Trusting the Bodyguard

by Kimberly Van Meter

  “I’ve made my decision,” Archer said, unmoved by the General’s bluster or gathering frown. “You knew this was coming. I’m a loose cannon and a danger to the team. It’s been a good run but it’s over for me.”

  The General harrumphed. “Stop being such a girl. So you shot someone. Not the first time, won’t be the last. It’s not like you gunned down a pack of school-kids, Brant. Get your shit straight and we’ll put this behind us. The best thing for you is to get back to work. I made a mistake in listening to that quack doctor who sidelined you for the past month. You’re a highly trained agent who needs the adrenaline to stay fresh and tight.” He paused and pulled a file. “I have the perfect assignment for you right here. Nothing too stressful, just your routine Aryan Nation flush in Kentucky. I know how you love those skinheads. Figured it might be a nice change. I could have you out of here on the morrow. Just say the word.”

  Archer caught Jeremiah’s look and for a brief moment he considered the offer to get away, to lose himself in the job just as he always did, but he knew Jeremiah had been right all along. His heart had left the job a long time ago and he couldn’t pretend any longer that it hadn’t.

  “It’s been an honor to serve on your team, General,” Archer said, carefully placing his badge and his gun on the table. He unhooked his ID badge with special clearance and dropped it beside his gear.

  “So that’s it?” the General asked, resignation in his tone.

  Archer’s mouth twisted in a short smile. “That’s it.”

  The General closed the file and nodded to Jeremiah. “Well, then. Agent Hawker, will you please escort Mr. Brant out of the building?”

  “Yes, sir,” Jeremiah said, and then he and his friend and partner made a final walk down the halls together as comrades and peers.

  Rico appeared in the doorway of his office, his expression solemn. He gave Archer a stiff salute and Archer reciprocated.

  The next time he saw these guys he’d be a civilian.

  That is, if he ever saw them again.

  Ah, there it is, he noted…sadness. Sharp and bittersweet. Yet he kept walking.

  WEEKS HAD FLOWN BY AND Marissa had settled into a routine that included returning to work, replacing her broken furniture and finding a day care for Jenna that was near her employment. Since the state had awarded custody of Jenna to Marissa, she had started receiving a stipend from the government for her care, as well as social security from Mercedes. Marissa didn’t need the money and it gave her a small amount of joy to know she could put that money away in trust for Jenna to have when she started college.

  Ruben’s estate had been seized by the government and was likely to be tied up in asset recovery for years but if there was anything left it was to go to Jenna as his only living heir. Ruben’s mother died of an infection from her broken hip so that left the road free and clear for Jenna, although Marissa had reservations about accepting money that had been banked on the misery of others. It was blood money and someday when Jenna was older, she’d explain this to her and let her make her own choice about the money. She hoped Jenna wouldn’t want it but that decision was a long way off from today.

  There was a knock at the door and Marissa rose to open it.

  “Agent Hawker,” she said, surprised to see him at her door, lounging idly at the door frame. “What can I do for you? Is everything all right?”

  She was still a little leery of him, remembering how cold and relentless he’d been in that interrogation room when she’d thought he was trying to take her down for kidnapping.

  “Archer needs you,” he stated bluntly.

  She stepped away. “What is this about?”

  “This is about a man giving up everything for a woman who kicked him to the curb not once but twice. This is about a woman who has a peculiar way of showing her gratitude to a man who would willingly take a bullet in her place. That’s what this is about.”

  “Well, then I don’t see how it’s any of your business, Agent Hawker. Good day,” she said, attempting to close the door but he stopped it with the flat of his hand, making her jump.

  “Not yet,” he warned and she took a step back, alarmed. “I’m here to say my piece and you’re going to listen.”

  “I’ve heard enough,” she said, her heart fluttering hard in her chest. She didn’t want to hear how Archer was suffering. It would only serve to make her feel worse for being unable to be there for him.

