Trusting the Bodyguard

by Kimberly Van Meter

  “My job made it easy to do that.”

  “Yeah…I know. That’s why when I heard that you were home—” Archer winced at the word home and Josh reached out to grasp his shoulder, surprising him with the gesture as Josh wasn’t the touchy-feely type. “This is your home. There are people who love you here in this town. My family included. My mom was worried sick.”

  Archer thought of Mary Halvorsen and a warm feeling followed. That woman was tough as nails but she had a heart that wouldn’t quit. Not even when a kid from the wrong side of the tracks tried everything possible to push everyone away. She’d shoved food down his throat when he was too proud to admit there was nothing to eat in his own house and bought him jeans when the ones he was wearing were in shreds. Not to mention the shoes. A wave of shame made him ask, “Is everything okay with your mom? Everything good on the home front?”

  Josh nodded. “Things are good. Mom would love to see you again.”

  “I’m sorry…things are complicated right now.”

  Josh made a face. “She loves you like a son, which—”

  “Archer?”

  Both men turned at the sound of Marissa’s voice. Damn. This is what he’d hoped to avoid.

  “Marissa?” Josh’s look of surprise was mirrored in his voice. Then, Josh turned to Archer. “Something you want to share?”

  “No,” he answered but knew he’d end up doing just that. With a disgruntled sigh, he gestured for Marissa to come downstairs. She disappeared for a moment and reappeared with the baby in her arms. Josh’s eyes widened and then his stare swiveled to him, and Archer felt the need to defend himself. “It’s not what it looks like,” he grumbled. He might need a beer—or several—to get through this reunion.

  “Josh…” Marissa murmured, a hesitant smile in her voice. “It’s been a while. How have you been?”

  “Can’t complain. Me and Tasha adopted a baby boy from Punta Gorda. But what about you?” He gestured to the baby and, as always, her gaze softened with pure joy.

  Archer cut in before Marissa could answer. “Like I said, things are complicated. Marissa is…visiting for a few days.”

  “Ah,” Josh said, but he wasn’t buying it. Still, he chose to go along with the story for the time being and Archer was relieved. “How about a beer? I see your manners haven’t gotten any better in the three years you’ve been away. Miller, if you’ve got it.”

  There was no point in refusing, Josh seemed ready to air their dirty laundry and he wasn’t about to leave until they patched things up. That had always been something Archer appreciated—if only secretly—about his friend. If it hadn’t been for Josh’s stubborn refusal to take no for an answer, Archer would’ve been one lonely son of a bitch when they were growing up.

  “One beer,” Archer growled and stalked into the kitchen.

  MARISSA WAS EMBARRASSED by Archer’s attitude, though why she felt compelled to feel anything on Archer’s behalf she didn’t know. But she did know that Josh had been Archer’s best friend all through high school and beyond and it wasn’t right for Archer to be so short with him without cause.

  When Archer left the room, she caught Josh’s keen eye settling on the faint bruising along her lip and she felt the overwhelming urge to hide. Instead, she met his questioning stare head-on. She wasn’t the kind of person to run and hide—even when she should—so why start now? “It wasn’t Archer,” she said softly, and he started, obviously ashamed that she’d caught him speculating. “I came to him for help.”

  “What’s wrong?” he asked. “Anything I can do?”

  She smiled. Archer had told her the stories of practically growing up in the Halvorsen household and how they could never resist a friend in need. It warmed her just a little to know that he considered her a friend. “Thanks. I wouldn’t want to get you involved. It’s bad enough I’ve dragged Archer into it,” she admitted, moving to the sofa to sit. She gave a toy to Jenna and then settled back with a sigh. “Things have changed a lot since I saw you last.”

  She’d met Josh and Tasha Halvorsen when Archer had finally brought her to Emmett’s Mill after much needling. She’d wanted to know more about the man she’d fallen in love with. Archer wasn’t the kind to share background information lightly. She figured by seeing where he grew up she might get a little more insight into the man. She hadn’t thought it would be so difficult to get him to agree. After some time, he’d finally caved but he hadn’t been happy about it. She’d been enchanted with the lovely scenic town but she’d known right away that his memories weren’t all great. While he clearly loved Josh in a brotherly way, going home had made him edgy.

