by Bry Ann
“How did I get here?” I croaked out. “We… we drove… they know.”
My head was still spinning.
“You had a panic attack,” Logan said softly. “A bad one. I’m not surprised you don’t remember coming home.”
“Oh,” I instantly tensed as my parents entered the room, “sorry about that.”
Logan’s jaw clenched tighter especially when I stood up.
“I should probably get my room cleaned up and stuff. It’s been a, you know, long day,” I said as I tried to shuffle out of the room. I was amazed at how heavy my body felt. I must have really had a bad panic attack.
“Dana, we should talk!” Logan called as I exited the room, but it was too late. I was already in my room with the door shut and securely locked. Logan knew better than to come in there now. I silently cried in my pillow for hours and didn’t even bother waking up for school the next day. It was Friday anyway, and I knew no one would care. I stayed in my room for two full days in a completely numb, dead, catatonic state. I thought I’d known numbness until this moment. I realized then that I never truly had. This was numb. I felt dead inside.
It was on that second day that Logan picked my lock and entered my room. I was on my side facing the wall like I’d been virtually the last two days. I don’t know why I was so upset or what the world knowing about my suicide attempt triggered, but it triggered something I wasn’t able to pull myself out of.
Logan sat on the bed next to me and placed his hand over the comforter on my hip.
“Dana?” he asked quietly. “You there?”
I nodded, feeling my face scrape against the sheets.
“I’m gonna get you help. Okay Dana? Hang in there. I’m gonna make this go away.”
Something about his words broke through the numbness. I turned around and tucked my head into his leg and cried. I just kept crying until I couldn’t breathe. Then I would spend a second catching my breath and start crying again. Logan stayed with me the whole time but didn’t say much. It wasn’t until I finally stopped crying that I realized how tense Logan’s body was.
“You okay?” I finally asked when I stopped crying. I gently pushed myself up to seated. I know I had snot stuck on my face and my eyes were red and puffy, but it was Logan. He didn’t care.
“I’m fine Day. Don’t worry about me. You hear?”
“Yeah. I love you. Thank you… for caring.”
Logan’s shoulders fell. “I’m so sorry. This is my fault. I will make this better. You can count on that.”
“This isn’t your fault Logan.”
He gave sardonic smile and stood up.
“Can I get you anything?”
“I’ll get it.”
“I got it. What do you want?”
“Just a water please.”
“You haven’t eaten in two days.”
“Then an apple too.”
“Dana,” Logan scolded.
“Well geez. Just get me whatever then if you’re gonna be picky about it!”
Finally, Logan smiled.
“That was always the plan Day,” he winked.
My jaw dropped for a second, but then I smiled briefly and rolled my eyes. He may have been seventeen, but after seeing the way he’d taken control of this whole situation, and the way he dealt with the press two days ago, there was no doubt in my head Logan was already a man. I assume long before he was seventeen.
Present Day: Chapter 4:
Gunner was so clearly uneasy with being here at this place that had caused him so much pain. I saw it from the moment we arrived, but now that I was out of my annoyingly over emotional state I could see it even clearer. Gunner has always been one of the most self-assured people I knew, moving with complete and utter confidence and authority through life. His very presence felt threatening, and if I didn’t know so thoroughly he wouldn’t hurt me I would have never felt safe around him.
However, his movements here were more hesitant. He looked at his surroundings like there was an imminent threat around every corner. Not only that, but his fists were clenched tight at his sides most of the time, and I had a feeling if I wasn’t here his anger would be a lot worse and his pain more evident. It saddened me to know he was holding in so much. Gunner always was careful to not act like a rage filled drug lord around me, which in some ways I was grateful for, but it always left me wondering who he really was. Was he this ruthless drug lord with a small soft spot for weak and/or respectable women? Or was he just a tough man haunted by a terrible past? This was the only thing that unnerved me about Gunner, the not knowing.
“Gunner…”
I silently approached him as I watched him try to sneakily stuff guns in his bag. As if I wouldn’t see or was not fully aware that he carried guns with him everywhere he went. Please.
“Dana, why don’t you go get everything ready. We are leaving in a minute.”
“I see you packing guns. You don’t need to send me away. I already saw you. I’m right here.”
Annoyed, Gunner instantly dropped the bag and turned to face me. His temper was already on edge, and I could see something about what I said triggered him. His neck was bound tight and he had a vein that was pulsing as he fought for control.
“Dana, just listen to me for God sakes! When I send you away it’s for a fucking reason so just… go do something. Something else.”
“What’s wrong with you? Why are you so scared? You’re different…”
“No!” he snapped. “It’s just not as easy to put on a nice little show for you when you are around 24/7!”
With that he stuck a gun in his belt and threw the bag over his shoulder. I shot back. Those words were so painful. He couldn’t have said anything more hurtful, and in that moment, I wondered if my friendship with Gunner was ever a good thing. I instantly turned around, so he didn’t see the look on my face.
