Welcome to Temptation/Bet Me

by Jennifer Crusie

  “No,” Sophie said to both of them. In a way it was a relief. She’d been getting the sneaking suspicion that the dog’s name was Dog, and that would have been much worse.

  “So,” Leo said. “Clea here?”

  “Of course I’m here, Leo, darling,” Clea said, coming in so on cue Sophie would have bet money she’d been listening in the kitchen. Amy trailed behind her as Clea embraced Leo gracefully if not warmly and said, “It really is good to see you.” Clea ignored Davy completely, and he watched her with no expression on his usually mobile face.

  Leo patted her arm and said morosely, “Nice to see you, too, kid.”

  Then Amy caught sight of Davy and shrieked, and Sophie pushed them both into the kitchen so Clea and Leo could talk.

  “I can’t believe it,” Amy said and hugged him as Sophie got Leo’s Dove Bar from the freezer. “I didn’t think we’d see you until Thanksgiving.”

  “I didn’t, either, until Leo told me you were making porn,” Davy said, and Sophie dropped Leo’s ice cream.

  “What?” Amy said, as Lassie grabbed the bar.

  “Getting the news that you two were making a skin flick brought me right home. Have you lost your minds?”

  “Skin flick.” Sophie sat down. “We’re not making a skin flick.”

  “Clea wants Leo to distribute it,” Davy said.

  “Right.”

  “Leo only does porn,” Davy said. “That’s why they call him the Porn King.”

  “ ‘Porn King’?” Amy said.

  “He doesn’t look like a Porn King,” Sophie said. “Are you sure?”

  “Harvard MBA,” Davy said. “They don’t mention him much in the alumnae mag. So what’s going on?”

  “Good question,” Sophie said, and went into the living room to find out.

  “It’s not real porn,” Clea said when they’d cornered her in the living room. “You’ve been filming it, Amy, you know that.”

  “Okay, well, fine,” Leo said. “So what the hell am I doing here?”

  “It’s a new kind of porn.” Clea sat down next to Leo on the couch and smiled at him. She looked beautiful. He looked doubtful. “It’s called vanilla porn and it’s very hot right now, it’s just flying off the video-store shelves, and I think you should make it, Leo, I really do. We’ve got a great story, about me coming home to meet my old high-school lover and being disillusioned, and then meeting his son, who seduces me and sets me free of my past, and I drive off into the sunset with him, getting everything I’ve ever wanted. It’s a real woman’s fantasy, Leo, you’ll make a mint—”

  “I think I should make Coming Cleaner,” Leo said.

  “What the hell is Coming Cleaner?” Amy said.

  “I don’t want to make Coming Cleaner,” Clea said. “I want to make Return to Temptation. I swear to God, Leo, this is good stuff. You could make a lot of money here. Don’t blow it by being old-fashioned.”

  An old-fashioned Porn King, Sophie thought. An old-fashioned Ivy League Porn King. Her world was getting weirder by the minute.

  “What is Coming Cleaner?” Amy said again, and Davy said, “Clea’s second film. Set in a car wash. Lots of soap.”

  “Oh, bleah,” Sophie said. “Clea, how could you?”

  “How do you think I met your brother?” Clea said. “Working for Disney?”

  Amy rounded on Davy. “You were in a porn film?”

  “No,” Davy said. “I worked for Leo who made porn films. Forget about me. Concentrate. You’re making porn.”

  “No,” Sophie said.

  “Yes,” Clea said. “Porn about a woman achieving all her dreams. Classy porn.”

  “Sort of like ‘military intelligence,’ ” Davy said.

  “Shut up, Davy,” Clea said without looking at him. “This is completely different. It’s not gross stuff, it’s straight-to-video erotica for women.”

  “No,” Sophie said.

  Clea exhaled. “Sophie, what’s your favorite scene in The Big Easy?”

  “ ‘Your luck’s about to change, cher,’ ” Sophie said automatically.

  “And what’s the only thing you don’t like about it?”

  “It’s too—” She broke off when she saw where Clea was going.

  “Short,” Amy finished for her. “I got it.” She cheered up some. “I like it.”

  “It’ll be romantic, not crude,” Clea said. “I was thinking maybe we should change the title, maybe to something like Cherished, because it’s about emotion, not sex.”

