Tramp Wars: The Enemy

by Larry Roberts

  Going over to Dirk. "Godstar Dirk. You OK? Are you hurt?"

  The Dazed Dirk turned to Mark. "Ah ya, I guess not." Then looked around the sky. "Where is Chet? He is in his big red truck." Then looked around the crowd and called out. "Chet! Where are you? Chet?"

  Mickey showed Mark a little map with Chet headed back for the Star Queen.

  "Sorry Dirk but Chet is half way back to the ship already. Come on. I will give you a ride back to the Star Queen."

  "He is not going anywhere." Said an officer with a Star Port Police patch on his shoulder walking up to them. His police cruiser behind Mark's speeder. "What happened here?"

  Dirk looked up at the policeman and said. "I was trying to collide with this piss-ant Mark when the aircar went out of control and hit the ship. I guess the aircar ejected me before it hit."

  "Dirk! Shut up. This is port police." Said Mark.

  "You tried to ram another aircar and kill yourself?" Asked one of the bystanders.

  "Hell no. Don't be ridiculous. Chet told me that old tank would swat Mark's speeder out of the sky without damaging it and we would not have to worry about the assault charges from this pukeface from when we attacked him the other night. “Dirk looked around again.” Chet. Where's Chet? He was in that big red truck. Though after the other day it does not fly very well. The fans are shit now thanks to this shit brain."

  "Dirk shut up will you?" Mark was getting exasperated

  "You shut up. These dirt bags don't have nothing to do with ships business. It is your fault they are not dropping the charges this time like all the others." Looking around again. "You just go Frigg yourself. I will ride home with Chet."

  The officer looked on with amusement as other police cars and officers arrived. "You aren’t going anywhere. You have to answer for crashing your aircar into this ship to begin with."

  "Hell it isn't my aircar. I don't care about that piece of junk and it barely scratched the ship. You clean it up."

  "Well now. You do know and understand that every Galactic Empire Citizen has the right not to talk and to the advice of a lawyer before talking to an officer and that a lawyer will be appointed to you if you cannot afford one?"

  "Screw your lawyer. My boss has his own lawyer on retainer. He always gets Mr. Greedly out of this shit after the bodies are spaced."

  "Do you know and understand that you do not have to talk to me?" The Port Officer insisted as he smiled at Dirk.

  "Hell I can talk as much as I want since you dirt side shitbags won't be around to testify against me aboard ship."

  "And we will add grand theft auto to the charges of attempted murder, vehicular assault and reckless driving." The officer handcuffed Dirk after a brief struggle as Dirk tried to hit the officer as an ambulance with fire trucks showed up with their lights flashing. With Dirk subdued the Officer smiled at Dirk. "I can testify against you in our courts. As soon as the medics check you out you are coming with me." Then turning to Mark. "I will send a report to your ship Commander." Looking at the patch on Mark's arm. "Ah. The Star Queen. I thought you looked familiar Commander."

  A Port Policewoman kneeling beside the ejection chair called over to the officer talking to Mark. "Dan! This seat is from a car registered to be auctioned off in the Star Queen pit this afternoon. It belongs to a Tom Duarty. Who do you have there?"

  "Not Tom Duarty and this nice young gentleman has already confessed to stealing the Auto." The officer smiled. "We will put out a warrant for this Chet fellow as well for attempted murder. I watched him fire a laser at the Commander here several times." Turning to Mark. "What is Chet's full name Commander?"

  "I. Ah. I don't know Officer. I will have to get back to you on that." Mark ignored the name that popped up on his glasses though he did not need the prompt.

  The officer chuckled. "Ya you do that, but it should not be too hard finding a Chet with a big red airtruck registered to the Star Queen though I am sure it will be reported as stolen shortly. Hopefully my cruiser's cam got a good look at the driver as he was shooting at you so that won't do him much good." Shaking his head as he looked at Mark. "Yes I know it is a waste of time Commander and that your ship is unlikely to let us have him but we do have this ass hole and we will send out a bolo-warrant and prosecute this Chet absentia with a court appointed attorney representing him if the cruiser cam gets a positive ID. He will never be able to set foot in any English system and most Empire planets without the possibility of being arrested." Smiling. "I just can't understand how you Tramps protect even the ones that try to kill you. I would arrest you for reckless driving but it is obvious that you were just trying to stay alive."