“Right, that makes sense,” I said meekly in response. “I didn’t think about that.”
I started to walk off, but the worst part was I had nowhere to go. The bedroom was Gunner’s and he made that abundantly clear, and the living space was the only other room. So, I just walked over to the couch that faced away from where Gunner was and took a seat.
“How long until I am back with Logan and everyone?” I asked quietly.
I heard Gunner shifting something around. “As soon as I can.”
“Just let me go back now!” I snapped suddenly, standing up. “I really don’t want to be here anymore.”
“We should leave,” he said ignoring my outburst. “It’s around noon, the busiest part of the day and the easiest to get around.”
“How about I just go grab my bag and go straight home? I won’t dilly dally. I’ll go straight there. I promise.”
“No.”
“That’s it. Just no?”
“We are leaving.”
With that Gunner opened the front door and walked out. I took a look around the cabin and realized I had to follow him. Despite everything, I trusted his judgement and I still felt safer with him around. He may hate me and find me annoying, but I knew he’d never let anything happen to me. He’d already proved it.
I grabbed my bag, the same one as yesterday, and stomped my feet like a twelve-year-old all the way out the door.
Once I was outside surrounded by pine trees I looked around and saw Gunner leaning against one of them with his arms crossed over his chest.
“I’m impressed. I thought for sure I’d have to come get you.”
“Yeah well, my friend is PMSing, so I thought I better not piss him off further.”
Gunner busted out laughing and shot me a smile. In his eyes was an apology, and because I apparently love to have my heart screwed with I instantly forgave him.
“What’s the plan?” I asked as we both drudged forward towards town. “I mean you practically kidnapped me, so I wasn’t seen with you so….”
“We will continue walking to town like this,” I was several feet behind him, “when we get
to town you will walk on the opposite side of the street. I’ll follow you to the hotel but stand in a location that is inconspicuous. My eye will be on you the entire time.”
It took us about twenty minutes to get into town, mainly because of me. I was slow, and Gunner made sure to keep pace with me, only staying a few feet ahead of me at all times. To my defense, I wasn’t exactly in hiking clothes!
Once we got to town I immediately did as Gunner asked. I went to the left he went to the right. I tried not to look at him. I knew he’d keep an eye on me, and if I could avoid being some kind of target, if I wasn’t already one, I was going to do that. For there being no active threat Gunner was sure acting like there was. I knew there was something he wasn’t telling me, but he never kept secrets from me for long. They always came out one way or another.
We made our way down the street and the second I saw the grocery store I looked over at Gunner desperately. Feed me. My desperation for food broke through his tense demeanor and he started laughing. He shot me a nod and made his way across the street. We both went in and shopped separate and then went back to our spots on the street. Gunner got a protein bar and some beef jerky, of course. I got a candy bar and a tub of pre-cut apples. Random. Balance?
It took us forever to get to the hotel, but I was so distracted by the apple slices I was stuffing in my mouth that I didn’t even really notice how long we had been walking. It wasn’t until I saw the familiar tan building that I snapped out of my trance and looked over at Gunner inconspicuously. He shot me a nod letting me know to go in. For some reason the second I pushed open the double doors I felt uneasy. I don’t know why. There was no active threat, no one was following me, Gunner was right outside, but for some reason I could feel the hairs on the back of my neck standing up. Usually I listened to my gut, but I didn’t want Gunner to think I was paranoid, so I kept trudging forward. I went up the elevator and pulled my key card out of my purse. When I finally got to the fourth floor I slid the key in the slot and waited for the green light. It flashed green three times and I opened the door, walked down the narrow hallway and into the small bedroom where I kept my bag.
As soon as I rounded the corner a hand clamped over my mouth. I tried to scream but all the sound was drowned out by the size of the hand holding me. I knew this wasn’t Gunner. The terror coursing through my veins was way more prominent this time. I lifted my legs and tried to kick around, but the man behind me effortlessly grabbed my wrists and jerked me around to still me. Then he pushed me onto the bed where I caught myself with my hands. I scrambled to sit up and see who was around me. My body was shaking so furiously that I kept sliding on the covers.
“Stay seated,” a voice warned. “Or you will die.”
My blood ran cold. I one hundred percent believed this ominous voice. I finally was at the edge of the bed and able to turn around. Around me were four men. All armed, tall and pierced. Except for one. I saw a tattoo on his calf. I still hadn’t been able to make eye contact with any of them. I kept my eyes down looking at me feet while my body continued to shake. What are they going to do to me? Help. I had never known terror like this. There were four of them. As if he had read my mind one of the older men began to speak. I was able to make eye contact with him and only him. I was met with a pair of narrow gray eyes, lightly gray hair and several piercings.
“Gunner will come up here in a minute. No need to fret. It will take him all of five or so minutes to realize something is wrong.”
