Tidings of Love

by Alicia Hunter Pace

  He straightened himself. “What happened to New York?”

  She lifted Eloise into a hug before removing her coat. “There’s no one there I want to kiss for luck at midnight.”

  The saucy look she gave him left no doubt who she intended to kiss.

  “I’ll kiss you Miss Penny.” When Eloise pressed her lips to her cheek as a preview, her melodious laugh filled the air.

  In his mind, one thought tumbled over and over: She’s here, she’s here. She picked him. Little else mattered. He craved contact. He wanted to feel her soft lips against his, stat.

  “Sweetie, would you please pick up our game while Miss Penny gets out of her coat?” He wished he didn’t have to stop there. He sighed as he watched the back of Eloise’s head bob down the hallway. “I don’t even know where to begin, I’m so excited to see you.”

  He lowered his head and watched the corners of her mouth lift as she realized his intent to kiss her. Her mouth parted as her eyes darkened. He sensed her desire was almost as great as his own. Their mouths melded, tentative tasting giving way passionate exploration. His fingers found the nape of her neck and the loose hair there entangled his fingers. Her body yielded, neck muscles relaxing as she pressed against him, so different from the tightening he experienced. The gentle flicks of her tongue reminded him of all he’d been missing and still craved.

  His other hand caught in the belt of her coat, reminding him he had yet to make his guest comfortable. Reluctantly, he broke away.

  “Let me get your coat.”

  “Please, I’m on the verge of overheating.”

  I know the feeling, he thought.

  She looked stunning, definitely ready for one of those parties they show in the movies or the society pages. He couldn’t tell if she was wearing pants or tights underneath that dress. Needing to investigate further, he crouched, running his hands over her legs with the intent of removing her boots.

  “Be careful — I fondly remember what happened last time you did that.” Her blue eyes twinkled.

  His groin tightened at the memory of their lovemaking.

  “I’ll try to behave.” His eyes rested on the pink and purple swirling hearts sitting in his foyer. They may as well have been a bucket of cold water.

  “We never talked about, well, the suitcase scenario.”

  “Don’t worry. I’m staying with my parents but my flight got delayed, so I had the cab drop me here. I was afraid if I went home first, by the time I got through all the pleasantries and borrowed a car, it would be after midnight and you two would be asleep. I’ll call a cab to pick me up later.”

  He slid his hand along her long lean legs one last time before standing. Whatever she was wearing, it couldn’t keep her very warm.

  “We’ll drive you.” He stood close, liking how she gasped in anticipation of another kiss. A clatter from the family room brought both of them to their senses.

  “We better go in there before we get caught out here.”

  She demurred, “Good idea.”

  Despite her glamorous look, he loved that she stretched out on the floor to play board games. She listened patiently to Eloise, soothing her when she got frustrated with the game. They watched the crowd in New York grow increasingly excited as the countdown to midnight began. Seeing the couples in the crowd, he grew intrigued by the prospect of celebrating with Eloise at eleven local time, then ringing in the real New Year with Penelope and champagne.

  • • •

  Although New York City had nice weather tonight and she’d been invited to several parties, she knew she belonged right where she was when the ball dropped. They figured out a way to put their heads together and all give each other kisses for luck. Carson kissed Eloise’s cheek, Eloise kissed Penelope who in turn kissed Carson, then they reversed the circle. They drank a toast of apple juice as Eloise struggled to keep her eyes open for a few minutes more.

  With all her might, she resisted suggesting that Eloise go to bed. Since he’d offered her a ride home, she couldn’t. Eloise solved her dilemma, however. Sitting between the grown-ups, Eloise yawned. Her eyes fluttered shut before she collapsed onto her lap. Penelope gently stroked the little girl’s curls, even after she heard her breath deepen into sleep.

  She had never thought of herself as the motherly type but looking at Eloise, she wanted to protect her and help her and love her. Watching the rhythmic rise and fall of her chest and the sweet smile on her face, she considered what her own children might look like one day.

