by Lizzie James
Sammy smiled at me and held his hand out for the paper. I frowned, confused. He took it, making a quick jog to the bin.
I bent down, grabbing my pencil and shoving it in my jeans pocket. Sammy joined me as I exited the park, falling in step with me. We fell into a comfortable silence as we strolled home, both lost in our own thoughts, I guess.
As we got further up our street, I chuckled as I saw a few boys outside Sammy's house throwing a football back and forth to each other.
Boys and their toys.
“So, when is your first game?” I asked, nodding my head toward them.
Sammy followed my line of sight, grinning when he saw them. “Not until the end of October.” He frowned, the smile vanishing from his face. “I’m just a reserve.”
I frowned with him. He seemed gutted; it was obvious he was a lover of the game and he had to sit on that bench, just waiting to be called up.
“You’ll get there.” I gave a pathetically gentle punch to his arm, trying to show my support.
We were outside Joy’s house and I stared down at my sneakers, feeling awkward. Did I give him a hug? Shake his hand? I hated being social with people.
I raised my hand, opting for a wave but my attention was quickly taken when Logan threw the ball in our direction. He called Sammy's name, but Sammy was too slow to turn to catch it in time.
I half-gasped, half-shrieked and threw my arms up to shield my head from getting hit.
Nothing happened. I wasn’t knocked to the ground by the ball, and I wasn't hit by the object either.
I slowly lowered my hands and peeked up.
I gasped when I saw Johnny was standing at my side, with his arm extended in front of my face, holding the ball.
He glared across the street before looking down at me. “You okay?” he asked gently, looking concerned.
I nodded, feeling tense. If that ball had hit me in the head, I would have been on the floor. “Y-yeah,” I stuttered. I hugged my sketch pad to my chest, acting as if everything was okay.
“Be careful where you’re throwing the ball!” he yelled, tossing the ball back to Logan.
“Sorry, Till,” Logan called back, before resuming throwing the ball back to his team mates.
Sammy gave me a small wave and jogged across the street to join his friends.
“You sure you’re okay?” Johnny cocked an eyebrow at me, as though he was expecting me to give him another answer. “You look a bit... freaked.”
I gave him a warm smile. “I’m okay,” I nodded, trying to inject some positivity in my tone.
“Well, I had better go." He pointed across the road. He obviously had a lot on his plate living with team mates.
I gave him a small smile before moving past him into Joy’s garden.
After a few steps, I spun around. “Johnny!”
He turned, looking at me seriously.
“Thank you.” It was sincere. Since I had been little, I had only ever had my Dad to look after me. It was always just me and him.
He smiled warmly at me, nodding his head before continuing his walk across the street.
I turned back, walking in to Joy's home, my new home, feeling lighter than I had since arriving here.
Maybe Johnny wasn’t so bad.
Sure, he could be cocky and an asshole jock, but beneath that... beneath that, I had a feeling there were a lot more layers than people realized.
If I was honest, if I could pick between ‘Johnny: the asshole jock’ or ‘Johnny: the boy who stopped me getting hit by a flying ball’, I’d pick the latter.
Which would be bad.
For me.
I didn’t have the strength or energy to hold on to a guy like that.
I was better off alone.
4
Johnny
Walking home from college, I thought back to the last time Tillie and I had spoken. It had been the day Logan had almost knocked her out with that throw. She had disappeared from Joy’s after my teasing. The whole time I’d browsed through the color collection, I hated the anxiety that had crawled through my veins. I hated that my teasing had made her leave her own home.
I shook my head, still angry with myself.
Since that day, I had barely seen her. Every time our paths were due to cross, she’d do a one-eighty and turn around, cross the street or just march up to someone and start talking to them. Anything she could do to avoid me, she made sure to do it.
Walking toward Joy’s home, I saw that she was out fussing over her flowers, like always. Stopping outside, I leaned my arms on her garden wall, watching her pull some loose weeds up.