  “You haven’t heard the half of it. Archer quit the branch a month ago. He’s gone.”

  Archer quit the branch? “Why?” she whispered, looking to Jeremiah for answers. “Why would he do that? He loves the job.”

  “He used to love the job. Now he loves something—or someone—else more. Yet, here you are. And you’re both alone.”

  Marissa jerked. “He shot Ruben in cold blood,” she stated. “The man I knew would never do that.”

  “The man I know couldn’t let a murderer get away with what he’d done to two women, one of whom he’d die for. Do you know he sat by your bedside night and day while you were in a coma? That he didn’t even leave to shower or eat. Whatever food he managed to shove down his throat, we brought to him.”

  She knew this. But how was she supposed to reconcile herself to the fact that the man she loved was capable of such an atrocity? She understood that in the course of his job he’d had to use deadly force to protect himself or others in the past and she didn’t fault him for it but what had happened with Ruben…she’d seen it in his eyes that it had been nothing like that. She blinked back tears. “He should’ve let the law run its course,” she maintained stubbornly, and if she were being honest, cowardly.

  “You’re right. And if he had, Ruben would likely be out on a technicality and you’d be constantly looking over your shoulder, waiting and wondering when he was coming for you. He said as much to Archer that day. Promised it, in fact. Make no mistake, Marissa…that man planned to do far worse to you than what you endured that night at the compound. Archer couldn’t live with that. Wouldn’t allow it. He did what was necessary. And if no one else is judging him, why are you?”

  Her mouth worked but no sound came out. Finally, she managed to whisper, “Why’d he have to do it?”

  Jeremiah looked grim as he answered. “He did it because he felt he didn’t have a choice. Given the options…I can’t say you wouldn’t have done the same.”

  “I wouldn’t kill a man,” she countered.

  “You already have,” he reminded her. “To save Jenna.” He turned to leave but added, “Careful of that blood on your own hands, you never know what you’ll end up staining when you try to wipe it away.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY

  IT WAS A LONG TIME before the tears stopped coming after Agent Hawker left. She wanted to scream at him for awakening her desperate need to forgive Archer for whatever he’d had to do to keep them safe but it was there and suddenly loud in its despair.

  She tucked herself into a ball and rocked, closing her eyes to everything but the ardent wish that life hadn’t been so cruel to the people she cared about.

  She thought of Mercedes, her beloved, bigger-than-life sister who had brought her wild and crazy energy to everything she’d ever set her heart on doing and how when she left this world she’d done it in a big way. Marissa thought with a tear-soaked smile how Mercedes would’ve laughed off Marissa’s moral dilemma with a shrug and a flip “he deserved it” before moving on.

  She thought of Layla, who’d done nothing to earn her fate except be her friend and coworker. She remembered how Layla used to love pickle and mayonnaise sandwiches yet declared beanie-weenies inedible. She choked on the rising bubble of hysterical laughter and wished Layla were here to try and convince her that if everyone turned vegetarian the world would be a better place.

  Layla’s voice faded and Marissa wiped away her tears.

  But if Layla and Mercedes were here they’d call her crazy for pushing away a good man. Her cheeks burned as she recalled Jeremiah’s
parting statement. Yes, she had killed a man to protect Jenna and she’d do it again if need be.

  So, Archer had done what needed to be done to keep them safe. How was that wrong? In the eyes of the law it was wrong, she answered, but it was weak at best and quickly losing ground.

  When Ruben was beating her within an inch of her life, she’d hoped Archer would riddle him with bullets and that he’d suffer a thousand torments as he slowly bled out. Yet, she’d blacked out thinking she was going to die hanging from the ceiling and Ruben was going to do awful things to Jenna. At that moment, she would’ve given her soul to keep that from happening.

  Perhaps it had been no different for Archer. She couldn’t imagine the guilt he carried, or the image of her he had stuck in his mind during her worst hour.

