Hell on Heels Christmas

by A. P. Jensen

  The temperature dropped after Johnny’s departure and before she knew it, Thanksgiving came in a flurry of preparation. Regan watched the shop for three days while Valerie and Paula got ready for their annual Thanksgiving feast. Regan sat on a stool behind the counter in the shop with her laptop in front of her, selling items steadily online while she had less than five customers come in daily. She had no idea how the shop was still running at all.

  As she swung her legs and looked out through the front window of the shop she smiled. Christmas tunes were already playing on the radio and although the wind whipped fiercely through town she was snug as a bug, wrapped in the smell of cranberry candles and sugar cookies. She was waiting until Thanksgiving to give her mom her first check from her online sales. If the website continued to do well maybe Valerie and Paula wouldn’t need to pay for their shop. They could stay at home and run their business from a computer.

  Regan closed the shop and walked the same route her mother did every day. It felt strange to literally walk in her mom’s shoes but she felt as if she was making a difference in White Mist and in her mom’s life. She was in a relationship with Brooks and they didn’t talk about the past or the future. They existed only in the present and Regan liked it that way. No pressure, just companionship and pleasure. She lifted her face up to the wind as it swirled around her. She slid her hands deep into her pockets and closed her eyes as she walked. She was… dare she say it? Content. Is this what it felt like? She didn’t feel the need to have everything figured out. She could exist as she was and let time pass her by. She would help her mom with her business, have amazing nights with Brooks and enjoy the holidays. She had a play to go to tonight that Luke and Angel were in. Who would’ve thought she could blend into this life? She approached her mom’s house and paused when she saw the Jeep parked at the curb. As she approached the driver’s door opened and a man stepped out. Regan let out a scream and ran to him.

  “Jean-Charles!”

  She leapt into his arms and he swung her around. He set her down and they looked at each other. Jean-Charles had a long nose with deep blue eyes and wide lips. He had a naturally arrogant look he wore very well. He was dressed casually in jeans and a trench and she was so happy to see him she had tears in her eyes.

  “You’re finally here! Why didn’t you call me?”

  He brushed her hair back from her face. “I wanted to surprise you. How are you?”

  “Oh. You know, my usual.”

  He took in the simple neighborhood and the casual way she was dressed. “That so? I gotta say, when Johnny told me you seemed happy in a small town I thought he was lying.”

  “I promised I’d stay for the holidays.” She kept saying it so panic wouldn’t engulf her. She wasn’t committing to a life here, just two months and she was free to do whatever she wanted after that. “My niece and nephew are in this play and I promised I would go. Want to come? How long are you going to stay?”

  He blinked. “I’m not sure.”

  “You have to stay for Thanksgiving. My mom’s making enough for an army.”

  JC paused and considered her in silence for several seconds. “You’ve changed.”

  “In a bad way?”

  He smiled. “No. You going corporate was a shock. I liked your hippy, free bird ways. This is somewhere in between.” He jerked his head at his car. “By the way, Daniel’s assistants put a ridiculous amount of shoes and clothes in my trunk.”

  “God, I’ve missed you!”

  JC was the only constant in her life for the past ten years. Within days of reaching Europe he’d swept her under his wing and been in the background ever since. He traveled the world to do exotic photo shoots but he always came back to her. As time passed they saw less of each other but they always reconnected at some point. Seeing him here in White Mist made everything seem so right. He smiled at her as if he could read her thoughts.

  JC grasped her face and kissed her on the mouth. “I love you.”

  Regan was suddenly wrenched out of JC’s hold and thrust behind a broad back covered in a familiar worn leather jacket. She grasped the back of Brooks’ jacket in both hands as he started for Jean-Charles.

  “Brooks, no! He’s a friend.”

  Brooks wasn’t listening. Jean-Charles was staring at Brooks with his head cocked to the side, not the least bit concerned that a guy that outweighed him by eighty pounds of muscle was coming straight at him.

  “Brooks? This is the guy you left behind?” Jean-Charles said tactlessly.

  Regan dodged between the two men and faced Brooks. She held up a hand and saw that Brooks’ eyes were flat and dangerous and his hands were clenched into fists at his sides.

  “She left but she’s back and she’s not going anywhere so you can go back to wherever you came from,” Brooks told Jean-Charles.

  “He’s a friend,” Regan repeated.

  Brooks looked at her and her spine straightened. She knew he would never hurt her but the look on his face was intimidating enough to make her want to back off- slowly. She didn’t. She hadn’t clawed her way to the top by backing down from a fight.

  “He said he loves you.”

  Brooks’ voice was so gritty Regan could barely understand him.

  “Because we’re friends,” Regan said, using her fingers for air quotes.

  Brooks’ eyes flicked to Jean-Charles. “You never slept together?”

  “We used to,” Jean-Charles began and let out a shout when Regan stomped on his foot.

  Brooks started to push her to the side again so she jumped on him, wrapping her legs around his waist and her arms around his neck. He paused.

  “He’s just a friend,” she said.