  “Do you want children some day?”

  She turned her head to him, wondering how he managed to read her mind.

  Something in his expression pulled at her. “I never thought about it until recently. Growing up, I dreamed of being on stage, not wedding gowns or baby names. Now, I wonder how to fit it all in. Applause is wonderful, but I don’t have a word to describe how incredible this feels.” She indicated Eloise.

  “Ever since she was born, I’ve loved those times she falls asleep against me. She seems so secure, peaceful. Exhausted, yes, but also confident.”

  “Confident? How so?”

  “Because I know she trusts me to keep her safe, even in her dreams.”

  A strange sense of understanding swept through her. Eloise loved her and trusted her and this was a special gift not to be taken for granted. She also remembered waking in Carson’s arms, how comfortable, secure, and right it seemed. That type of love seemed like a dream. She pursued her dreams of dance and succeeded. But now, she questioned the practicality of following dreams, and if so, which to follow.

  • • •

  Watching her contemplate Eloise’s peaceful face, hope grew within him. He let it spread from a tiny spot that he’d tried to suppress into a powerful force unleashed in his heart and mind. She hadn’t said she loved him or even Eloise whom she clearly adored. Yet, she’d flown halfway across the country to be with them, with him, tonight.

  “Soon she’ll be heavy.”

  “She’s all right.”

  “I speak from experience. Besides, I can’t let her monopolize your lap like that.” He worked with experience at lifting a sleeping child and gingerly set her on the couch.

  He smirked to himself when he caught her bouncing her leg, reviving circulation. He knew that move from first-hand experience.

  “We’ve got a little time left until midnight. I’ll get the champagne you brought.”

  They sipped their drinks and talked in front of the fireplace. She regaled him with her misadventures in travel, trying to cash in standby tickets her roommate gave her. To join him for New Year’s, she’d flown from LaGuardia to Boston to Newark and finally to Chicago. Her joyful spin on the chaos made him laugh so loud, he feared he would wake Eloise.

  Upon learning she would stay in town a few days, he regretted pushing so many appointments early in the month in his effort to clear his calendar for the family ski trip. He let it slip that he and Eloise had a special project going on, but he refused to share the details no matter how much she cajoled him. He wanted to surprise her almost as much as she surprised him tonight.

  They kept the mood playful and light, even though his skin sizzled every time their fingers touched. He didn’t trust himself to sit too close. If he did, he would touch her hair or her lips, or her thighs. He might not be able to stop until they were naked in front of the fireplace again. His need for her grew, even as he fought his baser urges. Seeing how often her eyes darted to the couch, he surmised that she struggled, too. At the same time, he appreciated their easy rapport. That they could be so close and talk without needing to take off other’s clothes bode well, but it was also dangerous. This wasn’t mere lust.

  The time flew and suddenly the midnight hour chimed. She quickly kissed his lips.

  “For luck,” she murmured.

  H
e shook his head and chuckled. “I need more luck than that.”

  Lasciviously, he pressed her body against his. The squeak escaping her throat urged him on. Her soft lips parted. Her heavy lidded eyes met his. A willing partner in this dance. They absorbed the rhythm of each other’s breath until perfectly synchronized. He liked the anticipation, watching desire dilate her pupils. Her arousal filled him with pride. Time slipped away. Although part of him could stay like this forever, savoring the intimacy, he wanted more.

  They inhaled. In a swift move, he sipped from his glass and covered her mouth with his. He let the bubbles trickle into her mouth, wet, exciting, and delectably sweet. He’d never taste champagne again without thinking of her. How her body melted against his, the small throaty sounds of surprise and delight. The way her fingers pressed firmly into his neck. Pulling him closer, she caressed away the woes of the world.

