by L. J. Dee
“I understand, Jess, but now I know about him, I can’t just pretend he doesn’t exist,” he said as I shook my head.
“The thing is, Lucas, I don’t think you do understand. I’ve been judged my whole life for having a child so young; the looks, the catty comments, the assumptions that I’m some kind of dirty little slut. I had the hardest time when Dex was born and things have only just started to get easier and go well for me. I won’t risk him being hurt. You can tear up that contract and walk out of my life whenever you feel like it and however hard that is I will cope. He wouldn’t,” I said, unable to stave off the soft tears that began to roll down my cheeks as he regarded me intently.
“Tell me about it. I want to know everything,” he said as I swallowed hard. “Secrets are a two way thing,” I said looking up at him as he nodded and for the first time since the restaurant I started to relax as he protected me tightly in strong arms.
“I had a boyfriend at high school. We kind of met on the first day. He was a second year and put in charge of showing a group of us around the school. We were both misfits. Mum tried her best, but she was really ill and we struggled for money. My dad had left after I was born. They were too young and he couldn’t cope and Jakes dad was an alcoholic. Chas was loud, always fighting and in trouble, but I was quiet and so was Jake. We found solace in one another’s friendship and we really loved each other,” I said as he stroked my hair gently.
“I wanted to cement things earlier, but Jake said we should wait until I was legal. I don’t think it was anything to do with the law, but mums cancer had come back. I was nursing her at home and Chas was doing whatever she could to try and bring some money into the house. It was hard and he thought I had enough to worry about without complicating things with sex. On my sixteenth birthday I pretty much insisted,” I smiled at the bitter sweet memory.
Jake still had concerns that he didn’t want to go there until I was completely ready, even though I’d been ready for months. He’d been unusual that way. Chas had told me horrifying stories about the teenage lads who pursued her, and described in graphic detail how they could barely say hello before they were trying to shove their hands up her school shirt or down her P.E. knickers.
“We couldn’t go anywhere, mum was pretty much bedbound and in constant pain by then and Chas was out working. The nurses came to give mum her pain meds and when she was sleeping we crept up to my room and did it,” I said, flushing gently.
“It wasn’t particularly romantic, but it meant a lot to me. The first time lasted only seconds, the next time was a little better,” I laughed softly as he chuckled knowingly. It made me smile to think of Lucas losing his virginity with two pumps and a squirt; it was difficult to imagine that of the sexual powerhouse who was holding me now.
“What happened next?” he asked, holding me tightly as I took a deep breath. It was never an easy thing for me to talk about and I rarely discussed it.
“Jake had restored an old motorbike. I hated it. I always had a bad feeling about it, but from the day he turned seventeen he was determined to ride it. He convinced me he was careful and from what I knew of Jake he would be. He’d come round to my house on it that night. After I waved him off I checked on mum, hid the condoms in the bin outside so no one would find them and I heard the ambulances and police cars. I could see the blue lights in the distance and I’ll never forget the feeling to this day. It was as if I knew, like someone had ripped out my soul. I convinced myself it wouldn’t be Jake and went inside until Chas came rushing in. She’d been working at the pub on the high street, collecting glasses, and word had spread like wildfire about how a car had lost control and hit a motorcyclist. He’d been pronounced dead at the scene. I’ll never forget her face as she told me he was gone,” I said, trying to stem the tears that always formed when I recalled those terrible memories.
Lucas stayed quiet, silently stroking my hair and encouraging me to continue and the gesture was comforting. I rested my head on his chest and he enveloped me tighter in those strong protective arms.
“I went to the hospital. I needed to see him, but I wasn’t allowed. His father was horrific to me. He blamed me for Jake being here that night, told me it was my fault he was dead and wouldn’t even let me go to the funeral. I used to wait until my mother was asleep and then I’d climb the old stone wall of the local church and sit by his grave every night. The next few weeks were a blur. I was grieving for my soul mate and utterly lost, nursing my mother 24/7, missing school, not eating, not sleeping. I was a mess, Lucas.” He pulled me tightly against his chest and I tried to calm myself against the gentle beating of his heart. It was a long time since I’d spoken about this to anyone.
