by Emma Tharp
The coffee shop is a five-minute drive from the school. I’m a ball of nerves the entire time. I’m not looking forward to meeting with Janessa today. She and I are friends, and I am breaking friend rule number one: don’t date your friend’s exes. It has never crossed my mind to commit such an act. That is, until Ireland.
It was never my intention for things to go as far as they have with Braeden either. When I agreed to the vacation fling, that was all it was ever going to be. When Jackson posted the pictures of Braeden and me on Instagram is when everything became very real. Our little bubble burst. And the death of my grandmother made me forget about whose feelings I might be hurting, including Mark and Janessa. I haven’t seen or talked to Janessa since before I left for Ireland. If I weren’t such a coward, I would’ve talked to her before now.
Walking in the coffee shop, I scan the counter and seats and see Janessa staring down at her phone at the pick-up area. My mouth goes dry as if I just ate a handful of cotton. I place my order and with some hesitance go up to her.
“Janessa.”
She looks up from her cell. “Hi.” Her tone is cordial, maybe not quite as upbeat as normal, but she’s not coming at me swinging. That’s a good sign.
“It’s good to see you.” She’s in a conservative, gray dress. Something appropriate for her job as a paralegal. Her brown hair, with subtle streaks of blonde, is swept up in a bun on top of her head. She’s a gorgeous girl, even in her understated attire. At night, when we used to go out, she’d wear the shortest shorts or skirts and heavy eye makeup, always the most daring in her style choices. Memories of our wild party days come flooding back in. We always had fun together. I’ve missed her.
The barista comes over and hands her a cup with a heart made in the foam. “Good to see you, too. How have you been? Seems like forever since I’ve seen you.”
So we’re doing small talk then. “I’ve been good. What about you?”
“Great actually. I’m sorry to hear about your grandmother. I wasn’t able to make it to the service. I was out of town.” She looks sincere. And she did send a sympathy card.
When I get my mug of coffee, we walk to an open table and have a seat across from each other.
“Thank you. It was awful. I miss her every day.”
“I wish I could have been there. Believe it or not, I’m dating Neil Cameron. We happened to be visiting his parents in the Outer Banks during the services.”
“The Neil Cameron?” The same guy who Janessa has had a crush on since high school? She would always drag us to his baseball games. They were so long and boring, but she wanted to watch him and he never gave her the time of day. He was a senior when we were freshmen.
“Yeah. Do you believe it? After all these years, we ran into each other at the gym. He just moved back into town. We started talking and now we’ve been dating for four months.”
“Is it serious?” I ask.
“It’s too early to tell, but he invited me to meet his parents, so I guess that’s something.” Her green eyes sparkle when she talks about Neil, the same way they did back in high school.
“Wow. That’s great. You seem happy.”
“I am.” She plays with the rim of her mug before taking another sip, completely obliterating the last remnants of the heart shape foam. “What about you?”
Here’s my opening. She’s swung the door open; I just have to walk through. “I’m the most content I’ve been in a very long time. I had a string of bad luck, from my grandmother’s stroke, to losing my job, and finding Mark in bed with another woman. It was a tough time for me. And then everything changed.” I clear my throat and look down at my coffee. I take a sip, harnessing courage from deep inside me. “The trip I took to Ireland was what I needed to get away from here for a while. I needed a reset. What I didn’t know was when I got there I would see Braeden McLoughlin.”
Searching her face, I look for a clue in her reaction, but there’s nothing there. I continue. “I was in a bind. No luggage and I lost my purse. He helped me out. And then he helped an elderly woman carry her bag up to her room. He kept doing sweet, thoughtful things, and I couldn’t remember what he did to you. I just remember you telling us that he was an asshole.”
She’s blinking now, over and over again. “Okay.”
I can’t tell if she’s upset or not. “What I need to tell you is that I like him. And I think we’re going to try to have a relationship. I never intended for this to happen, but it did and I want you to hear it from me.”
