The Strongman's Spell

by Amorette Anderson

  “Now you have three options,” she told me. “You can scry right, left, or center.”

  “I don’t know what you mean,” I said.

  “Place your finger on the water’s surface,” she said. “Then swipe in the direction you want to go.”

  “Swipe?” I said. “Like on a touch screen? Like a phone or something?”

  “Leave technology out of this,” she said. “Scrying is an ancient art.”

  “Okay,” I said. I crouched down and placed my finger on the ice cold water. A little ripple traveled out from the spot I touched. I paused and looked up at my familiar. “But how do I know which way to swipe?”

  She glared at me. “Left will help you see the past. Right will take you to the future,” she said. “If you point into the reflective surface, it will take you to the Akashic Records.”

  “But I want to see the Record Keeper Reviews,” I said. “You know, on the InterRealm Net.”

  “Marley, child, the Record Keeper Reviews are the Akashic Records, just with an updated interface. Probably for you millennials.” She rolled her eyes.

  “Why is everyone being so hard on millennials today?” I muttered.

  Then I looked back to the water’s surface. My finger was barely touching it. I pressed my finger into the water. Again, ripples traveled outward. This time, they didn’t just distort the reflection I was seeing—they changed it.

  As the ripples moved, I started to see the colors of a beautiful sunset on the water’s surface, even though it was about noon and the sky was blue, not to mention that there was a canopy of trees overhead.

  I watched the blurry pink, peach, and gold colors on the surface as they spread out to cover the whole still pool. I pulled my finger out of the water and sat back on my heels. As I focused on the pool, words started to emerge written in a modern font.

  “Welcome to the Record Keeper Reviews,” the text said.

  “What would you like to do? Access records for the Earth Realm, the Water Realm, the Fire Realm, the Air Realm, or the Spirit Realm

  OR

  Inquire about our print home delivery options

  OR

  Access our RKR crossword of the day

  OR

  Contact a representative to request a record for your facility, event, or personal history”

  I looked up at Skili. “What do I do now?” I asked.

  “Pick an option,” she said.

  “How?” I asked.

  “Tap on it,” she said.

  I grinned and moved my finger. “It is like a touchscreen!” I said. I tapped on the “Access records for the Spirit Realm” option. From there, I was guided to choose from a list of alphabetized establishments. I scrolled through thousands of names—or maybe even millions, I wasn’t sure—quite quickly. The words before me became a blur, and I stopped occasionally to see where I was at. It seemed that they were arranged without preceding articles, so I aimed for the “L” section for “Lazy” instead of the “T” section for “The.”

  I saw “Loraine’s Sweets for Spirits with a Sweet Tooth” and knew that I’d gone too far. I scrolled back a bit.

  “Lazy Susan’s Scrabble Store.” I was getting closer! I scrolled back some more, very slowly, until I saw it: “Lazy S Inn.”

  I tapped on it.

  A new image emerged on the water’s surface. This time, it was of an inn. It was beautiful. It looked like an old Victorian house, painted in an array of pastel colors, perched on a cotton-candy pink puff of a cloud. White curtains in each window rippled as if in a gentle breeze, and a row of white rocking chairs lined the large porch.

  “It looks so relaxing,” I murmured. For a brief instant, I imagined what it would be like to sit on the porch and be a “passerby.”

  Then I shook my head a bit. I wasn’t on the site to daydream. I was there to find information.

  I reached out and scrolled down until I saw some text appear on the water’s surface.

  The Lazy S Inn

  One might hope that an inn in the Spirit Realm would provide beings with a relaxing getaway. This is not the case. The Lazy S Inn is a poorly run establishment, which, thanks to the lack of competent leadership, sucks guests into a nightmare of stressors. The first stressor that I encountered during my stay was a very disagreeable conversation with the inn’s owner, Sarin. She insisted on asking me very personal questions about my relationships, and continued pestering me until I relented, which I found to be quite rude.

