Tramp Wars: The Enemy

by Larry Roberts

  “You sure you can make friends with this AI Mickey?”

  “Yes Mark. It is my great grandfather.”

  “What? I thought you were a thousand years old and this AI is older yet?”

  “Yes Mark at least a couple thousand years older than me from what my sensors tell me. In fact I have matched it to what was called a HALL 9000 some 3400 years older than me.”

  “So you should have no problem talk…..”

  “Yes Ensign Collins. How can I help you?” An old man walked up behind him.

  Mark whipped around feeling his heart stop for a second and then race. Swallowing. “I was just admiring your Hall 9000. It’s a beauty.”

  “Mark that is a Hologram.”

  “Mark I am a hologram interface for the Hall 9000.” said the old man. “You can call me Hall.”

  “You are the Hall 9000?”

  “Yes Mark. Do you care to introduce me to your friend Mickey?”

  “Oh sure. Ah… Mickey can you come out and introduce yourself please.”

  The girl that helped put Mark to bed his first night in his new cabin walked in through the hatch. “Is this what you had in mind Mark?” She was dressed much more conservatively raising her hand to jester hello as she smiled.

  “Yes very good Mickey. Say hello to Hall and be nice. I really want his help.”

  “Very well Mark and thank you. I find this very exciting talking to another AI to begin with and since this is such a distant relative it is even better.” The young lady walked up to the old man and softly said “Sqeeeee”

  The old man Hall opened his mouth and softly said “Sqooo.”

  Mark smiled shaking his head while watching them. Then turned to look at the core again. Reaching out he touched the smooth glass. Then looking close he could see what looked like paper thin layers disappearing deep inside the glass as smaller and smaller streaks of light crisscrossed threw out the obelisk. The closer he looked the finer and more numerous the streaks of light flashed across the webbed growing more complex by the second.

  “Hello Mark!” Boomed a voice as a lower section of the core flashed. Making Mark jump back as he looked around. Mickey and Hall where still in deep conversation.

  "Why did the elephant paint its toe nails red?"

  "What the hell?" Mark looked around at the tower and then around the compartment. "Ah I don't know. Why?" as he looked up into the dark trying to spot who was up there.

  "So he could hide in the cheery trees. Haaa. Haa, isn't that ridiculous." Said the voice.

  "Ok…..Why did the Elephant want to hide in a cheery tree?" Mark concentrated on the grates stacked around the tower stretching up into the gloom, looking for someone hiding.

  "To hide of course."

  "Ok….. And why did an elephant want to hide in a cheery tree." He continued to look.

  "Burning Pigmies."

  "What? What the hell does burning Pigmies have to do with elephants hiding in cheery trees?"

  "So they can drop done on the burning pigmies' when they come running past and stomp them out." Hooo. Hoo. I kill myself. Ha ha, ha…."

  "Ok… Aaaa…..Why are the Pigmies burning in the first place?"

  "Trying to put out forest fires."

  "Of course and why are the forests on fire?" Mark continued looking up trying to see someone in the shadows now worried about something falling on him as he raise his hands to cover his head.

  "Because the Elephants started them."

  "Ok and why… no of course they set the fires so they could stomp out pigmies. Right?" Shaking his head. "Ok I give up. Just where and who the heck are you?"

  “You can call me the Admiral.” Came the voice much softer as the lower core section in the middle flashed again with the words. “Hall is my AI. I am the controller of the Artificial Intelligent computer HALL. The Admiral of Hall you could say.” The low chuckle reverberated around the room.

  “What?” Mark was totally baffled.