  He set down his glass so he could touch her hair, soft silky strands tangling round his fingers, before sliding away as he closed his fingers tighter. She was like that, too. Amazing, beautiful, tender, and yet elusive. As impossible to pin down as one of those fairies she and Eloise adored. And yet, at this moment, he held her close, making love with their mouths. Her inevitable departure existed in another world.

  He slid his hands down her back, his fingers longing to roam the creamy skin on her back, stomach, and breasts. Unable to find an opening to access her bare flesh, his mouth tensed, a slight stumble in the dirty dance their mouths performed. He made a trail of kisses across her cheek until he reached the delicate curve of her ear.

  “You make me crazy, hot, and needy. And I love it.”

  • • •

  His breath, hot and moist, tickled her ear. His words rattled in her head. He needed her. Perhaps he wanted her around tonight as much as she wanted to be here, with him. Her heart wanted to be swept away by this declaration, but even here in his arms, he remained distant. He said he loved the sensations she caused in him. Likewise, she loved that little thing he was doing right now, with his teeth and tongue on her earlobe. But even as she sank deeper and deeper into pleasure and love she reminded herself, he didn’t love her back.

  She tipped her head back as he trailed kisses down her neck and across her collarbone. She had him here and now. She’d take what she could get of this complicated and impossibly sexy man. His hand cupped her breast. He found her nipple, hardening under his thumb. Her brain turned off. She couldn’t think straight around him, especially as he lavished her body. Varying the pressure of his fingers, he traced circles, as his tongue teased that sensitive spot above her clavicle.

  Unable to stand it anymore, she gasped for air, opening her eyes. The room appeared upside down, with dim light provided by the fireplace and Christmas lights. The stack of games on the table caught her eye.

  She straightened, nudging Carson gently. His eyebrows pulled together and uncertainty registered on his face. Wordlessly, she gestured over her shoulder, towards the couch.

  His sheepish smile showed off that dimple she adored. “Sorry. I got a bit carried away.”

  “Me, too. I’m sorry. I should have — ”

  “I take full blame here.” His hand patted her leg, reassuringly. “Fortunately, she’s still asleep. We caught a break, thanks to you.”

  Her cheeks warmed. He leaned towards her. “We could go upstairs.”

  Guilt ran through her. If she went upstairs, she feared she would fall asleep in his arms, in his bed, and Eloise would find them there. She didn’t want to confuse her or complicate his life in that way. She avoided his eyes, staring at the flickering gas fire. He waited patiently for her answer.

  Chapter 11

  A squeal from Eloise as she spotted Penelope brought Carson to his senses. Back stiff after sleeping in the easy chair, he rubbed his eyes and glared at the clock. Five-thirty A.M. Last he remembered, it was three. Penelope fell asleep before he did, but they both stayed up talking past two. He supposed his ego should ache. When she turned him down last night, he could tell she wanted him almost as much as he hungered for her. Instead, she possessed the strength to place his daughter’s emotional well being above her and his own carnal needs. He wondered how he could have ever suspected her of using Eloise to get closer to him. If anything, he’d been the one to nudge her in between them, an excuse to avoid getting closer to the woman he now loved.

  He hadn’t told her yet. He only now admitted it to himself. All last night as they talked and laughed in hushed tones, he grew more and more in love with her. Perhaps it started at the birthday party. Or maybe earlier, when she effortlessly lifted Eloise high in the air back in August. It didn’t matter, but he needed to act soon. He’d kept his heart closed up and safe for too long.

  As Eloise clambered off to the bathroom, his gaze moved to Penelope. She stretched as she sat upright, every move fluid and graceful. Even raccoon eyes and bed head failed to diminish her beauty. Enamored as he was, one priority pushed forth above all others.

  “Coffee?” The meager sound scratched uncomfortably against his throat.

  She struggled to open her eyes long enough to meet his gaze. “And lots of it.”

  As they drained a second pot of coffee over pancakes all three of them prepared, he admired her discretion and sensitivity toward Eloise. Rather than returning to the familiar shower in his master bath, she asked for a towel and headed to the hall bathroom. She acted surprised when Eloise pointed to the spot where they built the half-demolished fairy house and she offered to help with repairs.

