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Fire and Fantasy: a Limited Edition Collection of Epic and Urban Fantasy

Page 355

by CK Dawn


  She lifted the cup and took a drink, hoping it would fortify her to tell the rest of her story. Lilja placed the cup in her lap and met Hayjen’s concerned eyes. “I never saw it coming. I became very tired during dinner and retired early to my room. The next moment, I was strapped to an odd table in a room made of material I’d never seen before. Healers came and went, poking me with sharp needles and making me drink different concoctions. I asked many questions but no one would answer me.

  “One day the warlord visited me. He looked the same as ever and yet there was this glint in his eyes that made the hair on my arms stand up.” Lilja shivered, but continued. “I asked why he had imprisoned me. Do you know what his answer was?”

  Hayjen shook his head no.

  “That animals deserved to be chained.”

  Hayjen cursed.

  “That was my reaction, too. He laughed at me and said that despite my disgusting heritage, I would change the world just like I wanted to. A very large warrior entered at that point and stood in the corner, watching the spectacle.” She paused to gather her thoughts, ignoring the sick feeling churning in her gut. “After the Nagalian purge, many Scythians were wiped out in the aftermath of the war. Because of their ideals, they kept experimenting with their people. Striving for perfection.”

  “That’s what caused the Nagalian purge in the first place,” said Hayjen. “They believed the Nagali people were an abomination.”

  “Indeed. But something happened that they didn’t anticipate. Their women couldn’t bear children. The warlord explained all of this to me and said that this was where I came in. To breed more little warriors, they needed fertile women.”

  Horror morphed Hayjen’s face as he connected the dots. “That’s why there were so many women on the slaver ship.”

  “Yes,” she gritted out. “Since women were scarce, only his most faithful warriors received brood mares.” Lilja waved her hand as tears pricked her eyes. “I will spare you the details, but I unwillingly became pregnant.”

  A stifling silence filled the room. “Oh Lil, I’m so sorry.” A pause. “The baby?”

  “I lost her.” Hot tears filled her eyes. “I had enough one day and I fought back. It was an accident. I pushed too hard and he pushed back.”

  The bed dipped and large arms wrapped around her. “Those bastards.”

  A tear slipped down her face. “But I was right. Not all of the Scythians were bad. There was one who was willing to sacrifice everything to help me escape.”

  “Blair,” Hayjen breathed onto the top of her head.

  “He was the bunkmate of the warrior I was given to, so we lived together. He protected me and took care of me while I was pregnant.”

  “I just—there aren’t words.”

  She wiped her face. “No, there aren’t. Nothing can describe the helplessness of being taken over and over again without a choice. It pales to the pain you feel when you lose a child. You lose part of yourself that won’t ever heal.” They sat there in silence holding each other as her tears dried. Lilja looked up into Hayjen’s pained face. “I understand what you’re feeling right now. The anger will turn into something ugly unless you channel it into something positive.”

  “Like you have?”

  “Like I have. I protect others from my fate.” Lilja pulled away her head, which was pounding harder after her crying. “That’s why I need to return to my ship. We accomplish important work.”

  “I want to help.”

  Lilja froze and turned to him. “What?”

  “I want to help. What can I do?”

  She placed a hand on top of his. “Live a happy life with your family.”

  “Gwen’s married.”

  Her lips pursed. “I know.”

  He gave her an odd look. “How?”

  She shrugged.

  Hayjen shook his head. “Never mind. It doesn’t matter. I have no place here.”

  “What are you talking about?” She stabbed a finger at the door. “You have a family right outside that door.”

  “My whole life has been about raising and taking care of Gwen, but now she has someone else to take care of her.”

  “That doesn’t mean she doesn’t need you.”

  “No, but she’s a woman now. She has her own life and now I can choose my own.”

  “What are you saying?”

  “I want to leave with you on the Sirenidae.”

  Lilja gaped at him. “A day ago you wanted to kill me, and now you want to join my crew?”

  “A lot has changed in that time. I want to make a difference, and I don’t want anyone to suffer as I did. It seems like joining your crew is the best option.”

  She blinked. “That’s a big decision.”

  “It is.”

  “It’s a hard life.”

  “My life has always been hard.”

  Lilja changed her tactic. “Have you told Gwen?”

  “No.”

  “Speak with your family before you make any hasty decisions.” She stood and moved to leave.

  “Where are you going?” Hayjen asked, standing from the bed.

  “To my ship.”

  “You’re hurt.”

  “I’m fine. My head hardly hurts.”

  His eyes narrowed.

  Lilja unwrapped her hand and held it to the big man. “I heal quickly.” The cut on her hand was sealed and a shiny pink color.

  “Seriously?” he growled.

  “What?”

  “You heal at an extraordinary rate, too?”

  “Sirenidae.”

  “I’ll escort you back to the ship.”

  She held her hand up. “I would prefer to go back by myself. Thank you for caring for me.” Lilja opened the door and paused, looking over her shoulder. “We leave port tomorrow at dawn.”

  With that parting remark, she slipped out of the room and down a hallway to the kitchen. A petite brunette woman with hazel eyes smiled at her from the table.

