Arsonists Anonymous

by Nora Snowdon

  It felt like it was going to be another slow night. A calmness hung in the air. Odd how the calls seemed so cyclical. Some weeks they were constantly rushing out and others, like this week, they hardly budged from the hall. She wondered if there were any studies to see if certain moon or planetary phases generated more fires. It’d probably be too difficult to separate those aspects from other trends. Like maybe winning or losing teams or stock markets had a bigger effect on the number of fires.

  Her phone buzzed and Lu checked the display. A moment of indecision then she answered it.

  “Hi, Susan.”

  “Hey Lu.” Susan’s high-pitched voice verged on a giggle. “How’s it going?”

  “Great. How about you?”

  “Really good.” There was a pause. “I met a guy.”

  “Fabulous!” Thank God Susan hadn’t phoned to discuss Kaitlynn. “Where’d you meet him?”

  “At the grocery store.”

  “Really? Did he crash into your cart, or did you crash into his?”

  Susan laughed. “No. It wasn’t like that. The local market has started having singles’ nights. I went last Tuesday and that’s when I met him. He’s an architect.”

  “That sounds good. Does he have a job?” Lu changed the bicycle program from 'cardio' to 'hills'.

  “Well, duh.” Susan let out a groan. “He has an office in Eugene. That’s where he lives.”

  “So what was he doing in the grocery store in Springfield?”

  “He was just passing through and stopped in to buy some Perrier. He didn’t even know it was singles’ night!”

  “But—” Lu tried to imagine why anyone would “pass through” Springfield.

  “And you won’t believe this.” Her voice went down to a whisper. “We made out in his Maserati.”

  “Isn’t that a teeny sports car?” Lu couldn’t think of anything else to say.

  “Yeah, but an expensive one.” Susan giggled.

  “Ah.” Lu changed the subject. “So, how’s the job search going?”

  “My God, that’s what else! Greg—my new boyfriend—says he’ll get me a job as a receptionist in his office. But not until his current girl goes on maternity leave.”

  “That sounds good. Does he own the company?”

  “Well, no. But he does all the hiring and stuff. Anyway, I just wanted to tell you, ’cause now I won’t be able to come up to Seattle for a few weeks.”

  Lu massaged the crease between her eyebrows. “I thought you’d already told Kaitlynn you were coming.”

  “Yeah, well … Greg wants me to stay close. He’s so romantic. He hates it when I’m not available.”

  “But you’ve only known him for—?”

  “One week. I know.” She giggled again. The sound was getting on Lu’s nerves. “It’s incredible. Sometimes you just know when someone’s right for you. And he feels the same way!”

  “Um. That’s wonderful. Look, I have to go.” Lu didn’t think she could listen to more about this Perfect-Greg without making some sarcastic remark. Or burning something down. Maybe her friend had found love at first sight, but somehow Lu doubted it. And Susan wouldn’t want to hear Lu’s opinion on the matter, even if she was right. Hell, especially if she was right.

  “Sure, Lu. Maybe you can bring your cop boyfriend up here and we could all go out. I’d like you to meet Greg. I know you’ll love him. Oh, did I tell you he has a pilot’s license, too? He wants to fly me to Paris for the weekend sometime soon.”

  “Wow.” Lu couldn’t stop herself. “What’s his last name? I mean … maybe, um, Byron can suggest his firm for some building contracts in Seattle.”

  “Kelso.” Susan sighed. “Even his name’s perfect. Kelso was my favorite character on That Seventies Show.”

  “Amazing. Well, congrats, and I’ll talk to ya soon.” Lu hung up the phone. Susan couldn’t be that stupid, could she? Then again, she’d gotten married right out of high school and, other than Ross, had no experience in the dating world. And she had a Cinderella complex coupled with a gullible streak wide enough to fill the Grand Canyon. Lu jumped off the bike. She’d take a quick shower and then head to the computer to look up this perfect Mr. Greg Kelso.

  *

  “So what would you do,” Lu asked Byron as he lit the barbeque, “if your friend had fallen head over heels with a con artist?”

  “That’s a tough one.” He turned to look at her. “And your friend has no clue that he’s a player?”