  Perhaps that hadn’t changed. She wondered why he stayed at all.

  “So…Marissa…what have you been up to? I didn’t realize you and Archer had kept in touch after…you know, the breakup,” he stumbled a little and his cheeks colored but she forgave him with a smile. It was awkward for everyone. She wasn’t going to make it worse.

  “We didn’t. I surprised Archer by showing up. This is my niece, Jenna. I know you noticed the bruise. It’s okay, it’s hard to miss. My sister was killed recently and we needed a safe place. Archer was the first person I thought of.”

  Archer appeared with two beers and, after handing Josh his, cracked his own. Marissa looked to him, trying to gauge his mood but aside from an overall tightening of his features, he was unreadable. She did sense that he and Josh had a lot of catching up to do. Rising, she gathered the baby and announced they were going to take a short nap. “It was nice to see you again, Josh,” she said with a genuine smile and then left the men to their conversation. By the looks of it, Archer wasn’t looking forward to it.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  BOTH MEN WAITED UNTIL Marissa was behind closed doors before speaking. Then Josh didn’t waste time.

  “Who hit her?”

  Archer’s mouth tightened and it was a long moment before he answered. He didn’t really want Josh involved but he supposed an abridged version was acceptable.

  “Her sister ran into some trouble, got tangled up with the wrong people. She was killed recently and Marissa got caught in the cross fire.”

  “She going to be okay?” Josh asked.

  Archer shrugged, he didn’t know the answer to that. He didn’t even know how to help her yet. Or if he could help her at all. The whole situation screamed complicated. “I’m just giving her a place to crash for the time being,” he said, making it sound as if he really wasn’t concerned with the details of her problems. Given the way things ended between them, Josh should’ve bought it. Yet, the man was looking at him as if he knew there was more to the story.

  “Someone smacked her good. I imagine she looked pretty roughed up when she first got here,” Josh commented between swigs. “Must’ve been a shock to find her on your doorstep.”

  “You have no idea,” he muttered. More like a nightmare and a dream come true all in one. How many times had he privately wished that she’d suddenly change her mind and want to get back together again in the days after their breakup? More than he cared to admit. It made him feel pathetic and weak. He swallowed a mouthful of beer and then let out a satisfying belch. “So, Halvorsen…you didn’t come to shoot the shit. So let’s get down to brass tacks. Apology or not, you’re here to give me what for and I deserve it so let ’er rip.”

  Josh actually smiled and tipped his beer. “I was never one to hold a grudge. Like I said, I guess you had your reasons for acting like a total asshole. You’re sorry and I believe you. So seal the deal and come have dinner with us tomorrow night.”

  “I don’t know if that’s a good idea,” Archer hedged for a number of reasons, not all of them attributable to Marissa’s situation. Josh may be able to forgive him for being such a jerk but he wasn’t ready to forgive himself. Just seeing Josh again made him flinch with shame.

  “Why are you letting me off the hook so easily?” he demanded. He wanted some kind of penance, otherwise how could he ever earn the man’s friendship bac
k? At Josh’s perplexed expression, he rose and walked to the window, glancing about his property as a habit but also to avoid the face-to-face stuff that he really sucked at. “I blamed you for a long time, even though it wasn’t your fault in the least. How can you forgive me?”

  “Because you’re my best friend, Arch.”

  Josh’s solemn answer deflated him. He turned. “Just like that?” he said.

  “Yeah. Just like that. We’ve known each other a long time. Do you know how I know you’re a good friend? Because it doesn’t matter how long it’s been since we’ve seen each other. It still feels the same between us. When I was married to Carrie, we hardly saw each other. I was in Stockton and you were off playing soldier boy. But that didn’t matter, did it?”

  “Of course not.”

  “Well, so we had a rough patch and it lasted a few years. Standing here right now, it doesn’t feel any different than it ever did. That’s how I know.”