I coughed exaggeratedly, alerting her to my presence. “So, what are you doing?” I grinned cheekily at her.
“Just making my hedges look pretty.” She smiled up at me, her eyes twinkling. She straightened up, getting to her feet and walking closer to me. “I thought you were supposed to be bringing that little brother of yours over.” She cocked her eyebrow at me with a no-nonsense attitude.
I cringed, knowing she was right. I had promised. Joy probably just assumed I had forgotten but that couldn’t have been further from the truth. Sitting opposite the girl that plagued every one of my thoughts and knowing she wouldn’t look at me and would probably prefer Logan to be there wasn’t really on my list of things to do.
“Uh, yeah, I’m sorry about that.” I rubbed the back of my neck, hating lying to her. “It's just that...” I looked back at her, seeing the look of concern on her face. “Practice has been intense.”
She nodded, a look of understanding coming across her face. “How about tomorrow?” she asked, smiling warmly at me. “Tillie can help me cook for us. Logan and Chunk are welcome to join us.”
I mentally groaned in defeat: I could never refuse Joy but then she had to start dangling Tillie in front of me. “Tomorrow sounds good,” I smiled, giving her a small wave, and jogged across the street.
Walking into the house, I heard the sound of revving engines. Chunk and Logan were racing each other on their Need for Speed game and Sammy was sitting in the corner, staring out the window, as per usual.
Ever since he had arrived at college, he’d been different. In my first year of college, I would go home for as many of the breaks as I could manage. He was always fine—still my little brother.
Lately though, something had changed in him. It was like he had this added weight on his shoulders. I wish I could blame the football or his heavy workload with his classes, but I couldn’t even say that. Unfortunately, he arrived here like this.
I decided I should just bite the bullet and talk to Mom. Maybe she knew what was wrong.
I clapped my hands together loudly, gaining everyone’s attention. “No plans tomorrow night, guys! Joy is expecting us for dinner.”
Logan and Chunk nodded their heads, but Sammy didn’t even acknowledge me.
I walked over and gently kicked his shoe. “Did you hear me?” I cocked my eyebrow at him, crossing my arms.
He nodded his head enthusiastically. “I heard.” He gave me a tight smile, getting to his feet and moving past me. Seconds later he was up the stairs to his room.
I shook my head, opening the door to the cellar. Jogging down the stairs, I wanted nothing more than to just lose myself down here for a few hours—just shut the door, block it all out and disappear into the dark.
I pulled my t-shirt and jeans off, grabbing my sweats from the locker I kept down here and slid them on. Grabbing the bandage, I wrapped it around my knuckles, not really wanting any bruises to form.
Jogging from side to side, I threw my arms out in my routine pattern, warming up my muscles. My fists collided with the punching bag chained to the ceiling. Every punch I landed, images flashed in my mind—the same images, as if they were on repeat, almost like a video that was on a constant loop.
Tillie.
Every laugh and every smile I had ever witnessed lit up in my brain. These images should have calmed me down, really. Instead, they riled me up, ma
de me angry. Every smile, every laugh; they had always been with the same person: Logan. Always fucking Logan.
Every time I would turn my head, she’d be there, talking to him, smiling at him. Of all the people she had to get attached to, why did it have to be my fucking housemate?
I threw my fists harder at the punching bag, no longer using it as a quick hour of exercise. Anyone would swear I had Logan inside the bag the way I was hammering it.
I heard the door creak at the top of the stairs and I stopped my pounding on the bag and turned around. “What?” I snapped, unwinding the bandage from my hands and folding it in a coil. I frowned when I had no answer. I looked up, surprise filling me when I saw who it was. “Tillie?”
She was the last person I expected to see.
“Hi.” She gave me a shy smile, waving her hand awkwardly at me.
We were a few yards apart but even from there, I could see her eyes trail over my sweaty chest. I liked that she was checking me out.
Her eyes flashed back up to mine, a faint blush creeping over her cheeks.
