Between the Girls (The Basin Lake Series Book 3)

by Stephanie Vercier

  I sigh in agreement and consider it might actually feel good to talk to someone because after I’d dropped Claire off, I hadn’t talked to another soul, not even Sam.

  “You’ve been quiet the last couple of days,” she says once we’re sitting at the kitchen table, my coffee loaded with a stack of whip cream.

  I shrug. “Yeah. Sorry about that.”

  “You don’t have to be sorry, Tyler. I figured something was up on Saturday, but I didn’t want to force you to talk about it if you weren’t ready. Is it about Claire?”

  Dad says guys aren’t supposed to cry, but I feel this lump in my throat and a tickle in my nose when Mom says her name—I very much want to cry, but I don’t.

  “I messed up,” I say, feeling the shame in even admitting it to my mom.

  She lets that sit for what feels like an eternity, then says, “We all mess up. Is it something you think you and Claire can work on? Is it fixable?”

  “Hopefully. She said she’d talk to me today, so I hope we can work through it.”

  She eases back into her chair and takes a deep breath. “Your father and I have had to work through a lot over the years—it hasn’t always been easy—I think you know that. But if you’re with the right person, then it’s worth it, the time, the energy, the sleepless nights. If you’re with the right person, you get through it.”

  Swallowing the lump, I look directly at Mom. “I’ve been talking to Laney for a while, mostly texts, but a little on the phone.”

  “Oh… oh.” Mom is sitting straight up again, and I see disappointment flashing across her eyes. “Laney Barlow is the last person I imagined this being about.”

  “Claire found the texts,” I continue, deciding to let Mom in on everything. “She had every right to be pissed, but she wouldn’t let me explain myself. I don’t love Laney. And the only reason I’d even think of going to CU now is to keep pace with Claire… to feel like I’m smart enough and worthy of her.”

  “CU? University of Colorado?” She shakes her head. “Tyler, what aren’t you telling me?”

  “I got in,” I say, not sure I’ll be able to hide the shame I feel in lying to my parents about that too.

  “I hadn’t realized you’d followed through and applied.” A faint smile pushes past her frown. “Well, that’s good though, isn’t it? Not that I want you in Denver, but I’m so very proud of you.”

  “You are?”

  “Well, yeah, my son got into a great school. Why shouldn’t I be proud?”

  “I also got into WSU and Central… just barely though,” I tell her. “But I didn’t get anything west of the Cascades where Claire is going.”

  “Wait, you not only got into CU, but WSU and Central too? Tyler, how in God’s name did your father and I not know about this?”

  “Because I’m usually the one checking the mail,” I reply with what Mom would probably call a sheepish grin.

  “My pride level just went up several more notches, but I guess I should be offering some sympathy as well—all you really want is to be near Claire.”

  “Yeah… I do. And those schools are closer than CU at least, but I think a part of me has been keeping it in my back pocket in case things with her and I imploded. I mean, I didn’t… don’t want them to, but I couldn’t imagine being close to her if they did, if she decided to reject me.”

  “Like Laney,” she finishes.

  “I couldn’t deal with something like that again.”

  Mom gets up and comes around the table, leans over, puts her arms over my shoulders and hugs me. “And you shouldn’t have to. Laney broke your heart, Tyler,” she says, pulling the chair next to me out and sitting down. “But Claire is different. I’ve seen it. She’s such a determined young woman. Laney had her good points, but she gave in to something incredibly superficial.”

  “So why did she contact me again? To ease her conscious?”

  “Maybe,” Mom says. “Or maybe she realized she’d made a mistake and wanted you back. How could she not?” She lightly bumps my shoulder with her fist and smiles.

  I let myself laugh, and it feels good, even if it’s only for a couple of seconds.

  “Maybe that’s why I talked to her… maybe I wanted to have the last say in it, that she’d messed up and I didn’t want her back. And I don’t… not now. I told her we could only be friends.”

  “And wanting to be friends is understandable, that you didn’t want your relationship to end on such a sour note. I’m not a fan of that girl, Tyler, but she was your first love, and is it really so strange to think that you might have needed some extra time to fully get over her?”