  Mark frowned. "Sorry Officer but it is usually you people that are trying to do us harm. You may get this Chet from the ship but only after the Star Queen has had time to prosecute him first for several murders aboard the ship he committed a couple days ago and then only if he is kicked off the ship; will we hand him over to you. If he is found guilty of the Murders he will be executed. Though by then we will be on some other planet or far between the stars." Noticing the officer’s cold look. "Sorry if that sounds to slow but we do care and you people could help that along by providing Tramp ships with your evidence against people like this instead of hording it and just demanding we turn the accused over to you for your own prosecutions. You would probably get more cooperation from Tramps as well as more bad guys found guilty, even if it is finely on another planet or in the brig on board ship or even executed. We don’t like crewmen that fuck things up on the planets we visit either but usually we can’t get enough evidence from the local authorities to convict them even though we know they are guilty." Watching the officer's look soften a little. "It was just a thought officer looking at it from my side."

  "Commander we know how valuable time is with Tramps and all the other ships that pass through our port. We have already set up a justice system just for the port that has the resources to gather evidence for the defendant and prosecute cases in days instead of months or years. It is not perfect but it works pretty well if you Tramps would just trust us and give it a chance instead of clamming up or playing stupid every time we ask for your help." Turning to look at Mark's speeder he smiled. "You had better get going. Your auction is about to start and that car I bet is on the list since it looked like you were just taking it for one last joy ride." Shaking his head and frowning. "It looks like a nice car. It is a shame you will only get junk prices out of that auction as short notice as it is. By the time you pay for the auction and security and fees. You will find that most of the aircars would have made more credits simply by having them hauled away as scrap for a couple hundred a ton and save the hassles and time." Looking a little sad as he studied Mark's speeder. "Especially your speeder Commander. It looks like it was put together from a dozen different makes and models from a dozen deferent worlds. Though I have to admit it fly's damn well but no one at that action is going to know that. All they will see is a piece of junk sitting in front of them on the auction block." Looking up at the black blotch on the side of the ship the officer smiled. "At least this Tom won't have to pay to have it hauled off after paying auction fees. Even that fancy red and chromed tricked out truck will only bring 10 cents on the Credit it should get." Shaking his head he turned away. "Good luck Commander."

  Mark walked back to his speeder as they took Dirk away in the police cruiser. "Mickey is the auction as bad as the officer says it is?"

  "Yes Mark. The public records show that most of the cars sold at these pit auctions finish up in the red with the auction company having to charge a flat fee per car as well as a percentage to cover it's expenses on such short notice and the fact that mostly only car dealers have the time to be notified or find out about the auctions and know that the cars have to be sold with little time to check or inspect them beforehand. Though with the sensors I was detecting at the auction that is not that much of a handy cap for the Dealers."

  Arriving back at his pit he looked down at the growing crow
d of fancy limo's and high priced dealer aircars mixed in with a smattering of just regular average aircars arriving and parked around the area roped off for the auction. The Dealer cars spending several minutes each as they came in slower than normal to scan the lot. "So all they are going to see is a piece of junk sitting with the rest Mickey." Mark frowned thinking. "What if I had a little fun and showed them some maneuvers and put on a little show. It could not hurt. Dad always says to hit the client in the eyes with the flash and they won't see the minor shadows." Mark started doing loops and rolls and hammerhead stalls and just having fun before he landed his sweetheart for the last time. His third time around stretched limousine much fancier than the rest landed next to the car park after emitting enough sensors at the parked auction cars to classify as a battleship. Then to Marks surprise it transmitted tight comm beams to all the other dealer limos and cars at the Auction as it landed. Not even trying to hide the fact as it joined the other limos that brought the various buyers to the auctions. A sentence his father had once made at the dinner table many years before suddenly popped into his mind reinforcing what the officer had said. "Sudden Forced Bankruptcy Auctions are only great for the buyers. After the fees are paid it usually turns out that it would have been cheaper for the seller to just throw most of the equipment away. Especially since most of the buyers are usually friends and will tend to not bid against each other unless a jewel shows up everyone wants." Shaking his head he looked at all the cars from many of his friends or acquaintances on the garbage deck. Though a few were owned by some of his tormenters including the shiny red and chrome tricked out monster fan airtruck that had tried to ram or shoot him down know sitting just inside the edge of the roped off area. He was starting to feel less hateful of them as his self-confidence grew. One thing for sure; the idea of getting pennies for his car and seeing his ship mates cheated into taking a fraction of what the cars really were worth disgusted him. Then another dinner time talk jumped into his mind. "Never buy emotion at an auction. Anger and love can blindly lead to stubbornness and triple the purchase price."