  Archer was horrified to feel moisture pricking his eyes. Good grief. “Well, shit,” he mumbled, mostly to himself. Country logic got him every time. He looked up and found Josh watching him with a warm grin. He rolled his eyes and said, “Don’t you try to hug me, Halvorsen. You know I don’t swing that way.”

  Josh cracked up. “Yeah, well, that’s good. Tasha doesn’t like to share,” he said, adding, “And if I ever did swing that way, sorry, buddy, but you wouldn’t be my first choice. I know too much about you. There’s no mystery.”

  They shared a smile and it felt good, even if Archer’s felt a little rusty. “You’re a good man, Halvorsen. How’d I ever get so lucky?”

  Josh shrugged. “Dunno, but don’t push it. Next time you decide to go AWOL and mad dog on me, you’re on your own. Now tell me what’s really going on with Marissa.”

  Archer sighed. He wanted to…but he didn’t want to put Josh and his family at risk. He had a bad feeling about this situation with Marissa and it had nothing to do with the fact that he might still be in love with her.

  IT WAS SOME TIME before Josh left, and as Marissa came downstairs with Jenna, she wondered what mood she’d find Archer in.

  She was surprised to find him in the kitchen.

  “You’re a regular Rachael Ray, aren’t you?” she teased lightly, coming around the bar. She gestured to the fixings and asked, “What’s on the menu?”

  “Nothing fancy, just your basic meat, potatoes and greens.”

  “Sounds good to me,” she said, moving past him to make Jenna a bottle. “So, it was nice to see Josh again,” she started, hoping to open the conversation.

  “Yeah, it was,” Archer agreed, and then moved to start chopping the tomatoes for the salad. He shot her a quick look and said, “I didn’t give him details of your situation.”

  “Oh. Thank you. I mean, I trust Josh, he seems like a good man, but I wouldn’t want his family to get wrapped up in this mess.”

  “My thoughts exactly,” he agreed, sliding the tomatoes into the bowl and moving on to the cucumbers.

  “You seem like something is bothering you,” she commented, frowning as he jerked the lettuce with more force than needed. “You don’t have to cook for us, you know,” she said. “I’m perfectly capable of putting food together.”

  “It’s not you,” he said.

  “Then what is it?”

  He stopped, the knife clenched in his hand. Then he swore and put the knife down before looking at her. “When we broke up…I said some pretty bad things to Josh. Things he didn’t deserve after everything he’s ever done for me.”

  “Why would you do that?” she asked, confused.

  “Because I was a mess when things ended,” he admitted softly. Her insides quivered and she knew the person he had wanted to lash out at was her but she hadn’t been available. She bit her lip and remained quiet. When he realized she wasn’t going to say anything to his confession, he shook his head and went back to the vegetables. “Well, I screwed up and took it out on my best friend because I was jealous of his happiness. How good of a best friend am I? The man is there for me my entire life and I go and dump on him because I’m so messed up. Nice. Maybe it’s a blessing we didn’t work out. It’s obvious I don’t have it in me to take another person’s feelings under consideration.”

  “Stop,” she ordered, surprising him with her vehemence. She wasn’t going to listen to this pity-party, not from him. “You’re not a bad person, so stop trying to pretend to be one. You reacted to a situation that was emotionally hurtful. That’s it. And Josh forgave you, so just stop.”

  He turned to Marissa, his expression haunted and bleak, more so than the situation warranted, in Marissa’s opinion, which made her wonder what he wasn’t telling her. “You don’t know who I am anymore, Marissa,” he said. “I’ve done things…hurt people.”

  “Like what and who?” she asked, startling him with her demand. “You were a soldier who went to war. I told you then and I’m telling you now, what you did in the service of your country is simply that. As far as what you do in your job now…well, it’s not like you work a normal nine to five. I suppose there’s a certain amount of occupational hazard. We’ve both done and said things we’ve regretted over the past three years, Archer. Don’t you think of all people, I would understand that?”

  He met her questioning gaze and he held it for a long moment. She wanted to smooth away the lines that creased his forehead and make him understand that he didn’t have to shoulder the world, even if someone asked him to. But that wasn’t her right any longer. And she needed his protection, so she was doing the very thing she knew she shouldn’t. It was a twisted situation and there was no help for it. So they had to make the best of it, scars and all. Jenna fussed and tugged at her pant leg. Marissa bent to pick her up.

