by Grey, S. R.
He raised a brow, but I shook my head. We could discuss things in more detail later.
But I had one thing to say that couldn’t wait. “I hope you can forgive me, Benny.”
He didn’t reply one way or the other. He was too busy staring down at the baby in his arms. I stepped back to give him some space, and I could’ve melted right there. Big Benny was cradling my daughter like she was a fragile carton of eggs. She hadn’t woken up. In fact, she seemed more content than ever. She was moving her legs a little and leaning her head against Benny’s chest.
God, I hoped and prayed he would forgive me. I wanted him in my life, especially now witnessing him with Ava. I could see a real future with him. A future that became even clearer when Ava woke up and, instead of crying, peered up at Benny. She seemed fascinated by the gentle giant holding her.
Benny began rocking and cooing to Ava, melting me further into a puddle of goo. Images of a possible life with him flashed through my mind. I imagined Benny standing with me as we watched Ava take her first steps. And then I saw us waving, seeing Ava off on her first day of school.
I thought about what life would be like if this all worked out, and I saw happiness and…love.
Oh my God, I loved Benny.
I choked back a sob, and Benny’s head jerked up.
“Am I doing it wrong?” He carefully adjusted Ava in his arms. “She looks okay, but am I hurting her?”
“God, no, Benny,” I replied. “You’re doing everything perfectly.”
My dad, whom I’d almost forgotten was in the room, cleared his throat. Rising from behind his desk, he walked over to where Benny was holding Ava.
With a loving grandfatherly caress to Ava’s cheek, he said to me softly, “I’m going to step into the office next door to give you guys some space. If Ava gets fussy just bring her to me.”
“Thanks, Dad,” I replied.
I was genuinely happy my plan had worked. My dad had forgotten—at least, for now—about chastising Benny.
“Yeah, thanks, Coach,” Benny added.
He patted Benny on the shoulder, and then left.
The fact that he was leaving us alone spoke volumes. I knew then that if Benny chose to stick around—which I prayed he would—my dad would not de-ball him.
He’d be watching, though, of that I had no doubt.
Once we were alone, Benny asked, “Why were you so afraid to tell me about Ava?”
I took a deep breath. “Like I said before, I was scared you’d see me differently.”
“What does that even mean? This is the twenty-first century, Eliza. There are no scarlet letters being passed out.”
“Maybe not,” I replied. “But that doesn’t mean there aren’t men out there who won’t date a woman with a child.”
“That’s stupid,” he said. “And besides, I don’t think like that.”
“No, you don’t, and thank God for that.”
He ran a hand over his head, still cradling Ava carefully. “I would never have viewed you any differently,” he reiterated. “I’ve always liked you for you, Eliza. Knowing you had a baby wouldn’t have changed my feelings, even from the start.”
I loved hearing that, but I couldn’t help but ask, “Are you absolutely sure?”
“Yes, I’m certain beyond a doubt.”
I believed him, but I suspected he’d feel differently if he knew who Ava’s father was. I couldn’t tell him that part. Not only did Benny hate the guy, but I feared what Drew would do if I revealed his secret.
Other worries began to creep in, too. Just because Benny was standing there now, claiming he would’ve accepted Ava, it didn’t mean he’d forgiven me for keeping her a secret for so long.
I was about to ask him where we stood on that issue when suddenly, like it had just dawned on him, he said, “Hey, wait a minute. That was Ava’s pacifier that was stuck in the sofa cushions that day, wasn’t it?”
“Um…”
He eyed me suspiciously. “It was, eh?”
“Yes,” I admitted, “it was hers.”
“Eliza,” he sighed. “Is that baby food diet you told me about even real? Or have I been running around sucking on a pacifier and looking like a tool for nothing?”
“Maybe not,” I hedged. “You said yourself that it helped with your donut cravings.”
“Eliza…” It was a warning—no more lies.