  Shame burned, hot and deep, and she buried her head against her knees until Jenna toddled over to her and leaned her little head against her in some attempt to offer comfort. Marissa lifted her head and offered a smile but it hurt even to do that. “Oh, mija, I’ve made a terrible mistake. What should I do now?”

  Jenna grinned and sucked on her finger, her world none the worse for wear for their tragedy and Marissa had Archer to thank for that. Marissa smoothed a curl away from Jenna’s sweet face and sighed unhappily.

  Jenna frowned and plopped down on her diapered behind and Marissa hiccupped softly. “That’s how I feel, too,” she acknowledged, tears brimming in her eyes. “I just don’t know how to fix everything that went wrong.”

  ARCHER DIDN’T KNOW WHAT the hell he was doing. He’d spent the past few weeks trying to convince himself that turning in his badge had been the right decision but then the empty house had mocked him at every turn and he wondered if he was about to lose his mind.

  And then it became clear—blindingly so. It wasn’t the house or the job that was driving him crazy. It was that he’d left without a fight.

  He’d tucked his tail under his legs and ran at the first sign that Marissa was rejecting him again. He’d seen it in her eyes that she was hurt and confused, but instead of sitting down with her and holding her until she saw clearly again, he’d bolted.

  Just like the last time. He hadn’t fought. He’d given up. Walked away in an angry sulk, pissed-off at the world because he’d been too much of a coward to fight for what was important.

  Not this time. If she wanted to kick him out of her life she’d have to put her back into it because he wasn’t ready to walk away without putting it all out there.

  He went to her apartment but she wasn’t there. He checked his watch. Not quite five o’clock. So he detoured to her work. He was just bounding up the stairs going toward the double glass doors when he saw her coming out of a side building, carrying Jenna.

  He stopped and their stares locked. He didn’t waste time and strode toward her.

  “I’ve come to tell you something,” he stated before she could open her mouth and before he could lose his nerve. “I love you. I killed a man and I’d do it again if it meant keeping the people I love safe. I’m not perfect. I’m hotheaded, mean-tempered when I haven’t had my coffee, and I’ve even been accused of being a sore loser, but one thing I’m not is a coward. That’s why I’m here. I’m not going to keep running from the way I feel about you. And I’m not going to let you run away from the way you feel about me, either, just because you’re going through some kind of latent guilt over a dirtbag sadist who got his kicks by mutilating women. If you need counseling to help get you through this, we’ll find the best damn head doc money can buy. Whatever it takes…I’ll do it because, Marissa Vasquez, you’re my world and without you in it, I’m just going through the motions.”

  She swallowed but said nothing even as her eyes filled. He expected her to try and push him away again but he held his ground, showing her that he was willing to be her rock if she would only let him. And if that meant she needed someone to shoulder the burden of the past because it was too heavy for her, he was the man to do it.

  “I never saw myself as a man who could live a normal life but I’ve come to realize it wasn’t the normal part that scared me. It was the threat of losing it, should I ever be so blessed to have it. My old man taught me that life is short so take your pleasure where you can but I had it all wrong. I was running away from anything that represented stability instead of embracing it. Hell, what I’m trying to say is…I want to embrace a life with you and Jenna. I want you to rearrange my furniture as many times as you like, plant flowers and hang bird feeders if you want. I want to argue over whose turn it is to check the mail at the end of the driveway and watch late-night television with you tucked against my side, falling asleep together halfway before the show is over. I want to go to backyard barbecues and drink beer with my friends and wink at you from across the way as you chat over the potato salad with the wives. I want it all. The good, the bad, the boring. Everything.” He took a chance and closed the gap between them. He touched her stomach reverently and said softly, “But most of all I want Jenna to have plenty of brothers and sisters to play with and I want to hear our home filled with their laughter.”

  Marissa’s eyes welled and tears spilled down her cheeks but he didn’t sense sadness and that gave him hope. “Tell me I made the right choice to fight and not walk away this time,” he said, choking on his own words.

