by Bry Ann
“Hey Alex.”
She turns to me looking a little tired.
“Yeah.”
“Tobias called.” Immediately all traces of tiredness and contentment are gone. In its place is fear, worry and focus.
“Anatoli woke up. Do you want to head straight to the hospital?”
“Hell yeah I do! Drive. Drive!”
“Geez woman. I’m going. I’m going.”
I start the car and start heading over. If she finds out I knew sooner she is totally going to kill me. The whole way over she drills me.
“What did Tobias say?”
“Is he okay?”
“Is he talking?”
“What did the doctor say?”
The only way I get her to shut up is by telling her I’ve never seen her care so much. She hates that and shuts her mouth. Only she would take that as an insult. When we finally pull up to the hospital the silence transitions from comfortable to tense.
“You okay?” I ask as we make our way up the elevator.
“Fine!” she snaps. Aka, not fine.
I keep my mouth shut after that. She’s in a mood and needs to deal with her spinning thoughts on her own. Sometimes we all need that. Besides, once she sees Anatoli is okay and Tobias won’t kill her she will probably calm down.
Hospitals are always awkward. They are cold and unfeeling. There’s an air of death and pain about them. That’s how it feels as we walk down to Anatoli’s room. We enter. Room 2701. Anatoli is sitting up talking with Tobias, who is pacing the floor. Before they see us they are at the tail end of a conversation involving food. So normal for what I now know to be two trained assassins.
“You have to freaking eat something,” Tobias snaps.
“Have you seen the food here? That is not happening. Go get me food and we can talk.” Anatoli’s low voice rings out. He looks like a giant in the hospital bed.
“I’m not going to the store for you,” Tobias spits out with disgust. Alex hits her hand on the doorknob by accident and both pairs of eyes flicker over to us. Anatoli looks at Alex softly, despite the fact she is back in that insane tank top. Tobias looks at me as if to confirm I took her out. I nod slightly at Tobias so he knows I did. He smirks. Alex does look a lot better than she did twenty-four hours ago. A lot more like herself. Tobias walks over to where Alex and Anatoli are sitting talking. I can tell by their body language Anatoli is trying to comfort Alex. To ease her guilt. The dude is an interesting mix of ruthless and caring. Tobias has a glimmer in his eye and I can tell he is in a mood to piss people off.
“You should have seen her yesterday Anatoli. She looked like a ten-year-old who was hours past her nap time.”
“Is that…”
Anatoli is cut off by Alex who is scowling at Tobias. “Coming from the guy who looked like he’d seen a ghost when his buddy got shot.”
Tobias' face turns murderous. I can tell Alex knows she pushed it, but she doesn’t care. “Watch it, Alex.”
Even I am intimidated by his tone, but Alex brushes it off. I notice she shuts up though. I glance over at Anatoli. He’s smirking.
“I’m touched you all care so much,” Anatoli teases, his eyes dancing with amusement.
Tobias looks away, stewing in his own brand of silent rage. Alex looks annoyed but turns back to Anatoli and her expression softens.
“Seriously, are you okay? Are there any side effects? Is there anything I can do?”
I smirk and look at Anatoli. ‘Welcome to my world’ I mouth. He smiles and turns back to Alex. He grabs her hand. She looks so tiny compared to him. It is clear why she was so easily overpowered years ago. We really should hate this guy for all he forced Alex to do. I’m not really sure why we don’t.
“I’ve been shot before Alex. You really need to relax about it. I won’t even be in the hospital for very long.”
“That was my bullet though. It was for me not you. How am I supposed to just relax?”
Tobias looks at her and shakes his head. I’m sure he is going through the thought process I have been through so many times. Why is the heck she being so nice right now? Is that really how she is? Yeah, she’s confusing as hell, and I can tell Tobias is used to being able to read people easily.
“Маленький, if that bullet hit you it would have killed you. I’m much taller and have a lot more cushion to take the blow from a bullet. It would have been глупый, stupid, for me to let you take it.”