So I fessed up. “Okay. There is no baby food diet. I made it up when you saw all that baby food in my cart. And there’s no behavior modification supplemental program, either. It was the only thing I could think of to explain the pacifier.”
I expected him to be angry, but he just started laughing.
“I suspected as much when Dylan had never heard of it. Nor could he find it on-line. I figured you’d just made it up…for whatever reason…and I kind of forgot about it. But you know what?”
“Uh-oh,” I said quietly, “what?”
“Maybe the pacifier part should be in a plan. That damn thing’s really helped me stay away from donuts.”
“Maybe we’re onto something,” I said, smiling.
I was shocked he was taking it so well. Thrilled, but shocked.
“You’re not mad at me, then?” I questioned.
“Shit, no.”
He suddenly looked aghast. Peering down at Ava, he murmured in a hushed tone, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to swear just now.”
Laughing, and feeling so much relief I was giddy, I replied, “Benny, Ava’s far too young to pick up on curse words. You’re fine.”
He nodded. “That’s good, but I still think I should work on curbing my cursing. I’d hate to be a bad influence on her down the road.”
Down the road? That boded well.
Still, I held my breath when I meekly asked, “Does that mean you still want me?”
“Of course I want you, Eliza. None of this stuff could lessen my feelings for you. I understand why you were afraid to tell me about Ava. But the fact you didn’t doesn’t make me love you any less.”
We both froze.
“What did you just say?” I whispered.
He squared up his shoulders and adjusted Ava in his arms. He was getting more comfortable with holding her. What was even cuter was I swear Ava, who was still awake and alert, was peering up at him like she was also waiting for him to repeat what he’d said.
And then he did. “I love you, Eliza. And I’m sure I’ll love Ava soon enough, as well.”
My heart soared. I wanted to jump into his arms, but Ava was already there.
“I love you, too, Benny,” I replied.
He laughed. “Guess we’re in for it now, eh?”
“Looks like we are,” I concurred.
He leaned down and kissed me, and that was all I needed to know that it would all turn out okay.
I just hoped Drew didn’t interfere.
A Warning
I meant what I’d said to Eliza—I loved her. And I planned to stick around. I wouldn’t have felt any differently had I known about Ava from the start. But it didn’t matter now. I knew, and I still wanted to be with Eliza for the long haul.
We were still hanging out in Coach’s office when Ava got a little fussy. I guess she’d had enough of me. Eliza took her back, and we readied to leave.
But then, as we were stepping out into the hallway, Coach T yelled out from the office next door, “Come in here, Perry. I’d like to speak with you alone for a minute.”
I side-eyed Eliza. “Uh-oh, that can’t be good.”
She begged to differ. “I think you’re okay in my dad’s book. He left us alone in his office, right?”
“He did.”
“Then he can’t be that against the idea of us.”
“Ha, if that’s true, it’s only because Ava softened him up.”
Laughing and peering down at the little girl in her arms, she said, “That was the plan, Benny. That’s why I brought her along with me. Plus”—she gave me a sweet smile—“I wanted you to fi
nally meet her.”
“I’m glad you did, Eliza.”
Coach yelled for me again, and I said, “I better get in there.”
“Yeah, go.” She laughed. “Take your lumps like a man.”
I assumed she was teasing and there’d be no lumps doled out. Just in case, I covered my nuts as I opened the door.
“Why are you just standing there, Perry?” Coach T grumbled when I lingered. “Are you coming in or not?”
“I am, I am.”
Uncovering my junk, I made my way to a chair opposite him.
“I’m assuming you’re sticking around?” he began, getting right to the point as he steepled his hands on the desktop.
“Yes, I plan to stay with Eliza.”
He released a long breath. “That’s good to hear. Since, for whatever reason, my daughter seems to like you quite a bit.”
“Thank you, sir. I think I’ve made it clear that I like her quite a bit, too.”
“Hmm...” He gave me an assessing once-over. “You’ve changed a lot this past year.”
“I have, sir.”
