Unwritten (A Beachwood Bay Love Story Book 11)

by Melody Grace

  My heart aches, even as I try to tell myself I’m lucky. I made it through high school and now there’s a whole world out there for me. Blake is in the past; the hurt will heal, replaced with a dozen new men, a hundred new experiences.

  I can do anything I want, go anywhere I choose…

  Like Paris.

  24.

  Now

  Three months.

  The words beat in my head in a terrible rhythm. I’m frozen in place, but Blake doesn’t even notice: he’s halfway across the makeshift parking lot towards the movie set before he turns, confused.

  “What’s up?”

  “I…” I try to pull it together. I’m not a teenager anymore, this isn’t like before. We’re together now, and every relationship has a few bumps in the road. The important thing is to be an adult and talk about what’s going on.

  “You’re leaving, for three months,” I begin. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner? I mean, I called you last night. And this morning too, when I saw the photos…” I trail off, remembering the other big thing I wanted to talk about. But those tabloid shots pale in comparison to this new bombshell.

  A guilty look skitters across Blake’s handsome face. “Look, I’m sorry about that.” He glances away. “I know I said I’d try to make it back, but it was late, and I figured it was better to crash, and fly in fresh today.”

  “But you didn’t crash.” My voice comes out quiet but even. “You went out partying with Selena and Bethany.”

  Blake tenses up. “What are you saying? You think I hooked up with one of them?”

  “No.” I feel a chill. “No, I don’t. But you didn’t call me either. And I’m guessing I never even crossed your mind when you took a job that would take you to the other side of the world.”

  Blake glances around at the crew milling nearby to set things up. He grabs my arm, and steers me around the corner, to the back of the cottage. It’s quiet here, just boxes of equipment and cables in the shadow of the trees.

  “What’s this about?” He frowns. “Why are you suddenly making a big deal about this. You’re the one who came up with the idea of going to the city in the first place. You told me to go get the job!”

  “I wanted you to go to the audition, of course I did.” I swallow back the lump in my throat. I hate that he’s defensive, that he’s arguing with me, but I force myself to stand my ground. “What’s going to happen with us, if you’re away so long?”

  Blake laughs. “Is that what you’re worried about? Babe, it’ll be fine. We’ll talk on the phone, and you can come visit. It will go by in a flash. Selena was saying her boyfriend will come visit too—”

  “Selena?” I repeat. “You mean, she’ll be in the movie too?”

  “She just got cast, isn’t that great?” Blake says, and he can’t hide his excitement at the thought. “She’s such a great actress, we talked most of the night about our characters, and how Jacques works… I can’t wait, I’m going to learn so much from her.”

  He seems to realize what he’s saying, and quickly puts an arm around me. “Not like that,” he adds quickly. “It’s just professional, a colleague, like with Lila.”

  I don’t move.

  He sighs. “C’mon, Zoey, you’re not jealous, are you? Don’t you trust me, is that what this is about?”

  I take a deep breath. Inside, I want to scream and yell and cry, but staring at him, I can’t believe he doesn’t realize. That he can’t understand what he’s doing here.

  He doesn’t see it at all.

  It feels like the walls are caving in on me, but there’s a thousand miles between us. Have I been a fool all along? Why is Blake acting like I’m insane for even caring like this?

  “You didn’t even call,” I say again, trying to keep it together. “You get this big offer that would split us apart for months, and you didn’t think about running it past me.”

  Blake’s face changes into an expression I can’t read. “I’m not going to ask you permission,” he says.

  “Not permission!” I protest. “Just a single moment of thought about what it means for us. Anything that makes me think you care about this relationship!”

  My head is pounding, but I try to stay calm. “Just put yourself in my place. How would you feel if I turned around and said I got a job in Australia for three months and leave tomorrow?”

  Blake shrugs. “I’d be happy for you, if it was what you wanted. We just started dating,” he adds gently. “We’re not married. It’s not like we can’t stand the time apart.”

