Crossing Hudson

by Mandy M. Roth

  “You didn’t win a thing yet, darlin’.” Hudson looked James-Porter dead in the eyes and winked at him. “You can call me whatever you want, buddy. Your mommy needs to stop worrying so much. You’re little. You don’t know any better.”

  “Shona,” I said, in a flat tone. “Could you please take JP back with the girls and change him for me?”

  Nodding, she pulled James-Porter from Hudson’s arms. He began to scream and reach for Hudson. Shona tried to soothe him as she headed off to change his pants and get him a cookie.

  Hudson grimaced. “What did I say?”

  “Please don’t say it’s fine for him to do that or that it’s no big deal.”

  Stepping into me, he put his arms around me as if he’d done it countless times in the past. It was odd to feel this comfortable with him. “Why? He’s not bothering me. Like I said, he’s little.”

  “That’s not the point.”

  “Then please tell me what the point is,” he said, staring down at me with determined eyes. With the bad guys all dead, I knew I no longer had a distraction between us.

  “Don’t you have to go check in with Franco or something?” I was annoyed and wanted some time without him right next to me.

  Hudson’s gaze narrowed as he put his hands on my shoulders. “You aren’t shaking me that easily. Nice try. Now, tell me what’s going on. I’m sensing him calling me daddy scared you. Why? I’m a Guardian. I know you sense me close to the edge, but I’d never hurt a child. And I could never hurt anyone you care about, Ryan.”

  My eyes widened and my hand went to his chest. “Ohmygod, I never thought you would hurt him, Hudson. It’s just…it’s complicated.”

  He cleared his throat. “We need to have a long talk.”

  “About?”

  His gaze lowered. “Your tattoos for one. About how you think your destined mate is married to another. About JP. A lot really. This is a conversation to be had in private. And you’re right—it’s complicated.”

  What was he getting at? “Make it simple for me then.”

  He looked away for a minute. “Your mate isn’t married. He thought you were dead. He thought the enemy slaughtered the woman destined to be his.” His eyes moistened. “Trust me on this. Please.”

  “How can you possibly know what my mate thought?” I paused and then gasped. “You know my mate?”

  Groaning, he covered his eyes a moment. “Please, can we talk in private?”

  Being alone with him would be bad. I’d throw my legs open for the guy and I didn’t need any more complications in my life. It was enough I was still around Jude as much as I was. I didn’t need another man to juggle. “I’m good. You should go.”

  “Please, we need to talk and I’m not going anywhere.”

  “Ryan, he really wants Hudson,” Shona yelled from the back room.

  “Tell him Hudson has to go bye-bye and he’ll see him tomorrow.” I glanced at Hudson and saw the shock on his face. “I know you said you’d be around me twenty-four hours a day but you’re confusing him, Hudson. And since you were surprised I even had a child, I’m guessing Franco didn’t mention it to you. So, you signed on to this gig blind. You thought I was a guy and you didn’t know a little one depended on me. I’ll let Franco know this won’t work. Thank you though for—”

  “You and JP are stuck with me,” he said firmly, ice-cold determination in his expression. “Stop trying to get rid of me.”

  “But—”

  Cupping my face, he bent down and looked me dead in the eyes. “Darlin’, I’m not going anywhere. You’ve got me, like it or not. And JP has me too. I’ll protect you both without a second thought.”

  I took a deep, shaky breath and felt hot tears breaking free. I wasn’t sure where they came from but I know they were needed.

  “Well now, I know you think I’m a bit cocky, but is having me around all the time really that bad?” he asked, a teasing note to his voice.

  Laughing through the tears, I wrapped my arms around his waist and hugged him tight. His large arms wrapped around me and I felt safer than I’d felt before.

  “Hey, wait!”

  Hearing Shona’s voice, I turned in Hudson’s arms and saw James-Porter running full force at us, cookie in hand. Stopping at my leg, he looked up at Hudson with a frosting-covered face.

  “The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree,” Hudson said, winking at me before glancing down at James-Porter. “When I met your mommy, she looked the same way.”

  “Daddy, hold me.” James-Porter put his arms out signifying he wanted to be picked up.