“Four weeks after Jake, my mother passed away. Chas moved to London to try and earn enough money to keep me in the house, and I spent my time avoiding the authorities who were determined to put me into care. In the end I packed a bag and fled, sleeping on Chas’s floor. I was constantly vomiting and she forced me to the doctor in the end. With everything that had gone on, it hadn’t even crossed my mind I might be pregnant. I just thought I was exhausted and grief stricken. It was a huge shock, Lucas. We’d used condoms, but obviously not properly because they didn’t work. There was nothing I could do but try and get myself in shape and look after the little piece of Jake that was growing inside me. There was no way I was telling his father or anyone else, and stayed with Chas. The doctor assigned me a midwife and she was really kind. She helped to get a small flat for me and the baby and showed me how to apply for some benefits. Chas got the job at Elite and eventually, when Dex was six months old, she got me one. There was a girl in a similar position to me in the tower block and I had her baby through the day while she looked after Dex at night. It meant we could both hold down a job without the childcare costs. It was a horrible place, but it was ours and we did okay there until he was four,” I said as he sighed softly.
“I wish I’d have known you then, Jess,” he said gently, still stroking my hair fondly as I laughed.
“I doubt you’d have looked at me twice, Lucas,” I smiled, raising my eyebrows as he frowned deeply.
“Anyway, about a year ago, Dex was in the playground and it was littered with hypodermic needles from all the drug addicts in the block and I knew I had to get out. It took a good few months, but eventually Chas got me the job at Capitol and found us a place together. She saved us, Lucas.”
“Then I came along and acted unforgivably,” he said, tipping my chin to kiss my mouth gently as I smiled up at him.
“Something like that,” I said as he shook his head.
“Thank you for telling me,” he smiled, kissing my forehead and holding me tightly.
“If there is anything else, Jess, you need to tell me now. I don’t react well to lies,” he said firmly as I shook my head.
“Now it’s your turn. Tell me about Roberta,” I said as he scowled at me and I knew it wasn’t somewhere he wanted to go.
“I’d rather not,” he said, rising and pouring himself a large brandy, turning to me and asking silently if I wanted one as I shook my head.
I wanted one thing and that was to know what had happened with the damn ex-fiancée. “And I’d rather you hadn’t barged unsolicited into my birthday party and found out I was the mother of a five year old boy. Shit happens, Lucas,” I said, raising my eyebrows as he smirked, no doubt in response to my pissy attitude. It wasn’t good sub behaviour, but we’d barely got off the blocks with that and I wasn’t sure we’d be proceeding anyway. He had seconds or it was about to get worse.
“You seem to forget who is in control here, Jessica,” he said as I raised my eyebrows.
“You seem to forget we’re not at the club,” I replied sharply as he pulled me onto his lap, sighing deeply.
“We were casual. She told me she was pregnant so I tried to do the right thing. I didn’t love her and the pregnancy was a trap, a lie to keep me. When I found out I ended it,” he said firmly. It was certainly the short vers
ion but it told me everything I needed to know.
“It makes sense why your birthday is a hard time for you,” he frowned, changing the subject as I nodded.
“It’s tricky. It holds happy memories of my time with Jake and we made Dex, yet it was the most excruciatingly painful night I have ever had to endure.”
“Can I rescue tonight, or is it too late?” he asked as I smiled up at him.
“You already did, Lucas,” I said, resting my head closer against his chest.
“Then the least I can do is give you your present,” he smiled, pulling a square box from his trouser pocket and pressing it into my palm.
“What is it?” I squealed excitedly, popping open the lid, dazzled by the beautiful rocks nestled in the soft fabric, shining and glinting in the low lights of the apartment.
“Are they real?” I gasped as he nodded, removing the diamond earrings from the box and putting them in, sweeping my hair behind my ears. “Oh my God, thank you. They’re beautiful,” I gushed as he pulled me against him, kissing me relentlessly as I giggled and squirmed in his lap, eager that we seal the deal with another of Lucas’s wonderful gifts.