  He means it well, but his words strike clear through my chest.

  “We don’t have to be married for this to mean something.” I fight the tears. “I love you, that’s supposed to mean everything. And you said you loved me too!”

  “I do.” Blake looks lost. “But I don’t get where this is coming from. This is the job, Zoey,” he says, his face creasing with frustration. “I have to travel whenever, I can’t let anything drag me—”

  He stops, but I already know what he was about to say.

  “You can’t let anything drag you down,” I finish, chilled to the core.

  All the old memories come flooding back. Me adoring him in secret all those years—and him seeing me as nothing but a gawky hanger-on. I thought everything had changed now, but maybe we’re still right back where we started, with me desperately loving him more than he can ever understand.

  I stare at him in disbelief. At the man I would do anything for, this beautiful man I thought felt the same way about me. “Is that what you really think of me?” I whisper, shivering.

  “No!” Blake takes my hand. “Listen to me, Zoey,” he implores me, his eyes full of their usual charm. “This isn’t a big deal! We’ll be long-distance, you’ll come visit, it will be over before you know it.”

  “Until the next movie,” I say slowly, looking down at my hand in his. The strong, capable hands that have brought me so much pleasure and comfort. Laying in his arms just a few nights ago, I felt so connected, felt like there was nothing that could come between us again.

  I didn’t realize there was never anything getting in our way before.

  Just him.

  “You said, this is the job, right?” I pull my hand away. “You taking off all over the world on the next job, and the next. And what am I supposed to do?” I ask, thinking of my mother, and how she molded her life around what my father wanted. “Just follow along after you, wait around on set for you to be finished filming?”

  “No,” Blake argues, but I can see his mind racing; he hasn’t thought this through. “You can get a job on the movie too, like you did here,” he suggests. “That way, we wouldn’t have to be apart. You can work production, or be my assistant—”

  “Your assistant?” My voice rises. “Is that what you think of me? That I want to fetch you coffee and mail for the rest of my life?”

  “No. Zoey. You’re twisting everything all wrong.” Blake sighs. He shifts on the spot, like he can’t wait to get away from this discussion. “Listen, I have to get to work. We’ll talk about this later, when you’ve had a chance to calm down.”

  “I am calm.”

  “You know what I mean.” Blake gives me a brief kiss on the cheek, and one of his trademark charming grins. “Everything’s going to be OK, I promise.”

  But his smiles don’t reassure me, not now. They feel like the surface brush-off he gives someone when he’s run out of patience; a pat on the head to change the subject away from what’s comfortable, what’s real.

  Blake turns to leave, but I can’t bring myself to follow.

  “You say nothing has to change,” I call after him, my voice trembling with doubt and nerves. “But what happens when your agent calls and says it’s better if you take Selena to a premiere?”

  Blake turns back, his arms crossed.

  “What about when they all say it’s great promotion for the movie for you both to be seen in public together?” I continue, my chest tight. “So why not catch a
drink after filming, or go to dinner, just the two of you. And then maybe someone says, it’s not a good idea to have your girlfriend around the whole time, not when they’re trying to make you a big heartthrob in the press. Girlfriends aren’t sexy, you see,” I add, bitter. “Especially not ordinary girls like me.”

  “Is that what you think of me?” Blake shoots back. “That I’d just dump you and move on?”

  I slowly shake my head. “Not like that. You’re too kind to ever be cruel on purpose, but…I know you, Blake. You want to be famous, more than anything in the world. You want to be on that red carpet, with the cameras flashing, and everyone looking at you. You want the world to love you,” I add sadly. “And if you had to choose, if it really came down to it, we both know what you’d choose.”

  There’s silence.

  Just a second. A heartbeat in time. But I see it in his eyes: he hesitates.

  He waits too long.

  And my heart breaks, clean in two.