  “You want me to do a movie called Cherished?” Leo looked at Davy. “Get the cab back.”

  “The cab’s halfway to Cincinnati by now,” Davy said. “Look at my sister’s tape.”

  Leo sighed and moved to the monitor, and Sophie went to get him a Dove Bar, feeling sorry for him even if he was a porn king.

  “It’s going to need some work,” he said, when the last screen was dark again. “But Clea was right, you’ve got a good start there. It needs a lot more sex, of course.”

  Amy looked at Sophie and said, “We have somebody working on that.”

  “No, we don’t,” Sophie said.

  “And the score will add a lot,” Leo went on, and Amy winced.

  “I don’t know how—” she began, and Leo waved her away.

  “We can do that in L.A.,” he said. “No problem. Along with the titles and credits. You just shoot the footage and let us handle the details.”

  “The sound is a detail?” Sophie said, but Amy shushed her.

  “But mostly you need more sex,” Leo said. “A lot more nudity.”

  “Leo,” Clea said. “Don’t forget what I told you. This is women’s porn—”

  “Oh, no,” Sophie said, and Amy kicked her ankle.

  “Don’t get in Clea’s way,” she whispered to Sophie. “This is my chance.”

  “—so it’s not going to be vile like the other stuff you do,” Clea finished.

  Leo sighed. “I need skin.”

  Sophie winced, and Amy whispered, “He’s a real producer, Sophie, please.”

  “Jesus,” Davy said. “The Dempsey morals at work again.”

  Leo smiled at Clea, which didn’t look natural at all on him. “Now about Coming Cleaner—”

  “Later, Leo,” Clea said. “We’re making Cherished now.”

  “Cherished,” Leo said, and looked more depressed than ever.

  Rachel was out in the front yard watering what little grass there was when Leo came down the porch steps. He didn’t look like a big Hollywood producer. He was only a couple of inches taller than she was, and even though he was good-looking in a Hollywood kind of way, he looked tired and depressed. So when he said, “Are you the gofer around here?” she squeezed the water out of the front of her T-shirt and said, “That’s me,” without trying to be anything special.

  “I need a place to stay,” he said.

  “Sure.” She dropped the hose and started for the car. “Get in the car. I’ll take you to Larry’s Motel out by the Tavern.”

  “Larry’s Motel.”

  She turned back and saw his look of pain. “It’s all we’ve got.” Rachel opened the car door for him. “Just be grateful you’ve got me for a driver because we don’t have a taxi, either. You could be, like, walking.”

  “No, I couldn’t,” Leo said, and got in.

  “So you know Clea from L.A.?” Rachel said when they were on the road.

  “Yes.” Leo peered out the window

  “Cool. I want to be the next Clea.”

  “No you don’t,” Leo said.

  Rachel flipped the neck of her damp T-shirt back and forth to get some breeze going there, too. “Why not? She’s rich and successful and she got out. Sounds good to me.”

  Leo didn’t answer, and she looked over in time to catch him staring at where her T-shirt was stuck to her chest.

  He caught her eye and said, “Sorry,” and she shrugged and said, “Hey, I was the one flapping the wet T-shirt.”

  “I still s
houldn’t be leering. Sexual harassment.” Leo sounded mournful. “Life’s no fun anymore.”

  “Tell you what,” Rachel said. “You can sexually harass me if you want. I’m having a slow summer anyway. Want to look down my shirt?”

  Leo sighed. “So this is what it’s come to, teeny-boppers doing me favors. Middle age is hell.”

  “I’m not a teeny-bopper,” Rachel said. “I’m twenty.”

  “Oh, shit.” Leo put his head in his hands. “Contributing to the delinquency of a minor.”

  “I’m not a minor,” Rachel said. “I’m twenty. You can sleep with me and not go to jail. Of course, you have to, like, take me to L.A. first. I’ve had all the lousy sex in Temptation I can stand.”

  “But lousy sex in L.A. is okay?” Leo shook his head. “Lousy sex is lousy anyplace, kid.” He stopped and considered. “I don’t think I’ve ever had lousy sex.”

  “That’s ’cause you’re a guy.” Rachel turned into the motel driveway.

  Leo stared at the motel with distaste as she parked in front of the lobby door. “So who runs this, Norman Bates?”