  “Doesn’t seem to.”

  “We see that a lot as cops. Plus,” he admitted, “I’m naturally suspicious about people, but how’d you find out?”

  “The guy sounded too good to be true.”

  “Unlike me?” Byron raised his eyebrows.

  “One word. Maserati.”

  “Ouch.” He smiled. “There are legitimately rich guys out there, you know?”

  “Yeah, but this guy sounded sleazy, so I looked him up. There was a ton of stuff on him.”

  “You mean your friend didn’t even Google her new guy? I thought that was standard op these days.” Byron lined up the steaks and tin-foiled vegetables on the rack beside the barbeque.

  “I think Susan found her Prince Charming and didn’t want to look any deeper.”

  “What’d you find?” He stopped arranging the plates to face her.

  “Married, of course.” She grimaced. “His degree in architecture is from one of those offshore universities pretending to be connected to Harvard. The money seems to be his wife’s inheritance. What the hell does he want from Susan? She hasn’t got any money.”

  “Just a wild guess—sex?”

  “Yeah, but …?”

  “Or he needs someone to make him feel important.”

  “So do I tell her?”

  “Hell, no.”

  “She’ll be crushed when she finds out.”

  “Exactly. That’s when she’ll need to cry on your shoulder. And you’ll tell her that he fooled you, too, so she won’t feel so stupid.”

  “But she should get out now before she gets in deeper.”

  “This is the friend you told me about before, right? Whose husband dumped her?”

  “Yup.”

  “Maybe she knows, but just wants some fantasy herself? So if he’s not stealing from her—”

  “But what about his poor wife?”

  “What about her?”

  “Shouldn’t I tell her?”

  “Maybe she already knows, too, and doesn’t want to admit it.”

  “He shouldn’t be using them both this way.” Lu rubbed muscle between her eyebrows trying to relieve the pain. She hadn’t expected Byron’s response. “Look, it’s just wrong!”

  There was a hiss and flame shot out of the barbeque. Byron jumped and then quickly closed the lid and turned off the gas. Lu took a few deep breaths as she hid her over-heated fingers behind her back.

  “What the—?” He lifted the lid again and peered inside. “It’s never done that before.” He turned it on, studied it suspiciously, and then turned it off again. “Sorry. I think we’ll do these inside in the oven.” Byron looked at her and explained, “I know the guy’s a scum sucker. Don’t get mad at me. I wouldn’t cheat on you. You asked me and I answered. Let her enjoy herself until it’s over.”

  “I’m not mad at you. I’m confused as to—” Her jaws ached from her attempt to keep from lashing out at him. She started over again. “I just can’t believe you think I should ignore this creep who’s—” Lu’s mouth dropped open in frustration as flame flared from the grill again. Oh shit. She placed her fingers on the cool metal table and closed her eyes counting backwards.

  It sounded like Byron was dismantling the propane tank. There was a moment of silence, then Byron’s fingers lightly squeezed her shoulders.

  “Lu? Are you all right?”

  Lu opened her eyes to see him peering at her with concern. “I’m fine. I just …” She shook her head. Damn. Could she no longer have an argument without burning
down the house?

  “Time out.” Byron tilted her face up to look at him. “What’s this really about?”

  “What do you mean? It’s about how, even as a cop, you can say I should ignore what this bastard’s doing.” Lu took a slow breath. My hands are in ice. Cold water down my back. Happy puppies playing in the ocean. She licked her teeth; the taste of soot had gone. She tried again quieter. “It makes me wonder if I even know you.”

  Lu shrugged off his hand resting on her shoulder. She didn’t want him to comfort her. She needed to stay calm and cool, and she needed answers. She just didn’t know what answers.

  “If I confessed to having a wife and a hidden Maserati, would you feel better?” His bewildered smile made it difficult not to smile back.

  “No …Well, maybe.” She still felt grumpy. “I’m just railing at Susan for being so gullible, and here I am practically living with you after only knowing you a few weeks.”

  “But you do know where I work, where I live, what I do. It’s not the same thing at all.”

