Tidings of Love

by Alicia Hunter Pace

  Clara smiled slightly. “Aunt Martha’s there?”

  “Yes, looks like she brought—oh! Give me a minute. I have to pop something in the oven.” The phone made a jarring noise as it was dropped.

  Clara frowned and plucked at a loose thread in the hem of her skirt. A few long minutes passed before she heard the phone being picked up again. “Mom? Is everything alright?”

  “What? Oh, yes, it’s fine. Just hectic as usual. I have your father peeling potatoes, so I have a free minute. But how are things over there? Is it beautiful weather?”

  Clara gave a strained smile. “Busy here too, Mom. Sometimes I think the closer to Christmas we get, the crazier people are. Today, I had to console a guest over this stupid issue with the—”

  “Martha, just put the pie over there. Yes, it’s good to see you too. Richard, please just give me a minute, I’m on the phone with Clara! Sorry, honey. Sometimes I think your father simply cannot function without me constantly holding his hand. What were you saying?” Her mother only paused for a second, not giving Clara enough time to answer. “Well, we all knew it would be busier there, right? I mean, if you’re going to take a Christmas vacation, Hawaii’s the perfect place, right?”

  No, Clara’s brain stubbornly insisted, but she managed to hold her tongue. Nobody would understand her complaining about having to spend the holiday in paradise. Not even her own mother. “Yeah, you’re right. But I feel like I’m just getting used to this place, and now I’m suddenly slammed with so much. I just wish…” Clara trailed off as she heard someone talking in the background to her mother, it sounded like her uncle had just showed up and couldn’t find a place to park on the street. Then her father was back with some other problem, and her mom had to put the phone down again.

  Clara sighed and waited again on the line, listening to the house slowly filling with her relatives. She could hear her brother’s loud laughter and jeering tone, probably already picking a fight with Uncle Dave. One of her small cousins was throwing some sort of fit, and behind it all, she could hear the sound of the door opening and closing, bringing in more noise and chaos.

  Their home was always bursting at the seams on Christmas Eve and Day, with people trying to fill their plates with food, catch up with relatives they haven’t seen in months, and entertain the kids who just wanted to open presents. Despite the chaos, there had always been the undercurrent of comforting warmth. It was like a blanket wrapped around them all for a couple of special days, bringing them closer than any other time of year.

  Clara had hoped that feeling would traverse the four-thousand-plus miles over the telephone line, but somehow it wasn’t working.

  When her mom came back on the line, she couldn’t talk for long. There was too much to do, and Clara knew she should be getting back to work soon anyway. They promised to call later, when things died down slightly between Christmas and New Years, but Clara couldn’t help but feel a little hollow.

  Hanging up, she leaned her head against the back of her chair, closing her eyes. She didn’t know what she should have expected from the call. But she knew she had wished it would bring her spirits up a bit. Even if she couldn’t be home for Christmas, at least she should have been able to absorb that warmth she so desperately craved.

  Now it felt like…like Christmas didn’t even exist. This was just another fully booked day, stressful, annoying, and hard. Maybe Clara’s memories of home were a little clouded by nostalgia, but everything just seemed…wrong. The bitter feeling settled deeply in her stomach and Clara forced herself to sit up, turn off the car, and prepare herself for a really long afternoon and evening.

  As she began walking back to the employee entrance, she was momentarily distracted by someone running up behind her. She didn’t even turn as Kai practically bounced next to her, nudging her shoulder in excitement. She flinched at the action, really not in the mood to deal with him.

  “Hey there, darling! Pumped for the festivities tonight?” His voice was too loud.

  Clara rubbed her forehead with two fingers. “Kai, I’m only warning you once. Just back off, okay?”

  Her words, or maybe the way she spat them out, made his steps hesitate. “Is it that bad already?” His words were oddly soft and she looked at him.