“Now, there is the small matter of your attitude,” he said as I bit my lip, looking up into his darkening eyes.
“But it’s my birthday,” I pouted as he grabbed me, picking me up and carrying me through to what I assumed was Lucas’s bedroom. My eyes wandered slowly across the tasteful and beautiful decor in the low lit room, dotted with classic portraits of the female form that were Botticelli-esque in nature and a far cry from what I imagined to find.
“I like your room,” I smiled as he laid me on the bed, taking his time to undress me slowly, pulling out a black blindfold from his bedroom drawer as I stared at him wide-eyed.
“Tonight I want to see if we can answer some of those things you couldn’t on the questionnaire,” he said, bending to kiss my mouth before popping the blindfold over me. “I want to blind you to heighten your other senses. I want you to concentrate on how your body reacts, which sensations you like and those you don’t,” he said. I swallowed hard wondering what on earth was coming, flinching as I heard the striking of a match and the acrid smell of sulphur wafting through the air.
I could hear his footsteps and he was gone for a few moments as I tried to adjust to the unfamiliar sensations that were firing through my body –fear, anticipation, excitement and desire for Lucas, the feel of his body, the taste and the smell of his hot, hard skin against mine as I heard the soft footsteps padding across the carpet towards me.
“I do trust you, Lucas, but will any of this hurt?” I asked as he bent to kiss my lips.
“Maybe. It depends how sensitive you are to pain,” he said as my heart raced in anticipation. I could hear the smile in his voice, tensing before he ran his fingers softly over my shivering skin and I moaned out loud, gasping as burning stings landed in soft hot drops across my tender stomach, spreading and hardening immediately.
It was a strange sensation, a hot sharpness, fleeting and so momentary it was strange rather than painful, unusual and uncomfortable rather than unpleasant, like being flicked with a heated rubber band. He waited a moment to judge my response. “Good girl,” he whispered, brushing his lips against mine as I relished the praise, relaxing into the cool sheets.
Suddenly droplets landed across my nipples as I gasped loudly, feeling them peak into hard buds in an immediate response. I liked it there. He moaned loudly, kneading my breasts roughly as I writhed beneath him, waiting for the hot droplets when I felt the sharp sting of freezing cold ice.
The sensations sent a shudder radiating through my body that I felt in my groin, reacting to the extremes of temperature as he traced the cube across my breasts, droplets of water running down the curves and pooling in the bedding at my sides. “Hot or cold?” he asked and I knew which one I preferred, the momentary sting of the hot wax over the chill of the ice that remained for far too long.
“Hot,” I whispered as more droplets fell, followed by firm, soft kisses tracing from my breasts to my stomach and down between my legs .The wax hit the fleshy spot on my upper thighs and I cried out loud. God that was sensitive. It hurt more there than it did on my breasts, but it was fleeting and manageable, leaving a warmth behind that felt divine.
I felt the ice along my soft folds, crying out loud as it hit my clit. I used my hands to push it away as Lucas laughed gently, easing the burning freeze with the heat of his tongue and firing every nerve to life beneath his touch. I was torn, wanting to push away against the cold, but loving the hot feel of his skilful mouth lapping at my nerve endings as a million messages surged through my brain.
“Lucas,” I gasped as the cold ice moved across the soft folds of my pussy, freezing them in an unpleasant numbing sensation before his tongue moved down a fraction at a time. I was desperate for him to continue as he kissed his way back up my body, lifting the blindfold as my eyes adjusted to the light, looking down at my body covered in the hardened remnants of the soft wax as he smiled broadly.
“You don’t like the cold,” he said as I smiled up at him, shaking my head. “Then we’ll save that for punishment,” he chuckled gently, removing the wax from my nipples, sucking them hard as I pushed myself further into the mattress, eager for release and wet for his touch.