“What can I do for you?” I asked. I walked over to my locker, grabbing my discarded t-shirt and pulling it on.
If she was any other girl, I would have had her pressed up against the wall by now. Tillie was different, though. If I had to move slow with her, then that’s what I’d do.
“Never mind.” She shook her head, placing her hand on the bannister. “You’re obviously busy.” She waved her hand up and down, dismissively.
“I’m not.” I cocked my eyebrow, giving her a small smile. “So?” I left the question open. Not giving her room to escape.
She sighed, sounding defeated. Her eyes trailed to the floor, avoiding my stare. She mumbled something, but I couldn’t hear.
I walked closer to her, needing her to repeat it. “Sorry?”
She sighed, raising her head to meet mine. “I messed up.” She swallowed loudly, nibbling on her delectable, bottom lip. “I was supposed to pick up Joy's pain medication for her back on my way home from campus and I completely forgot.”
She was babbling now and talking fast.
“The only pharmacy that’s open at this hour is the one on the other side of town and that’s like an hour and there are no buses running and...”
“Tillie.” I spoke her name calmly because I could see she was starting to panic. “Relax. We'll borrow Chunk's car.”
I passed her on the stairway, inhaling her scent as I passed. Fuck. The sweet scent of vanilla and strawberries hit my senses. That would be appearing in my one-handed fantasy tonight.
As I walked into the lounge, I saw that Chunk and Logan were still in their positions, trying to ram each other off the road on the screen. “Chunk, can I borrow your car?” I asked, knowing what his answer would be already.
He turned, his eyes going from me to Tillie and then back again. “Sure, dude.” He stood up, taking his keys from his pocket and tossing them at me.
“Thanks, bro.” I grabbed my hoodie off the hook by the door, quickly slipping it on and nodded my head toward the door. “Ready?”
She nodded, putting her hands in her hoodie pocket and walking toward me.
“Have fun,” Logan called from his seat. Not even bothering to turn around. “Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.” He chuckled, turning around and giving Tillie a wink.
I rolled my eyes at his immaturity but smirked when I saw Tillie’s eyes widen.
I held the door open, following Tillie before jogging ahead of her, unlocking the car and holding the passenger door open for her. “After you, my lady.” I mockingly bowed like a Disney prince, making her giggle.
I smiled in response, loving the sound.
Jogging around the car, I climbed into the driver seat, clipping my seat belt into place. Pulling out into traffic, I followed her directions to the other side of town. I knew where to go but I wasn’t going to tell her to shut up.
I loved listening to her talk to me, even if it was only directions.
Pulling up outside the pharmacy, I waited in the car while she went inside. Minutes later, Tillie was exiting the pharmacy. She didn’t get very far when a group of young boys stood in her way, blocking her path. They wasted no time in crowding her.
Getting out of the car, I marched over to her, hating the look of fear on her face. I heard them laugh before one of them reached over and touched her shoulder.
Her eyes shot to mine, cringing when he touched her. I leaned my hand forward, planning to rip him off her by the scruff of his neck when she shook her head, looking even more scared.
I clenched my fist in response, dropping my hand.
“Problem, babe?” I cocked an eyebrow at them, hoping she appreciated me not rearranging their faces.
The guy dropped his hand and they all turned to face me.
Pussies.
I curled my lip in disgust, wanting nothing more than to smash my fist into his face.
“There a reason you’re touching my girl?” I glared at him, acting like the pissed off boyfriend. I held my hand out to Tillie and not even a second went by before she’d grasped it, squeezing my fingers with hers. Pulling her closer to my side, I gave them a glare. No fucker touched Tillie, especially if she didn’t want to be touched.
Walking her back to the car, I noticed she had a death grip on the pharmacy paper bag. Getting in on the driver side, I turned the ignition, stopping when I noticed her hands were shaking. I leaned over, turning the heater dials and turning the air flow in her direction. “Are you cold?” I asked, turning to look at her.