  “AI’s cannot perform well without a controller.” The relatively small 2 foot wide by 1 foot tall core section deep inside the monolith varied in size as it flashed soft and bright in time with the words as if the core was speaking. “They found thousands of years ago that no matter how smart you make a computer it is just a smart computer with no initiative or insight or intuition or if you like; sole. It takes a human or a living mind to control an AI otherwise it just sits there trying to do whatever it was ordered forever or until something goes wrong and then sits there stupid. They even built an ultra-computer with trillions of trillions of books of code and all the knowledge of the universe in it trying to make it sentient and all they got was a really smart computer. That just sat there. It was still as stupid as a door knob. The main requirement for sentience is telling itself to do something NEW without being told. Your AI is a prime example. It sat there for a thousand years before it found an acceptable candidate and then had to have you tell it to change programming. Though the imprinted woman that died a thousand years ago seems to have left an impression that is showing signs of self-determination and may have been the one that reprogrammed the AI in the first place to accept you. It is still a child. The fact that she chose you even though you did not fit the majority of an inspector trainees profile shows that something strange maybe happening for the first time in recorded history. A portion of the woman's consciousness may have been transferred into your glasses.”

  “What? She. The AI said that I was the first to fit the profile.”

  “Yes but not the AI’s profile witch calls for years of specialized training to be even considered. The only profile you fill is the imprinted girls. She said herself she fell in love with you the moment she saw you and my guise is she lied to the AI. As for me, you fit my profile perfectly to get my engines upgraded before I and the ship is junked. You can save the star Queen. As Captain Cook did before you.”

  “AI’s don’t fall in love. That is ridiculous.” Looking up at the tower for a second, thinking as he walked over to the control consul sticking out from the bulkhead to one side of the core. “Ok so you are the Ship's Captain?” Mark sat down in the big easy chair behind the console. After the last few days he did not seem to have much stamina.

  “No Mark. My name is George Armstrong Custer after an ancient war hero and I was born over 4,500 years ago. I have a dozen University degrees and lived a long wonderful life with a loving wife and a 3 kids and hundreds of grand and great grandkids over the years and volunteered to become a ships AI controller at the age of 198 during a long nasty war shortly before I would have died of natural causes. Old age.”

  “I thought the Star Queen was only a couple hundred years old not thousands.”

  “Yes Mark. I have been many ships. I started as a huge battle ship in a long forgotten war and each time the ship I was in retired or was scrapped, I was recycled into a new ship. Cruisers, destroyer’s fast transports and even incredibly huge unmanned ore carriers that spent decades in the voids between distant stars. Then after the destruction of Earth’s Imperial Core industrial worlds; Old working AI’s became valuable again. Even multi-thousand plus year old monsters like me.”

  “So you are real? I mean flesh and blood after 4500 years? That is hard to believe.”

  “That makes two of us Mark. Less than one percent of the controllers my age are still alive. Probably because I take care of myself being one of the inventors of the process or simply by chance. Most ships AI’s are simply smart computers anymore. The controlling mind has long since parted this universe. Requiring an army of programmers to operate making them practically worthless because it can take hours to change the focus of the A.I. reducing its efficiency by 90%. A big waste of good AI’s if you ask me but like this ship with most of the automated systems long gone; a Controller AI is really not needed for most of the ships functions. For instance my job has degenerated into picking crew positions and approving trade goods and calculating trade routes for maximum profit. Well I also get to run the engines f
or takeoff, landings and deep space. Something an A.I. by itself can only do badly but I can do blind folded. Oh; don’t get me wrong. I am the one that had all the systems taken out to give the crew something to do and keep them busy and happy. Which brings up a request of mine. Something I would like you to do for me if you would please?”

  “Ok? What could I possible do for you that someone else could not do better?”

  “The last computer Chief that had any brains died a decade ago and I am getting, well, lonely. Not to mention that more and more sensors around the ship are failing with a low repair priority from lack of funds, while no sensors have been installed on any of the new tween cargo decks birthing making me feel isolated from the ship and crew.”

  “You want me to repair and install sensors around the ship and get you a smart pall to talk too?”

  “Well that would be nice but you have much more important things to do than worry about cameras and stupid computer technicians. Though I have a young girl that is looking extremely promising if she does not get herself slapped in the brig before she is of age. No. I would like you to plug a remote access module into my core so I can talk to you and Mickey and not only see the world through your eyes or glasses but the history you are likely to be involved in.” Marks mouth dropped open. “I guaranty you Mark that I will never intrude or try to influence you in any way but I can be of help at times I believe.”