  Lu backed up so she could see his expression clearly. “Why does Reynolds say you’re unethical?”

  “Did he say that?” Byron’s eyes widened in surprise. “I know he hates me, but—” He shook his head. “I guess I should’ve told you. It was years ago and I’m not proud of my behavior. We were both young hotheads and things got out of control. I’d started working at the hall after Josh and upset his upward trajectory.” He raked his fingers through his hair. “I got the first promotion and he was ready to kill me.”

  Byron turned away. “They were just starting those damned firemen calendars—don’t laugh—and Josh and I were like preening bantams. They sent a woman from the photography studio over to the fire hall. Her name was Marina. She was hot and she knew it. Josh and I were both flirting with her.”

  “She must’ve been overwhelmed.”

  “Maybe.” He shrugged. “A week later Marina called me and we started going out. She asked me not to mention our dates to ‘the other guy from the shoot’ because she didn’t want to insult him. I was sorry I couldn’t rub Josh’s face in it, but meanwhile I was dropping hints like crazy at work.” He laughed bitterly. “Apparently so was Josh, but I was so full of myself I didn’t notice.”

  “You mean she was dating him, too?”

  “Yup.”

  “How’d you find out?”

  “I found out first. I dropped by her basement apartment unannounced and Josh’s little black Corvette was parked out front.”

  “But couldn’t—?”

  “No. It was what it looked like. I was furious. Funny. Marina was just behaving like Josh and me, but it seemed worse because she was a woman. I plotted for about a week then I left a note for Josh supposedly from Marina telling him to stop by her place later that night at eleven o’clock and to just come in through the back door. I left it unlocked and then timed it for him to catch us in bed together.”

  “Ewww.”

  One side of his mouth tilted up in embarrassment. “I can still see the look of shock on both of their faces. Josh had been totally unaware. Later I found out he’d fallen in love with her.”

  “But she was sleeping with you—she couldn’t have been too serious about him.”

  “If he’d brought out a ring, she’d have dropped me in a flash.”

  “Still …?”

  “He’d already bought the ring.”

  “Oh.”

  “She disappeared, but the tensions at work kept escalating. Josh was screwing me over at every opportunity. If something went wrong at the hall, he’d insinuate I was to blame. Luckily I had Ace watching my back or I’d a been long gone.”

  “What about the suspensions you both got?”

  “You have been talking to Ace.” He let out a big sigh. “One day a beautiful woman I don’t know comes into the hall and I flirted with her. It was a habit.”

  “Still is,” Lu informed him.

  “Anyway, Josh comes out of the back room and goes ballistic. Turns out it was his sister.”

  “Holy crap.”

  “Yeah. We’d both been looking for an excuse to beat the shit out of each other. So, we went at it. Eventually they turned a hose on us, but unlike the buddy cop movies, we didn’t become best friends after that. There was damage to the hall, assault charges, and the suspensions. Soon after I got the offer from a friend in the Washington P.D. and I jumped at it.”

  “Hmm.”

  “Wish you didn’t know now?” He smiled ruefully.

  “Kinda.” Lu shrugged. “I guess I shouldn’t have asked.”

  “Keep in mind this was over fifteen years ago. We’ve both changed.”

  “Yeah.” Lu changed the subject. “Hey, can I see your calendar?”

  “I don’t have it anymore.” His answer came too quick.

  “Liar. I bet Ace has a copy. That reminds me. Do you want to go to Ace’s new girlfriend’s house for dinner with me next Tuesday?”

  “You’re ready to admit to the outside world we’re together?” Byron teased.

  “I get the impression that Ace already knows.”

  “He’s quicker than the average bear.” Byron gave her a hug. “I’d love to go with you. And have you thought any more about moving in here? Or you could just move half your stuff so you wouldn’t have to run back and forth so often.” He kissed her neck then whispered in her ear, “That’ll give us more time for other activities.”

  “When you put it that way …”

  CHAPTER 14

  “So do you think the drug kingpin would be involved in the growing? Or would he be just pulling the strings?” Lu asked as Byron drove through the maze of cul-de-sacs leading to Laurel Ann’s house.