  Dropping down he headed for the fancy stretched air limo with all its chrome and glitter and domes and floor ports and fancy colors and high powered sensors that had just landed. Several men and women climbed out of the Limo as Mark set down. Blowing dust over them all. Jumping out Mark apologized to them as his fans spooled down still in lift mode continuing to blow what little dust was left over them. He had already changed his uniform shirt for an old wadded up work shirt in the back seat.

  Looking over the limo, Mark was impressed at all the bells and whistles. As he stuck his head in the cockpit, one of the men yelled at him to get away from the car. Mark ignored him as he sat in it and started playing with the gadgets knocking over things in the seat turning up the stereo to an earsplitting roar with the drum beat making the windows bulge. He noticed a list of the aircars to be auctioned off with seemingly unrelated cars grouped together with names over each group printed with highlighting around them. Mark was willing to bet that the car dealers scattered around the pit were the different names at the top of each group. Screaming at Mark the red faced man dragged him out of the limo as Mark also realized that each group had a few good cars and a few cars that were not so good with the Junkers in the auction completely ignored. No list group had the same care in any of the others.

  “Isn’t this part of the auction today? What is your card price on it?”

  “No you moron, this limo is not in the auction! Now get away from here before I have you arrested.”

  “Oh darn I always wanted a fancy limo. What kind of miles do you get with this?”

  “I said it is not on the block you blockhead now get away from my limo! “ He screamed sweat glistening down his bald head.

  “Well you don’t have to get rude about it Mr.” and Mark walked off making his way around the already parked expensive limos the other buyers had arrived in. Quickly finding out that most were definitely car dealers as he made a rude ass of himself to most of them as he admired their fancy, expensive aircars. He noticed several of them had similar sheets with different groups of aircars highlighted on what little he could see.

  As other sports cars and limo’s arrived for the auction Mark watch the lead limo flash a comm to them as he looked each of their cars over with a fine tooth comb managing to irritate most of them making an ass of himself. Noticing more freshly printed sheets with the different groups highlighted. Finely the auction team arrived as Mark continued to wonder around asking rude questions and being the biggest pain in the pit. Just before the auction started he started his car up and managed to blow dust and debris over half the lot of airlimo's and rich aircar dealers as he flew upside down with his head hanging down low over the lot barely above head height looking everything over before he jumped up to do a few outside loops and roles and a hammerhead stall before falling strait down seemingly out of control to pull out just in time to drop into the only parking space left in the middle of the auction area with the other cars on the block. Climbing out, he walked around looking at the other aircars. He did not need to as he already knew everything about them but with Mickey’s help he checked the bid start price card on each; upping them when he felt it was to low usually with the owner’s approval if they were around. Some by several thousand credits.

  With only a few minutes left before the start of the auction Mark made another tour annoying bidders while deliberately picking out several to make a total ass of himself again to. Getting several that where just arriving a quick treatment.

  The Auction finely started with Mark letting the bids build on the first car until the bidding started to slow down with two guys left bidding on the coup with the price still in the low hundreds. One was the Dealer that had that car on his list while the other seemed to be a private person “Mickey is this second guys really interested in this one?”

