by Lizzie James
Jogging up the stairs, I groaned when I heard them laughing.
I was completely fucked.
5
Tillie
All day, I had been a nervous wreck. No clue why, really, because I had nothing at all to be nervous about.
Okay, that was a lie. I had one reason to be nervous.
In fact, my reason to be nervous was six feet tall, smiled like Thor and made me weak in the knees.
Since starting college, Johnny had been a player, one of the jocks and basically untouchable to a girl like me, but when that boy smiled—damn—my immediate reaction was to swoon.
Looking back on my time here, anyone would think that if there was a boy I'd develop a stupid crush on, it would be Logan—I mean, he’s the one that had helped me when I needed it and found a safe place for me to live—but there was just something about Logan that put me off. I don't know what it was. I couldn't put my finger on it.
But last night, when I needed someone, Johnny hadn’t hesitated. He’d dropped everything to help me. Watching the way he was with Joy also didn’t help my racing pulse.
Spending my teen years under a single dad's roof, boys were never part of the equation. After Mom died, art and studies took over. I guess I’d just never found someone that made me think of them like that.
Well, that was then.
Now was a completely different story.
Now, I was completely screwed.
Looking out of the window, I could see the four boys leave their home and start making their way across the road. I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw they were dressed casually.
I was dressed the same: I had my black Empire Strikes Back t-shirt on, leggings and my blue sneakers. It took a lot for me to get fancy.
Stirring the Bolognese sauce, I hummed at the rich, tomato scent. I had been hoping to get away with just making enough lasagne for everyone, but thankfully Joy told me that Sammy was a vegetarian, so I’d opted to make a tofu Bolognese for him.
Just like last time, Logan was here. He walked straight in without knocking and I chuckled at his informality. Take him or leave him, Logan was his own unique self.
Walking to the fridge, I pulled the chocolate orange cake out that Joy had been proudly raving about the previous day to Johnny, and placing it on the worktop, I froze when I felt the heat of someone standing right behind me.
“That looks delicious,” Johnny said from behind me.
I chuckled at the eagerness in his tone, and, turning around, I looked up at him.
“Did you make that just for me?” He grinned, reaching down and tucking a lock of hair behind my ear.
I blushed at the contact, leaning back from him.
“Not just for you.” I grinned back, sliding the cake topper on to protect its freshness.
Moving aside, I went back to the stove, keeping my attention on that instead of the distraction behind me.
“I’ll leave you to it and go and sit with Joy.” He smiled at me, leaving me in the kitchen.
It was going to be a long night.
“That was the best lasagne I think I have ever tasted,” Chunk enthused, leaning back and rubbing his stomach.
“The food was lovely. Thank you, Tillie,” Sammy said, next to me.
I blushed, not expecting any praise at all. “You’re welcome.” I smiled at him, receiving one back. “I’ll tub the rest of it up for you and you can take it home if you like?”
He nodded, giving me a cheeky grin.
I looked over at Johnny and he gave me a smile, silently mouthing the words ‘thank you’ at me.
I stood up, grabbing mine and Sammy's dishes, and Johnny went to stand. I shook my head at him, pointing my head to Joy.
He nodded, remaining in his seat.
After collecting the plates, I deposited them in the sink, washing my hands before moving to the cake. Cutting six slices, I slid them onto individual saucers and served them with dessert spoons to our guests.
By the time I took my seat, Logan’s cake was practically gone. I laughed when I saw how much chocolate was on his cheeks.
I grinned, loving the way Johnny groaned when he tasted it. I slid the spoon into my mouth, licking the smudge of chocolate on the underside of the spoon as my eyes once again met Johnny's, just in time to see his mouth drop as he watched my tongue lick the spoon.
I wasn’t a complete idiot. I had read enough cheesy romance novels to know that look.
I licked my bottom lip, watching his eyes widen and follow the movement. My breath stilted when I saw his hand lift from the top of the table and disappear beneath, and I was shocked when I saw him fidgeting.