“I’m slow.” I squeaked out. “He won’t know. What do you want with him?”
The man let out a crooked smile.
“You will see pet.”
“Don’t call me that,” my voice said, shaking.
The man let out a deep laugh but said nothing further. I wanted to look at the other men. I was completely physically able to do that. I mean I was just sitting at the edge of the bed with my feet on the floor, my hands in my lap and my head down. I couldn’t look though. If I looked and saw how scary they were I wouldn’t fight, and I needed to fight! I knew I was surrounded by men. I saw their feet around me, but I couldn’t just sit there and wait for them to play out whatever sick plan they had in their mind. They were patient, I knew that from what Gunner had told me, so they would wait for Gunner and I wouldn’t let Gunner get hurt because of my stupidity. Sam had already gotten hurt because of me. It was this thought that motivated me.
I grabbed the lamp next to me and threw it at the men by the door. They flew to the side as the lamp shattered. I quickly scrambled to the floor and tried to sneak out. I was almost at the door when a pair of hands painfully grabbed my short hair and jerked me back. It felt like my hair was being pulled from my scalp.
“Ow!” I cried as I was pulled to my feet. “Let me go!”
I tried to kick him but one more tug at my scalp semi stilled me and I was forced to look at the younger man. I knew he was the young man from the tattoo I saw on his calf when I was on the floor. The older men must have been the ones hurting Gunner all these years, this young guy was new. As my head was jerked back I looked in the eyes staring angrily at me and immediately recognized them. They were green, piercing green. He looked different, very different. His body was different, his hair was different, his skin was even different, but I would never forget those eyes. It was Tanner.
My body shut down, and Tanner felt it. I saw him smirk and he released me.
“Now go sit on the bed like a good girl.”
I immediately scrambled to the bed and sat the same as before. I couldn’t blink, move, think. I knew some of the other men were looking at Tanner in shock, because I heard him say something about us “having a little fun years ago”. That made my eyes sting with tears. My heart was going to explode.
Then I felt him. Gunner was here. Angry. Menacing, but calm as could be. In his element.
I looked up. His gaze was steady, trained on the me and the men surrounding me. His gun was held steady in front of him, and I knew he had a knife in his boot.
“We meet again,” Gunner said calmly, even though I knew his protective instincts were on full alert.
The man with the gray eyes took a step forward as the other two older men went to stand around him protectively. Tanner was keeping an eye on me.
“Gunner, I am so glad we can finally do this face to face.”
Gunner’s jaw ticked. He was so controlled, it astounded me. I’d be flipping my shit if I was in front of my parents’ killers… and I hated my parents.
“Let Dana go. She has nothing to do with this.”
He let his gaze flicker over to me. I tried to look strong, but I was so afraid. Then Gunner went back to the man with the gray eyes.
“I think she has a lot to with this,” the man said calmly as another one of the older men headed towards me. I whimpered and tried to scramble away on the bed, but Tanner rolled his eyes and grabbed my ankle pulling me back to the same spot I was before.
The older man then grabbed my neck and lifted me up to my feet. He didn’t squeeze but it was a warning to Gunner.
“Now,” the man with the gray eyes said, “You come with us, and we will let your little play thing go.”
“No Gunner I…” the man squeezed my throat and I coughed unable to talk anymore. I tried to grab the guy’s hand and pull him off, but I was too weak. Gunner’s grip tightened on his gun, but his voice remained calm and steady.
“Now we both know that’s not true. We work in the same business.”
The gray eyed man looked thoroughly amused by this.
“How could I forget? However, big and famous Gunner isn’t exactly known for his killing, is he? You’ve made a name in other ways.”
“I did yes. I don’t need to kill young girls to prove I'm capable,” Gunner said calmly. Taunting him.
“This is your third rescue mission in the past few months. You lost your spot with Tim because of it. That’s very unlike you, and I’d know. I’ve been, let’s say, keeping up with you since you were a b
oy. You hate everyone. What is it with this little blonde?” the older man asked as the guy holding me pushed me to my knees. I flipped my head up and looked at Gunner apologetically. He had warned me about all this. This was my fault. I hated myself so much.
“We knew you’d been meeting someone because you’d go places we couldn’t track you. We thought it was business but now I think it was this chick.”
He really did make sure I was safe this whole time. It’s a shame I’d only ever caused him trouble.
Gunner looked thoroughly and completely pissed off now. As if he wasn’t before, but his control was lessening.
“I have my reasons. Let her go.”
There was this moment of undecided tension before the first knife was thrown. I don’t know who threw it I just know there were weapons being thrown. I froze for a second before realizing I had to check on Gunner. I went to my stomach to try and avoid the flying knives. I looked up from my army crawl position. Gunner was fighting brutally, but it was still four against one. Gunner was holding his own though. He was winning.