She’s nodding and blinking. “I’m not surprised. I saw the pictures of you guys that Jackson posted.”
Janessa doesn’t seem mad. Confused maybe, but not angry. “Are you upset with me? I would understand if you were.”
“No, I’m not. I’ve moved on. And I know I told you guys that he was an asshole, but I wasn’t an easy person to get along with either. We didn’t bring out the best in each other. Let’s just put it that way. And when he broke up with me, I was bitter that I didn’t get to say it first.”
“So, he never cheated on you or abused you?”
“Hurt my feelings, yes. Hurt me physically, no.”
My shoulders and jaw muscles relax. That I can live with. If she told me he was a cheater, that would be it. I’d walk away now. “We can still be friends?”
“Of course.”
“I’m sorry I haven’t been in touch sooner,” I say.
“Don’t apologize. I have a phone, too. Life gets in the way.” She takes the last sip of her coffee and stands up. “I’ve got to run. I’m meeting Neil and a couple of his co-workers for dinner. Let’s plan a girls’ night soon.”
“I would love that.” I stand up and she comes around to my side of the table. We hug and all is right with the world.
Epilogue
“This tree is the best one I’ve ever had in this house,” Braeden says as he folds me up in the crook of his arm. We stare, admiring our handiwork.
The lights shimmer and throw small twinkling shadows around Braeden’s living room. The ornaments I brought over from my small collection add to the sparkle factor. “It’s beautiful, but how many Christmas trees have you actually had in this house?”
He twists me around so I’m facing him. “This is actually the first one.”
“Wait, how long have you lived here?”
“Four years,” he says.
“And you’ve never decorated a tree?” It doesn’t make sense to me. No matter where I live, I have to have a Christmas tree, no matter how big or small. It helps me get into the spirit of the season.
He shakes his head and runs his fingertip along the side of my jaw. “Nope. Never. We always celebrate at my parents’ place. I never had a reason to until you came along.”
It’s hard to believe that he’s never had another woman in this house or celebrated Christmas here. It’s the perfect home for hosting get-togethers.
“Do you want to host a party here?” he asks, as if reading my mind.
“There’s only two weeks before Christmas. There’s no time to put together a party now.”
“How about for New Year’s?” He brings his hands down my lower back and starts rubbing. Such a kind gesture, since I tweaked something as I was putting the star on top of the tree, all the while sitting on Braeden’s shoulders.
“Now that sounds perfect,” I say.
“Wait here for a minute.” I watch him as he walks up the stairs. We’ve been a couple for four months now and he still gives me butterflies. Sometimes it’s a look or a gesture he saves just for me, or like now as I watch his strong body navigate the stairs two at a time.
He’s only gone a minute. “Come and sit down.” He’s wearing my favorite grin and holding an envelope.
“What’s that?” I take the seat next to him on his camel-colored leather couch. The cushions hug me and take all the strain away from my back.
“I’ve wanted to talk to you for a while about this.” His eyes are glowing with little flecks of g
old from the tree lights.
“Okay.”
“You’ve been here almost every single night since September. I want you to move in with me. And if you think it’s too soon, I think you’re wrong. We love each other. And I don’t think there should be rules when you’re in love. What do you say?” His words rush out and his leg fidgets and bounces up and down.
I get a little flutter in my stomach. So many things are running through my head. He’s right. I have been here every night except for two, when I had an overnight with Fiona at the spa and one for work training. The rest of the time I’ve been playing house with Braeden. It’s been wonderful. “You’re ready?”
“I’m asking you. I’ve thought about it. Yes, I’m ready. What about you?”
“Yes. Technically, most of my things are here already.” I laugh. Almost everything I have has slowly made its way here as time has gone on. When my grandmother died, she left me her house in her will, but I’m not sure how I would feel about living in it without her there.