  “You’re good with her,” Archer commented, almost wistfully. “You’re a good mother. I always knew you would be.”

  The breath hitched in her chest. It was painful to hear him say that when they had talked often about children in playful, meandering conversations that had started with laughter and ended with passion. How far away they were now from that time in their lives. Realizing the moment had stretched on too long, she simply smiled at the compliment, not ready to let him know how much she still cared…and wished wholeheartedly that she’d made a different choice when it could’ve mattered and made a difference for everyone.

  LATER THAT NIGHT WHEN Jenna was asleep, Marissa went to Archer’s door and knocked softly. There were things that needed to be said and if she didn’t at least try, she might lose the tenuous grip she had on her sanity. The moments ticked on, increasing the pressure in her chest as she considered that he either was avoiding her or was asleep, but as she lifted her curled fist to knock again, the door opened.

  She swallowed the knot in her throat at the sight of him. Bathed in soft light from the small bedside lamp and wearing nothing but a pair of soft flannel pajama bottoms, she tried not to focus on the ridges of hard flesh that filled the landscape of his chest and abs and made her fingers tingle with the need to touch. He was a man of epic proportions, in every sense. He’d always made her feel distinctly feminine with his bulk beside her, on top of her, inside her. She wrestled with a shudder as he watched her warily. “Something wrong, Rissa?” he asked, the low pitch of his voice touched with concern made her ache inside for something that didn’t belong to her. The sound of her nickname on his tongue made her melt.

  “I…wanted to talk with you,” she stammered, averting her eyes from his body so she could think clearly. She wondered briefly at the thick, white bandage covering a section of his shoulder but she was too wrapped up in her own tangled thoughts that she pushed it away for the time being.

  He grabbed a shirt from the back of the chair nearest the door and pulled it on. She flicked a look of gratitude his way, though he surely didn’t realize his near naked-body made her squirm in a way that had nothing to do with modesty. He paused, then gestured for her to come inside. “Something has been botherin
g me and I need to get it off my chest,” she said, once she was inside.

  His squint said Oh, God, there’s more to this mess, but he didn’t comment, just waited for her to start talking.

  But her throat seemed closed and actually getting the words out became difficult at best. Her distress was evident and his expression gentled. Pulling her to the bed, he said, “Whatever it is, we’ll figure it out. I have a friend in the Bureau who’s chasing down some leads on this Ruben guy—”

  She interrupted him with a shake of her head. “It’s not about Ruben. It’s about you and me.”

  ARCHER FELL SILENT AT her admission, his thoughts jumbled as he wondered what she could mean. He didn’t want to jump to conclusions, though it was hard not to. A part of him was tempted to go on the defensive but he tried to rein that urge in, along with the other urges that were making tapioca of his brain.

  Didn’t she know how beautiful she was? How she made him want to take her into his arms and make her his again? The sharp white dress shirt he gave her to sleep in—his T-shirts would’ve clung to her every curve—went past her knees, but her legs, tanned and toned, were bare to her coral-painted toes. The shape of her breasts were hidden from him by the oversize shirt but he had no trouble recalling their firm weight in his hand, the taste of the dusky nipple in his mouth.

  Her hair fell in loose waves down her back, the ends curling softly in a wild tangle that he knew would feel like silk sliding through his hands. He remembered how she liked to be touched, kissed. The memory of her scent taunted and teased in the cruelest of ways, made his skin tighten all over in eager anticipation of something he couldn’t have, shouldn’t want.

  “What is it?” he asked, his voice harsher than he’d intended, feeling like a car hurtling down a freeway into oncoming traffic with the brake line cut. His body heated with the desire he barely kept restrained and he realized, too late, that he should’ve moved this conversation out of the bedroom, somewhere that wasn’t conducive to taking her down onto the goose-down comforter and loving her until she couldn’t breathe. But God help him, he couldn’t get himself to commit to the words. Instead he held them back and waited in willful torture for whatever would come next.