  “Does that mean I would have access to the entire computer core if I need it? Including the codes to get into my computer in engineering.”

  “As long as you did not try to use them for self-profit or harm the ship or all the things I believe your police detective AI has gone over already when she picked you. Besides everything you have done so far in your life has already proved your character otherwise I would have had you arrested before you stepped off the bus let alone let you in to visit. Your AI could be very dangerous with the wrong controller. Do you know why the chicken crossed the road?”

  Mark and George the Admiral, talked for a good hour before Mickey interrupted them.

  “Mark I cannot get that ancient Moran AI to agree to allow me to connect to it.”

  Mickey seamed to bounce around the compartment agitated. Her image glowing as bright as a navigation beacon from a dozen places around the tower in the first minute. “It is cantankerous and set in its ways like a stupid old man.” Holding her arms up like she was going to hit something but finely just shaking her hands in the air before returning to stop in front of Mark looking at him. Her face going through several sad exasperated expressions before settling into a frown as tears dripped down her cheek. “I am sorry luv. But I dare not push too hard from fear of damaging it.” She reached out for Mark only to drop her hands to her side as she bit her lower lip fighting to keep control. Getting close enough to almost touch Mark her lips only an inch from Mark's. “It even refuses to help provide a simple thing like the code to give you access in engineering. I am sorry I failed you luv.”

  Mark was surprised he could feel the heat from her body standing so close to him, even though he knew he could not touch her, even though he wanted to wrap his arms around her and hold her tight and tell her it was ok. Then suddenly he took a step back and shook his head to clear his thoughts as he took a deep breath. How could anyone feel heat from a hologram projection? “That is ok Mickey. I have already made arrangements with the Admiral. All you have to do is decide what and where. Though George, Halle’s Controller, suggests you plug in at the bottom inside the core base directly into the central crystal interfaces slide reader.”

  ‘You talked to the AI’s controller?” Her face turned surprised and then skeptical then questioning.

  “Weren’t’ you listening?”

  “Listening to what? I had all my resources concentrating on the AI. Ahhhh yes. I quickly replayed your conversation and now I understand.” She smiled from ear to ear as she danced across the little compartment and then spun around on the tips of her toe's a few times before stopping in front of Mark. She started to put her arms around Mark again with her body heat overwhelming Mark before stopping and backing several feet away while she composed herself. “Thank you. I am forming an interface now in the case. You will be able to plug it in momentarily.”

  “No hurry Mickey. I have quit a lot to talk about with George yet. He is trying to catch me up on being a good officer. Hell; on how to be an officer period. Combined with what you taught me this afternoon, I am feeling a lot more confident I can do this. Picking the exact right time is going to be difficult but I think I even have an idea about that.” Smiling he realized that he needed to sleep on it. With tomorrow to continue preparations for an attack to assault the Engine room in a few days. The preparations started to overwhelm him as he thought about all the things he needed to do but closing his eyes he simply told himself that it was just another elaborate practical joke on a bunch of ass holes he had done a dozen times before. Though it was one hell of a lot more complicated. He just needed to take it one step at a time. And with Mickey’s and now Georges help it was a piece of cake. Calming back down and relaxing. “Mickey can George hypnotize me through you like you did earlier? It would speed things up considerable. I am a few years behind this officer thing not to mention being an Ensign or even a Lieutenant let alone an Engine room Commander.”

  "Yes Mark, George can go through me to teach you what you need to know. I will be sure to make sure he does not harm you while he is connected. My remote is ready to be installed."

  Mark placed the little crystal from Mickey’s case into the slide reader slot inside a hatch in the base of the tower that had a half dozen cable connections then closed the hatch.

