Chiseled - A Standalone Romance (A Super Sexy Western Romance)

by Naomi Niles

  “Are you sure I’m okay?” I screamed at Frau Miller. “Don’t you think I should go to a hospital?”

  “No, no, it is okay. Some of the women have their child while they pick the beans. For some, it is easier to bend at the knees and lower yourself to the ground.”

  “Then let me squat!” I cried out, rolling my bountiful tummy to the side and landing flat-footed on the floor. My water had broken long before but the women scrambled to put a white cloth beneath me, muttering all the while. It was clear that I did not hold their admiration.

  Kaci Lynne O’Reilly was born at roughly eight o’clock on a September night. She had my strawberry-blonde hair and Sean’s vivid, blue eyes. She looked like a tiny angel, particularly when Frau Miller swaddled her in white, cotton blankets the women had donated. They held her to my breast when her tiny cries began and showed me how to change her diapers and burp her. She slept in a basket next to my bed and there was no one but me to tend to her in the night. Having children was a woman’s job, and it was clear that one didn’t hire nannies in this community.

  Many women visited, albeit briefly due to the harvesting. They brought small gifts of baby clothing and blankets, hand-sewn dolls and teething toys made from thickly-wrapped rope. Kaci prospered and as I looked over my tanned and matured body, I felt as though I, too, had grown into a new woman.

  Thus, it was that in mid-October, when Frau Miller announced it time, that Kaci and I packed our few belongings and said goodbye to the Miller family. Katie hugged me, tears on her cheeks, and I promised to write.

  We climbed onto a Greyhound bus at the crossroads and then boarded a plane in Ft. Wayne bound for New York City.

  Neither Dad nor Sean were expecting me, so we took a taxi home. I flipped on the lights in the firehouse and was shocked to see that both apartments had been completed. Apparently Sean had spent most of the summer there. They were beautiful.

  I trudged up the stairs to my own apartment and saw he’d also put closet shelves up for me and had replaced the countertop with one of granite. It gleamed beneath the newly-painted cupboards that were underlit with tiny, LED lights. I emptied a drawer, as I’d seen done in the old movies, and put Kaci in it to sleep until I could order in proper baby furniture. For the time being, I told no one I was home. I needed to rest… and to think.

  Chapter 34

  I took a week to get acclimated. I ordered baby things and new clothes for myself. My post-birth body was fuller and my milk-filled breasts poured out of my old bras. It was a wholly natural and wonderful transition. I also took the time to file my stories and investigative data for the board, so no one at the office bothered me for a while. I suspected Martha was behind this vacation.

  Kaci was a real doll baby. When clothed in more conventional outfits of our region, she did, indeed, look like a tiny angel. Her facial features were tiny and well-proportioned. Every time I looked at her, I saw Sean’s eyes.

  The day came when I was finally ready to introduce her to her grandfather. I knew Dad had returned to work part-time but that weekends were spent at home. I chose Sunday afternoon for our debut.

  I rang Dad’s doorbell and Carla answered. “Gwyne! Oh, honey, you’re back! Warren! Warren! Come see who is here!”

  Dad appeared behind her and reached out to touch my arm and pull me inside. I gently shook his hand loose and bent to pick up the baby carrier where Kaci slept.

  Dad and Carla froze. “Who is that?” Dad asked in a raw voice.

  “This is your granddaughter, Kaci, Dad.” I took a step toward them, the carrier in my hand. He and Carla automatically stood aside as we entered. I sat the carrier down and picked Kaci up out of it. I held her in the crook of my arm, swaddled in a lilac blanket with tiny rows of ruffles.

  “She’s yours?” Dad’s voice was filled with emotion.

  “Yes, and yours,” I said, holding Kaci toward him. Dad stood there for long moments, looking at her.

  “Well, take her, Warren! For heaven’s sake!” Carla burst and took Kaci from me and put her into Dad’s arms.

  There was a look of wonderment on his face. I could see he was pale and completely out of his element. “It’s okay, Dad. She won’t break. Sit down and hold her on your lap.”