  “I’m so sorry he keeps doing that.” I reached out and thrust my hand in Hudson’s front pocket. I did a silent thank you for not wishing the necklace away when I put his clothes back on him, and pulled it from his pocket.

  “Ryan,” Hudson said, sounding a bit strained.

  “Yes?”

  Hudson’s jaw was tight. “Could you not do that again until we’re alone? I’m having issues in that area.”

  When what he was saying hit me, I nodded. “Sorry, but I think I figured out why he keeps calling you daddy.”

  Hudson bent down and picked James-Porter up like he was a seasoned pro. “And why is that?”

  Putting the necklace back on over my head, I tucked it down into my shirt and smiled. “Because you had his father’s ring in your pocket.”

  James-Porter smiled wide and I felt his power reaching out for me. Before I could protest, he yanked me in tight to Hudson with his magik, effectively sandwiching the three of us together. “Daddy and Mommy kiss.”

  Hudson stared down at me with a warm, happy look on his face. “I’m going to grab Shona and get her started on that marriage thing for us.”

  Rolling my eyes, I rubbed James-Porter’s back. “James-Porter, he’s not Daddy. Mommy has the necklace back on. I’m sorry I confused you. I didn’t think—”

  Hudson grabbed me tight and looked down at me with wide eyes. “His name is James-Porter?”

  “Yes, James-Porter Carver, why?”

  “W-what?” He stared at me like I’d just announced I was really a dragon shifter in the body of a woman. “Ry-Mack, can I see the ring please?”

  My eyes widened as I drew in a sharp breath. “What did you just call me?”

  He thought about it for a moment and I sensed Porter near me. He touched my shoulder lightly and then I felt him kiss the top of my head in a loving manner.

  “I see you’ve made a new friend,” he said, his voice sounding very similar to Hudson’s. I hadn’t put that together prior.

  Strange.

  I smiled and turned slightly, my attention on the nothingness. “I have.”

  “You have what?” asked Hudson.

  Shona laughed. “She’s talking to Porter again. You’ll get used to it.”

  Hudson froze. “W-who?”

  “Porter,” said Shona. “Her Soul-Guardian.”

  Paling, Hudson glanced around wildly. “What the hell is going on?”

  “Tell him my name. My whole name,” said Porter, sounding amused.

  I wasn’t sure why he wanted me to do so but I did. “Hudson, he wants me to tell you he’s Porter James Carver, but I’m not sure why he’s insisting on that. I named JP after him. He’s JP’s godfather too.”

  “I’m more than that,” said Porter sternly, but he didn’t go on.

  “You think this is funny?” Hudson asked, hurt evident on his face. JP pushed on Hudson’s cheeks.

  “Smile, Daddy.” JP blinked long and hard. “Daddy sad. Why are you sad, Daddy? Did you have a potty acc-i-dent too? Want a cookie?”

  Confused, I found myself closing the gap between us and reaching for Hudson. He shied away from my touch and that hurt. He rubbed JP’s back, but shook his head. His rejection stung nearly as much as when I thought about Cowboy and how he’d never showed on the preordained date. Shaking the bad memories from my mind, I drew back, my stomach clenching. “I don’t think it’s funny. I don’t understand wha
t I did that made you mad.”

  He narrowed his gaze on me. “Did you get that name when you read me? Is that it? Is this a game to you? Huh?”

  “Game?” I asked, still not following.

  Shona pushed between us and wrenched JP from Hudson’s arms. She twisted and handed my son to me before facing Hudson. “You should go now.”

  “Ben checked in, making sure JP was okay,” Tess said, joining in, standing alongside Shona in a show of support. “Yes. You’re unable to see past the end of your nose at the moment, so leave. You’ve hurt her enough, Hudson. Don’t think I haven’t read all your thoughts. You know perfectly well what the tattoo means to you both. You know who you are to her, but you’re confused. Things don’t add up for you quite yet so you keep thinking you might be wrong. You’re hurt and angry that she brought up Porter’s name, but you’re failing to wrap your mind around the truth.”

  “What truth?” demanded Hudson, seeming even more riled.

  “He is an asshole,” bellowed Porter ferociously.

  I glanced to the side and sniffled through my need to cry. Porter was right. Hudson was being an asshole. “Yep. Looks to be one.”