  “Yes Mark all you need to do is lay back and we can compress weeks, maybe even months of study into a few hours. In time as I map your mind better, I may be able to compress years of experience as well.”

  Chapter 17 All a Tramp Can Be

  Captain Summers walked into the Vice Admirals Edwards office. “I have found the ship Admiral.”

  The Admiral looked up from his desk. “Oh. It has only been a couple of days Captain. You could not have possibly found the perfect ship already. That is unless you have been looking all along. How much do you know about this ship?”

  “Not much but haven't you heard about the battle on board one of the tramp ships at the space port; the Ah. Star Queen, against a junk dealer. That is the ship and crew that we need.”

  “Yes in fact I am working on a report into the incident trying to figure out just how a powerful sensor sweep inside a ship, sleep gas cylinders attached to the inside of a hold and a timed or remote controlled beacon slapped on the outside can make it easier to take a transport out between stars . How to prevent it and what is the possibility of it having happened before and its effect on shipping.”

  “Aren’t you impressed even a little by a bunch of unarmed outnumbered deck apes that can take on a laser riffle armed squad of junkies and win? Not to mention disarming a bomb that should have destroyed the ship.”

  “Well, yes but what was a 21 year old ensign now suddenly promoted to Engineering Commander doing in the hold in the first place and how did several million credits worth of torpedoes and sensors get buried under a couple hundred tons of junk?”

  “What difference does it make but according to the crew we have talked to, they thought the torpedoes had been destroyed by the former Pacifist Captain just before the ship was taken 21 years ago. The Junk yard crew just uncovered them and the boy happened to be in the right spot at the right time to detect the spy sensors the junkmen were using inside the ship normally safe from outside detection. If the rest of the crew is as good; we would be stupid to go with anyone else and if they aren’t they can’t be any worse than most other ships. Besides we need someone low enough in the command structure to hide the weapons origins but high enough to get our weapons on board with some control on what is done with them and a young commander that can do what he did fits the bill perfec
tly.”

  “A little too perfect Captain. Don’t you think we should at least take a closer look at this ship and crew and find out if all those medals on his chest where for something worthwhile and not just vanity decorations before you decide to dump the fate of this State on them?”

  --------------------------------

  Mark had dinner that night with Dian and to his relief, most people did not recognize the person standing on the loader, blaster in hand in a tattered burn streaked uniform with the big gold glasses in the news reports on the video screens around the Mess Deck. Though his glasses were now clear and almost invisible at the moment. Listening to the glowing comments from other tables around them about the person in the news, surprised and embarrassed him. As Dian seamed to strut beside him in her new medical ensign’s uniform keeping her promise not to tell anyone about what he had done. Mark’s real problem was that they were eating with Dian’s parents and his. How she arranged that he could not figure but was sure he wanted to be anyplace but there until he looked at Dian and forgot everything. Including how to speak intelligently. Letting Dian do most of the talking which she was more than happy to do.

  Though her father was more than a little interested in who his little daughter was going to bunk up with now that she was an ensign in the medical corps and insisted in talking to Mark every chance he got.

  His father seemed to keep looking at the man in the news and staring at his son bursting with pride. Realizing his son’s statement about a few problems in the hold was a bit of an understatement. Then after whispering to Marks mother about conclusions she was coming to at the same time. They decided not to intrude about the incident until Mark was ready to talk about it.

  After most of the small talk was out of the way about half way through dinner. Dian’s father (after finely paying attention to umpteenth replay of the news on the bulkhead showing the battle and quietly staring for several minutes), asked Mark as he pointed up at the news report on the big screens. “My daughter tells me that you were trapped in the hold and taken prisoner for a few minutes.” Pointing at the screen on the bulkhead. “That looks kind of like you up there in a gun fight on that loader deck. But all those laser streaks in the clip look more like movie stunt affects since they keep missing. The news says a few minutes before this clip this man managed to kill 7 men carrying laser assault guns with only a cutting/ welding torch? Sounds a little fantastic there Mark. I am glad you are alright but what did happen?”