He kisses me and I part my lips to his. Our relationship has progressed quickly. We spend almost all of our time together. It’s the perfect time to take things to that level, even though I’ve been living with him unofficially for months.
“And then there’s this.” He hands me the envelope.
“What is it? I hope it isn’t a gift. It’s not Christmas yet,” I say.
“Open it.”
I break the seal and pull out two plane tickets. To Ireland. “I don’t understand.”
“We’re going back. During your spring break. You didn’t get a chance to finish your trip and see all the sites that you and your grandmother wanted to see. I want to cross all of those things off your list.”
A tear forms at the corner of my eye. It bubbles over and runs down my cheek. I wipe at it with the back of my hand. In all the chaos that happened when my grandmother died, it never occurred to me that I was going to be missing out on visiting the rest of Ireland. Sure, I was disappointed to be leaving early, but I figured at least I got to see it. “You are the most thoughtful man I’ve ever known.”
“Do you like it?”
“I love it. I can’t wait to go back with you.”
I kiss him, but this time it’s full of gratitude and appreciation for the man he is and for all he does for me. He’s always got my back and looks out for me. He’s completely the opposite of any of my past relationships.
I used to think I knew what love was, but I had no idea. Not until I met Braeden. I couldn’t be more excited to officially move in with him and start planning parties with him. And now I get to go back to Ireland and finish what I started, for me and for my grandmother. She’d love Braeden if she’d had the chance to meet him. And she’d be happy to know I follow her advice every day and follow my heart. It hasn’t let me down.
Bonus Chapter from All In (McLoughlin Brothers Book 2)
Chapter 1
Jackson
“Five. Four. Three. Two. One. Happy New Year!” the crowd chants at the stroke of midnight. Streamers float through the air, champagne glasses clink, and noise makers squeak their songs of joy at the prospect of the coming year.
Amelia plants her warm full lips to mine. Always soft and welcoming. She pulls back and whispers in my ear, “I’m pregnant.”
“What?” I ask, moving my ear closer to her mouth, hoping the proximity will change the words. There’s no way in hell I heard her right.
She repeats herself and her pale hazel eyes search my face for a response. I don’t have one. My mouth goes dry and the taste of my last beer moves up the back of my throat. She has an IUD. She said we were safe. Holy fuck. I take several calming breaths. “Wow.”
“I know this is a surprise. But I wasn’t sure how to tell you.” Her hand moves up my chest and her gaze won’t leave mine.
Just then, my brother, Braeden, and his girlfriend, Scarlette, come up to us. Brae shakes my hand and Scarlette grabs Amelia for a hug. “Happy New Year, guys,” they say in unison.
“Happy New Year,” Amelia says.
Standing in stunned silence, my ever so perceptive brother asks, “Everything okay, man?”
“I’m not sure. Think I might have eaten something that isn’t sitting well.” I grasp my stomach and grimace. “You ready to head out, Amelia?”
“Of course,” Amelia says, her face a mask of concern.
“Sorry we’re taking off early, but I think I need to go to bed.” I kiss Scarlette on the cheek and shake Brae’s hand.
“I hope you feel better,” Scarlette says.
“Thank you,” I say. My brother scored when he and Scarlette started dating. He asked her to move in with him before Christmas. She’s good for him. They balance each other out. I wasn’t sure if he’d ever find the right woman to settle down with. When Scarlette came along, her kind heart and caring ways sealed the deal for Brae. If I were a betting man, I’d say he proposes to her before next New Year.
Amelia and I take an Uber back to my house. It’s only a ten minute ride, but we spend it in near silence. I don’t know what to say to her, but mostly I don’t know how to feel about it.
Amelia is the best woman I know. And I’ve known her forever. She’s my best friend, Will’s, baby sister. That makes her completely off limits. I’ve never let my dick make decisions for me when it comes to her. Until Ireland, four months ago.