  “Tell him I expected more of him,” said Porter each word punctuated. There was something there, something in his tone that said there was more to the story. More than just righteous indignation on my behalf. Whatever the reason being, Porter had earned my trust long ago.

  With a sigh, I repeated what Porter said to Hudson who continued to glare in my direction. He didn’t bother to hide the pain and anger on his face, or the fact he was disappointed in me. I didn’t understand why.

  “This isn’t a game, Ryan,” he warned, his lip curling in disgust. “You don’t get to play with someone’s emotions and pain. It’s a sign of immaturity and ignorance. And it’s low to drag your kid into this.”

  “Drag my what in what?” I asked not following. I kissed the top of my son’s head, still befuddled as to why Hudson was behaving this way.

  Porter wrapped his arms around me and held both JP and me in place with a loving embrace. “Ignore him. He’s hot-headed and stubborn.”

  JP looked to my side at the nothingness and smiled. I wondered if he saw what even I couldn’t. He often interacted with Porter as if he could see him. Maybe he could.

  JP’s grin widened and he did a rather long blink in the direction I knew Porter to be. “Uncle Porter.”

  Hudson shook his head. “This is too much.”

  “Then leave,” I said clearly. No way I was allowing there to be any wiggle room on my wishes. I wanted him gone.

  JP twisted in my arms, putting his arms out to Hudson. “Daddy want to play?”

  Hudson recoiled. “No.”

  I rubbed JP’s back more, my gaze narrowing on Hudson. It was one thing for him to be short and rude to me. It was an entirely different matter for him to be so to my son. “Don’t let the door hit you in the backside on the way out, Guardian.”

  “Yes,” said Tess, coming closer to me. She pointed to the entrance of the club. “You should go now. You’re not the man I thought you were. I expected better. More.”

  A snort broke free from me. I’d long ago stopped expecting anything from men. They liked to make promises they didn’t keep, and they were never around when you needed them most. I watched out for me and my own. I didn’t need anyone else to do so. “Go.”

  Hudson took a long, deep breath and shook his head. “I can’t.”

  I noticed he didn’t say he didn’t want to. Only that he couldn’t.

  “I’ll let Franco know its not working out,” I snapped, my face hot with anger and my stomach still a mess. Hearing Hudson call me immature and ignorant stung more than it should. I’d had one hell of a maturity wake-up call three years back and had been fighting nearly every day since. I didn’t need some random guy to show up and lecture me. Not with what I’d gone through. Not with what I was still going through. I didn’t even have the energy to argue with him. Lowering my gaze, I nodded and sank against Porter’s embrace. “I’m tired.”

  “You used too much power today,” he scolded, his hands on my shoulders, rubbing them gently. “You need to rest.”

  Instantly, my arms tightened on James-Porter’s back. “I’m fine. Besides, I already missed three hours with him today. I don’t want to spend any more time away from him than I have to.”

  Tess sighed. “Ryan, it’s okay to not spend every moment with him. We all know what to do if anything happens. We’ll call you, Jude and now Hudson, too. Let JP play a little bit.”

  “No, don’t call Hudson.” My lips pressed in suppressed anger as I glanced in Hudson’s direction. “He’s leaving and not coming back.”

  “That’s right. Now get.” Shona put her hands on her hips and focused on Hudson. “Jerk.”

  Hudson gritted his teeth. “Blondie, you have no idea what it is she’s playing at. Porter isn’t here. He can’t be here. He’s been dead for nearly a hundred years.”

  I paused, swaying in place, exhaustion seeping over me. I knew what was happening, but I didn’t want to acknowledge it. “Wait? You know Porter?”

  Porter huffed, his patience with the situation clearly worn beyond thin. “I’m starting to think he’s a total stranger to me.”

  JP clapped and began to sing about his uncle and father, a made-up song that didn’t have any rhyme or reason. He wiggled to get down and I let him. He ran to Hudson, went around him, who was still sitting on the floor, and then peeked out from behind him, singing his made up song.

  Hudson growled, the sound low but there.