“Still…”
“Oh Good Lord!” Tobias groans. “Get over it. Anatoli is a man. He can handle a bullet wound. Quit winding yourself up.”
Anatoli smirks at Tobias. He sees as well as I do that Tobias cares for Alex in his own twisted way. The only person who does not seem to be able to see that is Alex herself. She shoots Tobias a sharp look.
“Just because you have no heart for anyone doesn’t mean we all do Tobias!”
“I had no idea you had such a big heart Маленький,” he teases, and boy, does he know exactly what buttons to push.
Alex stands up so fast her chair flies back. “You sick little twat of a human being. You…”
Anatoli grabs her hand and tries to hold back his laughter. “Jesus you two. I have a bullet in my chest and you can’t even get along in the hospital room. I feel like an old man instead of a man in his early thirties around you two!”
Tobias and Alex give each other one last scowl and then they shut up. Alex takes her seat again. There is a long silence before Tobias rounds on me. I already know where this is going. It’s his other way of getting to Alex and by association me. I drop my head to my chest and groan. Fuck, he’s really gonna do this.
“Sorry to disturb you last night Rex. I just wanted to get the news to you as soon as possible.”
Tobias’s face breaks out in an evil smile. Alex’s gaze snaps over to me.
“What?”
“Oh, I just called Rex last night to let him know Anatoli was up. It was super early in the morning though. He sounded tired.”
“You knew?” Alex hisses. Out of the corner of my eye, I see Anatoli shoot Tobias a furious expression, but Tobias looks too proud of himself to notice.
How do I answer this without getting my head chewed off, and not sounding like a whiny little tattle tale and accusing Tobias? I'm not about to start a ‘he started it’ battle with this guy.
“I did know.”
“That’s all you have to say for yourself!” she stands up off her chair and glares at me.
“I…” Honestly, don’t know what to say. Alex walks over to the door and looks back at Anatoli.
“I’ll be back when I calm down.” She flicks out her cell phone. “Call me if you need me Anatoli.”
Then she walks out and slams the door.
I turn straight to Tobias. “That was low.”
He shrugs. “I played the cards I had.”
“You should have kept them to yourself!”
I am trying to keep my anger to myself because my anger gets out of control easily since Mia died. I shoot one last glare at him before walking out of the room. I am pretty sure Anatoli is going to give it to him worse than I ever could because Tobias actually gives a shit what Anatoli says.
I am dreading facing Alex again. That vanishes the second I walk out the door I see her with her arms crossed over chest. My mouth falls open. She looks disappointed, but she doesn’t look mad.
“Alex, I really thought I was doing the right thing and…”
“I heard Tobias talk. He baited you.”
“Well, he didn’t initially. Not when he called me. He genuinely wanted you to get out into the world. He just wanted to get you riled up in there because he lost y’alls childish argument.”
“Tobias doesn’t care if I get out Rex. He baited you.”
“I think you’re wrong sweetie.”
Alex rolls her eyes. “Whatever. I’ll let this one go because I do think you were baited, but don’t ever keep something like that from me again. Unders
tood? It will cause problems for us.”
I want to defend myself, but I choose to bite my tongue instead. “Got it.”
“Okay. Tobias is in a mood, so I am going to say goodbye to Anatoli before Tobias actually hurts somebody.”
With that, she pops into their room and quickly says bye. I wait outside. Why do I feel like these two complicated killers are just beginning to cause problems in our life?
I sigh. I had to fall in love with no doubt the most complicated, baggage-laden female in the universe.
Chapter 20 (Dana):
Gunner has pretty much fucked my brains out since being back. Not that I am complaining. I missed the big guy so much. I missed the way he treats me with strength but is uncharacteristically gentle when I need him to be. We just get each other, and I missed that. It’s so easy. Right now I am sitting on the couch with my legs on Gunner’s laps in a pair of oversized shorts and a t-shirt. Gunner is in his boxers drinking a protein shake, absentmindedly watching whatever crap we have on TV. Gunner tossed and turned all night long. I haven’t brought it up yet, but something is bothering him. I will have to bring it up eventually. Right now though, I’ll let us just hang. I laugh at some joke made on the TV. Gunner tickles my feet the second I start laughing. My laughter fills the room as Gunner playfully starts tickling my sides. The moment is so pure, so perfect, but is quickly broken up when my cell phone rings. I groan and push myself up to seated. Gunner and I are going back to Missouri today so I know it is probably Sam. I can't ignore it.