“Nevertheless, I’m not completely sure you’re the right guy for my girl.”
“Hey!”
He held up a hand. “Give me a minute, I’m not done.”
Contrite, I replied, “Sorry, sir.”
“What I’m trying to say is that I’m willing to give you a chance, for Eliza’s sake.”
“Thank you,” I replied, feeling pretty darn good.
“Don’t look so smug, Benny. If I ever hear you’re back to your old ways—”
“Whoa, wait.” I had to cut him off and set him straight. “Let me assure you that will never happen. I’d never hurt Eliza, I promise you that.”
He warned, “You better not.”
Not You, Ugh!
It hadn’t been an act in my dad’s office. Nor was it a one-time fluke. Benny really was all right with Ava. And amazing with her, too.
I was thrilled to find that Ava adored him. It was just as heartening to discover Benny was a fast learner. He caught on right away when I taught him how to hold Ava properly.
“Was I doing it wrong in your dad’s office?” he inquired as he shifted her to a more suitable position. “My sister has a baby, but I don’t get to see her much.”
“No, no, you’re doing really well,” I assured him. “Always be sure to support her head, though.”
“Ah, got it.”
He did, in fact, get it, and I laughed. “See, you’re a natural.”
“You bet I am, babe.”
I showed him how to burp Ava next. He got that one down, but she spit up on him in the process.
“Ugh, disgusting.” He held her away from him while orange-y brown goo dripped down the front of his shirt.
Ava had just eaten the infamous sweet potatoes she loved so much, and Benny was now wearing them. Gross as it was, I couldn’t help but snicker.
“Better get used to it,” I said. “Babies do that all the time.”
Passing Ava back to me and grabbing a bunch of wipes to clean up, he remarked, “This just made it official.”
“What’s that?”
“I will never, ever touch anything labeled ‘sweet potato’ again in my life.”
I made a sad face. “Aw, not even our favorite tart?”
“Not even, Eliza. I will never again look at any tart without remembering this day, the day I wore regurgitated slop.”
Next lesson up was teaching Benny how to discern if Ava had had enough food or formula. He learned that one the fastest.
“Less chance of getting puked on again,” he gave as his reason.
And then came the final task, the coup de grâce—showing him how to change a diaper. That one was the funniest, especially the first time he tried.
“Holy shit, Eliza! What the fuck happened in here?” Benny was horrified and holding his nose upon encountering his first poopy diaper.
“She took a crap, Benny.” I rolled my eyes. “What did you expect, a bouquet of roses?”
“Well, no, not roses, but…daaamn.”
He backed away, and I had to take over from there.
“I’m just wondering how someone so small can make so much,” he marveled.
Laughing, I informed him, “This one isn’t even that bad. You should see it after she eats too much of that banana baby food she likes.”
“Ugh, I can imagine. And I don’t even want to think about the sweet potato ones. They were bad enough coming out the other way.”
I assured him, “Yep, you don’t want to know how bad those can be, Benny.”
I counted him out for diaper duty. But I was wrong. The next time Ava needed a diaper changed, he dove right in.
Still intent on holding his nose and maintaining the whole time that baby poop was “frighteningly god-awful,” he got the hang of it in no time and was soon changing diapers like an old pro.
“You’re no longer a rookie,” I informed him.
“Good to hear,” he deadpanned. “I’ve officially moved from a confirmed playboy to a seasoned veteran diaper changer.”
“You have indeed, Mr. Perry,” I replied. “You’ve come a long way.”
“I have.”
Later that same day we had to head over to the arena to drop off paperwork for my dad. He’d accidentally left a sealed folder of documents at the house and he needed them right away.
I had a feeling the paperwork had to do with a secret trade coming up.
With Nolan out of the line-up, the team had fallen into a bit of a slump. Ownership wanted to shake things up. There’d been talk of a lateral trade, maybe a right winger for another right winger.