  He stared at her, face set in hard lines. For a moment she thought he was going to push her away but then he leaned forward and kissed her. She smiled against his lips and enthusiastically joined in. One of his hands gripped her ass while the other slid into her hair and gripped, tilting her head to the side. She didn’t hold anything back and felt him relax. When they parted his eyes were heavy lidded with lust. He turned away from Jean-Charles and walked away with her in his arms.

  “Where are you taking her?” Jean-Charles yelled.

  Brooks didn’t answer. Regan waved at Jean-Charles over his shoulder to reassure him that Brooks wasn’t crazy. When Regan tried to push off Brooks so she could walk he growled and tightened his hold. Neighbors stared and several women giggled as Brooks walked past with her in his arms. Regan smiled reassuringly until her face felt like it might crack.

  “Where’s your truck?” she asked quietly.

  “I walked,” he snapped. “I thought it might be nice for us to walk home together.”

  She mentally paused over his use of “home.” She spent almost every night with him but she still considered Valerie’s house her home. Some nights she took a stand and stayed at her mom’s house so she could work on the website. Brooks wasn’t happy when she sent him away and always insisted on recompense when she came over the following night. She refused to move her things to his house because it seemed too much like moving in and she wouldn’t do that.

  “People are going to talk,” Regan hissed.

  “I don’t care.”

  She ran a hand down his face. He wouldn’t even look at her as he marched back to his house with her as if she was a naughty child. She didn’t know what to think about what just happened between Brooks and JC. Of course if she caught Brooks with Allison she would want to kick her ass so she couldn’t fault Brooks for the way he was acting now though she did think him carrying her off was a tad bit much.

  He walked up the steps to his house and kicked the door shut with his boot. He set her down and briskly stripped off her coat and boots before boosting her over his shoulder and walking up the stairs to his bedroom. Despite her curses he didn’t break his stride until he dumped her on his bed. Before she could get up he unbuttoned her jeans and pulled off her top.

  “Brooks-” she began but his lips silence
d her.

  She heard him unzip his jeans and then he pushed into her. She gasped and threw her head back, reveling in the feel of him. She moved against him and realized he was fully dressed while she was naked. She opened her eyes and stilled beneath him.

  “I saw you kiss him and I wanted to kill him,” he said.

  “Jean-Charles is European,” she said and tried to arch against him but he used his weight to pin her.

  He cupped her face with a shaking hand. “No more kissing.”

  “That’s how he is!”

  She thumped his shoulder as frustration got in the way of their sex session. Did he have to talk about this when he was inside her?

  “You don’t understand. I almost ripped his head off. He said he loves you.”

  “He’s my best friend.”

  She gasped when he bounced on her, a punishing thrust that sent shockwaves of pleasure through her. She dug her nails into his shoulders and leaned up to bite his lip.

  “Brooks, he is just a friend. He’s not the one in me,” she said pointedly.

  His eyes burned. “He knows how this feels though.” His voice was hoarse with ecstasy and jealousy.

  “Jean-Charles and I dated but we’re better off as friends. That’s it. Now, are you going to finish what you started?”

  His eyes glinted a moment before he pulled out of her and flipped her onto her stomach and slid in again. Regan moaned and grasped handfuls of the bed sheets. He buried his face in her hair, warm breath fanning her cheek.

  “I can’t let myself think about the others. It kills me,” he whispered.

  Regan turned her head. “I’m here now.”

  He thrust. “You’ll stay where you are if I have anything to say about it.”

  Regan cried out and her forehead touched the bedspread. This position left her completely open to him and he took full advantage. She found herself pushing back against him and his groan of pleasure made her smile. When she felt herself getting close she tightened. In tune with her body to a ridiculous degree, Brooks flipped her onto her back again and kissed her as she came. She screamed into his mouth and he groaned into hers. He slumped on top of her and she ran her foot up and down his jean covered legs. She played with his hair until their breathing calmed. He kissed her neck and raised himself enough to meet her drowsy eyes.

  “I love you, Regan. I always have.”

  Regan stopped breathing. His mouth quirked and he kissed her still lips and brushed back sweaty strands of her hair.

  “So when I say I can’t stand seeing you kiss someone I mean it. I just got you back and I can’t listen to someone else say they love you. No one loves you as much as I do.” When he got no reaction from her he continued. “These past couple of weeks is exactly how I imagined it would always be between us.”

  She swallowed hard and still didn’t speak. He moved and she was still sensitive so she gasped and clutched his shoulders, trying to keep him still.

  “I said I wouldn’t propose this time.”

  Regan choked and shoved at him. Brooks slid out of her, stood and zipped his jeans.

  “You can’t do this to me again,” Regan wheezed. “You promised!”

  “Where’d you think this was going?”

  Moody eyes flowed over her and it made her squirm. He was so intense, serious and focused on her.

  “I told you I’d try and I am. That’s it. I said I’d stay for the holidays but I never promised beyond that.”

  “Damn it Regan, what do you feel? You’re so busy keeping your damn boundaries up that you refuse to let what’s happening between us go any further than sex.”