Gunner releases my leg and I slide off the couch. I pick up my phone with a frown. I realize it’s a Skype call. Curious. We’ve never skyped before. I click accept and Sam’s face appears on one side and Alex’s on the other.
“Hey, sunshine. Happy to have your boyfriend back?”
I laugh. It is so good to have Alex’s genuine sarcasm back.
“Just a little.” I blush. Sam shakes her head and laughs at me.
“Oh girl, yeah right.” They both laugh harder.
“How’s Logan?”
Sam’s face drops a little. “I really, really scared him. Logan’s is making me get so much therapy I won’t have time for anyone anymore. I had to agree though. I don’t want us to get divorced before we get married.”
I and Alex laugh. “You’re gonna be so fucking mature with all this therapy Sam,” Alex chides. I know she’s trying to break up the moment for Sam’s sake.
“Shut the fuck up Alex. Just because you have Rex wrapped around your fucking finger. Some of us actually have to listen to our men once in awhile.”
“I’m just lucky I guess,” Alex teases and winks at me.
“Y’all are crazy. I think it is a really good thing that Logan is having you seek help. I think it will be good for you.”
“What are you saying, Dana?” Sam asks with a sour face.
“How are you doing with everything?” I make my voice as soft as possible so she doesn’t bite my head off. I see Alex’s whole facade drop. She turns to look at Sam with curiosity and worry.
“I’m okay. Honestly. It was weird, like, he was actually fairly nice to me… given the fact that I was kidnapped. I was scared, but he never really hurt me. Like not on purpose, and the one time I did get hurt he had his guard, who turned out to be that guy Blaze, fix it.”
“Oh my gosh,” Alex laughs. “Did the evil Russian mobster have a crush on Sam?” Alex laughs harder, and I can’t help but let out a silent laugh too.
“Sam needs to teach a class on how to get powerful men to fall for you.”
“Oh haha, Alex.” Sam rolls her eyes. “I mean he still chained me to his bedpost.”
When she sees both of our eyes go wide, hers do too and she quickly jumps in.
“I was on the floor. He didn’t do anything!” she shouts in a panic.
We both relax. There is an awkward tension that follows. It’s Alex that speaks first, and she is unusually melancholy.
“Guys, I hate this shit, but I have to thank you for standing by me through everything… and not judging me and, um, putting up with my identity shift. You two are good people.”
“Alex you are awesome. We are here for you for whatever.”
Of course, Sam grins. “Of course girl. Alexa was a cold-hearted bitch. Alex is a big softie. I’ve loved the transition.”
“Listen here bitch! It’s a letter change. Nothing more. I’m still a bitch.”
“Sure you are. I appreciate your earlier sentiment and the fact that you are most definitely going to go snuggle with Rex after this call.”
“You know what…”
“Oh my God you guys! Are you really fighting over whether or are not you are bitches?”
They both laugh. I shake my head. Their nuts.
“So Sam, does Logan have anyone set on killing him? Anyone we should know about, or can we all just settle into our lives now?”
“Hey, I believe it’s your killer we have been dealing with lately missy.” That’s Sam, secretly coming to Logan’s defense without making it seem like she is.
“Yeah. After yours, then Gunner’s. Just checking to make sure no one else in the group’s life will be at risk in the near future.”
“Kind of mine twice. Both instances were my fault.” I wince. Sam shoots me a hard glare over skype. She hates when I feel guilty.
“Well, to answer your question Logan has no one out to get him but crazed fans and he’s got security for that.”
“That’s good, but they haven’t done us a lot of good so far.”
Sam scowls at Alex. “Watch it.”