That’d work out perfectly since Nolan Solvenson’s wrist injury had turned out to be much worse than originally thought. Although Nolan was out for the time being, he’d be back and there was no chance of him being traded. He was just too valuable to the team. Plus, the Wolves had a decent third-line right winger they could deal. That guy was playing far below his level and hadn’t been happy for a while. My dad had moved him up to the first line following Nolan’s injury, but he, Brent, and Benny just weren’t working out.
It was time for a change. Too bad the big folder we were taking to my father was sealed.
“Damn,” Benny said as we walked into the sports complex. “I bet we could find out who the team is looking at if we break that seal.”
“Benny,” I warned, “that is not a good idea. My dad will see the packet’s been tampered with.”
Since I had Ava, he was in possession of the papers. With a devious grin, he held up the folder and said, “We could always reseal it.”
I had Ava in one of those baby pouches, so my hands were free. Good thing for that, as I was able to snatch the folder from a far-too-curious Benny.
“Hey,” he protested. “I wasn’t really going to open it.”
“Better safe than sorry,” I replied.
We were at the end of the hall and making the turn to where the elevators were located.
That’s when I almost ran smack-dab into a guy as big as Benny. Strong hands landed on my shoulder, keeping me from stumbling with Ava.
“Oh, I’m sorry,” I stammered, stepping way the hell back.
There was something oddly familiar about the guy, even before I looked up at his face.
When I did raise my head, I muttered, “Shit.”
Benny didn’t hear me. He was too busy shooting daggers at the man. No surprise there, seeing as it was none other than his nemesis—Drew Chidders.
Kill me now.
Fuck, I have Ava with me.
Good thing Drew was fully engaged in a testosterone-laden standoff with Benny. Their gazes were locked, meaning he hadn’t noticed I was the girl who’d almost walked into him.
It gave me a minute to think, plus put on my best game face.
“Perry,” he snapped.
Benny nodded curtly, growling a none-too-friendly, “Chidders.”
All I could think was, why in the hell is Drew Chidders in Las Vegas? God, I prayed it had nothing to do with the impending trade.
The guys gave up on their dick-measuring contest and Drew finally took a good look at me. But shockingly, I received little more than a flickering glance. It was Ava who garnered his full attention.
It was the first time he’d ever laid eyes on her, and even Iceman was affected. I wasn’t fooled, however. I knew this fascination with her would only be temporary. Drew was just too into himself.
Ava was already pressed close to my breast, where she was still sleeping. I now brought my arms up to hold on to her more securely. I didn’t know why Drew was at the home of the Wolves, and really, I didn’t care. If he became a part of the team, so be it. I just didn’t want him anywhere near Ava. He hadn’t earned that right. He hadn’t even earned the right to lay his slimy eyes on her—though that’s what he was doing—not after the way he’d behaved on our last phone call.
The things he’d said—calling his daughter a distraction, threatening to take her away. An especially heinous act since he hadn’t ever publicly acknowledged she was his.
I fumed just thinking about it, but I needed to stay cool.
Despite the well-known rivalry between the two men, it was Benny who proved to be the better man. He stepped back and introduced us.
Talk about awkward. Benny didn’t know my history with Drew, or that he was Ava’s freaking father.
I prayed it wouldn’t blow up in my face when I said to Drew, “Uh, it’s nice to meet you.”
Dickhead stuck out his hand, smug grin firmly in place. “Likewise, Eliza.”
My hand shook like a leaf when I reluctantly took his. Drew loved every second of it. He was smirking when, instead of shaking and letting go, he raised my hand to his mouth and kissed the back.
I jerked away like I’d been burned. “Uh, so, yeah, no.”
Benny peered over at me, no doubt confused by my gibberish.
I just shrugged.
For the first time ever, I was actually glad when jackass Drew opened his mouth, even if it was to mockingly state, “What a cute baby you have there, Eliza.”
His prick comment gave me a reprieve on having to explain to Benny why I was behaving so strangely.
