School Days

by Ed Nelson

  Russia needed access through the land route. So it was a war of denial by the British and conquest by the Russians. It would also give Russia access to warm water ports. While they had ports on the north side of Russia they were frozen in for a good part of the year making regular trade impossible.

  So the British Empire was trying to consolidate its hold on India, the Russian Empire was trying to expand to India. The only people who were profiting were the Afghans. The tribal warlords would fight for whoever was paying them the most while settling old feuds.

  They were getting paid for attacking their enemies. Because of the terrain no one could take and hold the country. I think what Kipling had to say about being wounded on Afghans plains was correct.

  Now all I had to do was find the citations and evidence to back up my thesis. This essay was promising to be the most in depth one I had done to date. It was rich in material. I had been thinking to learn how to type. This pushed me over the edge.

  It was too late in the school year to get into typing class and I think it may have been limited to girls only. At least I had never seen a guy in that classroom. I would have to learn by myself. I would ask Miss Wolcott the typing teacher for advice.

  After school my first stop was the typing room. I caught Miss Wolcott as she was getting ready to leave but she was kind enough to take a few minutes with me. If I could afford it she recommended that I buy an electric typewriter from IBM.

  McGills office supplies sold them and the same book as they used in class.

  She told me, “The trick is to learn by muscle memory where the keys are. Then you will need to practice, practice, and practice until you reach your maximum typing speed without looking at the keyboard or making errors.”

  I asked her, “Why does it sound easy when you say it, but I know it won’t be.”

  She just laughed and went on her way. From behind it looked like a nice way.

  I went to Mr. Donaldson’s office to pick up the shower adaptors. He offered to do more work for me anytime I needed it. I promised him that I would have his money on Monday first thing. He told me he knew I was good for it and good luck with the patent attorney.

  When I got home one of the first things I did was install an adaptor to my shower head. It only took about ten minutes to remove the shower head, and place the adaptor in line. The paste dope sealed the joints perfectly. It was a little messy but really worked.

  I took a shower just to try it out. It worked exactly like I hoped it would. I could direct a stream of water within the confines of the shower exactly where I wanted it and it would stay there.

  After I got dressed again I brought Mum and Dad up to see the adaptor and how it worked. Well I practically dragged them up to see it. They were duly impressed and said so. Mum wanted to know if this idea was really worth much.

  “Mum I’m hoping to license the manufacture of them after I have applied for a patent. I am told I could get anywhere from ten to fifteen percent of the profit of the sale from each adaptor. If they are in line with other plumbing fixtures I have seen, then they will sell for two dollars apiece. The normal markup is one dollar. So I will get ten to fifteen cents for each one sold.”

  “There are millions of showers that could use this. More important is the market for new shower heads. New homes are being built with combination bath tubs and showers like ours. If I can sell this I expect to make one hundred and fifty thousand dollars a year until the design patent expires in twenty years.”

  “Oh,” was all Mum said.

  Mrs. Hernandez showed up for our daily Spanish lesson. Today Mary and I took on Denny and Eddie in a game of pool. Of course we only could speak Spanish so it was, “Bola ocho en la esquina pocket,” by Eddie for the winning shot.

  This was a great way to learn. I asked her if we would learn to read Spanish. She told me she was arranging for Cuban newspapers to be sent to her. We would use those.

  Meanwhile the house was beginning to smell wonderful. Mum was baking the pies for Thanksgiving dinner. Mrs. Hernandez asked us what those wonderful aromas were, in Spanish of course. When I told her what they were for she told us she may have to reconsider Thanksgiving.

  She talked with Mum a bit as usual before leaving. She had never seen a turkey before. Mum was just getting ours out to thaw. It must have been an eighteen pounder. Cranberries were new to her also.

  As they talked Mum realized the Wingers were going to Mrs. Winger’s mothers for dinner and hadn’t invited Mrs. Hernandez. Mrs. Hernandez would be alone on Thanksgiving.