  With a sigh, I decide dissecting my feelings about Laney doesn’t really matter unless I can get Claire back. “So, what do I say to Claire? How do I make her understand that she’s the only girl I love?”

  “Be honest—be as honest as you can be. And give her space if she asks for it. Let it be her call.”

  “Okay. Thanks, Mom. That makes me feel a little better at least.” And it does. It’s not like I’m imagining the best-case scenario all of a sudden, but Mom has given me hope that I might still have a fighting chance with Claire, and she didn’t make me feel like a complete jerk over my messed up feelings for Laney.

  “Good… now drink that coffee before your whip cream melts.”

  I’d been starting to wonder if Claire was actually going to take pity on me and talk to me today or if she’d decided she was done. I was about to text her when she called and asked if now was a good time to come over.

  “Sure, of course you can!” I’d said before heading outside to the wrap-around porch to pace, my mind so uneasy that there isn’t much else I can do while I wait.

  I hear the car pulling into the drive before I see it, having been going back and forth at the side of the house. When I go around and see a silver sedan, the first thought that comes to my mind is that Claire got a car of her own or borrowed one from someone other than her mother. But then I see that it’s a man driving, and there’s someone in the back. I hurry down the front stairs and stuff my hands in my pockets, waiting and wondering. But when the guy in front jumps out and opens the back door, a girl gets out.

  And I can’t believe my fucking eyes.

  It’s Laney.

  I’m confused at first, then get that feeling like I’ve forgotten to do my homework because I think maybe I invited Laney here and had pushed it out of my mind. But as the guy pulls a rolling suitcase out of the trunk and Laney waves at me, I know for sure I never did that. I hadn’t even responded to the texts that came in on Saturday, the ones that Claire had seen.

  “Surprise!” She leaves the suitcase where the guy has left it and runs toward me, draping her arms around my neck, her familiar scent now foreign and not comforting the way that it used to be.

  “What are you doing here?” I don’t respond to her embrace, just stand there stiffly until she pulls away from me.

  “You aren’t happy to see me?”

  “I…” The guy in the Uber is gone now, replaced by another car, by the Volvo that belongs to Claire’s mother, Claire in the driver’s seat and pulling closer to the house.

  “Tyler, I—”

  “Shit! Shit… shit!” I pull away from Laney and run to the car Claire is sitting in, her body stiff and her eyes so dark and angry that it looks like she wants me dead. “Claire,” I plead, both with my eyes and with my pathetic voice.

  I wouldn’t blame her if she put the car in reverse and peeled out of the driveway or maybe even slammed her feet on the accelerator to run Laney and I down in a fit of rage. But what she does instead is turn the ignition off and slip out of the driver’s seat. I take special note of the way she looks because I’m very afraid this will be the last time I’ll see her. She’s stunning, as always, in a sundress and heeled sandals. There isn’t a lot of makeup on that gorgeous face of hers today, and the way her hair falls over her shoulders somehow makes her look younger and more innocent. But that innocence is lost in those
beautiful eyes of hers that are filled with obvious anger for me.

  “I know how this looks,” I say, already feeling myself giving up, my shoulders slumping, my only hope that she’ll somehow give me a chance to explain something that appears unexplainable.

  “Is that Laney?” she asks me coolly.

  I nod. “I had no idea she was coming. Claire, you have to believe me.” I reach out to her, but she steps away and shakes her head.

  “Hello.” It’s Laney’s voice, and she’s just made this so much worse when she decides to walk over to Claire and I.

  “Laney, please,” I say.

  “No, it’s all right,” Claire says, stepping around me. “I’m Claire. Has Tyler ever mentioned me?”

  I turn, not knowing what Laney will say, still registering the fact that she’s standing here in Basin Lake and perhaps ruining my chances of getting back the woman I love.

  “Yes,” Laney replies. “He has.”

  “At least there’s that,” Claire says.

  “Claire… can you and I talk?” I beg her, figuring I’ll ask Mom to entertain Laney while I fight for our relationship.