I picked my saucer up, escaping to the kitchen.
What was wrong with me? I never got attracted to the opposite sex. Now I had to go and develop these stupid feelings for the campus stud.
I shook my head at myself, emptying the remains of my cake into the bin. I had suddenly lost my appetite. I turned around, surprised that I had company. Surprised and very thankful that it wasn’t Johnny.
“Hi, Sammy.” I smiled warmly at him, only now noticing how quiet he had been all night. “Let me take those.”
He grinned, handing the plates over to me.
Standing at the sink, I dunked the plates beneath the water.
“How about you wash, and I dry?” He had a mischievous twinkle in his eye and his smile mirrored his brother’s. How could I say no to that?
Whilst I was getting my fingers all wrinkly, Sammy described the mood of game day, and I laughed at his story-telling. Apparently, I was to prepare myself for the whole town to go crazy. Lots of people even wore face paint in the team's colors to cheer them on. He promised to get a hot dog with me at the game when I told him I had never been to one before. He was sweet, and I knew he’d make someone very happy.
I turned around after I’d washed the final spoon and saw Johnny standing in the doorway to the kitchen, watching mine and Sammy's interaction. He smiled shyly at me.
“You ready, bro?” he asked, looking past me at Sammy.
“Let me finish helping Tillie with these dishes and I’ll be with you.” He grinned, making use of one of Joy's cleanest towels on her rack, and seconds later, Johnny had joined in, helping Sammy to finish the dishes in double time.
Scooping healthy portions of both the spaghetti Bolognese and the lasagne into refillable tubs, I popped them in a plastic bag.
Walking into the lounge with Sammy and Johnny following me, I watched as Joy led Chunk and Logan to the front door. I smiled as I heard her chattering away to them.
Sammy gave me a small wave and walked on to the door.
“These are for you.” I turned to Johnny, holding the bag out for him. “Thank you for tonight. Joy had a lovely time.”
“You’re welcome.” He took the bag from me, our fingers gently grazing, and I gasped as a shiver shot up my arm, running down the length of my spine. My eyes remained locked with his, and I couldn’t help but notice how his breathing had deepened in the same way mine had.
I pulled my hand back, not having a clue what that was—not wanting to know what it was.
He turned without saying a word and left. Not a smile. Not even bidding me good night. Just a quick kiss to Joy as he left.
My eyes filled with tears. Had I offended him or pissed him off?
I dragged my tired feet to the staircase, giving Joy a quick kiss to her cheek and ignoring the curious glance she gave me before making my way up the stairs.
Stripping off, I quickly slipped my strap top and shorts on, brushed my teeth and turned off the light, climbing into bed.
Sleep did not come easy. The whole night, I tossed and turned, my mind constantly replaying mine and Johnny’s interaction. I was so confused by his reaction. I wasn’t stupid; I knew he had been with dozens of girls, but I really didn’t understand why I was the one to receive the brush off.
Waking up the next morning, his face was the first thing to flash through my mind before I
had even opened my eyes. Rolling over, I grabbed my sketchpad off the floor and began drawing. Within moments, I had a pair of oval globes staring up at me from the page.
Climbing out of bed, I walked to the window, opening the curtains.
I froze on the spot.
Johnny was standing outside his house, staring up at my window. He was dressed in a pair of jogging bottoms, trainers and a white t-shirt.
I gave him a small wave, one that probably made me look like the most awkward person on this planet. After a few minutes, he gave me a small wave in return before turning around and walking into his house.
Feeling resigned, I allowed my eyes to trail up the wall of his house and then chuckled, surprised, when I saw Logan standing at his window—clothed, thankfully—waving at me like a loon. I laughed louder, waving back before going to get ready for my day out of the house. It looked like it was going to be a beautiful Saturday and I didn’t plan to waste any of it.