  When she finally led me to my room, I faced a great disappointment. The room was very small, and there was no lock on the door. Nor were there shades or curtains on the windows. I was upset, needless to say, about this lack of privacy. When I returned to the front desk to complain about it, Sarin merely laughed. I was left with no choice but to spend the night in the room, completely unprotected and vulnerable. The ceiling fan rattled the entire time, and I got but a few hours of sleep.

  The bathroom had zero ventilation, and completely filled with steam after I took my shower, to the point where I could barely dry off. There was no continental breakfast on offer. Indeed, I didn’t see one lick of food anywhere, and Sarin was once again very unhelpful when I inquired about the nearest restaurant. She wouldn’t give me any answers. She also told me that there was no entertainment in the area. I cut my stay short and checked out only eighteen hours after checking in. All in all, it was a horrible experience, and I do not recommend this nightmarish, poorly-run inn.

  Once I finished reading the record, I sat back and gave a low whistle. “Beatrix was right. Carlisle didn’t hold back,” I said. “This record is pretty detailed.”

  “That’s his job,” Skili said.

  “Yeah... He really ripped on this inn,” I said. “I can see why Sarin was upset.” I moved my finger over the water until the image of the inn appeared again. “I wonder if it’s really that bad? It doesn’t look ‘nightmarish.’ It actually looks kind of nice.”

  I heard the sound of a twig snap just behind me. I figured it must be Skili, landing on the ground next to the stream so that she could get a closer look at the water’s surface. I continued. “I mean, look at those rocking chairs. Wouldn't it be nice to just sit in one of those chairs and watch the sky for a little while? Maybe watch a sunset, or listen to the birds, or just daydream?”

  I expected Skili to answer.

  Instead, I heard an unfamiliar, bone-chilling whisper. “Oh, it’s very nice...” it said. “Extremely relaxing...”

  At the same time, I felt a hand grip my shoulder. The hand was ice cold.

  “Ah!” I screamed, spinning around.

  A cloaked figure was crouched down on the rocky shore next to me. I stared right into a shadowy face. A gray hood hung low over the face’s brow, obscuring the eyes.

  The gray, rough wool of the cape was ratty and torn, I could see now, from up close. The grip on my shoulder was firm.

  I reached up for the hand and pushed it off of me. At the same time, I sprung up to my feet. “Let go of me!” I shouted.

  “Woah, Nellie,” the caped figure said in that same rattly whisper. Then it placed a hand on its chest and cleared its throat. “Ah hem! Sorry. Frog in my throat. Not a literal frog, but you know what I mean.”

  It coughed a few more times. Then it reached its hand up and pushed the hood off. “This darn cape,” it said with a clear, female voice.

  A face emerged.

  I saw a round face with caramel-colored skin, like mine. Dark, glossy hair. Pink-framed glasses, studded with diamond-like rhinestones. Pink lipstick.

  She finished removing her hood and gave her feathered hair a shake. “Whew! That’s better,” she said. “That hood makes it awfully hard to see. I’m Kitty Ghupta. I’m a recruiter for the Lazy S Inn. Nice to meet you.” She stuck out her hand and offered a friendly smile.

  I eyed her suspiciously. “Why did you sneak up on me like that?” I asked. I didn’t shake her hand. She waited with it extended, but I crossed my arms over my chest. �
��And what are you doing here?” I asked. “You shouldn’t have entered the Earth Realm uninvited.”

  “My apologies,” she said sweetly while lowering her hand. “You were so wrapped up in your scrying, you just didn’t hear me approach. And as for my uninvited presence—that’s just how us recruiters work. We have to show up uninvited. Most beings who need our services don’t actually know that they want to have a conversation about other options. We have to convince them.”

  I stepped back. I was near the stream, so I couldn’t back up much, but I did back up about a half a foot. It felt good to create some space between myself and the recruiter. “So you just barge into people’s lives uninvited?” I asked.

  She nodded. “Pretty much!” she said cheerfully. “That’s in my job description. That’s why this work is so challenging, to be honest. But I always find that once I make that first contact, things get easier from there. So, are you ready to chat?”

  “No,” I said. “I’m not. But I am ready to take you back to the portal gate.”