  He nodded and for the first time, I saw my dad was speechless. He moved gently and slowly toward the sofa and sat down, holding Kaci against his chest as if she were a stick of dynamite. He didn’t say anything for a long while, but played with her hands and touched her nose. Then, in a moment I shall never forget for my entire life, he lifted her up and kissed her on the cheek.

  Carla sat on the sofa next to him, relishing the change in the man she had come to know so well. She gingerly petting Kaci’s arm. “She’s beautiful, Gwyne,” she said.

  Warren handed Kaci to Carla. “Here, you hold her,” he said and stood up. “Gwyne, I’d like to talk to you out on the patio,” he said, and his voice was not amused.

  I followed him, knowing what was coming. I’d decided to be pre-emptive. “Dad, before you start, I’m not going to tell you who the father is. There is a reason for this and I’m asking you to respect my decision on this. Kaci is my daughter and your granddaughter. I will raise her myself. I’m going to find a nanny to live on the premises in return for an apartment. I will work from home as much as possible and no longer take any assignments out of town. I’ll be fine, she will be fine, and I won’t be asking you for financial help.” I sat down on a lawn chair, convinced that I’d headed off any possible objections.

  “Is it my turn, now?” he asked me, standing before me with his feet widely spaced and his hands on his hips.

  “Sure, go ahead and chew me out.”

  “Does she belong to Bob?”

  “Dad, I won’t budge on this. I have my reasons.”

  “Were you raped?”

  “No.”

  “Did you do this on purpose?”

  “No.”

  “Do you need money?”

  “No.”

  “Will you give your old man a hug?”

  At these words, I stood and the tears streamed down my face as I buried it in his shoulder. “I love you, Dad.”

  “I love you, too, daughter,” he echoed, and the world was right again.

  We went back inside and Carla handed me a crying Kaci. “I believe she’s hungry,” she said. “She was sucking on my little finger.”

  I nodded and went back to my old room to nurse her. I imagined the discussion that was going on in the next room. It was okay; I understood there was going to be some resistance, some confusion.

  I looked around my room as Kaci nursed. It was still painted pink from when I’d been a little girl. Over the years, the bedspreads and throw pillows had changed; the pink had remained. I remember buying fan magazines and wallpapering my headboard with various bands. They came and went and now were middle-aged men who no longer held any attraction for me.

  My thoughts turned to Sean – the man who did hold an attraction for me. I knew if I told him about Kaci, he’d drop everything and we’d leave New York City. While I had settled considerably over my summer with the Amish, I still wasn’t ready to be that far away from the home where I’d grown up. I didn’t want to leave Dad. His health would never be reliable again and it wouldn’t be fair to give him a granddaughter and then immediately turn around and take her away from him. I knew it would break his big, crusty heart.

  At the same time, was I being fair to Sean?

  Kaci had fallen asleep at the breast and I laid her on the bed, surrounding her with pillows. I laid down next to her to hold her tiny fingers, and then I fell asleep.

  I was awakened by mens’ voices in the living room. Startled, I checked Kaci and she was still sound asleep. She wouldn’t roll anywhere, so I let her sleep, appreciating the break in the mommy routine.

  I walked into the living room and was shocked to see Bob standing there. “What are you doing here?” I asked him.

  Dad held up his hand. “Sit down
here and we’re going to talk.” I knew that tone of voice; it was the one that I heard when I was three hours late on prom night and when I’d stolen Dad’s car to go joy riding at seventeen. He meant business. I held up my finger to indicate he should wait a moment and took one last look at Kaci before I went into sit on the sofa.

  Bob sat at the other end and Dad sat in his chair. Carla was brewing coffee, giving us the option of privacy.

  “Now then. I called Bob here because he’s been here several times looking for you and I had his number. Now, Bob, there’s a little something we need to discuss.”

  “Yes, sir?” Bob was agreeable, even if completely confused as to why he was there.

  “My daughter came home today. She did not come alone, however. She brought with her a daughter; a tiny baby whose name is Kaci.”

