by Emma Tharp
“Better.” I struggle to paint on a smile. By the look on her face, I’m not sure she buys it.
Lines crease her forehead. Disappointment tugs the corner of her mouth down. “You don’t have to lie to me. I can handle the truth.”
She thinks she can handle it, but I disagree. She doesn’t want to hear what’s going on in my mind right now because I’m still fighting with doubt and fear. I’m such a selfish bastard. The baby of the family who was spoiled rotten, and always got his way. My well-intended mother did everything for me, never forcing me to grow up. Can I really be a good father? Am I ready for all that comes with being a parent? Amelia will be a wonderful mother and she wants me to be as ready as she is. She has always been great with kids, from babysitting to helping out her friends with children. It comes naturally to her. She wants the fairytale, but I’m not Prince Charming. Far fucking from it.
“I’m going to have to build us a house,” I say. If I can steer this conversation away from emotions and expectations and bring it back to practicality, maybe that will make her happy. I know how to make dreams come true in the shape of a new home. “This place isn’t big enough. Babies need space to play and a nursery.”
Her eyes light up. It has the desired effect. “You really want to build us a house?”
“Yeah. Maybe in the new development we’ve been building in. There are a couple of lots left. We can drive over and look at them if you’d like.”
“I was afraid to tell you. I thought you wouldn’t want it.”
She’s always been a pessimist. Her statement doesn’t surprise me. “I was in shock, but I’d never tell you to have an abortion.”
A tear forms at the corner of her eye. I wipe it with my thumb. “Thank you, Jackson.”
Did she honestly think I would tell her to terminate the pregnancy? Christ, I’m not a monster. “You don’t have to thank me. But I have a concern that’s been weighing on my mind.”
“What is it?” she asks.
“Your brother. When are we going to tell him?” Anxiety tugs at my muscles even thinking about telling Will that I’ve been seeing his sister. It’s always been the unwritten rule between us. Now we have to tell him that I got her pregnant. I might not make it out of that conversation alive.
“We have to wait until I’m out of the first trimester. We can’t tell anyone before then. It’s safer.”
“Why is that?” I don’t want to sound stupid, but I have no idea how long a trimester is and why we should wait. I’m going to have to buy a book and do some internet searching later.
“If something happens, it’s easier to not have to go back and explain to everyone.” Her pale eyes scan my face. She must see the confusion. “If I miscarry. It happens to women, and it’s most likely to happen in the first trimester.”
Damn. I’ve got so much to learn.
“Are you going to be okay?” Amelia asks. She’s running her finger along my jaw.
The truth is, I have no idea. What I need is time to wrap my brain around all of this. “I’m afraid of how Will is going to take this.”
“He’ll be okay. Please don’t worry.”
She’s so strong, but also a little naive. At least we’ve got some time to figure out how we’re going to tell him. It’s going to have to be in a very public place, so he doesn’t kill me.
***
The offices of McLoughlin Contracting are quiet this morning. I’ve come in early because I know Patrick is here. He’s always the first one to come in. Today is no different.
My oldest brother, Patrick, is the most levelheaded of the McLoughlin brothers. Braeden and I have always been little hell raisers. Not Patrick; he’s a deep thinker and always makes good decisions. That’s why I came in to talk to him today.
The man is going through his own shit at the moment. His wife left him and his baby daughter a few months ago. Not a single word from her since she took off. It was devastating for all of us. They had what seemed like a perfect marriage. Things aren’t always what they seem. I’m not sure if Patrick will ever get over it.
“Good morning,” I say as I walk into his office. It smells of freshly brewed coffee. His desk is impeccable. Small organized stacks sit there waiting for him to sift through. Nothing is out of order. Unlike mine.
Patrick looks up from his paperwork and gives me a curious grin, the corner of his mouth creeping up the side of his face. “You’re up early.”
Walking toward the seat across from his desk, I sit down and say, “I couldn’t wait to see your smiling face this morning.”
His grin widens to a smile, something you don’t see often on my brother’s face these days. “Right. What’s on your mind?”
You don’t come to Patrick for small talk. “I want to build a house in the new development. There are a couple of lots left, correct?”
“Yes. There are three left. But what’s wrong with your bachelor pad? You love that place.”
He’s right. I’m proud of my place. I’d go there after working long hours and spend most of my evenings fixing it up. I did most of the work myself. “Amelia’s pregnant.”
Usually Patrick can hide his emotions. His face normally doesn’t give anything away. Not today. His lips are pressed tightly together, and his eyes narrow into slits. “Babies are a huge responsibility. Do you think you’re ready for that?”
His situation is clearly playing into his reaction. He’s not angry, more skeptical. Hell, so am I. He and his wife were ready for a baby. They planned for it and look where they are now. “I don’t know if I am, but it’s happening, so I’m going to have to get ready.”
“How did this happen?” His tone isn’t accusatory; it’s curious.
“She has an IUD. We were both shocked.”
“What about your best friend? What’s he got to say about it?”
Cringing inside, I say, “He doesn’t know yet. I don’t think he’s going to take it well. He’s got so much shit going on right now. His wedding is coming up soon. And Amelia wants to wait until the end of her first trimester.”