  She glared at him. “I’ve given you everything I have. I agreed to stay until the New Year and we’re together all the time-”

  He turned away from her and ran his hands through his hair. “I can’t be with you and not feel like this. I feel like I have to pin you down. You’re always trying to escape. What the hell is wrong with me?”

  Her heart thumped painfully. She got up and went to him and wrapped her arms around him. He tensed but didn’t push her away. His honesty was beautiful and terrifying. Brooks made her feel what no one else could but he was right in sensing she always held back. How could she explain that she wasn’t sure if she could settle down and commit without becoming restless and feeling trapped?

  “There’s nothing wrong with you. There never was. It’s always been me. Why do you think I tried to stay the hell away from you?” she whispered into his broad back.

  He sighed and they stayed that way for several minutes. She knew he was waiting for more words from her, a declaration similar to his own but uncertainty and fear kept her mouth shut.

  “You were ready to come home, Regan.”

  She tried to stop the claustrophobia. “So? I wanted to come home. What’s the big deal?”

  “You know what this town is like. You know the people here and you know what goes with coming home. There’s nothing fancy out here. It’s basic and that’s what you came home for. Maybe you never admitted it to yourself but you came back for family. You spend your time at the shop or here with me and you’re fine. You aren’t itching to jump on a plane so why do you think you can’t stay here?”

  “I’ve haven’t stayed in one place longer than a year for a decade. I’ve been back for a little over a month and you want a commitment. I can’t do that, Brooks.”

  Brooks turned and she saw the pain on his face. She felt like an ass because he was great and she was… not. He was the guy women dreamed about, herself included but was what she felt for him enough to sustain them or would panic come in the middle of the night? Would these feelings between them last or would they fade as they had for the other men she’d been with? Though she wanted to deny it she was just like her father. He settled in White Mist for a time but after having three kids and a wife the panic and restlessness hit him so hard he took off one morning and never returned.

  “Has it been like this with anyone else?” he asked gruffly.

  She knew her next words would commit her to him so she said nothing. Brooks’ eyes gleamed.

  “It’s the same for you,” he accused.

  She didn’t answer but he didn’t need one. He gathered her naked body against him and just held her. She felt tears prick her eyes. This guy was too good for her. He always had been.

  “I want you more than I ever wanted anything else in life,” he murmured.

  The simple statement made her eyes prick with tears. “Brooks, don’t.”

  Calloused hands ran up and down her sides, exciting her more than any of the well cared for, manicured hands of the men she dated in the past. His hands were large, firm and warm and they had the same effect as licking her core.

  “You ruined me for anyone else.”

  She took the plunge. “It wasn’t like this with Allison?”

  His hands dropped from her and he took a step back. “No.”

  One mention of his ex-wife and he shut down completely. Even though it should have been impossible considering all he just said jealousy washed over her. She hadn’t married Jean-Charles. She dated him, slept with him and loved him as a friend but she’d never gone as far as Brooks had and married the guy. All of a sudden she had the irrational urge to go down to Allison’s house and challenge her to a fight which would be pointless considering she now had kids with another man and was obviously happy and content with her brood. Regan didn’t care. Brooks claimed she was the only woman for him yet he’d made another woman his wife and shared things with Allison that Regan would never experience with him.

  She gathered her clothes and ducked into the bathroom, slamming it behind her. She was going to make herself decent for her walk of shame back to her mom’s house. Even if she came out dressed in a prom dress, not for a moment would anyone misinterpret what she and Brooks had just done. She struggled with his comb in her thick hair. How did men manage with only a comb? She brushed her teeth and cleaned herself before dressing in hurried, angry mo
vements, nearly spraining her toe as she jammed her foot through the leg of her jeans.

  When she opened the bathroom door she was surprised to find the room empty. Whatever. She walked down the stairs and when she found no sign of Brooks she wanted to punch a hole in his wall. That asshole. She turned to the coat holder and found it empty. She frowned. Even her boots were gone. Had Brooks kicked them somewhere? She bent down to look under a beautiful set of drawers in the entrance and found nothing.

  “Need something?”

  She raised her head and saw Brooks standing barefoot in his jeans and shirt. She narrowed her eyes and got to her feet.

  “Where’s my coat and boots?” she demanded.

  She stomped her foot as frustration and hurt slithered through her veins. This was why she shouldn’t sleep with him. He made her feel like the teenager she kept telling herself she wasn’t. She slept with this guy who threw around dangerous words like “marriage” and “home” like it was normal. In turn, the refined businesswoman she thought she was turned into a raving mad, jealous lunatic. Since she left White Mist she was always in control of her emotions and the moment someone tried to put chains on her she broke it off. She looked at Brooks and knew she couldn’t do it which made her even more agitated.

  “Why are you so pissed?” he asked.

  “I’m not!” she bellowed. “Where did you hide my shit?”

  His mouth twitched. “I don’t think you should go yet.”

  She stomped over to him and wagged a finger in his face. “Look here buddy,” she spat. “You don’t get a say in my life. I can do whatever the hell I want and if I want to leave I will whether or not you think I should.”

  She marched to the door and he called, “You’re going to walk in the snow all the way back to your mom’s house?”