When I saw her pictures on social media, I couldn’t believe that we were both there at the same time. She was there with friends and I was with my brothers. We met up one night at a pub and we ended up back in my room, living out all the fantasies that I’d had about her for so many years. It was the hottest sex I’d ever had, not only because it was taboo, but because we connected on an emotional level too. It confused the shit out of me; I’ve never wanted a woman more than Amelia, but my friendship with Will is important to me.
When the Uber pulls up outside my place, we exit the car, thank the driver, and walk inside. We agreed before the night started that we’d be spending tonight at my place, since it’s closer to Braeden’s. I turn the lights on and throw my keys down on the kitchen counter. My house is perfect for me. I bought it a few years ago cheap and flipped it. It’s what I do for a living: build houses with my brothers. Some might call my place a bachelor pad. It’s not huge, but my living room TV is eighty inches. It’s what I need, up-to-date and functional.
Grabbing Amelia’s hand, I ask, “Want to go to bed? I’m exhausted.”
Her face is pale and her shoulder muscles are corded tight. “Jackson, you haven’t said anything since I told you I’m pregnant. You have to talk to me. I can’t stand this silence.”
Brushing the hair back off her shoulder, I kiss her cheek and grab her hand. “Let’s go upstairs and talk.” We walk up the stairs to my bedroom. I strip down to my boxer briefs and crawl into bed.
Amelia stands at the foot of my bed with her arms crossed. “You think I’m going to have sex with you now?”
This would be easier if I wasn’t exhausted. My day started at five a.m. We’re trying to finish a project at work and it’s been taking all of my time. I get out of bed and stand in front of her. “Baby, let’s lie down. I’m not asking you to have sex with me.” It’s time to disarm her. I reach behind her and pull the zipper down the back of her sexy black mini dress. It pools around her feet. Slipping her black lace bra straps down her shoulder, I trace a line straight down her shoulder to her arm. Her eyes smolder; so damn sexy. I could probably take her right now, but that’s not what either of us needs. I go to my dresser and pull out an old SU t-shirt and slip it on over her head. Taking her hand, I lead her to the bed and pull back the covers for her. Her eyes scan me one last time before she slides into the sheets. I climb into my side and pull her head onto my chest. “I’m sorry I haven’t said anything yet.”
She looks up at me and brings her hands under her chin. “How do you feel?”
Great question. I haven’t got a clue. Before Amelia, all
I did was play with women. No commitments, just a good time. When we got back from Ireland, I didn’t know how to act around her, didn’t know if we should take things any further. Neither one of us want to hurt Will. She thinks he’ll take it okay. I don’t agree. I was just wrapping my head around a committed relationship with her. Now all of the sudden she tells me she’s pregnant. I need a minute. “If I’m being honest, I don’t know how to feel.” I run my fingers through the top of her hair. My attempt at soothing her.
She doesn’t look mad. Disappointed, maybe, but not pissed. “Okay. You’re not angry with me.”
“No.” Here I am thinking she hates me because I’m emotionally unequipped to talk to her about this. “I just need a little time to think. It’s a lot to process.”
She sighs and blows a long breath out between her red, full lips. “It is. I can’t believe it either. This isn’t supposed to happen with an IUD.”
“That’s what I thought too.”
“Of course, I’m the .009 percent that this happens to.”
We lie in silence. She’s making little circles with her fingernails on my chest. My eyelids get heavy. “Can we talk about this again in the morning?”
“Okay.”
That’s all I remember before I pass out.
A good night’s sleep does help to tamper the shock. A little. My head is still reeling, but if I don’t man up I’ll hurt Amelia. That’s something I don’t want to do.
She’s lying on her back, and her t-shirt has ridden up, exposing her flat stomach. Touching it with my fingertips, I can’t believe my baby is in there. Her eyes flick open, lids still heavy with sleep. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”
Glancing up at me, her eyes are full of concern. “It’s okay. How do you feel this morning?” Her voice is thick from sleep.