  I made a move to go for my son, fearful Hudson’s anger may spill over to JP. Shona beat me to it, sweeping JP up in her arms and moving him from Hudson. She came and stood next to me, glaring daggers at Hudson in the process. “Jerk.”

  Hudson ignored her, his gaze on me. “I knew Porter. He’s dead. Long dead. And damn you for toying with that memory and taking from it.”

  Tess surprised me by tossing her magik at Hudson and shoving him a good one.

  JP giggled. “Bad Daddy.”

  Tess’s magik knocked Hudson over with ease. As he landed on his backside, she moved forward, pointing at him with one hand, the other was clenched in a tight fist. I couldn’t recall a time I’d seen her this angry. “No, damn you, Hudson Carver.”

  That made me take notice. His last name was Carver? Like Porter’s last name? “Wait? What? You’re related to Porter?”

  Porter groaned. “Idiot is my brother.”

  Blinking in surprise, I looked over at the nothingness, wishing I could see his face. “Hold up, you’re Hudson’s brother?”

  “I very much want to deny it at the moment,” said Porter.

  Sweat trickled down my spine as my energy drained faster and faster. I was thankful Shona was holding JP. I wasn’t sure I could have continued to.

  Tess kept pointing at Hudson. “Ryan has lived her entire life teetering on the edge of death. It stands to reason she’d be gifted a spirit guide if you will—a protector who would dance the edges of death with her, ready to guide her powerful soul upon its departure. And what better man than a man who has connections to her mate?”

  I swayed, the toll of the day taking hold of me. My concentration was affected, as was often the case when I let myself get this drained. I tried to make sense of what Tess was saying, though it was pointless. My brain was fast becoming a haze. I had caught on to one part and I wasn’t about to let it go. “Porter, you’re related to my mate too?”

  He laughed, but didn’t sound amused. “I am. He’s an asshole.”

  “You think everyone is one today.”

  “Nope. Just one guy.” He was quiet a moment. “Show him the ring, Ryan.”

  “I don’t want to. I want him to leave,” I said, needing to rest. I was close to collapsing and it was taking all of me to stay upright. I just wanted Hudson gone. If I’d have had the energy, I’d have connected mystically with Franco and insisted he order H
udson out of the club.

  Tess glanced over her shoulder at me, her brows meeting. “What does Porter want you to do?”

  “Show Hudson the ring Cowboy gave to me to always have a tie to him.”

  Hudson stopped glowering and got to his feet slowly, dusting off his backside for effect before trying to come for me. He found his path blocked by two angry females. He looked past them. “Can I see the ring, please?”

  “No.” I held my head high. “See yourself out.”

  “We need to talk,” he said, a note of desperation in his voice.

  I snorted.

  JP giggled more. “Yes. You were bad, Daddy. No cookies for you.”

  Hudson paused before JP and Shona gave him the hairy eyeball. JP grinned up at Hudson who in turn touched his cheek. Hudson offered a warm smile to JP. “No cookies for me, huh?”

  “No cookies if you’re bad,” answered JP.

  Shona grunted. “He was very bad. No cookies for like ever.”

  I swayed and this time lost my footing momentarily, nearly falling but only staggering slightly. Hudson stared past Tess and Shona at me, questions forming on his face. “Ryan?”

  “Go,” I repeated, feeling like a broken record.

  “If she doesn’t rest,” Tess said to Hudson, “she will shut down. Literally. She’s already starting to. It begins with her losing her balance and then progresses on from there. She needs to drink some fruit juice. Sometimes, she can’t keep even water down. That is when Jude comes in to help, but he isn’t here now.”

  “Wait? What?” asked Hudson, his eyes widening.

  “She is dying, Hudson,” said Tess firmly. “Ryan’s body is shutting down. It has been for a long time. When her mate rejected his claim on her by asking another to marry him…” she paused for what felt like dramatic effect, “he signed her death warrant. Having JP added to the strain. And while I know she wouldn’t change having had him, he was too much on her already taxed system. Carrying him accelerated her condition. She is on borrowed time. We all know it. She likes to pretend it’s not true, but it is. It’s why you’re here. Franco knows it. So does Jude.”

  The color drained from Hudson’s face. “What? No. I didn’t get married.”

  Shona gasped. “Wait? You? You’re him?”