by Grey, S. R.
“You did?”
“Yes.” He looked over at me. “I wanted to do something major to mark that I’m finally letting go of the past. Like, in every freaking way imaginable.”
I knew he was referring to the directory we’d burned, so I said, “That makes sense.”
He smiled, and wow, he really was stunning. Long hair, short hair, no hair—he was a god.
“It’s not permanent, you know?” he said. “It’ll grow back.”
I sat up next to him. Shit, I’d come off as too negative. I hadn’t intended to, and he needed to know that.
“I just wanted to make sure it wasn’t a kneejerk reaction to something bad, Benny.”
“Something bad?” He raised a brow. “What could possibly be bad? My life is finally on track in every way.”
Though he left it at that, his eyes seemed to question if there was something more with me, something he didn’t know that he should.
Was there ever!
I couldn’t tell him about Ava. Not after the conversation with Drew.
“No, there’s nothing bad,” I said, laughing nervously. “Why would there be? I was just worrying over nothing.”
“You shouldn’t worry so much, sweetheart.”
Ha, from his lips to God’s ears!
I wanted to assure him we were good, so I said, “I think it’s wonderful you chose to make a symbolic gesture to celebrate all you’ve overcome. You should be proud of yourself, Benny.”
I meant what I said, but I kept thinking, If only I could say the same for my own self.
“Come here, Eliza.”
Benny pulled me to him and wrapped me up in his big bear arms.
I felt instantly comforted.
Swallowed up by Benny Perry made for a very comfortable place, like a cocoon of security and warmth.
Too bad I’d probably end up losing him.
Unraveling
If there was one dude I couldn’t stand, it was this forward, this fucking right winger for the Dallas Stars, named Drew Chidders.
Fuck.
Even his name sounded asshole-ish. But man, did it ever fit him.
Drew was a major prick, a full-of-himself kind of guy. He was a dirty player to boot. We’d never gotten along, not on the ice or off.
I’d have to deal with him soon enough, though. We had a game against the Stars that was starting in a few short hours.
I couldn’t believe we were well into December already. Nearly three months into the season and the Wolves were flying high. We kept moving from second place to first, then back again, in the division standings. It just depended on who was hot, us or the team we were neck and neck with—the Dallas Stars.
Despite all my worrying about superstitions, my haircut hadn’t affected my play in any negative way. I was playing magnificently. Other things were great, as well—like me and Eliza.
Only thing I didn’t like was that we were still sneaking around. No one knew about me and her, except for Dylan and Graham.
But I soon discovered we weren’t the only ones keeping things on the down-low.
Nolan shocked the shit out of everyone when he up and married Lainey Shelburne. No one even knew they were officially dating. Well, I knew. But I always thought it was too volatile to last.
Was I ever wrong.
I had to laugh at how they reminded me of Eliza and me. To keep up our own farce, she and I had to pretend like we barely knew each other at their impromptu wedding, and at the reception afterward.
That kind of sucked. I couldn’t dance with her, or love up on her the way I would’ve liked. I didn’t give a shit anymore if the whole world knew we were together, and neither did she. But there was one thing holding us back—not knowing how her father would react when he found out about us.
If her dad hadn’t been my coach, it wouldn’t have mattered. But he was, and I was already far from one of his favorite players. Keeping our relationship from him was the only option for the time being.
Too bad Eliza and I had forgotten about the selfie the girl at the restaurant had taken. It was the one thing that had the power to reveal us to the world, the impetus that could unravel everything.
And that’s exactly what happened.
It started during the game with the Dallas Stars and just spiraled downward after that. The unraveling technically began before the game even started. I just didn’t realize it till later. I should’ve wondered, though, when a couple of the rookie guys on our team started passing around their phones and snickering like crazy.
It was weird, but I paid them no heed.
My mistake.
When the game got underway, I forgot all about rookies and their phones. I became preoccupied with the battle that was going in between me and fucking Drew Chidders.
Our hatred for one another had reignited as soon as we hit the ice. And then, early in the first period, as I was heading into a corner to retrieve the puck, Drew came out of freaking nowhere and barreled into me.
It was a good solid check, not boarding. I was even about to give him props for it. But then the prick turned around and sneered at me.
“You are one shady motherfucker, like literally,” he said.
Huh?
We started battling for the puck, and I snapped at him, “What the fuck are you talking about, Chidders?”
“Like you don’t know—”
That was all I heard because I’d come up with the puck and had skated away.
Brent was in front of the goal, covered by two Stars’s defenders. But then I saw an opportunity. With the goaltender focused on the players in front of the net, a sliver of space had opened up on the far side.
I took full advantage of it, burying the puck in an instant.
He shoots and scores!
The home crowd went nuts, and after celebrating with my teammates, I looked up into the crowd. I was hoping to find Eliza, but she wasn’t in her usual spot. I checked again a couple minutes later, figuring she’d gone to get nachos or something. But now there was actually someone else in her seat. They’d been the one running out for nachos.