Alex winces. “I’m sorry. I genuinely forgot Sam.”
Sam nods, but the pain is still in her eyes. Something that really haunts Sam to this day is the death of the security guards the day Tim kidnapped her. She won’t let me tell her it’s way more my fault than hers. She carries a lot of the guilt. She still helps their families in any way she can. She’s referred them to groups, helped them financially, she visits with them. She won’t tolerate anyone saying anything about Logan’s security since that day. Alex and Sam have some side argument that I am not really paying attention to. Eventually, I find myself bored and check out.
“Well, I’m gonna go, guys.”
“Okay go hug your man for me. Tell him I owe him one.”
“I will.” I smile.
“We’ll keep in touch, right? I’m the only one being left behind in Nashville. You both are going off with your men in Missouri of all places.”
She says it kidding, but I see the pain and worry in her eyes. Sam didn’t have friends before us. This has got to be hard for her.
“Promise,” I say.
We all hang up. I spend a solid minute just staring at my phone and smiling. I love them.
“You know a lot of your friends ‘owe me’.”
I jump and spin around. I totally did not realize I was having that whole conversation in the dining room, which is freaking attached to the kitchen.
“Sam has said that to me twice now.”
I roll my eyes, noticing Gunner’s smug expression and cocky posture. He laughs to himself and softens.
“Sounded like an intense conversation.”
“Yeah,” I run my hand through my hair, “I didn’t mean for you to hear all that.”
“Do you see what I mean about the difference between you, Sam and Alex? There’s a huge difference in hardness and heart.”
I throw Gunner ‘the look’.
“I’m not saying anything bad about them, Dana.”
I continued glaring at him. He laughs and extends his arm.
“Come here, babe.”
I don’t hesitate. I run over and tuck myself into his side. I rest my head on his shoulder as he holds me.
“Thank you,” I say softly.
He spins me around and looks at me confused. “For what?”
“My friends. Years ago I told you if you cared about me you would save my friend. You’ve done that on multiple occasions
and I…” Oh crap, here comes the tears. I try and wipe them away but Gunner grabs my hand. He keeps up his intense, seemingly soul-searching stare. I sniffle.
“You just really, really care. You don’t pick one or the other. You take action, but are there for me too when I need you.” I really start to cry. Gunner pulls me into his chest and holds me. It’s strong, but not overbearing. He is just... there. When I pull away I left out a muffled laugh.
“Sorry.” I wipe the snot from my face with the back of my hand. “I don’t know why I got so emotional and weird. This is why you can’t do these criminal jobs. I can’t handle it.”
We both laugh. “You know, if I ever had any doubt about that I realized it when I saw the hot chocolate bar you created for yourself in our kitchen.”
I bust at laughing. He gives me a rare, but genuine smile.
“Besides it’s nice being missed.”
He says it so quiet I can barely hear him, but I do. I look down at my feet and pretend not to have heard though. I don’t want to embarrass him. It would ruin the sweet moment because he would go all bossy and serious on me again. Not that I mind that, but this is nice.
“Hey, Gunner?” I ask when I am tucked back into his side. He grunts a response. “Last night… ” I feel his body stiffen beside me, so I pull away again and face him. “What’s bothering you?”
He pulls away from me fully and gives me a hard look. “Nothing Dana!”
“Don’t lie to me, Gunner! I know you, and since I know you I know that you usually sleep still as a rock, but are the lightest sleeper known to man. Last night you tossed and turned all night, were mumbling in your sleep and no matter what I did I couldn’t wake you. Go ahead. Tell me I’m wrong. I dare you! You won’t though because I’m right. What happened that has you so troubled? Tell me. It’s just me. You don’t have to be all criminal superstar with me. It’s how we’ve stayed friends. Now talk.” I put my hands on my hips for emphasis.
Gunner shoots up and shakes his head. “You don’t need to know everything.”
“No, but how am I supposed to help you when your enemy is your own mind, huh? You have to tell me what’s on your mind, because I love you, and I can’t help you if I don’t know. You have to. I will make you.”