  “Zoey—” Blake reaches for me, but I pull away. Tears are already flooding my eyes, and God, it hurts so much, I don’t think I can take a single step, but I have to. I have to go, before I give him everything he wants—and lose myself in the process.

  I’ve spent so long wanting to be with him, I never realized he’s been holding himself back all this time. I thought we were past that: that we were finally in this together, but just like always, he’s the one striding ahead, and I’m left following behind.

  Taking what he chooses to give me. Loving him, when he doesn’t know what it means to give himself to someone in return.

  “Good luck with the movie,” I manage to tell him, turning my face away so I don’t have to see that handsome face, imploring me.

  That face that has been the center of my dreams for so long. Until now.

  “I hope you get everything you want.”

  I walk away, feeling the pain take me over.The pain of loving someone and them not loving you in return.

  Not enough.

  And Blake? He doesn’t come after me. He doesn’t take my hand, and promise that he loves me, that we can make it through anything.

  He doesn’t fight for me at all.

  He lets me go. And that part hurts almost more than anything.

  Three months later…

  25.

  Blake

  I should never have let her go.

  I still see it playing out in my head like it was yesterday: Zoey’s face full of rejection, her eyes filling with tears. She turned and walked away from me, but instead of going after her—pulling her into my arms and promising that nothing would ever come between us—I let her go.

  I stood, frozen in place, confusion whirling in my mind. I let my darkest fears get the best of me, and dammit, there’s not a minute that goes by I don’t hate myself for it.

  I hurt her. I lost her.

  She’s gone.

  “Mr. Callahan?” There’s a tap on the door to my trailer, dragging me back from the past. It’s one of the assistants, holding a clipboard. “You’re needed in wardrobe in five.”

  “Thanks,” I reply, trying like hell to snap out of this mood. I grab my script and exit out into the madness of the set. Hundreds of people, massive sound-stages and sets everywhere—we’re just about finished filming here in Sydney, Australia, and it’s an epic production like nothing else. Judgement Day was a big deal, but it was mainly me stuck in the studio fighting fake aliens on the green screen. This time, we’ve gone out to locations out in the desert, filmed massive crowd scenes in the city—the scale of the movie is incredible, and it’s a thrill and an honor just to be a part of the controlled chaos. I should be having the time of my life.

  But still, I find myself craving Zoey.

  She would have loved this. Every day, I see something cool and my first instinct is to tell her. Sometimes, I even get as far as picking up my phone. Then I remember how badly I screwed things up, and I feel sick to my stomach with guilt and shame.

  She wouldn’t want to talk to you anyway, my fears taunt me. Not after the way you treated her. She’s moved on. She’s left you behind.

  “Hey, B.” a pair of slim arms wrap around my waist from behind. But they’re not the arms I want holding me. Instead, it’s my co-star, Selena, fresh from makeup and looking like a magazine cover. “You ready to crush this last scene?”

  I step away from her, putting a safe distance between us. “Ready as I’ll ever be.”

  Selena quirks her lips in a knowing smile. “One of these days, you’re going to get over that girl,” she teases me good-naturedly. “Everyone said, ‘Oh, you’re so lucky to be filming with Blake, he knows how to party, so charming,’ but you’ve been pining for months now.” She sighs dramatically. “What happened to all that charm?”

  “Sorry to disappoint you, darlin’,” I drawl. “How’s this?” I flash her a grin.

  “Too little, too late.” Selena winks. “See you for a drink tonight? You can cry on my shoulder again,” she adds. “Or someplace softer.”

  I chuckle. “Thanks, but I’m good. See you on set.”

  Selena waltzes away—half the tech staff stopping to drool after her as she goes. Her teasing is a game between us now, but I know the flirting isn’t all for show. If I wanted, I could have been going back to her hotel room every night instead of moping all alone, but every time I even consider it, Zoey’s face comes into my mind.

  She’s the only one I want.

