Welcome to Temptation/Bet Me

by Jennifer Crusie

“I don’t want a normal life,” Rachel said. “If I wanted a normal life, I’d have done what my mother wanted and married Phin.”

  “Phin?” Leo scowled at her. “Phin’s not right for you.”

  “I know that—” Rachel began, and then stopped as she realized somebody was standing by their table.

  “You the guy that made that movie?” the man said, looking red in the face.

  “No,” Leo said. “Why?”

  “Because whoever did that is a fucking pervert, that’s why,” the guy said.

  “What?” Rachel said.

  “Kids are watching that filth,” the man said, and glared at Leo. “Are you sure you’re not the guy?”

  “I’m positive,” Leo said mildly.

  “Well, you should just be glad you took your daughter out for dinner tonight instead of watching that trash with her—”

  “We have to go,” Rachel said, getting up.

  “My daughter?” Leo said, and Rachel leaned over and said, “Now, Leo.”

  Leo watched as the man stalked away. “She’s not my daughter, you putz.”

  “Leo.”

  “Showed the wrong movie, did they?” Leo said, and Rachel said, “I think they saw the old Cherished instead of the clean cut that Amy made, and I need to talk to Sophie now.”

  Leo dropped his napkin on the table. “Okay. But I’d still like to hear—”

  “Now,” Rachel said, and dragged him from the diner.

  “I bagged the tape and sent it to Cincinnati,” Wes said two hours later when he and Phin were finally alone in the bookstore. “Maybe we’ll get some prints.”

  Phin shook his head, more tired than he could ever have imagined. It took a lot out of a mayor to have to deal with that many screaming citizens.

  “Phin,” Wes said. “Pay attention. We have to find out who took the tape. He violated the FCC up, down, and sideways, and we’ll get him.”

  “I can’t even think,” Phin said. “I’ve been explaining the unexplainable all night. Where the hell did that tape come from?”

  “From the farm,” Wes said. “According to Amy, it was Leo’s cut of a tape they’d made. I gather they made several versions.”

  “So whoever took that tape knew which one would do the most damage.” Phin felt anger rise, cool and clean. “Somebody at the farm—”

  “Not necessarily,” Wes said. “Amy said when Rachel saw what Leo had done to the movie, she took the tape and wrote ‘Smut, Smut, Smut’ on it in bright red marker. Anybody who wanted to sabotage the movie would have picked that one up.”

  “So somebody went out there and sorted through the tapes—”

  “No,” Wes said. “Somebody went out there and took all the tapes. As soon as the movie started, Amy went running to look. They’re all gone, even the documentary she was working on. Somebody just backed up a car while we were all at the hospital this morning and took every one of them.”

  “Who?” Phin said, but even as he said it, he knew.

  “Stephen’s got this movie tied to your tail,” Wes said. “This is a big break for him, just six weeks before the election. Six days would have been better, but six weeks isn’t bad. And he’s the only one I can see getting anything out of this.”

  Phin thought about Sophie. She’d gotten something out of it—out of making that damn movie at least. He heard his own stupid words coming out of Rob’s mouth and felt like a fool.

  Wes said, “You want to come to Stephen’s with me?”

  Phin thought of Stephen’s smug, red face, and the pain cleared and his rage focused. “Yes.”

  “Thought so,” Wes said.

  Stephen answered the door, trying to look innocent and only looking smugger as a result. “I saw the premiere on television,” he said to Wes. “That was a shocking thing. I certainly hope—”

  “Forget it, Stephen,” Phin said, as he pushed past him into the living room where Rachel sat on the couch in patent misery. “You knew all about it.”

  Across the room, Virginia looked up from the phone she was clutching and lowered her voice. Spreading the good word as usual.

  Meanwhile Stephen was waxing indignant.

  “What do you mean, I knew about it? You think if I’d known that kind of disgusting pornography was going to be broadcast to the people of this town—”

  “Forget it, Stephen,” Wes said. “The only voters here are the ones who know what really happened.”

  Rachel jerked her head up. “What did happen? I couldn’t find Sophie to find out. That wasn’t our film—”

  “Young lady, you had nothing to do with that film,” Virginia said from the phone.

  “I worked on that film,” Rachel said. “I’m proud of that film, but that film wasn’t my film.”

  Virginia said, “I have to go,” into the phone and hung up. “You had nothing to do with that disgusting movie, so you stop even pretending you did.”

  “I’m not pretending, I worked hard on that,” Rachel said, and Virginia pointed her finger at her and said, “Enough. You’ve caused enough trouble acting up and from now on, you’re going to be the daughter I raised. You’re going to get married and settle down and be a good woman.” Virginia’s eyes slid to Phin.

  “She’s not marrying me,” Phin said.

  “She certainly isn’t,” Stephen said. “You’re responsible for that porn going out to all of Temptation, corrupting—”

  “Stephen,” Wes said. “I told you. You can knock off the speeches. Everybody here knows you switched that tape—”

  “Daddy?” Rachel said.

  “That’s the most ridiculous thing I ever heard of—” Stephen began.

  “—and we’re sending it to Cincinnati for a forensics check. The fingerprints will nail you if nothing else does.”

  “We’ll just have to wait and see, then, won’t we?” Stephen said, smug as ever, and Phin said, “Fuck. You wiped it before you played it, didn’t you?”

  “Phin!” Virginia said, and when Stephen said, “Well, that’s the kind of language I’d have expected from somebody who’d consort with the whores who made that trash,” Phin grabbed Stephen’s throat and shoved him against the wall.