  Mum couldn’t let that stand and invited her. She accepted so quick it seemed obvious she was hoping for an invitation. It would be neat to have a Spanish lesson over dinner.

  I talked to Dad about a ride to Dayton the Saturday after this one. He wasn’t real thrilled. He asked if I had any friends who would drive me down for gas money. I told him I would check around, but remember my friends were mostly too young to drive. He told me that driving me around was getting to be a pain.

  That I was to hurry up and get older so I had a license. I told him I would work on it every day. I know he was kidding, but he was kidding on the square.

  That night I started a new story. This knight had to hold a castle for a year and a day before she would marry him. She then fled the scene disguised as a boy.

  Chapter 17

  Thanksgiving Day opened with a light covering of snow. The runner in me didn’t like it. The hunter loved it. We would be able to see rabbit and pheasant tracks, and if we were really lucky a fox. I did my indoor exercise, cleaned up and got dressed for a morning outside.

  The house had wonderful aromas. Mum had been up since four o’clock to get the turkey in the oven. Dad and Denny were already up and good to go. Dad had scrambled eggs and bacon along with hash browns on the stove.

  The only change to this annual ritual was that I now automatically had coffee with my breakfast. Denny kept going over to the corner where our shotguns were. You could tell he wanted to load his and go hunting.

  Instead we ate breakfast then cleaned our guns. Dad insisted on this. We didn’t go out regularly like we used to so it had been months since they had been fired. He wanted to know they were clean and in good working order before he would allow them in the field.

  Finally it was time to go. Dad and I put on our yellow hunting jackets with the game pockets and loops for shotgun shells. Our licenses were pinned to the back. Denny put on his old ratty outdoor play coat.

  Mum stopped him, “What do you think you are doing boyo? Why aren’t you wearing your new coat?”

  This stopped Denny in his tracks, “My new coat?”

  Mum brought out from behind her a brand new yellow hunting coat.

  “You should wear this one, it already has your hunting license on it,” she told him as she turned the stiff canvas jacket around to present his license.

  You would have thought it was Christmas and his birthday all rolled into one. Certainly I hadn’t acted like that when I got mine. I thought back. Oh, I was worse. At least he isn’t jumping up and down.

  So ready at last the mighty hunters loaded in the car. We drove up to the field we had permission to hunt. We were the last to arrive. My four uncles and seven cousins were already there. We cousins were all within three years of each other but I was the only one that went to BHS.

  Uncle Ross’s kids went to West Liberty and Wally’s to Lakeview. Uncle’s Jim and Gene only had daughters. That would be fourteen out in the field. This could be a problem unless we made a line and beat the field. There was over nine hundred acres so we were able to do that.

  I made a mental note not to worry about hunting that day. I would keep an eye on everyone to make sure we all stayed in line. I mentioned that to Dad and he just nodded. To be safe I didn’t even load my Remington shotgun. It’s a 1954 model 870 12 gauge pump action called the Wingmaster.

  The field we are hunting is right next to the airbase. It is on the far side of where the break in occur
red. Uncle Wally started telling everyone that he heard there was a break in and that we almost went to war with the Russians.

  Dad asked him how he knew this. Wally told us that he had been drinking down at the 151 Club on Main Street and heard a couple of Airmen talking about it.

  “Wally do you mean to tell me that you believed two drunken Airmen when they told you some two bit hood had broken into the base and it almost caused World War III,” my Dad asked?

  Now Dads opinion carried a lot of weight with his brothers so Wally started to hem and haw. Dad let it go. He had raised doubt in everyone’s mind. Dad turned and winked at me.

  Dad announced, “Let’s get this hunt going. Rick is going to be safety officer because there are so many of us. His shotgun isn’t loaded. When Rick tells you that you are out of the line, move up or drop back. When we climb a fence he will watch you unload your shotgun before climbing. Got it?”