  “It’s okay, the showers don’t work anyway. Think of it as an adventure.”

  “I don’t want an adventure,” Leo said. “Adventures are for the young. Comfort is for the old.”

  “What time do you want me to pick you up, old guy?” Rachel said.

  “Soon,” Leo said as he got out. “Very, very soon.”

  “I’ll pick you up at five, then,” Rachel said. “Dinnertime.”

  Leo poked his head through the window. “Five is dinnertime here?”

  Rachel sighed. “When is it dinner in L.A.?”

  “No, no,” Leo said. “Five is fine. I missed lunch anyway.” His face changed suddenly from vaguely worried to downright apprehensive. “You do have restaurants here, right?”

  “Sure,” Rachel said. “There’s a restaurant in town and a diner, too. The food’s pretty good. It’s not fancy but it’s good.”

  “Okay.”

  He still looked doubtful, so she smiled at him and said, “And if you promise to buy, I’ll come have dinner with you in a blouse with the top button undone and you can harass me until dessert.”

  “Oh, yeah.” Leo nodded as he straightened away from the car. “That’ll go over great at Granny’s Home-Cooked Restaurant. Forget it, Lolita. I’ll eat alone.”

  For some reason, that hurt. “Okay.”

  She put the car in gear just as he put his head down next to the window again.

  “Hey,” he said. “I was kidding. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings.”

  His eyes were kind, and she was so surprised she let the car die. “You didn’t. Really. I just wanted to eat dinner with you. And hear about Hollywood.”

  He nodded. “Okay. Pick me up at five with all your buttons buttoned.”

  “You don’t have to—”

  “At five, kid. I’ll tell you what a big shot I am. You’re the only one who’ll believe it anyway.”

  Rachel nodded. “Okay. Thanks.”

  Leo waved her off, and she watched as he headed for the motel door, shaking his head as he checked out the turquoise panels near the entrance. He wasn’t really upset, she realized as she pulled back onto the road. It was just his way. Like Eeyore. She should tell him that at dinner. “You’re the Eeyore of L.A.,” she’d tell him, and he’d have to laugh. Getting a laugh out of him wouldn’t be easy, but she’d do it before dessert. He should take her back to L.A. with him just for the laughs—

  She slowed the car. There was an idea. She could be his personal assistant and make him laugh and help him relax and drive him places and take care of him. Of course, he’d say no at first, but he’d said no to dinner and she’d talked him into that.

  It really was a great idea. She could take care of him and he could take care of her.

  And she could finally get out of Temptation.

  When Phin pulled up to the porch that evening, he saw Sophie sitting on the swing with a good-looking guy whose curly dark hair and dark brown eyes reminded him of someone. The therapist, he thought, and it bothered him a lot more than it should have. After all, he had nothing permanent with Sophie. He just needed to touch her on a semiregular basis or he couldn’t finish his sentences. It was just lust. It would go in time.

  He was going to have to get rid of the therapist.

  Sophie waved to him, and the dog barked from under the swing as he got out of the car.

  “Come meet my brother, Davy,” Sophie said, glowing with happiness.

  “Your brother.” Phin regrouped, sizing Davy up again as he patted the shaggy panting dog who had come out to greet him. Now that he was closer, Davy looked like Sophie’s twin, same ivory skin and generous mouth, but a lot more jaw and more height. And his eyes were colder than Sophie’s ever could be. “Good to meet you, Davy.” Phin went up on the porch and held out his hand.

  “This is Phin Tucker, the mayor,” Sophie said, and Davy freed his arm from around her and stood to shake Phin’s hand with a firm, dry grasp.

  “Pleased to meet you,” Davy said. “What’s the mayor doing so far out of town?”

  Phin raised his eyebrows. “Just being neighborly.”

  Davy looked at Sophie and then back at Phin. “That’s real nice of you.”

  “I try,” Phin said.

  “Whatever you guys are doing, knock it off,” Sophie said.

  “You never learn, do you?” Davy said to her before he turned back and smiled at Phin. “So, can I get you a drink, Phil?”

  “Phin,” Sophie said. “Stop it.”

  “I’m fine, thanks,” Phin said.

  “I bet you are,” Davy said. “Could I see you for a minute, Sophie?”