He played with me for an age, taking me to the brink, only to stop and begin teasing another part of my body until I was desperate to feel him inside me. “Please, Lucas,” I begged, running my fingers across that hot hard body.
His erection was solid, his self control infuriating as I ground beneath him, eager for more as he pressed the pad of his finger gently on my clit, teasing my nerve cells into overdrive as I ground myself against him. “Be patient,” he demanded, kissing me deeply and it was all I could do not to cry out in blissful frustration.
“Orgasm denial was in that contract, I saw it,” I snapped as he laughed gently.
“Believe me, sweetheart, you’ll know when I’m denying you,” he said, twirling his tongue against my nipples, biting them lightly in a touch that ran like a hotwire to my sensitive pussy and I cried out loud.
“Very well, since it’s your birthday,” he smiled, lifting my leg over his shoulder rubbing the hard length of his cock against my soaking soft folds, rolling the condom over his gorgeous cock as I drank in every inch. I was gasping and pleading, desperate for release as he plunged into me with such hot powerful force that it drove the very breath from my body.
He fucked me over and over, hard and deep, stimulating my G-spot and my clitoris until I was drowning in pleasure, sensitive cells bombarding my brain with gratification as my whole being was consumed with the feelings Lucas was unleashing. If my body was an instrument, he was playing it expertly, no nerve escaping his mouth his fingers or his beautiful cock as I lay back, unable to stifle my cries and moans.
“Come for me, baby,” he growled, unleashing the waves in my centre, deeper and more powerful than ever before. It was like he’d ignited an electrical circuit from my insides, touching my nipples and every pleasure spot on my body, white lights appearing behind my eyes, toes curling as I felt a sudden gush from my insides, revelling in the look of pure pride on Lucas’s face.
If I hadn’t been so warm, so sated, so doused in pleasure, I would have been mortified, watching as he stilled. “Fuck baby, I’m coming,” he shouted, stilling and shuddering, looking into my eyes as he filled me, and I cried out again before he collapsed on top of me, breathless and holding me tight.
Minutes passed as he stayed inside me, connected in the wetness that seeped between us, running onto the sheets between our legs as he pulled out, grinning broadly at my flushed face.
“I’m sorry,” I said, as the warmth of embarrassment heated my cheeks. “What for?” he asked, frowning as I buried my head in his chest. “I think I peed a bit,” I whispered as he laughed, shaking his head.
“You didn’t pee, baby, you squirted and believe me it felt fucking i
ncredible.” I stared at him wide eyed and wishing I was more experienced in this whole thing.
“I did what?” I asked as he rolled back on top of me, kissing my neck.
“I wanted to get you really worked up to see if you could,” he smiled. “When you’re incredibly aroused, the sponge walls of the vagina soak up liquid and it can overflow into the urethra. When you come it squirts out like a male ejaculation. It’s really fucking hot,” he grinned as I started to giggle.
“It felt it,” I smiled shyly, wondering why the hell I was embarrassed, I would certainly like to feel it again.
“Do you need to go home and see Dexter tonight, or will you stay?” he asked as I cuddled up against him. I was so warm, so sated and so cosy that I didn’t want to go anywhere. Staying the night with Lucas would be a rare treat and I may never get the opportunity again.
“Chas said she’d have him, but I better call her and check,” I said as he jumped out of bed, retrieving my bag from the living room, climbing under the covers and pulling me against his glorious naked form as I snuggled in tight and dialled my sister.
“I hope that fucking dickwad apologised,” she said before I’d even had the chance to speak. Lucas grabbed the phone.
“I did, Chastity. Thank you for your help this evening and please stop calling me a dickwad,” he grinned, winking at me and passing back the phone as I laughed.
“Is it alright if I stay?” I asked as she sighed down the line.
“It’s fine by me as long as you think it’s the right thing for you. Charlie swears he’s a good guy, but I’m yet to be totally convinced,” she said as I looked up at Lucas who’d clearly overheard.
“What’s the deal with you and Charlie?” I asked and I could hear her smiling down the line.