  His brows were furrowed and his eyes examined her closely. If Clara didn’t know better, she’d almost think he was looking at her with concern. But Kai just didn’t do serious emotions. “It’s fine. Normal. Perfect. That’s why I’m here, Kai, cause I wanted a high traffic resort. I wanted a more challenging job. I wanted this.” She knew she was being annoyingly bitter, but she couldn’t will the bad attitude away. Clara practically slapped her I.D. against the keypad, opening the door to the back entrance of the resort.

  She didn’t even look at Kai. Instead, she marched back into her office and took a deep breath, determined to be professional and do her job. She’d make sure every guest at the resort had a perfect damn Christmas—even if it killed her.

  Though Clara was only supposed to work a normal nine-to-five day, it seemed impossible during the holidays with so much to do. Hours later, she found herself with her head on her desk, staring at the clock on the corner of her computer screen. If she had felt bad after her lunch break, it was nothing to how much she hurt now. Her eyes were dry and heavy from staring at her screen and her shoulders sore from slumping over the keyboard. She felt like she had been run through the lawn mower. And not just any lawn mower, the industrial kind that has multiple rotating blades that people need special licenses to drive.

  Clara just kept imagining that if she were home, everything would be better. She would be helping with the meal and washing the dishes, and afterwards, she’d join her young nephews and cousins to put finishing touches on the Christmas tree. Then, just before bed, she would share a cup of chamomile tea with her mother at the kitchen table and joke about the amount of snow they would have to shovel in the morning. It would be positively heaven to have that quiet and stillness, those two cups of tea near midnight, and she felt a painful twinge in her chest at the thought.

  Of course, by now everyone at home was asleep. On the island, it was only an hour until midnight, but it was far from peaceful. Her cell phone seemed to be buzzing every five minutes with a new complaint or problem. Kai’s Christmas Eve party had officially ended more than an hour ago. But the guests were now having their own party at the pool deck.

  Even from her office, Clara could hear them yelling and laughing. Luckily the DJ had packed up and gone home. It seemed like a good idea. Sitting up and stretching, she powered down her computer. Then she dragged her aching body to her car, trying to avoid making eye contact with anyone she passed.

  She rubbed her face wearily and wished for some minor illness to strike her. Not that she could take the day off. Martha could smell a slacker from a mile away. But, at the very least, Clara could infect her. Then she would pass out and be sent home.

  She grinned at the thought as she unlocked her car and slid inside. Too bad there was no snow or cold of any kind outside to help her catch the flu and bring this dream to fruition. But once she started the engine, she was feeling melancholic again. This was Christmas Eve, after all. She shouldn’t be looking forward to going straight to bed and then waking to another day at work. She should be feeling excited for another Christmas. She should be at home, and feeling at home.

  Clara rested her head against the steering wheel. She wasn’t one to cry, but right now, tired and stressed, she felt like she just might. There was no way she could face herself in the morning if she let a bit of homesickness make her finally crack. Especially, after an entire day of barely managing keeping herself together. She was going to do something about it, even if it was silly or crazy or stupid.

  So instead of driving towards her apartment, she pulled out of the parking lot and began to drive towards the ocean. Not the resort beachfront—she couldn’t bear any more guest interaction tonight—but a local beach she knew of less than ten mi
nutes away.

  The nice aspect about the Island’s public, local beaches was that they always were secluded. Tourists tended to migrate towards the famous beaches or resort fronts where they were staying. Only the people who lived in Hawaii knew where the really good beaches were. They were not long stretches of pristine white sand, shaded by perfectly placed palm trees. Those were called “plastic beaches” by the locals: artificial, stereotypical, and nothing like a real Hawaiian beach. A real beach was rocky, cluttered, and full of ocean debris.

  They were the beaches where you could see the old rippled lava that formed them. Or where you might be unintentionally swimming with huge schools of colorful fish or even sea turtles. They were the place you needed swimming shoes so you wouldn’t cut your feet on the harsh edges. A place where people wore surfing shirts instead of bikinis. A place where people spearfished and snorkeled. They were beautiful in a wild fashion that was anything but comfortable, yet somehow better because of it.