  “I was wondering how long it would take you,” Byron answered.

  “What?”

  “I thought you’d’ve asked about the grow-op arsons long ago.”

  “I was giving you enough time to solve the whole thing before I asked,” Lu teased him. “Plus I was waiting for you to ask for my brilliant assistance. I seem to recall that was the excuse you used to get me into bed.”

  “Guilty.” He smirked. “And it worked.”

  “So?”

  “Hell if I know. I’d assume there’d be the kingpin who only deals in the fully processed street-ready merchandise. He—and I’m not being sexist here, I haven’t heard of a female top dog, yet—he just connects people and takes the money without getting his hands dirty.” Byron stopped the car to check for an address. “Then there’re the middle managers who oversee the growing, harvesting, etcetera. And finally the dumb schmucks we usually catch—the caretakers and street sellers. Does that answer your question?”

  “I guess so. Who are you most interested in? Are you trying to catch the dealers or the arsonist?”

  “I’m a cop. I catch crooks. My specialty is arson, which just means that’s the type of cases that get assigned to me. If my case runs alongside the D.E.A. then—” He paused at her look of confusion. “Drug Enforcement Agency.”

  “Oh yeah, my mind blanked.”

  “Then we may have a bit of elbowing as to who takes the collar. And since there’s a murder in there, the Homicide Squad’ll be breathing down both our necks. And if the dead woman was part of a prostitution or human trafficking ring then that’ll bring Immigration and maybe Homeland Security into the ball game.”

  “Holy shit.”

  “Yeah. That part of the biz sucks. But we caught a break in the case this week. We found a cell phone at the scene and they’re mining it for info. It had slid under a dumpster, probably when the owner was running from the fire.”

  “That’s fabulous.” Lu shook her head in disbelief. Maybe a bunch of her worries were over. “That means you know who it is?”

  “Yup, but we still need evidence we can use in court and that’s going to be tough.” He braked for a three way stop sign. “It’s the Vietnamese Triad involved and they’re very slippery. They’ve got good lawyers and whenever w
e get too close, they just send the head honcho home and we’re back to square one in our investigation.”

  “What can you get out of the phone, then?” she asked.

  “It’s owned by a guy named Huang whom we’ve been trying to nail for years. He’s been involved in extortion, human trafficking, and drugs. Now we have the identities of some of his contacts, and possibly some drop dates.”

  “You mean when they’re shipping goods?”

  “Yeah. But he may change everything if he suspects we have his phone. The first run will probably be the tester.” He pulled up in front of a tiny duplex with a thin strip of grass kept to a crew-cut. “This must be it.”

  “I hope I’ll recognize Laurel Ann without her Piggly Wiggly uniform. And remember, we’re only allowed to tell fire fighting stories that make Ace look good,” Lu reminded him.

  “You’re no fun.” Byron opened the trunk to grab the wine.

  “I know. Hey, look at those garden gnomes!” Lu pointed to the brightly painted figurines standing under the rosebushes beside the porch. “We could get a few of those for your place.”

  “No.”

  “Now who’s no fun?” Lu persisted as they walked up the three steps to the door. “You could paint cop uniforms on them and have ’em arresting pink flamingos.”

  “You’re very strange. Did anyone ever tell you that?”

  “And live? No.” Lu pushed the doorbell. She leaned over and quickly kissed him. “If you weren’t so cute, I’d a had you rubbed out weeks ago.”

  The door opened swiftly before he could reply. Laurel Ann was a vision that would’ve struck a blind person. Lu had to keep herself from backing up from the bright floral top tightly encasing Laurel Ann’s voluptuous figure. The teal stretch pants were also remarkable, but Lu managed to refrain.

  “Hi. You must be Lucinda. I’ve seen you a few times in the Piggly, but we’ve never really met.” She reached out and pulled Lu into a squishy hug. “I’m so glad y’all could come. I kept telling Albert to invite you, but you know how men can be.”

  Lu glanced at Byron, but he didn’t seem surprised. “Thanks for inviting me.” She extricated herself with care. “And do you know Byron Morgan?” She was disappointed that Byron only got an enthusiastic handshake.