  “The bald guy seems to be very interested. He is a collector of off world cars with a news article a year old about his collection. His collection was featured concentrating on odd or very far away manufactured cars. This would be about the farthest distance of any of his cars according to the magazine article by several hundred light years. The other is a dealer with this aircar on his list.”

  Mark raised his little card to bid. The bald guy jerked around to glare at him and even took a second look. Mark smiled as the bored dealer slowly turned to look at Mark. He had taken extra effort to irritate the hell out of this guy simply because Mark had seen him drawing circles around a lot of the cars not on the list evidentially assigned to him. The dealer gentleman’s glance turned to interest at what the moron that had been such a butt hole was doing, but shrugged no big deal. After several rounds of bidding the one dealer dropped out making the bald guy grin in satisfaction until Mark raised his card again. ”Mickey can you tell me when he is about to give up bidding?”

  “Mark I cannot help you profit from this auction.”

  Mark bid again. “I don't want to buy it Godstar sakes. I am just making sure the owner gets full value for their cars. I won’t benefit a dime.” His arm shot up again with in a millisecond of the others bid making the bald man jerk around to stare at him giving him the evil eye. Mark just starred at the car trying to look like he was in love with it.

  The man bid again and Mark again shot his hand up. Repeating the action several times until Mickey said he’s flagging. The next bid Mark jumped the bid a thousand credits giving the bald man the evil but desperate eye. The bald man smiled knowing mark had no money left to bid higher with. And bid again. And got it for double the price the second bidder had dropped out at and congratulating himself for beating Mark out of the prize while Mark tried his best to look defeated. Finely turning and burying his head as he bit his lip in satisfaction to keep from jumping up to do a dance or shout.

  For dozens of cars Mark was successful in doubling or even tripling the selling price of most of them. Mostly because of the hate the Dealer bidders
seemed to start feeling for Mark the ass hole as the bidding went on. Though a couple of cars did not even make minimum bid on the card and where passed by. Then Marks car came up and not worried with the high price he had put on his card Mark relaxed smiling until someone actually bid and then the price on his car shot up and up. Godstar no Mickey. Looking around he noticed that the bidders where not the guys that he had pissed off but civilians. In shock he watched the price shoot up until it slowed down. And not thinking or remembering that he was broke; Mark’s arm shot up waving his card and when the auctioneer ignored him he stood up practically jumping up to get his attention. Finely the auctioneer turned to him and said. “You cannot bid on your own car sir. Your Captains orders and auction policy Mr. Now please sit down.”

  Devastated; Mark just stood there as the bidding seamed to start fresh again as some of the original bidders jumped back in. By the time the bidding was over the big guy sat back down as happy as a clam and Mark tried to keep from crying. He had built that car from parts over years and flown it on a hundred worlds on dozens of adventures and…he just realized that not only was it an unusual car but it was the best acrobatic sports aircar probably on the planet let alone in the lot. But he still wondered why the ass hole wanted it so bad. He should have put a higher price on his card but then he could not remember what it did sell for and putting a 100,000 on the card would not have been allowed as to ridicules. But then where he would have stored or parked the car aboard a ship that had just outlawed private cars never entered his mind.

  “Mark! This gentleman wants this car so bad he is about to wet himself just looking at it… Mark you need to bid or this dealer is going to get it for the price of junk. Mark automatically raised his hand and then looked at the car and cringed. "That is just one of those disposable cars, not even that great of a car. You could buy one for practically nothing on any street corner on Omicron 4. They only make seven models of the same car on the entire planet and no other cars are even produced. They had made the same model for so long that they had run out of improvements to make to them which meant that they were so reliable they did not have auto parts stores for replacement parts. They just did not wear out and when they were finely so old that they finally fell apart you would just buy a new or used one depending on how much you wanted to spend at the local Walmart. Which make them good for tramp ships. Actually that also would make them good trade goods for the outback. Where repair parts were impossible to get." With the auctioneer ready to drop the gravel on the sale to the dealer Mark shot his hand up and raised the price a thousand as he stood up. The guy bidding looked at Mark his mouth opened in disbelief as he realized it was the ass hole that had been bothering him earlier. Smiling with satisfaction Mark sat down and waited for the gavel to drop.