She raised her hand up to wipe beneath her eye.
Tears. I fucking hated tears.
“Tillie…” I frowned, at a loss of what to say. “Don’t cry.”
She shook her head, turning her face away from me.
“Hey.” I took her chin in my hand, turning her face back to mine. “Don’t hide from me.”
Tears slowly trickled down over her cheeks. Taking her face in my hands, I wiped them away, rubbing her beautiful soft skin as I did.
“Sorry,” she whispered, her eyes flicking downwards.
“It’s okay,” I replied cockily. “It’s not the first time I’ve had a beautiful woman crying in front of me.” I winked playfully at her, making her giggle.
Driving home, I began chatting to her about the latest Star Wars trailer. From that moment, I don’t think she took a breather. It was safe to say, Tillie was a massive fan. We quickly got into a debate over Han Solo or Luke Skywalker. She was Team Han the whole way whereas I had always been on Team Luke.
Pulling up outside Joy’s, I smiled when I saw a look of surprise cover her face.
“Thank you so much for taking me, Johnny.” She smiled over at me, unclipping her seat belt.
My chest tightened at her words, making me smile at her. “Anytime.” I grinned over at her, loving the way a few loose strands from her bun had come undone, framing her beautiful face. My fingers twitched, wanting nothing more than to reach over and tuck them behind her ear. I mentally groaned, inwardly rolling my eyes at myself. Since meeting this girl, I had turned into a complete pussy. She was all I thought about. She owned me completely and didn’t even realize it. “You’re welcome.” My eyes flicked behind her when I saw Joy making her way down the garden.
Unclipping my belt, I made my way out of the car, trying not to look as disappointed as I felt.
Damn meddling old lady.
“There you are.” Joy smiled up at Tillie, wasting no time in pulling her down into a small hug.
“Don’t you have any faith in me?” I grinned down at her, rolling my eyes jokingly. “I wouldn’t kidnap her.”
Joy chuckled, turning to me and holding her arms out for a hug.
I leaned down, returning the gesture and hugging her. Pressing a quick kiss to Joy’s cheek, my eyes collided with Tillie. I loved the way her face lit up at my interaction with Joy. She liked it.
“He was a perfect gentleman, Joy,” Tillie sai
d. “He saved the day.”
Joy grinned, moving back to Tillie’s side and looping her arm with Tillie’s.
“So, what do I get for a reward?” I smiled at Tillie, cocking my eyebrow.
She chuckled, turning to Joy, shrugging her shoulders, and she giggled when Joy narrowed her eyes.
“Maybe when you and the boys come over for dinner tomorrow evening, Tillie will have some of her chocolate orange cake waiting.”
My mouth watered at the thought. This girl would be the death of me.
I held my hand out to Tillie, smiling when she slid her small one into mine.
“You’ve got yourself a deal.”
Tillie laughed loudly as I shook her hand, squeezing softly before letting go.
She looked down at Joy with a look of adoration on her face. “Should we go in and sort this out then?” she asked, shaking the pharmacy bag.
Joy nodded, turning toward the gate.
“Good night, ladies.” I nodded my head, my eyes once again going to Tillie.
“Good night, Johnny,” she softly replied before stepping toward me.
I frowned at her actions before she softly placed her hands on my chest, leaned up on her tiptoes and pressed a quick kiss to my cheek. She pulled back, walking through the front garden and shutting the front door.
I walked over to the house, grinning like a goofy fucker the whole way and I don’t think I had stopped smiling until I got into the house. Heading to the kitchen, I grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge.
What felt like moments later but was obviously much longer, I looked toward the door. Chunk, Logan and Sammy all had their heads poked around it, staring at me like I had three heads.
“What?” I snapped, taking a swig of the bottle.
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Chunk chuckled, straightening up. “You’re grinning like a weirdo.”
I rolled my eyes, letting him take the piss. “Whatever.” I moved past them, heading for the stairs. “I’m going to have an early night.”