  “Come on now,” she said. “I was watching you look at the Lazy S Inn... there was longing in your eyes. You want to visit. Let’s talk about that.”

  “No thanks,” I said. “And by the way, I don’t like being spied on.”

  “I wasn’t spying,” she said. “Just observing.” She adjusted her bubble-gum pink glasses and gave me another smile. “Trying to help,” she said.

  I took in her appearance again. “Ghupta... is that Indian?” I asked.

  She nodded. “I’m from India—Bangladesh, to be exact—originally. My father was a guru there. One of Sarin’s recruiters approached me while I was doing a purifying ceremony one day. He started visiting regularly, and I finally decided to book a room at Sarin’s Inn. The rest is history! I loved my time there so much that I decided to stay—for good. I started working for Sarin, too. I absolutely love my job. It feels wonderful to be helpful.”

  I gave her one more skeptical up and down. “What’s with the creepy, ratty cloak?” I asked. I didn’t mean to offend her. I was genuinely curious. It seemed to me that if one wanted to approach beings uninvited, a respectable appearance might help the cause.

  “Oh, this old thing?” she asked, plucking at the thick wool material. “Most of us recruiters wear these when we’re traveling to realms that have unfavorable atmospheres.” She gave a little laugh. “Which is every Realm besides the Spirit Realm, really. Sometimes I can’t believe I lived here on Earth for twenty-three years. It is so darn heavy here.”

  On that, I had to agree. “It really is,” I said. “I think that sometimes, too. So it’s not like this, in the Spirit Realm?”

  “Not at all,” she said. “As you could see in the pictures, the ground is made up of clouds. Everything floats. When I’m there, I feel light. I’m not rooted to the ground like this.” She looked down to the snow-covered earth. “I feel like I’m walking through glue when I’m here,” she said. She grimaced. “And this white stuff—”

  “Snow,” I said.

  “Right. Snow. There’s none of that in the Spirit Realm. In fact, there’s much less polarity in general. None of this hot-cold, good-bad, pain-pleasure stuff. Everything just goes along on an even keel. It’s very pleasant.”

  “It sounds like it,” I said. I once again found myself imagining what it would be like to sit rocking on the porch of the Lazy S. Barely grounded. Floating. A sense of equanimity.

  “It sounds peaceful,” I said.

  “Oh, it is,” she replied. Then she reached into a patchwork pocket on her cloak and pulled out a little notepad. “So, how long would you like to stay? The rates go down the longer you stay, you know. Our long-term guests barely pay at all. I could book you a room that allows pets, if you’re planning on bringing your owl. There’s just a small pet deposit fee.”

  “Skili sleeps outside,” I said. Then, “Hey! I didn’t say I wanted to book a room.”

  I thought back to what Neil the Strongman had said, about the recruiters being manipulative. He certainly was right.

  “I’m fine here on Earth,” I said. “My coven is here, I have a great boyfriend, and I just started this whole retreat center thing. I have a purpose here.”

  I saw a shadow of annoyance flicker across her face, but she hid it well with a quick smile. “No problem!” she said cheerfully. “If you’re not ready to book your stay right this moment, that’s fine. Really, our first conversation is just about planting seeds. I’d hate for you to feel like I was pressuring you. Just think about what I’ve said, okay?”

  “I’m actually going to try not to think about it,” I said. “I have enough on my plate right now.”

  She shrugged. “Whatever works for you,” she said. “Really, Marley, no pressure. Sarin warned me that you might hang onto the notion of sticking around Earth, because of your mother and all.”

  I felt a chill. What did she mean by that?

  She continued before I could ask. “I know you’ll come to your senses sooner or later,” she said. “Everyone does. I just hope you don’t let things get too out of hand here before you book a stay. Some folks wait until they reach total and utter exhaustion. I’d really hate to see you reach that point.”

  “Will you just stop already?” I said. “I can feel you manipulating me, Kitty. Everything’s fine here. I’m not going to reach exhaustion.” I examined her for a moment, thinking. Then I said, “I don’t get it. If you are here to recruit me to Sarin’s inn, why did you wait so long to make contact? What were you doing yesterday?”