  She jerked in an uneven nod as she pulled him to her, sealing her mouth to his. He feasted on her lips and tasted her tears. She slid her mouth across his in the sweetest kiss that spoke of gratitude, heartbreak, longing and desire but mostly of love, and Archer knew he’d made the right choice.

  “Thank you for not giving up,” she whispered against his neck, clinging to him as if he might disappear if she opened her eyes. “Please…take us home. I’m ready, too. For everything.”

  EPILOGUE

  MARISSA CHATTED WITH Tasha Halvorsen and caught Archer’s lusty stare from across the yard, laughing when Josh teased him about it.

  “I’ve never seen Archer so happy,” Tasha remarked. “I’m guessing he’s not missing the old day job.”

  She laughed and rubbed her distended belly. “I’ve kept him too busy,” she admitted, blushing only a little at the innuendo. Newlyweds were supposed to be constantly eager to touch. But even if they hadn’t just celebrated their first anniversary, Marissa knew it would be the same. They both shared an appetite for one another that was equal in proportion to the other.

  “How about you? Do you miss your job back at the lab?” Tasha asked.

  Marissa thought about it and aside from a pang of nostalgia, she didn’t miss it at all. Back in the city she’d been driven to be better than where she came from but she was no longer haunted by that sense of inadequacy. Her nest egg was safe and secure and they lived quite nicely on Archer’s pension and savings he banked from his years with the service and the branch. Eventually, they would both look for jobs but for now, they were just making up for lost time and savoring every minute until they were bleary-eyed with fatigue from the new baby.

  “I’ve heard you’re having another girl,” Tasha commented, patting Marissa’s belly softly. “Have you decided on a name?”

  At that Marissa quieted. From the moment they discovered they were having a girl, they’d known what her name was going to be. It had seemed the perfect choice.

  “Her name is Layla Mercedes,” she answered softly, hoping her friend and sister would be happy with the choice and that they were smiling down on them. “And if she turns out to love pickle and mayonnaise sandwiches and have a penchant for drama I’ll know for sure it was the right name for her.”

  Tasha chuckled with a quizzical expression but Marissa didn’t elaborate. She wandered over to Archer and leaned into him, smiling as he watched Jenna play with the Halvorsen kids running around.

  “Have I told you how much I love you?” she murmured.

  “Not today,” he said with a somber expression that was as fake as a two-dollar bill.

  “Well, let me rectify that.”
She lifted on her tiptoes and rubbed her nose against his. “I am crazy in love with you, Archer Brant. What do you think about that?”

  He grinned like a man who had the world on a platter and wrapped his arms around her body, loving the feel of her rounded bump against him, and said, “I think that makes me the luckiest man alive.” Then he leaned down to tickle her ear with a whisper. “What say we cut out early…”

  “I thought you couldn’t wait for a piece of Tasha’s apple pie?” she said coyly.

  “What if I told you, you were the only thing that would satisfy my raging sweet tooth?”

  She grinned up at him, full to bursting with all the love and fulfillment a woman had a right to have and offered in a husky tone, “Then I’d say I’ll go get my purse while you offer our goodbyes.”

  He growled and lightly pinched her behind as she hurried away. “I love a woman of action.”

  She laughed. Life was good.

  ISBN: 978-1-4268-5254-1

  TRUSTING THE BODYGUARD

  Copyright © 2010 by Kimberly Sheetz.

  All rights reserved. Except for use in any review, the reproduction or utilization of this work in whole or in part in any form by any electronic, mechanical or other means, now known or hereafter invented, including xerography, photocopying and recording, or in any information storage or retrieval system, is forbidden without the written permission of the publisher, Harlequin Enterprises Limited, 225 Duncan Mill Road, Don Mills, Ontario, Canada M3B 3K9.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events or locales is entirely coincidental.