  I’m in the makeup chair getting slathered with powder that won’t shine under the lights when my cellphone rings. Tegan.

  “What’s up, mate?” she says, in a bad Australian accent.

  I groan. “You’ve got one week left to torture me with that voice,” I warn her.

  “I know, that’s why I’m going to make the most of it,” she laughs. “How’s tricks?”

  “Same old,” I reply. “We’re finishing up here, then I have to fly back on Thursday for the big premiere.”

  After all that drama, Judgement Day is finally getting released. The reviews are still lukewarm, but the fans are plenty excited, and the studio is hoping it won’t be a bust. Either way, I’ll be proud to walk that red carpet after all the work the cast and crew put in.

  “You better get us tickets,” Tegan warns. “I’m not traveling all the way from Beachwood Bay just to stand at the barricades screaming your name.”

  “Front row, I promise.” I pause as long as I can before asking. “How’s Zoey?”

  Tegan sighs. “You could just call her yourself and find out, you know.”

  “Please,” I ask, hating that I have to beg for scraps about her life now. “You know I can’t.”

  “I know you won’t,” Tegan corrects me before taking pity. “She’s fine. Good. She just moved into a new apartment in Hollywood, she sent photos, it looks cute.”

  “How’s the script?” I ask.

  “The studio has notes, but she’s happy with how it’s going. Dash is excited too.”

  “Good,” I say, with a hollow longing in my chest. “I’m glad she’s happy.”

  After filming in Beachwood Bay finished, I came straight out here to prep for my next role, but Zoey moved to LA like she planned. She’s writing Dash’s next movie and taking classes in screenwriting too. Not that she’s told me any of this: I have to find out from Tegan, every chance I get.

  “You realize this is stupid, right?” My baby sister sounds exasperated. “I spent years telling her what you were up to, and now you’ve just reversed the roles. When will you put us all out of our misery and tell her you love her and want to be with her?”

  I wish it was so easy. “I’ll see you when I get in,” I tell Tegan instead. “Say hi to Ryland for me.”

  “Love you.”

  I hang up, my fingers scrolling through my contact list until they find her name. The very last entry, but the only one who matters.

  Zoey.

  My sister doesn’t understand what tore us apart, but after I refu
sed to talk about it for long enough, she finally dropped the subject. I don’t know what Zoey’s told her, probably that I’m a selfish ass who put my career in front of everything, including our relationship.

  The truth is, she couldn’t be more wrong.

  Zoey was upset that I took this job without talking it through. She thinks I didn’t even consider her, or us, before agreeing to leave her for months at a time.

  The truth is, I nearly turned the job down so I wouldn’t have to be away from her.

  When Jacques told me the role meant leaving for Australia right away, I told him I’d have to think about it. The part of a lifetime, a respected director—and I wasn’t sure if I should turn it down. My agent called that night, screaming and raging down the phone.

  “What the hell are you playing at?” Josh raged. “You go out of your way to get a face-to-face with this guy, and you’re ready to throw it all away! What the hell’s wrong with you?”

  And that’s when I realized just how deep I’d fallen with Zoey. How much she mattered to me, how far I’d go—just what I’d sacrifice—to be with her. I was ready to walk away from this incredible opportunity with barely a second thought just so I wouldn’t have to leave her.

  And it was scary as hell.

  “I’ve already told him you’ll take the job,” Josh cut me off. “You were lucky to get one chance in Hollywood, let alone two. Trust me, if you screw this up, there won’t be a third.”

  He slammed his phone down, leaving me alone in the hotel lobby with nothing but my darkest fears.

  Because if I was willing to give up everything for this girl, then how much would I lose when it all came crumbling down?

  The same fears and dark pain that kept Zoey at arm’s length all this time came roaring back: loud and instant, taunting me with everything she’d helped me forget.

  Remember how it feels to lose someone you love. Remember the emptiness, the grief. Remember feeling solid ground ripped away, like nothing would ever be the same.