“When is that?” he asks.
Shaking my head, I say, “I don’t know.”
Patrick laughs at me. “Maybe you should find out.”
It is shameful how much I don’t know. Swiping my hands through my hair, I say, “Cut me some slack. She told me at Brae’s New Year’s Eve party. I’ve had thirty-six hours to sit with this.”
“Sorry, man. I didn’t mean to laugh. This is no joke. You’re the last person I thought I’d hear this news from.”
He’s in shock just as much as I was. Braeden and Scarlette should be next in line to be parents. Certainly not me and Amelia. Not to mention, he knows me. Before Amelia, I was a player with no plans for settling down any time soon, if at all. “It’s okay. I get it. Your fuck-up brother knocked someone up. It’s a big surprise.”
“Don’t call yourself a fuck-up. You’re a successful businessman who would do anything for his family. Sure, you were a player, but that doesn’t make you a fuck-up.”
“Thanks.” I love my brothers. My family is everything to me. “I wanted to talk to you because I don’t know what the hell to do. Thought maybe you could give me some insight.”
He leans back in his chair and crosses his arms over his chest. Once again, his face is blank. He’s trying to figure out what the hell to say to me. “Jackson, it’s going to be okay. You’re going to figure it out. Things will go better for you if you support Amelia.”
“You’re right. I will do right by her.” What kind of a fuck up would I be if I abandoned her while she’s pregnant with my baby? That would be unthinkable. And even as I say the words out loud, I doubt my ability to be someone’s father. “What about you? How’s everything going with you?”
There’s pain in his eyes every time we talk about his life, but I have to ask anyway. He’s my brother and one of the most important people in my life. I’ve been worried about him ever since his wife, Maggie, left him. Patrick is the best fat
her to his nine-month-old daughter.
“The new nanny is okay, I guess. She’s flexible with the hours and she moved into the spare room, but there’s something about her I’m not sure about.”
Patrick’s instincts are on point. “Think you should look for someone else?”
“Yeah, maybe. I’ve got my eye on her for now.”
“Okay, good luck.” I don’t bring up Maggie. If he’s got any news he’d like to share with me, he will. I’ve long since given up on trying to influence his decisions. When she left, we all thought Patrick should try to find her, but he won’t do it. I have to respect his decisions, just like he respects mine. “Guess I’ll get to work. I’ve got some calls to make. Thanks for the talk.”
“Any time,” he says.
Getting up to leave, I turn when Patrick says, “Don’t worry, it’ll all work out.”
I smile over my shoulder at him. Those words bring me comfort. It’s my father’s favorite one liner. My heart might buy it if my head would stop messing with me.
Acknowledgments
Every time I think about writing acknowledgements, the very first person that comes to mind is my super awesome husband. We truly are two halves to a whole. I am blessed to have such an amazingly supportive man in my life. I don’t think I tell him enough. Sam, thank you for being behind me every step of the way!
To my editor, Theresa Schultz, you and your wizard-like powers amaze me every time I read your edits. Mad love to you, girl! My cover designer, Ashley Baumann at Ashbee Designs. Your work is beautiful and this cover shows it. To Nicole Andrews More and all the lovely ladies in Love Kissed, you are awesome! I’ve learned more from you all than I could ever learn in a classroom. I’ve had so much fun working with you and can’t wait to read all of your stories in this anthology. Nicole, you came up with the perfect idea and I had the best time writing Braeden and Lettie’s story. To my CPs, I love you girls. For always taking the first look at my stories and helping them become so much better, Amabel and Lisa, you’re the best. Thank you to all the book bloggers that help get the word out about our stories. Without you hard work and dedication, authors wouldn’t be where they are today. I heartfelt thank you to every single one of you!
To my family and friends, my first fans, I am forever in your emotional debt. You encouraged me the most when I wasn’t sure I would ever hit the publish button. Thanks for continuing to be by my side, cheering me on through all of this.
My fans! I love you all. If I could hug each and every one of you, I would. Thank you for buying my books, posting reviews, emailing me and showing me love. My gratitude runneth over for all of you!
About the Author
Emma Tharp is the author of The Bluff Harbor Series, Keeping It Casual and the McLoughlin Brother Series. She was raised in upstate New York. Being an only child, she spent a great deal of time alone, dreaming up characters who would keep her company on long family road trips. Putting her writing on the back burner, she went to college and became a chiropractor. After spending twelve years healing patients, Emma decided—with the help of her amazingly supportive husband—to use the creative side of her brain and let her characters come to the page.
If she’s not writing, Emma can be found at the gym, one of her kids sporting events, Starbucks, or a live music event.
A perfect day for Emma would be spent at her lake house with her husband, two ginger-haired children, and Vizsla, reading a book and drinking a large cup of coffee (or wine) with music playing in the background.
Contact Emma Tharp at:
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Also by Emma Tharp
What About Her (Book One of the Bluff Harbor Series)
What About Us (Book Two of the Bluff Harbor Series)
Keeping It Casual
Drawn to Dark