  Bob’s mouth dropped open and he turned to look at me. I became furious. I wasn’t going to allow Dad to railroad me like this. “Bob? I’d like to talk to you outside on the patio, please?”

  “Sit down!” Dad barked and I ignored him.

  “No, Dad, I told you, this is my life. You no longer have a say in it. Bob? Please?”

  Bob leapt to his feet, his head spinning at the barrage of anger exchanged between Dad and myself. He followed me outside and I walked him to the back of the yard where Dad couldn’t listen in.

  “What the hell, Gwyne?”

  “Bob, this is a mess. I was pregnant when we came here for dinner that day.”

  He nodded. “Well, that explains a lot.”

  “I told Dad that I won’t tell him who the father is.”

  “But… the father is…?”

  “I don’t think you have to ask, do you?”

  “No, I suppose not. So, why am I here?” Bob was pacing and I knew he was having trouble getting his head around this latest development.

  “Dad thinks you’re the father, obviously. He doesn’t know about Sean and I.”

  “And what does Sean think about all this?”

  “He doesn’t know.”

  “You didn’t tell him?”

  “No. If I tell him, he’ll want to marry me and then Dad will see to it that he’s out of a job. You can see how pissed Dad is. He’ll realize that Sean and I were seeing each other behind his back and that probably the entire fire station knew about it. He can’t handle that—it would finish him. He will fire Sean and then Sean has no choice but to go back to Iowa.”

  “Iowa?” I could hear the smirk in his voice.

  “Don’t, don’t do that, Bob. It’s where he’s from, okay? In many ways, it makes him a better guy. I’m not comparing, but he’s got some pretty deep commitments to helping the unfortunate. It comes from his upbringing.”

  “Do you think you’re being fair to him?”

  “There’s no choice in it. I know him. If he finds out, he’ll want to do the noble thing and will throw himself on the bomb known as Warren O”Reilly.”

  Bob stopped and turned to look at me. “Marry me.”

  “What? Whaaaaat?” I couldn’t absorb what he was saying.

  “Marry me, Gwyne. It’s perfect, even intended. Don’t you see? Look, you know I’m in love with you and have been since forever. The only thing standing in the way of my sniffing at your heels was your relationship with Delaney. The baby? I’ll adopt her – no problem. She’s a mini you and I’ll love her as much as I love you. I’ve got a great job, a nice place, and I’m just plain crazy about you. I’ll make you happy, Gwyne; I swear I will!”

  “Bob, this isn’t your daughter. If Sean ever realized what happened, it would kill him. You need to see her. His eyes are looking back at you. There’s no mistaking it. He will know instantly when he sees her.”

  “So, don’t let him see her. There’s no reason you ever have to see him again – ever. Marry me, Gwyne?”

  I held up my hand, letting the idea seep through the confusion in my brain. He had a point. Sean didn’t have to see the baby, ever. She would be given all the advantages of Bob’s wealth and connections. It would be best for her. Dad would be happy and there would never be any chance we’d move away from New York City. He loved me; I could tell. The only thing that remained was that I didn’t love Bob. I was in love with Sean.

  He must have read my thoughts. “I know you don’t love me, Gwyne. Not now, you don’t. But your baby will have the best I can give her and I’ll do the same for you. You will come to love me, Gwyne. You’ll have the perfect life. Work when you want to and don’t when you want to stay home. I’ll even agree to your having your own room, until such time as you wish to share mine. Just think of this, Gwyne: I’ll name your baby as my heir. It’s a win-win all the way around!”

  I took a deep breath and gave away my life. I nodded. “My own room.”

  “Yes, whatever you say. All I ask is that you don’t see him again. No more babies. Agreed?”

  I swallowed hard and thought of Katie and her sparse and simple life. All she wanted was the protection of a man and she had accepted Mark Miller without question because no one else was asking her. If she could do it, so could I.

  “Okay. Deal. You tell Dad.”