It was weird. I mean, Eliza rarely missed a game. I guessed since it was finals week she’d decided to stay home and study.
Yeah, that had to be it.
We were up by one goal for a while, but then that fucker Chidders scored late in the second. He only got the goal because one of the Stars’s goons had slashed Nolan across the wrist, taking him out of play.
Nolan left the ice injured and didn’t return for the third. That had me a little concerned, but I had no time to dwell on it. Chidders was all over me again, even going so far as to hook me at one point.
The referee was right there and called the penalty.
“Fucking moron,” I murmured as Drew skated past me on his way to the penalty box to serve his time.
He heard me and slowed to a stop.
“Laugh now, Perry,” he said. “I’ll have my turn when your coach figures out you’re fucking his daughter.”
Wait, how could he know that?
“What the fuck are you yammering on about?” I barked. “How could you even know such a thing?”
“Wouldn’t you like to know, fuckface.”
“Yeah, I kind of would.”
We started circling each other, until the linesmen skated over to make sure we didn’t start fighting.
“What I wouldn’t do to be present when that conversation goes down,” Drew yelled back over his shoulder as he was ushered away.
I was stumped. How the fuck could he have found out about us? It was truly a mystery. I couldn’t imagine how that asshole could know I was with Eliza when no one else did.
Or, shit, did they?
I looked around, and for this one long minute I felt like everyone’s eyes were on me.
Brent snapped me out of it when he skated by and tapped me with his stick.
“Are you all right, Benny?”
“Yeah.” I shook my head, casting off my crazy
thoughts. “I’m fine.”
I wasn’t, though. I could barely concentrate the rest of the game. As a result, I made some key mistakes, and Coach T benched me for the remainder of the third. That was really saying something since we were down a player already with Nolan out with the injured wrist.
“Get your head together,” Coach barked at me as time ticked down. “I don’t want to lose you, too.”
Hmm, he didn’t seem too angry with me. That meant he didn’t know about me and Eliza, at least not yet. I was still trying to figure out how Chidders knew.
Fuck, I hope it doesn’t have anything to do with why some of the rookie players were huddled around their phones before the game.
One thing for sure, I needed to find out.
Back in the locker room, I was all set to confront the young guys to see what had been so amusing. First, though, I wanted to shower and dress. I did so in record time, but before I could get to the rookies, Coach raced into the locker room and pulled me aside.
Looking angrier than I’d ever seen him, he ground out, “I need to talk with you immediately, Perry.”
I nodded. “Okay.”
I had a bad feeling he now knew what Chidders had known. And because of that, I followed him to what I suspected would be my doom.
Selfie Showdown
Due to that awful discussion with Drew, I decided to skip the Stars-Wolves game altogether when it came around.
I’d never planned to take Ava, like Drew thought I had, but now I also had no desire to subject myself to watching her jackass father on the ice.
I made no mention of the game one way or the other to Benny in the days leading up to it. Though I was sure he assumed I’d be there.
I hoped he might not notice my absence, but if he did and asked I had a valid excuse—there was too much studying to do. It wasn’t a lie since we were in the middle of winter finals week.
I didn’t bother to watch the game on TV, for the same reason I didn’t go to it. I wanted no part of Drew. I even went so far as to silence my phone so I wouldn’t receive alerts.
I planned to study hard and already had several books spread across my bed in preparation. Ava was asleep in the next room, and the baby monitor was on. So far, things had been quiet. She’d been sleeping a lot more soundly lately. Once she was down, she was out.
As a result, I was über productive that night. By ten o’clock, I felt more than prepared for the upcoming exams.
“I should probably get some sleep now,” I murmured to myself as I picked up my phone for the first time in hours.
I was readying to set the alarm for the morning when I noticed I had dozens of texts and voice mails. I wasn’t sure yet about the voice mails, but the texts were all from Lainey.
Although none of them made any sense when I scrolled through them.
Did you see the picture yet, Eliza?
What’s going on?
Are you and Benny dating?
Crap, I’m glad for you if you are. I mean, you look really happy in the picture. What about your dad, though?
What picture?
And how did she know about me and Benny?
Even more concerning was what did my dad know?
I was about to find out.
When I checked voice mail, there were three messages, all from my father. He wanted me to come to the arena to meet him at his office—immediately.
“We need to talk,” he somberly stated in one foreboding message.
Shit. I was in for it. And I didn’t dare consider what was in store for poor Benny. I doubted it was an invite to our next family dinner based on the latest text from Lainey—the one that had the picture in question attached.
More texts came in, and it seemed everyone knew about me and Benny. Everyone in my life, including my father, had seen the picture. The damn selfie the girl at the restaurant had taken—the one of me, her, and Benny—had been released to the world. I didn’t care about the general population. It was the hockey world that concerned me, specifically my dad.
Crap, our secret was out.
All anyone had to do was look at the photo, which in and of itself was kind of cute. But with the way Benny was staring down at me, no one could miss the look of utter adoration on his face. I was returning that look, making it obvious we were way into each other.