Sitting down on one of the benches in the town square, watching all the people pass through, I scanned the crowds for my next subject. I always found it difficult to pick someone to draw; I needed someone kind of still, not all the shoppers hustling and bustling around. I blew out a breath when I realized this was really the wrong spot, and walking a few blocks, my eyes zeroed in on the coffee shop ahead on the corner. Ducking inside, I ordered myself a hot chocolate with marshmallows, cream and chocolate sprinkles. Anyone who didn’t like this drink had to be crazy.
Taking my seat, I leaned back, warming my hands on my mug of chocolaty goodness.
Taking my pencil out, I focused on the elderly couple across from me and grinned. I loved the way the gentleman took the marshmallows from his saucer and added them to hers. It was clear they had been together a long time, and they were a perfect example of what we all wanted: someone to love us for eternity.
While I was absorbed in the detail on my sketch, I heard the chair across from me scrape, and frowning, I looked up, surprised when I saw it was Johnny taking a seat opposite me. I wanted to groan in frustration: he was kind of blocking my view of my couple and having him sitting so close to me was really going to mess with my nervous system.
“What are you doing here?” I asked, silently cringing at how rude I must have sounded.
“It’s a free country.” He looked so relaxed that I wanted to scream.
Was it all me? Had I fallen into a one-sided crush? Watching how cocky and self-assured he was, I was starting to believe that.
Peeking around him, I tried catching more detail and was determined to block out any distractions.
“You’re avoiding me,” he stated, cocking an eyebrow at me with a stupid grin on his face.
“I’m busy, as you can see.” Putting pencil to paper again, I began shading in the lines of the gentleman's jacket, circling around the buttons.
Minutes later, Johnny sighed and left the table. I focused on my paper and not on the fact that he had left. Why should I care? It wasn’t like we were friends or anything.
He returned with a fresh cup of hot chocolate for me, exactly as I’d originally ordered it. Only the new one had more chocolate sprinkles.
“Thank you.” I smiled, taking a sip, licking the sprinkles from the cream.
He grinned, taking a copy of The Great Gatsby out of his bag, surprising me with his choice in literature.
I was putting the final touches on my sketch. Looking over, I smiled at the look on Johnny’s face. He was resting his head on his left hand, his eyes trailing over the words. He had the cutest pout.
I chuckled, signing the bottom of the sketch before ripping it out.
“You finished?” he asked, closing his book.
I nodded, giving the sketch a last look. Before I could scrunch it up to discard it in the bin, Johnny quickly took it out of my hand and made his way across to the couple.
I was shocked and completely mortified that strangers would see my work—see that I had been staring at them for the last hour and a half, taking down all their intricate details.
Johnny turned, pointed at me and held the sketch to the couple. The lady accepted it and gasped when she saw the sketch.
Just kill me now.
The couple gave me a small wave and I returned it but then directed my glare at Johnny.
He had no right to hand my sketch over to them. If I wanted someone to see my work, I’d give it to them myself. I fumed silently before standing and leaving the coffee house behind, Johnny included.
Unfortunately, he quickly caught up to me, grabbing my arm and spinning me around to face him. “Where are you speeding off to in a hurry?” He looked genuinely confused by my actions.
“You gave my sketch away to that couple!” I snapped, pointing behind him at the coffee house.
“That couple?” he asked incredulously, looking even more confused. “That couple,” he replied, holding his hands up to do the speech mark symbol sarcastically, “were so touched by your drawing that the poor lady can’t stop smiling.”
“I don’t care!” I snapped, sounding like a spoiled princess. “You had no right! I never wanted them to see it.” I spun around, determined to get as far away from Johnny as I could, but I only managed to get a few steps away before his voice stopped me.
“It’s their wedding anniversary. They said it was the perfect present to mark the occasion.”
I froze on the spot, his words erasing the anger I had been feeling, replacing it with warmth.
He walked closer until I could feel him right behind me. “They said it meant the world to them.”