  Clara pulled into the parking lot of the first local beach she found. There was another car there, but she felt confident she could handle that much for the pleasure of a mostly secluded beach. Ditching her heels and nylons, she stepped carefully over the sand. The sound of the waves crashing over the rocks was soothing after the cacophony back at the resort. The ink-dark sky merged with the ocean, and only the whitecaps of the waves glowed under the almost full moon. The shallow waterline of the beach was dotted with rocks, so Clara stayed on shore, just walking up and down the small area of soft sand.

  It was completely peaceful, and the night was cool finally. Sighing and holding her hair before it became too windblown, Clara decided to forgive Hawaii for having such un-Christmas like weather. This was exactly what she needed after a stressful day.

  As her eyes adjusted to the dark, she noticed a moving figure far out in the breakwater. Squinting in the darkness, Clara discerned it wasn’t some monstrous fish, but a person and a surfboard.

  She had never surfed in her life, but Clara wondered if doing so after midnight wasn’t more than a little dangerous. How could the person see anything? What if a shark attacked him? Somewhat mesmerized by the sight, she found herself watching the person surf back to shore. He did it so gracefully and effortlessly. Maybe he—or she, though she figured a woman would have too much sense to go surfing in the dark—didn’t need light to catch a good wave, but could simply feel it forming in the ocean around them. Eventually the silhouette resolved itself into a man, who made it to the shallow water and hopped off the surfboard.

  What she didn’t expect was that the man, carrying his surfboard through the shallows, would be Kai. Even in the dark, he immediately recognized her. “Clara!” he exclaimed and jogged over to meet her.

  She frowned at him, wondering at his excitement. “How did you know it was me?”

  He reached forward and tugged at her red hair. “I could recognize this siren color anywhere.”

  She yanked back her hair, wishing she had something to tie it back. It was completely tangled from the wind. “What are you doing out here?” she snapped, uncomfortable that her peace was broken.

  He smiled, pushing his wet hair from his head. “I’m pretty sure you were watching close enough to figure it out.”

  She sighed. “I know you were surfing. I meant why you are out here now, this late at night?”

  “Night surfing can be pretty amazing, you know? It gets your senses all heightened. And with the moon almost full like this, it can make some pretty awesome waves.” He motioned to the surfboard. “You wanna try?”

  She shuddered. “No, I’ve had enough excitement for one night.”

  Kai chuckled. “They finally kicked you out, eh?”

  Clara stiffened, feeling defensive. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  Kai shrugged. “Just some of the girls working at the front desk were taking bets on when you would collapse. Or explode.” He mockingly scrutinized her closely. “Seems you’re still intact and conscious, so it looks like I win the pot.”

  Clara sighed, suddenly finding she no longer had the energy to work up a real fit. “And what was your bet?” she asked, tiredly.

  He leaned forward, grinning. “That as much as you might moan and bitch today, tomorrow you’ll come in looking even better than before.”

  Clara raised an eyebrow, dubious about his authenticity. “And how do you know you’ll win? It’s not tomorrow, yet.”

  Kai chuckled deeply. “Actually, it is well past midnight. So technically tomorrow is today.” He suddenly reached out and tucked a wayward lock of hair behind her ear. The action was so sudden and brief, Clara didn’t have time to react before he was back to leaning on his surfboard. “And you already look much better.”

  Clara flushed, feeling equal parts flattered and ashamed. It was true; she did feel more at peace. And maybe she would feel even better by the morning when she realized that for all the stress, problems, and general chaos, it had been a successful evening. No one got hurt and most of the guests seemed to enjoy themselves, if the late-night party was any sign. For her first Christmas rush in a new location, it really could have been much worse.

  Suddenly, Clara felt shamed by her perpetually sour mood. She wanted to apologize to Sarah and David at the front desk, who’d gotten the brunt of her sharper edges this evening. She wanted to apologize to the dozen or so guests for not smiling enough to them, when they had so much fun that their feedback would probably make Martha very happy that she had hired Clara in the first place. And she should really apologize to Kai, who she had been treating like shit long before her Christmas meltdown.