But the proof that left no doubt was the girl had captioned the photo—me with Benjamin Perry and His Pretty Girlfriend.
Yep, my dad was going to kill me.
And probably string up Benny by his balls.
Drastic times called for drastic measures. I knew of only one person who could calm my dad and make him see reason—a tiny little girl who, with one smile, could melt anyone’s heart.
What Am I Missing
“Have a seat, Benjamin.” Coach T gestured for me to take the chair across from him.
We were in his office, and I sat down resignedly.
Fuck.
Coach looked like the man with the power, sitting behind his desk all stern-like. Still, I couldn’t imagine what I’d done to warrant a trip, an escorted one at that, to his office.
Was he pissed about the way I’d flaked out at the end of the game? Could that have been enough to make him this irate?
If so, I better fix it…and fast.
“Look, Coach,” I began, “if this is about my play at the end of the third, I assure you that was a one-time—”
“This is not about the fucking game,” he growled.
Coach Townsend wasn’t usually a growler, so to say I was taken aback would’ve been an understatement.
“Okaaay,” I drawled.
He tossed his phone over to me then, and I caught it with ease. “What’s this?” I asked.
“It’s a phone,” he deadpanned. “I suggest you take a look at what’s on the screen.”
I peered down…and shit—there was the selfie the girl at the restaurant had taken.
My first reaction was, wow, what a great picture!
Good thing I didn’t say that out loud.
“Umm,” I murmured instead.
Through clenched teeth, Coach T said, “There had better be a good explanation for this.”
I made a decision not to make things worse by lying. I’d been ready for a while to tell the world, which included Coach T, about my relationship with Eliza.
“Sir,” I began, easing into it, “I don’t really have one.”
“That’s hardly an explanation, Perry.”
“I don’t know what you want me to say.”
I could feel anger roiling off him. Good thing there was a desk between us.
“For starters,” he ground out, “why don’t you tell me why this photo would seem to indicate from the caption that my daughter is your girlfriend?”
Now was the time. But it wasn’t easy. Still, if you’re going down with the ship, you may as well revel in the drowning.
At last, I replied, “Sir, the caption isn’t a lie. Eliza is my girlfriend.”
Ah, it felt good to tell the truth.
But Coach didn’t share my relief. He actually looked kind of…smug?
Leaning back in his chair, like he knew something I didn’t, he said, “She is, now is she? And just how well do you think you know Eliza, Mr. Perry?”
Tread carefully, tread carefully. He’s calling you Mr. Perry now. That’s worse than Benjamin.
“Uh, I’d say pretty well, sir.”
“So how come I’ve never seen you at our house?”
“I’ve been there,” I shot back, defensive. “But,” I conceded, “only one time.”
“Uh-huh, I see.”
He looked all-knowing and even surer of himself. It was like something had just been confirmed for him.
What the hell could it be?
If he expected me to just go away, he was sadly mistaken.
Clearing my throat, I said, “Sir, I have to tell you that though it was wrong to hide our relationship from you, it doesn’t mean it’s not
the real deal. I care for Eliza. In fact, I think I’m in love with her.”
Wow, did I just say that out loud?
Yep, I had.
I meant it, though. There was no doubt anymore that I definitely loved Eliza. Forget falling—I was already there.
Coach shook his head, like he felt bad for me.
What? “What the hell is going on?” I wanted to know. “I feel like I’m missing something huge here.”
“You are, Benny.”
That wasn’t Coach, it was Eliza. Her voice had rung out from behind me, so I spun around.
What’s she doing here?
I had no idea, but even more confusing was why she was standing there with a baby in her arms.
Benny, Meet Ava
With his mouth agape, Benny couldn’t tear his gaze from me. Or rather, he couldn’t tear his gaze from the baby in my arms.
When he recovered from his initial shock, he said, “Eliza, what’s this all about? Whose baby is that?”
I took a step toward him. I was glad Ava was sleeping. She had woken up when I first roused her but had fallen back asleep during the car ride to the arena.
“This is Ava,” I said softly, so as not to wake her. “I thought it was about time you met her.”
He eyed my daughter warily, and then, in a near-whisper, he asked, “Ava is who to you, exactly?”
His eyes told me he already knew, but I answered him anyway. Thinking to hell with Drew, I stated clearly, “She’s my daughter, Benny.”
My dad, who’d been quiet and content to let this play out, barked out a loud cough. He obviously had already figured out Benny had no idea I had a child.
Ignoring Dad, I smiled at Benny. “Would you like to hold her?”
Still looking rather stunned, he murmured an uneasy, “Okay.”
I walked over to him and gently transferred Ava from my arms to his.
“I’m so sorry,” I whispered to him. “It was wrong of me not to tell you about her.”
“Why didn’t you?” he murmured.
“I was afraid, at first. I just didn’t want to scare you away. But then, there were…other reasons.”