  “You’re pretty,” Claire tells Laney, basically ignoring me. “Can I ask how long it’s been going on? With you and Tyler?”

  “Look, I don’t want to cause any trouble,” Laney says, beginning to shrink away.

  “I just want the truth. That’s all.” Then Claire looks at me like I’m the last person she could trust for that, and that kills me.

  “Nothing has been going on.” I feel like I’ve just been run over by a boulder.

  “I want to believe you,” Claire says in a clear strong voice before her face crumples right before my eyes.

  I step toward her, reaching for her. “Claire… please.”

  She moves away from me, and is shaking her head, biting her lip and trying not to cry. “I can’t, Tyler. I’m sorry, but I have dreams. You know that. This just hurts, and I can’t let it get in the way. I won’t be stuck in some place I don’t want to be because I love you and then just get my heart broken anyway.”

  “I would never,” I plead, reaching out for her again, but she’s turned away now, rushing to the car. She’s inside and reversing, completely ignoring my pleas for her to reconsider.

  I follow the car, pound on it a couple of times. I yell at the top of my lungs for another chance, but I’m not even sure what words are actually coming out or if I’m making any sense. I’m pathetic, but I don’t care. I don’t give a shit how I look because I would strip down to nothing and dance like an idiot in front of the entire school if it would get me five minutes in a room alone with her, five minutes where she could truly hear me out.

  When I can no longer see Claire’s car, when the dust it has kicked up has settled, I finally turn back to the house, defeated.

  Did that just really fucking happen? Did my relationship with Claire actually just get torpedoed in less than five minutes?

  Mom is on the porch now, and Laney is standing with her arms crossed over her chest. I’m not sure if she’s angry or just upset, but I don’t really care.

  All I want to do is walk, walk the property, walk the country roads, walk until my feet bleed and blister. But I have to face what has just happened, have to face Mom and Laney, have to figure out what the hell I did so wrong to get me here.

  “That’s not what I pictured happening,” Laney says, sitting in the wicker couch on the back deck, me in the chair next to her.

  It had taken me a good hour to calm down after Claire had left. I’d been ready to grab my keys and go after her and make her listen to me, but Mom gave me a firm look and made sure I understood that would only make it worse. She implored me to stay and give Claire her space.

  “Plus, I don’t want you leaving me here alone with Laney Barlow,” she said with a small grin, trying to lighten things up.

  “Me either,” I answer Laney, still feeling the shock of today’s events. “That wasn’t supposed to happen. I should be sitting out here with Claire.” I’m not trying to hurt Laney, but I don’t feel like beating around what I’m really feeling.

  “Ouch,” she says, visibly hurt.

  Neither of us says anything for a while, and that’s fine by me, though I’d like to ask her when’s the soonest flight she can get back to Denver.

  “I wanted a second chance with you,” she says, breaking the quiet. “I don’t expect you to care, but Heath turned out to be an asshole.” She sighs. “I guess I always knew that, but I wasn’t sure I could really commit to you all the way, Tyler. I mean, it was a lot.”

  I’ve avoided looking directly at her until now when I let out a cutting laugh. “What was a lot, Laney? Me not being up to your perfect standards? You couldn’t handle a guy with a fucked up dick?”

  She’s shaking her head. “You’re putting words in my mouth.”

  “No I’m not. You admitted after you slept with Heath that you just wanted someone normal, obviously not me.”

  “Fine.” She closes her eyes and takes a breath. “But that was only a small part of it that I would have gotten over. I mean, yes, it was hard sometimes to look at you, at all of your scars and not have a reaction to them, to be sad for you or to know that people would stare if we were at a beach or a water park or something.”

  “Which we basically never were,” I remind her, hurt and angry and fuming at what she’s telling me. “I covered up most of the time to avoid that very reaction.”

  “And that was part of the problem,” she says. “You were holding onto every bad thing that happened to you like it was, I don’t know, the way you should define your life, and I didn’t want to live that way. It made me feel like I’d have to learn to hide things in order to be with you.”