I turned to him, smiling unconsciously. I couldn’t help it. Knowing that the couple loved and appreciated what I had captured of them on paper erased all my negative feelings of self-doubt.
“There it is.” He slowly reached up, cupping my face in his large palms. “There’s my smile.”
What the hell was he doing?
I pulled my head back. I didn’t belong here, in this position with Johnny: an art geek and a football jock. I mentally rolled my eyes.
“Johnny…” I whispered, flicking my eyes down and back up, hoping he’d get the message.
He frowned, looking down at me, and then, shaking his head, he slowly let me go, stepping back from me.
“Go out with me,” he whispered.
“What?” I laughed loudly. He must be crazy! Why the hell would I want to go out with someone who’s only going to break me when he gets bored?
“Come on.” He smirked down at me. “I’m not that horrible.” His smile slowly faded. “Unless…” He cocked an eyebrow at me, waiting for me to fill in the blanks.
“Unless what?” I took the pencil out of his waiting hand, genuinely confused at whatever he was thinking, and tucking it inside my notepad, I turned my head to look at him.
“Unless it’s Logan you’d really prefer standing in front of you?”
I’m sure he meant it as a statement, but it came out sounding like a question. This was the first time I had ever heard Johnny sound so doubtful. It made him seem more normal.
“I don’t think of Logan like that.” I shook my head.
“You sure?”
He didn’t believe me. Obviously. He didn’t know me. He just saw the outside shell. It was the middle he had to know to understand me, and that was my problem.
“I’m not right for you, Johnny.” I gave him a tight smile, wanting to be out of this conversation. “I think we could work. I just don’t think…” I sighed, getting flustered. “I don’t think you’re ready for the craziness that is me.” I chuckled, trying to make light of the situation.
“I’ll be the judge of that.” He stepped toward me, his hands immediately latching onto my hips, pressing his tall frame against my short one. “Give me one chance. One. That’s all I’m asking.”
My eyes remained locked on his, watching for any sign. I liked to think I was a good judge of character and would be able to spot a lie if I saw one, but I was completely clueless wh
en it came to Johnny.
“One chance.” His fingers tensed against my jean-clad hips and desperation laced his tone.
“Can I think about it?”
He frowned, not happy with my reply.
“I’m taking a lot on here, Johnny.” I stared at his chest, needing to be honest with him. “All the rumors going on about you.” I shook my head, already feeling the icy chill of self-doubt grip me.
“No,” he said coldly.
My eyes shot up to his, surprised at his words. No? Seriously? He was already trying to dictate shit to me?
“No thinking.” He shook his head before a sexy smirk took over his face. “Let me take you out.”
“Like a date?” I’m not going to lie. I was horrified at the thought. I was not a ‘date’ kind of person. Getting all dressed up and fancy for someone just wasn’t my thing.
He shook his head, making me relax a little. “Come out with me tonight. Dressed as you are, if you want. Nothing fancy.”
I narrowed my eyes at him, thinking over his suggestion. Dressed as I am? I suppose I could spare him an evening.
“One condition.” I held up my index finger, giggling at the look of doubt on his face. “If it doesn’t feel right, then that’s it. Deal?” I held my pinkie finger up at him, giggling when he narrowed his eyes in a mock glare.
He lifted his hand, entwining his pinkie finger with mine. “Deal.”
He leaned down, making me gasp.
Was he going to kiss me?
Dipping his head to the side, he pressed a soft kiss to my cheek. “I’ll pick you up at 7pm.” He grinned, slipping his hands into his trouser pockets.
I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face, watching his ass as he walked away. Literally. He had the cutest butt. He turned his head, giving me a sexy wink, catching me staring after him.
I groaned in response, turning around and walking away.
I was so screwed.
It was 18:55 and I was pacing the tile floor in Joy's kitchen, sipping on my pint of milk. Drinking milk just always seemed to chill me out. Even when I was little.