  “I was... just getting my bearings,” she said. She looked away. I sensed she was lying.

  “Were you by any chance in Carlisle Crimson’s room?” I asked.

  “Nope! Don’t know what you’re talking about!” she said quickly.

  I drilled in harder. “Then what were you doing yesterday? Where were exactly from 3:10 to 4:10 in the afternoon?”

  “Gotta run!” she said. She flipped up her hood, whirled around, and started running from me.

  I started after her. “Wait one minute!” I said. “Kitty! Kitty Ghupta!”

  I charged through the trees, and at first, I thought I was going to catch her. Her cloak was billowing out behind her, and a few times I almost touched it when I reached out. But each time, she got away. The distance between us widened. She darted into a particularly thick grove of spruce trees, and I lost her.

  “I lost her,” I transmitted to Skili, who was flying overhead.

  “I see her still,” Skili said.

  “Can you try to stop her?” I asked.

  “No,” Skili said, “I don’t attack unless it’s absolutely necessary, Marley child. I’m a peaceful bird, and you’re a peaceful witch.”

  I knew she was right.

  However, I didn’t like the fact that Kitty was once again on the loose. “But she might be a murderer,” I said.

  “Might is the key word,” Skili said. “Let’s focus on solving this case.”

  “And just let her go?” I asked.

  “For now,” Skili said with a nod.

  “I don’t like it,” I said. “At the end there, she was evasive when I started asking about her whereabouts yesterday afternoon. That was guilty behavior, for sure.”

  “That may be,” Skili said. “But we can’t accuse her of murder based solely on her guilt.”

  “Fine,” I said.

  I turned and started walking toward the center. As I walked, I pulled out my phone and composed a group text.

  To: Penny, Cora and Azure

  Hey guys! I just found the recruiter. Actually, she found me. She’s actually not so bad. I mean, she’s not like a grim-reaper sort of character, running around with a scythe or anything.

  Her name is Kitty. I wasn’t able to get her to leave the Earth Realm. She ran away before I could accompany her to the gate. I guess for now we can stop trying. I don’t feel like she’s an acute threat.

  I read over my message, to make sure I’d gotten dow
n all that I wanted to say.

  Almost.

  Anyone want to meet out on the deck for lunch? I added. Then the message felt complete.

  I hit send and started to walk even faster. I was excited to see what kind of food Annie’s catering spell had conjured up for our mid-day meal.

  Chapter Twelve

  “A sandwich bar!” Penny said happily, eying the spread before us.

  I was practically drooling. “Look at all that fresh bread.” I inhaled the scent. “Oh... there’s stuff for a bahn mi. That sounds so good right now.” I reached for a plate.

  “Bon what?” Penny said. She followed my lead, and reached for a plate off of the pile, too.

  Around us in the lobby, magical creatures were gathered in little groups, chatting about the morning’s events. I could see, through the glass French doors, that a few guests were out on the sunny deck, too. Everyone seemed happy, as though Neil’s talk had really delivered.

  “Bahn mi,” I said, as I opened up a fluffy baguette and placed it on my plate. “It’s a kind of sandwich, Vietnamese, I think. They’re so good. Pickled daikon and carrots, chillies, fresh cilantro, and marinated tofu.” I started assembling my sandwich.

  “I only understood about half of the words you just said,” Penny told me. She reached for some slices of ham. “You can do your marianette dike-whatever pickle thing, but I’m going to make up a good ol’ ham and cheese on white bread.”

  She reached over me and grabbed a slice of Swiss off of a large platter of cheeses.

  I dug a pair of silver tongs into a bowl of pickled carrots. “I think we should keep Annie’s spell up and running even when we’re not hosting guests here,” I said.

  “I don’t know if it’ll work,” Penny said. “We can’t use magic for personal gain, remember? I can only conjure up magical food for myself when I’m using it as fuel for doing good.”

  “As opposed to what... evil?” I asked.

  Penny laughed. “Not evil,” she said. “But sometimes, I’m not doing good, I’m just hanging out and doing nothing. And when I’m having a real lazy day, I try to conjure food and it just won’t appear.”