  “No,” Sophie said. “Go harass Amy. She’s dating a cop. And remember, you brought Clea home and we never said a word.”

  “Good point.” Davy opened the screen door to go inside. “I’ll be right back, Phil. Don’t do anything stupid.”

  “What the fuck was that all about?” Phin said, and Sophie pulled him down on the swing beside her, the dog at her feet again.

  “We moved around a lot when we were kids,” Sophie said.

  “And he’s still hostile about it today?” Phin said.

  “We didn’t have a lot of money and the rich kids weren’t our pals,” Sophie said.

  “Sorry,” Phin said. “I still don’t see how I figure in here.”

  “I told you, we took a lot of grief from rich kids.”

  “I’m not rich,” Phin said, as Davy came back out on the porch with a beer.

  “You’re not poor,” Davy said. “Have a beer.” He handed it to Phin who took it as the easiest move at the moment, and then Davy sat down on the porch rail and folded his arms and stared at Phin.

  Sophie looked from him to Phin and back again. “Okay, stop it.”

  “I’m just saying,” Davy said, “that I’ve paid less for entire suits than he spent on that shirt.”

  “Well, it’s been swell,” Phin said, standing up.

  “Armani, right?” Davy said.

  “Right.” Phin handed the beer back to him. “Great meeting you.”

  “Davy.”

  “Okay.” Davy got up and turned back to the door with the beer. “I’ll go, Harvard. You stay. Sophie makes her own choices.” He grinned at Sophie who ignored the pun and glared back. “Right. You try to do the brotherly thing and nobody appreciates it.”

  When he was gone, Phin said, “Interesting guy, your brother.”

  “You should talk,” Sophie said. “Your mother gives me frostbite every time I see her.”

  “What ‘every time’?” Phin sat down beside her again. “You’ve only met her once.” Then he grew very still. “Haven’t you?”

  “Anyway, Davy’s just protective,” Sophie said. “He thinks all guys are only after one thing.”

  “He’s right,” Phin said. “So my mother dropped by, did she?”

  “Social call,” Sophie
said. “So you only want me for sex?”

  “No, I’m nuts about your golf game. What did my mother do to you?”

  “Maybe I’ll go inside.” Sophie started to get up, but Phin caught her arm and pulled her back down on the swing.

  “Okay, sorry about the golf crack. Give me the right answer and I’ll say it. I’m too tired to come up with it on my own.”

  “ ‘No, Sophie, it’s not the sex,’ ” Sophie said. “ ‘It’s your wit, your beauty, your warmth, your intelligence, the cute way your nose crinkles when you laugh, your sunny, funny face.’ ”

  “Your nose doesn’t crinkle,” Phin said. “I’m good for the rest of it.”

  “But mostly it’s the sex, right?” Sophie said.

  “And you want me for what?” Phin said. “The third day I knew you, you lay down for me on the dock. The next night I came back with a plan to get you down again, but you said, ‘Fuck me,’ before I could make my move. The next day, I’m thinking about heading out to see you and you deliver to the bookstore before I can find my car keys. I won’t even mention what you did with the showerhead yesterday because I’m grateful. Now, what is it you want me for?”

  Sophie sighed. “The sex.”

  “So we’re on the same page here.”

  “I doubt it,” Sophie said. “You’re wearing Armani.”

  “I really like your brother,” Phin said. “Is he leaving soon?”

  “Don’t pick on my brother. Your mother thinks I’m after your money. I told her it was the cheap thrill.”

  “Oh, fuck,” Phin said. “I’m sorry.”

  “Yeah, well, I’ll forgive you your mother if you forgive me my brother. They’re just looking out for us.”

  “Christ, it’s not as if we’re sleeping with lepers,” Phin said.

  “Well, in a way we are,” Sophie said. “We’re both with people who are Not Our Kind. Davy looks at you and sees every guy who pushed us around when we were kids. Your mom looks at me and sees every gold-digger who ever went after you because of your name and your shirts. How are they to know we’re just using each other for the physical thrill and have no interest or affection beyond that?” She folded her arms and stared out across the dusty yard.

  Phin sighed and sat back. “ ‘Go out and see Sophie,’ I told myself. ‘You’ve had a rough day, she always makes you feel great, treat yourself. Go out and see the woman.’ ”