  “How’s your head?”

  “Fine, thanks to you I’m told,” Lilja replied with a smile.

  The brunette stood and offered her hand. “I’m Gwen.”

  “Lilja. I hate to be ungrateful, and I wish I could stay, but I must return to my ship. Thank you for your care, and for sharing your home with me.”

  Gwen moved to the door and opened it. “My pleasure. Safe travels.”

  Lilja surprised the woman by hugging her before she left the home. Outside, she set a brisk pace toward the fishing district. Blair was probably ripping apart the dock searching for her. She grimaced. He would not be happy.

  Twelve

  Lilja

  She sucked in the salty air as she meandered down the dock to the Sirenidae. She couldn’t believe how much had changed in the last day. Exhausted as she was, happiness bubbled beneath the surface. Lilja had fixed things with Hayjen. He was no longer out for revenge, or hating her for a crime she didn’t commit. That was a success in her book.

  A shout went up when she arrived at the Sirenidae. She inhaled a deep breath. It was time for the interrogation. Lilja smiled broadly as she boarded, her crew huddling around her.

  “You okay, Captain?” Johnathan asked, gesturing to her head.

  “I just took a nasty fall.”

  “It was some fall. It took hours to get the blood out of your carpets.”

  Lilja forced a smile to her face and held Blair’s gaze. “Yes, well, you know head wounds bleed a lot.” She gestured to herself. “As you can see, I am in perfect health. Now, prepare the ship. We leave at dawn.” With her dismissal, her crew dispersed, leaving Blair glaring at her.

  “Would you like a word, First Mate?” she asked while moving to her study.

  “Indeed I would, Captain,” he growled.

  Lilja noted the absence of her favorite rug as she entered her study. She turned and sat in the window seat. “I’m sorry.”

  Blair crossed his arms, eyeing her. “Are you okay?”

  “I am.”

&nbs
p; “That was a lot of blood, Lil.”

  “I was taken care of.”

  “By whom?”

  “A friend,” she hedged.

  He sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I was so worried. I had men sent out discreetly to find you. You didn’t leave a note.”

  “Well, I was kind of unconscious.”

  Blair scowled at the sarcasm in her voice. “It’s not funny.”

  She held her thumb and pointer finger together. “It is a little bit.”

  “I was worried.”

  Lilja dropped her teasing. “I know. I didn’t mean to worry you, but I’m okay. I had an accident.”

  “How did you get to a healer?”

  “Hayjen took me.”

  Blair’s eyes widened. “Hayjen? How did Hayjen get on the bloody ship?” His face darkened. “Did he do this to you? Are you protecting him, Lil? So help me if—”

  “He didn’t crack my head open. We did fight,” she explained, “but we’re on good terms now.”

  “How?”

  “He knows.”

  He stiffened. “Please don’t tell me you were stupid enough to tell him.”

  “Hey now,” she cautioned. “I am not stupid. It was the Lure.”

  “The Lure?”

  “Yeah—what you experienced last night?”

  He blanched.

  “He caught me off guard. We fought, he saw my gills, and I passed out. He took me to his sister. They took very good care of me and promised to stay silent about my heritage.”

  “And you trust them?”

  “I do.”

  Blair kept silent, thinking things over before blowing out a breath. “Okay.”

  “Okay?”

  He flashed her a faint smile. “Okay.” He stared at the floor for a beat before meeting her eyes. “I need to speak to you about something.”

  Her stomach dropped at the tone of his voice. “What?”

  “Last night I made a decision.”

  “A serious one?”

  “Indeed.” He blew out a breath and met her gaze squarely. “I’m going back.”

  “No,” she breathed, staring at him in horror. “No, you can’t.”

  “I can and I will.”

  “No, I won’t allow you to.” Lilja jumped to her feet. “I will never let you go back to that hellhole.”

  “I have to.”

  “Why?” she cried.

  “We need to know what’s going on beyond the wall. We need someone on the inside.”

  “They’ll kill you on sight.”

  “They think I’m dead. They don’t know I escaped with you.”

  “You’re just one person.”

  “I can help the slaves there.”

  Lilja’s eyes filled with tears. His decision was final. She saw it in the way he stood. “You’re leaving me?” she asked, her voice cracking.

  Blair’s stern face melted into sorrow. He pulled her from the window seat and wrapped his arms around her. “You don’t need me.”

  The tears burst free. “I’ll always need you,” she sobbed into his shirt. “How can you leave me? Is it because of what the Lure did to you last night?”

  He pulled her wet face from his shirt. “The Lure is the least of our problems.”

  His face blurred. “Then why now?”

  Gentle fingers wiped the tears from her face and serious, deep brown eyes searched her eyes for something. “I’ve felt this way for a long time. The only reason I didn’t leave sooner is because I wasn’t ready to part with you, and I knew you needed me. You don’t need me anymore, Lil. You haven’t for a long time.”

  “What are you talking about? You’re my first mate and my best friend.”

  “Can you survive without me?”

  “Yes.”

  “Can you run this ship on your own?”