  But when she looked up at him, he didn’t look like he was waiting for an apology. Or that he even thought he needed one. He just looked relaxed, like he knew exactly what was going through Clara’s head, and that she didn’t mean half the things she said.

  “Kai, I-,” she started speaking before she knew what she was saying. “Uh…I’m glad you arranged the party tonight. It was…really helpful.” She grimaced at her awkwardness.

  But Kai smiled at her, and it was different from his smiles before. It was softer, more open, and Clara looked away until he seemed to school himself back into his usual slick persona. “Glad to be of service, mistress. But I have to ask, what are you doing out here anyway?” He leaned forward slightly, grinning, one eyebrow cocked suggestively. “Or could you not miss a chance to see me shirtless and wet in the moonlight?”

  Clara sneered, but there was no longer any heat in her. Well, not the angry, bitchy sort of heat anyway. As she couldn’t stop her eyes from wandering to his bare chest, another sort of heat filled her instead. Kai really did have the finest body she had seen in a very long time. From his wide face and that easy smile he permanently wore, to his tousled black hair and bright eyes. And with the moonlight highlighting the drops of sea water gliding down the smooth muscles… Clara knew she really needed to get some sleep before she got any more irrational.

  Hoping he didn’t notice her staring, Clara stepped back. “Definitely not. I was just getting some fresh air after work. That’s all.”

  His grin turned into something more impish and she knew he had caught her staring. “Hmm, and you just so happened to find the beach where I am at?”

  She rubbed her forehead. “You’re a pig-headed brat. Did you know that?” She suddenly stopped, wondering if she should check herself.

  But Kai just laughed. “Yeah, I’ve been called that,” He said easily. It was as if they were just sharing some inside joke between friends. And maybe, Clara realized, they were.

  She kept thinking she didn’t have any friends in Hawaii. That there was no one here she could connect with like at home. But out of everyone at the resort, Kai didn’t look down at her for being an unprepared mainlander. Sure, he teased her about how she couldn’t perceive the “cold weather” of Hawaii. But it wasn’t like Jane, who legitimately didn’t understand why Clara wouldn’t tan like the rest of them or why she liked cold and s
now. Not that she had talked deeply about these things with Kai, he just never treated her differently for it. And sometimes, he just seemed to intuitively understand her.

  “Not enough, I think.” She joked back, but quickly felt a little self-conscious and began to make her way back to the parking lot. Unconsciously, she slumped a little as she walked, wishing more than ever to be home, if only to have a familiar bed to fall into when she was as bone tired as this.

  “Where are you going?” Now he was following her.

  “My apartment, where else?” At another time, her comment probably would have had more bite. But now, now she was beginning to sound more than a little pathetic.

  “Hey, are you…?” He stared at her and his strange expression made her distinctly uncomfortable.

  “Am I what?” He looked at her seriously, but didn’t answer right away. She didn’t know what his angle was now, but fortunately they reached the parking lot. She in the process of unlocking her car, and Kai was mounting his surfboard to the roof of his, when he spoke, “What are you doing for Christmas?”

  She opened her door. “Working.”

  He frowned seriously. “You’ve got nothing else?”

  She sat down heavily in her seat. “My family lives thousands of miles away. What do you think?”

  Kai was suddenly at her door, keeping her from closing it. “You don’t have anyone else? No boyfriend or anything?”

  Clara really didn’t want to have this conversation right now. “Kai, please, I just want to go to my apartment and pass out.”

  He ignored her pleading tone. “What do you want for Christmas?”

  The random question threw her. “What?”

  Kai rolled his eyes at her like she was the one who was being dumb. “What do you want for Christmas? Like, more than anything?”

  “Why?”

  He shrugged. “Maybe I wanna get you something?” His voice was light, and she suddenly wondered if he was nervous. But Kai and nervous just couldn’t exist in the same thought.