  Everyone indicated they understood the rules of the hunt. I managed to get close enough to Uncle Wally to know that he didn’t reek of booze. Guns and alcohol don’t mix. Everyone in the family tried to work with Wally, but he was determined to go his own way. There could be no good end, but it is his life.

  We started across the field. It was short hay stubble left from the harvest.

  We weren’t fifty yards in when I was yelling, “Ross Junior, move up.”

  Next it was, “Jimmy slow down.”

  Each looked up and got back into line. The second time junior fell behind you could hear his Dad Ross Senior chewing on him.

  “Wake up and stay in line or go wait in the car,” he was told.

  Junior stayed in line after that. There could be no bigger disgrace than to be sent to the car on hunting day. We got to the end of that field without kicking up any game. Heck we had made so much noise that the game in Union County, the next county over had probably gone to cover.

  At the end of the field was a fence. We had to climb over it without breaking it down. Break a farm fence and you would lose your hunting privileges real quick no matter what friend or relation you were. We decided to climb over at the corner post of the field that was the strongest portion of the fence.

  I stood at the corner and watched as each hunter came up and ejected his shells. They then showed me the action had been cleared. At that point I would gesture and they would set their shotgun over the fence at the next post down.

  If they fell when they were going over the fence they wouldn’t knock over a loaded shot gun and kill themselves. This is a more common hunting accident.

  Somehow we made it without anything serious. My cousin Mark did get hung up on the barbed wire but only tore his coat. I think we all had done it at one time or another. I know my coat had several patches. I did have to remind Jimmy that we didn’t retrieve our shotguns until we were all over the fence.

  Once all were over shot guns retrieved and reloaded the line was reformed and we started out. I didn’t realize that rabbits could go deaf. That was the only reason I could think that the two that were kicked up were still around.

  As rabbits will do they had frozen into position until a hunter got too close. Then they would run. We called that kicked up. They were in the center of the line.

  The rabbits didn’t think it was funny, but they got hit by about five shotgun blasts at once. They would have so many pellets in them they wouldn’t be edible. Of course this started a big argument over whose shot it should have been.

  I thought Uncles Gene and Ross were going to face off, but believe it or not Wally stepped in as a peacemaker. By this time my feet were like frozen blocks of ice, so I really didn’t care if they duked it out. The two rabbits were left for a fox’s dinner or whatever got there first.

  We crossed into the next field successfully after going through the unloading, stack the guns, load and line up procedure. This one had a new obstacle. A small stream had to be crossed. It was iced over but we didn’t think it would hold our weight.

  So we found a narrow portion with a sandbar. Each gun was again unloaded. I jumped across first while Dad held my shotgun. He then handed me mine and then his. He jumped across and the rest followed in like manner.

  That is until cousin Mark jumped, he didn’t make it. Our thoughts on the ice thickness were correct as he crashed through into knee deep water. Now we had a wet hunter on our hands. There was nothing to do but get him back to the car. There was talk of some continuing on, but finally everyone gave up.

  We got back to the cars after going through the unloading, fence climbing loading procedure three more times on the way back. You never know there might be more deaf rabbits around.

  There weren’t and about everyone had even given up looking, I know that only one person bothered to reload his shotgun after we climbed the last fence.

  Denny was on his first hunt and was not about to give up. I was on the far right of our line, except it now looked more like a bunch. Anyway Denny was on my left, then Dad then, the herd. So Denny was perfectly correct when a pheasant came up right in front of him. It flew straight away rather than an angle that they normally did.

  This gave Denny a straight on shot with a little rise to it. Denny rose to the occasion. He smoothly pulled his gun into position and fired his twenty gauge shotgun.

  He brought the bird down cleanly. Dad field dressed the bird showing Denny how to do it. He also smeared a little of the blood on Denny’s forehead telling him he was now a blooded hunter. All our Uncles and Cousins congratulated him.