  “Yes,” she stuttered out.

  “You want me here, but you don’t need me. Others need me, Lil.”

  Her heart squeezed painfully. “I don’t want you to go. I’ll never see you again.”

  His hand clasped her face. “I am going to ask you a question and I want a serious answer.”

  “Okay,” she hiccupped.

  “Do you want me?”

  “Of course I want you.”

  “No,” he tipped her chin up with his thumbs and leaned closer. “Do you want me?”

  Understanding dawned, and blue eyes flashed through her mind. “No.” It was one of the hardest things she had ever had to say.

  He smiled. “It’s okay.”

  “Do you?” she left the question hanging in the air.

  “No, but I love you.”

  “I love you, too.” A tear dripped down her cheek.

  Blair kissed the tear away. “We’re comfortable with each other and that’s okay. But I saw how you looked at Hayjen. I’ve been waiting for the time you would finally show interest in someone. We have been to hell and back, but we need to move forward. That’s the only way to live a healthy life.”

  “If you go, I’ll never see you again.”

  “This is not goodbye. I am widening your scope of spies. We can take Scythia down, but only if we have someone on the inside.”

  Lilja placed her ear against his heart and hugged him tightly as the last of her tears dried. “Can you go back to that life?”

  “I have to.” Blair’s arms tightened around her.

  She leaned back and held onto his forearms. “Can you hold onto yourself?”

  “I’ll have to.”

  “Blair,” she said softly, “the life of a spy is painful.”

  “If my suffering can save hundreds and thousands of others, it will be worth it.”

  “You’re a good person.” She stepped out of his arms and scrubbed at her face. Her best friend was leaving her, but she understood why. “How long until you leave?”

  He smiled sadly. “Tomorrow morning.”

  A small sound of pain escaped her. “So soon?” she croaked, trying to keep it together.

  Tears flooded her dearest friend’s face. “The Mort Wall is close.” He pulled her back into a fierce hug. Wet drops plopped onto the top of her face, causing her tears to burst free. “Leaving you will be the hardest thing I’ve ever done.”

  “If I could go with you I would.”

  “I know.”

  They held each other and cried until no more tears were left. Lilja didn’t want their last day spent together to be drowned in sorrow. She tilted her head back and smiled. “How about a swim?” He loved swimming.

  Blair grinned. “That’s a perfect idea.”

  “First one inked by an octopus has to buy drinks.”

  “You’re on.”

  Thirteen

  Hayjen

  The last day on the land was the best day he had since he arrived home. He spent the morning helping Colm in the forge, and then helped Gwen with household chores in the afternoon. The evening passed with a divine stew and hearty bread that his sister had perfected. Hayjen sat near the hearth drinking his brew before bed when Gwen sat next to him and laid a hand over his.

  “When do you leave?”

  Startled, his eyes flew to his sister’s. “What?”

  “You’re stir-crazy here. I can see it, and I heard part of your conversation this morning.”

  He clasped her hand. “Would you be angry if I did?”

  “No, but I’ll be sad. I finally have you back.”

  “I wouldn’t be gone forever. I will be home every couple of months.”

  Gwen studied him in her keen way. “You don’t have to explain yourself to me. This is your life. You’ve been living for me since papa and mum died. It’s okay to make choices for you. I’m well cared for.”

  She’d grown up. Hayjen could hardly believe it. It felt like just yesterday his mum was placing Gwen in his chubby little arms. Soon there would be a new little one. “I’ll be here for the babe as much as I can.”

  She smiled and touched her belly. “It’s hard to be
lieve I created life.”

  “It’s wondrous.”

  “It is.” She lifted her eyes. “Will you be in danger?”

  Hayjen couldn’t lie to her. “Yes.”

  Her jaw tightened and she looked away. “Can you tell me any specifics?”

  “I am going to protect others from what happened to me.”

  “As a pirate,” she stated carefully.

  “Yes.”

  Gwen nodded and met his gaze. “I support you in this completely, but after the baby is born, we need to be careful.”

  His actions from here on out would put his family in danger. “We’ll work something out.”

  “Even if it means no contact except through letters?”

  He swallowed. “If that’s what it takes to protect you and your family.”

  “I don’t think it will come to that, but we need to think about the consequences.” Tears filled Gwen’s eyes. “I want you to be happy.”

  Hayjen stood and wrapped his arms around her. “You’ve made me a happy uncle.”

  He stuffed his last shirt into his sack and swung it over his shoulder. Hayjen scanned the little room, smiling at the touches of his sister here and there. He closed the door behind him and moved through the quiet house to the kitchen. Through the window, he could see Gwen standing in the tall grass, haloed by the sun. He smiled and slipped out of the kitchen to her side.

  “All ready to go?” she whispered.

  “I am.”

  Gwen turned to him, a wobbly smile on her face. “I always wanted to be a pirate, and now I’m related to one. So that makes me one by extension. Pirate Gwen Blackwell has a nice ring to it.”

  Hayjen sniggered and held open his arms. “Come here.” His sister rushed into his arms and held him so tightly he swore his ribs creaked.

 

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