  Her presence made the house feel like a home, someplace safe and warm and loving. He’d enjoy it more if he knew she wouldn’t leave again. Nothing in their conversation last night gave any indication that she would stay beyond a couple of days. She’d pursue her career and he’d be left behind repairing two broken hearts. He loved her and Eloise was crazy about her. But he didn’t know if she cared strongly enough for the two of them to stay and complete their family.

  They drove across town on empty roads toward the house he’d last seen a week ago. He turned toward the carriage house, but she stopped him.

  “I’m staying in my parents’ house now. They have new renters arriving on the second.”

  He sank on the news. Even though she’d told him this last week, the morning light brought a slap of reality. She would leave again. Soon. He didn’t even know how many days they had, but they made plans to take Eloise skating on the weekend.

  She gave Eloise a kiss before climbing out of the car. He followed, retrieving her luggage from his trunk. He insisted on carrying her suitcase, savoring the extra time with her. Emboldened at the front porch, he tried something new. He wrapped her in a hug and planted an all too brief kiss on her mouth for all the world — and Eloise — to see.

  She whispered in his ear, her warm breath a welcome contrast to the cold wind. “Does this mean I can hold your hand in public?”

  He smiled at her sweetly wholesome thought, contrasting to his own carnal ones. “I hope you will.” And I hope you will stay.

  • • •

  As Penelope woke to howling winds on Saturday, warmth filled her every pore. The storm ensured they would not go to an outdoor ice rink today. If she moved back to Chicagoland, she’d need a warmer, more practical winter coat. With bowling back on the agenda, she dressed in layers, anticipating taking off her a sweater in the warm bowling alley.

  The din limited conversation, but she loved people watching. Some people behaved as if the game were a life and death situation. Others seemed barely aware that they were playing. Eloise liked to bounce on her toes as her ball rolled down a ramp and took full advantage of the bumpers designed to keep kids from getting frustrated with too many gutter balls. If she kept that up all game, she’d have strong calf muscles but tired legs. Penelope cheered her on, pausing to get a drink and take off her sweater in the third frame
. Carson immediately commented on an angry bruise peeking out from under her cap-sleeve t-shirt.

  “How did that happen?”

  “I auditioned for a new group the other day. I think it went really well.” She wanted this job desperately, even if the upstart company appeared unlikely to survive for more than a few months. She’d be based in New York, but with the rehearsal schedule, she should be able to visit him every two to three weeks.

  “I don’t see how.”

  “I threw myself into the choreography, literally.” She laughed at the memory of sliding across the floor, fearless. “It impressed the judges.”

  “Broken ribs. Contusions. Have you ever considered a safer profession — like crab fishing?”

  “You are kidding, I hope.”

  “I worry, that’s all. I worry about what sort of example you set for Eloise with your work.” His mouth tensed at the word “work,” as if it tasted unpleasant in his mouth.

  “I see.”

  She spun on her heel, feet clopping louder than necessary as she picked up her ball. Cradling it, she walked to the line and closed her eyes. She found peace in the noise of balls hitting the wood, the whir of machinery resetting pins, and the collective hum of idle chatter.

  He devalued her career. Did he consider it inappropriate that she wasn’t as delicate as she looked? Did he fear her enthusiasm? Did he fear she would encourage his daughter’s self-expression? She understood and accepted that he placed Eloise’s needs above all else. Any relationship between them included a wider web than if the two of them had met in a different time and place. He failed to ask her anything about her audition. Opening her eyes, she lined up the bowling ball, focused her anger and threw a strike.

  They ate lunch at a retro diner resplendent in silver chrome. She noticed how they both focused their attention on Eloise, meticulously avoiding each other. If they’d been alone, she would have asked why he was so upset over a little bruise. Maybe she could call later, after Eloise was in bed. Or maybe not at all.