  We got back to the vehicles with no further problems. Of course Wally was passing around a quart of bourbon. When it came to me I pretended to take a sip but that was it. Hands were shaken all around. The hunt was declared a success and one of the better ones in the Jackson annuals. If that’s so it’s a wonder our family survived the hunter gatherer stage.

  I mentioned this to Dad he laughed, “Ricky if I was hunting for the table I would go by myself. When was the last time you were together with all your uncles and cousins?”

  That was easy, “Last Thanksgiving.”

  “Rick this is all about reminding ourselves who our family is. We need these events where we get together, we used to gather as a family almost every weekend, and we would play cards and spend time together.”

  “Now we don’t, I blame it on TV, our families are drifting apart. I think it will only get worse. Now it is cousins, later it will be brother and sister. This sort of get together is one of the few things we still do. That is why it was a success. It had nothing to do with hunting.”

  I thought about it on the way home. I don’t know if the influence of TV would ever be as great as Dad thought, but I wouldn’t let it separate me from my brothers and sister.

  When we got home the story of Denny’s pheasant got told and retold. The bird flew higher, faster and further with every telling. You could tell Eddie was a little upset that he couldn’t go with us. His turn would be in two years. We didn’t talk about the shot up rabbits around Mary.

  By the time we got cleaned up it was time for dinner. Mrs. Hernandez was there when we arrived. She and Mum were busy in the kitchen. Mary was helping Eddie set the table. Mary was directing him and telling him that he should be out hunting and leaving women’s work for the women.

  Talk about salt in the wound.

  I pitched in and helped them finish up while informing Miss Smarty Britches that men could help around the house and she could do the hunting for us. She liked that idea.

  What have I started?

  Dinner was turkey with all the fixings. The table had yams, mashed potatoes and gravy. An oyster dressing that was to die for. There were also cranberries, fresh baked rolls with homemade strawberry jam and fresh butter, and salad. Mum had made pumpkin pie along with fresh whipped cream for later.

  We ate until we felt like bursting. The whole time we learned new Spanish words for the food and table ware. Mum and Dad got into it. Mrs. Hernandez loved Mum’s English Cuban Spanish accent.


  With stuffed stomachs we watched the NFL football game on TV. It was as usual the Green Bay Packers against the Detroit Lions. This was the seventh time in a row that they had played each other on TV.

  The Packers had only won one out of six so we just wanted to see how bad The Lions would beat them. It ended up with a Detroit win 24 to Green Bay 14.

  I took a long walk in the evening. There wasn’t any way that I would try to run with that much food in me.

  Later I read more on the Scottish castle. Now we had noble women disguised as nuns.

  Chapter 18

  Friday I was up and running now that yesterday’s dinner was settled down. While cold it was clear and sunny and would be a nice day for a drive to Columbus. I paid particular attention to the civil war memorial in the center of route 33 in New California but I couldn’t figure out what units those men served in.

  Marvin Christenson was in his office at the Lincoln-Leveque Tower in Columbus on the fifteenth floor when we arrived. He was very welcoming and showed no resentment for having to come in the day after Thanksgiving. He looked to be about thirty years old, slight of build red hair and freckles. He looked very open and trustworthy. Handy attributes for a lawyer.

  I had brought everything I had with me. He examined everything and asked a few questions. Then he explained what was needed. First there would be a patent search. If nothing was found then we could file a Document Disclosure form which would serve as evidence of discovery. It would be for a utility patent rather than a design patent. Utility was for function, design for ornamentation.

  There would have to be an Abstract of less than one hundred and fifty words describing the invention. Plus Drawings, detailed specifications, a data sheet describing completely the intended function, an executed Oath or Declaration that I was the inventor.

  The necessary fees all accompanied by a transmittal sheet which described everything in the package submitted. Then a self-addressed stamped post card that listed down to individual page numbers of everything in the package submitted to the Patent Office. This would be cross checked upon arrival at the PO and sent back with the arrival date and application number.