  He took a few paces towards me and hugged me—hard. I turned my back as he jogged inside the house. I could hear his voice talking to Dad and the sporadic responses from Dad. I remained where I was, steeped in misery and the sense that I had betrayed Sean, even if I never had. Finally, I remembered Kaci and went straight in to the bedroom. She was awake and kicking her chubby, little legs. I picked her up and carried her into the living room. With a subtle, but deep breath, I handed her to Bob. I saw his eyebrows raise as he looked at her eyes, but he didn’t skip a beat.

  I felt like I’d handed two lives away. That didn’t even count Sean’s.

  Chapter 35

  Bob agreed to stay away from my place. I needed to get things together and wanted the peace of mind in which to do it. He picked us up one evening and we shopped for an apartment in town. Bob gave me a fairly generous budget and although my heart wasn’t in it, we found something with three bedrooms and the amenities on hand that would give us a very comfortable life.

  I stood now in the bay of my firehouse, deciding what to do. The apartments were finished and that made the property considerably more valuable. I knew I could sell it for a pretty profit. It tugged at my heart, but I knew I needed to sell it. There was too much of Sean in it. I needed to disappear where he couldn’t find me again. It was the only way to protect Kaci.

  With a sigh, I called a realtor and put it on the market. I moved my few belongings out and moved with Kaci directly into Bob’s apartment ahead of schedule. He wouldn’t join us until after the wedding.

  It was to be a small, private affair with Carla as my witness and my Dad giving me away. It was planned for the following Saturday.

  The fire station sold almost immediately. I knew it would. I more than tripled my money and put it into a savings account. I would invest it later to pay for Kaci’s college.

  I wasn’t happy, although I had no right to be anything but. Bob was being extremely generous in his offer and my Dad would be happy. Sean would be safe. It was only my heart that would lie broken in a hundred pieces. I could take it. I had learned the quality of nobility and quiet pride while living with Katie. I was strong enough to do this.

  Bob had hired a nanny so I could move about and even work if I wanted to without worrying about Kaci. She was a gentle woman from Britain; she reminded me of Mary Poppins. Her name was Caroline and she had eyes that almost glittered. I knew that Kaci would grow up loving her.

  On the night before the wedding, I went by Dad’s house to discuss any open details. I took Kaci with me. I found him on the patio, staring out over the backyard.

  “Hi, Dad,” I greeted him from inside the screen door. He turned at the sound of my voice and nodded.

  “Gwyne…” he acknowledged.

  I pushed the screen open and joined him. He bent and kissed the baby on the cheek and once aga
in took up his “captain on the bridge” stance. This had always meant that he was conflicted.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing important.”

  “Dad, what is it?”

  “He’s not the father, is he?” His voice was quiet but deliberate.

  “Dad… we talked about this…”

  “Gwyne, just confirm what I’m thinking. He’s not the father, is he?”

  I sighed. “No, Dad, he isn’t.”

  “Damn!” he cursed.

  “I’m sorry if that makes you angry.”

  “What makes me angry is that you are marrying a man you obviously don’t love, I don’t like, and he’s going to become the father of your daughter and my granddaughter. Gwyne, I didn’t raise you to throw your life away like this.”

  “Dad, he’s giving us the best shot we can have.”

  “Why isn’t the father a better idea?”

  I was trapped. “He’s just not, Dad.”

  “Why?”

  “He doesn’t know about her and he can’t provide for her, much less himself, if he finds out about her.”

  “Why not?”

  “Dad, please stop right there. I’m not going to say any more on the matter and I’m asking you to just accept this.”

  “Gwyne, this is your entire life we’re talking about.”

  “I know, Dad. Would you give your life for me?” I asked him.

  “Of course.”

  “Then let me do the same for my daughter, will you?”

  He opened his mouth to speak, but I knew my point had hit home and he couldn’t argue. He sighed deeply and nodded. I kissed him on the cheek and left.

  * * *

  I sat on the bench in the darkness, a single light from the lamp post next to me providing the only source that allowed me to see. Even so, I could barely see through the tears that streamed down my face.

  Kaci and I were sitting across the street from where Sean lived. I’d found his address among bills he had forwarded and now I sat there, as though worshipping a shrine.