  There are so many things going through my head right now, so many things I want to say all at once to disprove everything she just said, but I settle on something very simple. “The very fact that you had a hard time looking at my scars is the exact reason I’ve held on to what happened to me as a way of defining my life. Maybe I could have handled it better—maybe my whole family could have handled it better, but I was doing the best I could, and I did love you. And until very recently, I thought I still did.”

  Laney’s eyes redden, and there’s a moment I feel as though I want to go to her, put my arm around her and comfort her. I don’t want her to hurt, but I remain seated. The only girl I want to put my arm around right now is Claire.

  “So, you don’t love me anymore, no hope for a second chance?”

  I shake my head. “I’m going to be as honest with you as you’ve just been with me. I still loved you even after you slept with Heath and even after I beat the shit out of him. It was tough watching you take his side, but I didn’t just stop loving you. And that didn’t change for me when I first met Claire, but eventually, I started to fall in love with her. Maybe I was holding onto you for some kind of redemption.” I clench my jaw, struggling to find the right words to explain the rest.

  “What do you mean, redemption?”

  “I don’t know, maybe to prove to you that you were wrong about me, that I wasn’t the guy who totally lost his shit when I beat the hell out of Heath or that I wasn’t disgusting—”

  “I never used the word disgusting, Tyler, and as far as Heath goes, I can kind of understand your rage now.”

  “But you couldn’t then?”

  “You scared me,” she says, lowering her eyes.

  “And I hated that look of fear. I guess I wanted to redeem myself that way too, right along with me thinking that if you and I got another chance at CU, that I could erase you rejecting me, that maybe I’d feel like just a regular guy.”

  “But you aren’t just a regular guy,” she says, her face somewhat sorrowful. “You’re an amazing guy. You always were that to me, but you just couldn’t see it through your baggage, and I know I didn’t do anything to help that, but I want to now. I hurt you, but maybe I can earn your love and your respect again. We can
still go to CU together, and with your help, I’ll get over my fears.”

  I’m at a loss for words. Since my break up with Laney, there have been points where I imagined speeches from her that weren’t even close to being as good as the one she’s just presented to me. She’s saying she’s sorry and asking for another chance. She’s said similar things in her texts, in bits and pieces, but it’s not the same when it’s in person.

  “I’m in love with Claire,” I tell her. I should have all kinds of reactions to what she’s just told me, but none of that matters at this point. “She’s the only person I want to be with now,” I add in, feeling that pull even stronger now than I ever have before, maybe because I’m so damn afraid that I’ve lost her forever.

  Laney wipes away a tear. “What if she doesn’t want you back? She was really pissed about me being here.”

  I shrug. “It doesn’t change anything. I loved you even when you cheated on me. So, I’m going to love Claire even when she’s pissed off at me. I’m going to love her for a long time even if she tells me it’s over, but I’m going to hope more than I’ve hoped for anything that it’s not.”

  Laney is shaking her head, emotion pushing through. “I flew all the way out her for nothing, and here I thought you actually still liked me. I never would have imagined you being so… so distant and angry with me!” Laney really lets herself cry now, and it’s finally too much. I go over to the couch and sit down next to her.

  “You can stay here for a few days if you need to… so we can talk it out… part as friends. Maybe that’s all I ever really wanted because it’s hard to love someone and have it just be over like it was for us.”

  She leans her head on my shoulder and cries some more, her quick burst of anger dissipating.

  I want to cry too, but my tears would be for Claire. I have to hold onto some kind of hope that maybe someday Claire will give me another chance, but right now, that feels pretty impossible.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

  CLAIRE

  The last month and a half in Basin Lake was awful. I’d seen Laney one more time during spring break, through the window of Zeke’s diner in town, sitting across from Tyler. He knows I hate that place because I’d told him half a dozen times when we’d be driving through town in his Jeep. I guess that’s why he picked it, so there would be no danger of running into me there. They didn’t see me walking by, which was good. And they didn’t seem happy and were about as far from one another as two people could be. I took some selfish comfort in that, though comfort was something I’d rarely felt about anything related to those two.