  “About Sophie,” Phin said, rage making his voice shake. “You damned near killed her, you bastard, and I never came after you for that—”

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Stephen choked, wide-eyed.

  “You shoved her in the river and almost drowned her,” Phin said, gripping him tighter, and Rachel said, “Daddy!” at the same time that Wes said, “Let him go, Phin.”

  “You hurt her.” Phin gripped his neck harder. “From now on, you come after me, you son of a bitch, not her, and not the people of this town—you do not show porn to kids to bring me down, do you understand? This is between us.”

  Stephen didn’t say anything, but he turned blue, and from behind him, Phin heard Wes say calmly, “He’s sick and smaller than you are and older than you are and not worth it. Let go of him, or I’ll break your arm.”

  Phin looked into Stephen’s sly, stupid, blue face and thought about all the crap Stephen had gotten away with because nobody had fought him—because I didn’t fight him, because I played it safe, because I was too damn lazy—

  Wes jerked Phin’s left arm up hard behind him, and the pain knifed into his shoulder, and he let go of Stephen and his own pent-up breath at the same time.

  “Thank you,” Wes said, releasing his arm as Stephen slid down the wall, an interesting shade of purple.

  “Ouch,” Phin said, and eased his shoulder back.

  “It would be bad if you killed him,” Wes said. “Understandable, but bad.” He looked at Stephen on the floor, trying to fill his lungs. “That ‘whore’ bit was a dumb move, Stephen. Don’t do that again.”

  Phin rubbed his arm and watched Stephen get his breath back. “Well, at least the short-term pleasure was great.” He leaned over and said softly to Stephen, “If you ever try to hurt Sophie again, I’ll let Wes bre
ak every bone in my body before I let you go.”

  “I didn’t hurt that woman,” Stephen rasped. “I don’t attack women. Have you lost your mind? Arrest him for assault, Wes. He’s crazy. He almost killed me.”

  “I didn’t see any assault,” Wes said. “I did see two men in heated conversation but—”

  “Well, my family saw.” Stephen climbed to his feet. “Rachel—” He stopped when he realized Rachel was gone. “You better get a lawyer,” he told Phin. “You’re in big trouble.”

  Virginia stared at them from across the room, horrified. “You’re a terrible man,” she told Phin. “I’ll never let you marry my daughter now.”

  “Well, at least something’s going my way.” Phin turned back to Stephen. “You shoved Sophie in the river, you stole that tape, and you played pornography on a public television station. Get your own lawyer, you son of a bitch.”

  “You can’t prove any of that,” Stephen said. “I wouldn’t shove a woman anywhere.” He looked genuinely insulted that Phin had suggested it, and Phin frowned at him. Then Stephen’s face grew smug again. “And I certainly wouldn’t show pornography to the good people of—”

  “Here we go again,” Wes said. “Stephen, we need the other tapes back. I don’t think the women will prosecute if you give them their tapes back, but—”

  “Nobody’s going to prosecute me for anything,” Stephen said. “You have no proof. And the last time I looked, you needed proof to arrest somebody, so—”

  “Stephen,” Phin said quietly. “Sophie came over one night when you were watching them film on the dock, and somebody pushed her into the river. Right here, at the end of your property.” Stephen shut up and Phin watched him closely. “The river was high and she almost drowned. If she wasn’t such a fighter, she’d have died.”

  “I don’t know anything about that,” Stephen said cautiously. “But I do know that the people you consorted with produced a pornographic movie in clear violation of the Temptation film ordinance—”

  Phin tuned him out, and Wes said, “Okay, Stephen, you practice your speech, and we’ll talk to you tomorrow.”

  “I want him arrested,” Stephen said, and Wes said, “No, you don’t, because if I arrest him, he’ll get to explain why he went for you, and then people might get to thinking you’d played porn to their children just to get elected.”

  Stephen scowled. “That’s ridiculous.”

  “No,” Wes said. “That’s the truth, and it’s the lousiest thing I know about you. How many people had their kids in front of that TV set to watch Temptation in the movies? You set it all up. Anything to get elected. You and your family values.”

  “I didn’t do it,” Stephen said stubbornly, but his eyes slid away, and Phin gave up.

  When they were back in the car, Wes said, “If you ever attack another citizen in front of me, I will break your fucking arm and then move on to your head.”

  “Fair enough,” Phin said. “I can’t think of anybody else I want to attack, anyway, so it shouldn’t be a problem.”

  “Because you pretty much threw away whatever leverage I had,” Wes went on. “He can file assault charges, you know, and they’ll stick. So I’m not exactly in a position to lean on him for this tape thing.”

  “I’m sorry,” Phin said. “But we did get something out of that.”

  “Yeah,” Wes said. “He didn’t push Sophie.”

  “So who did?” Phin thought about Sophie and the movie, and shoved it aside as too painful to think about. He went back to everything Sophie had told them about the river. Somebody had shoved her really hard, she’d said. “Who else would do that?”

  “You got me,” Wes said, and started the car. “I’ll put it on my list of things to do along with, ‘Find out who shot Zane and tried to electrocute Sophie,’ and ‘Try to nail Stephen for pandering porn.’ Jesus, I’m lousy at this job.”

  “No, you’re not,” Phin said. “You’re just up against it right now.”

  Wes pulled back out onto the road and headed for the station. “I hate to point this out, but so are you.”

  “Yeah, I think that pretty well wraps it up for me as mayor.” Phin settled back, rubbed his shoulder, and thought about how good it had felt to grab Stephen. “Thanks for waiting so long to pull me off.”

  “My pleasure. You know, this wasn’t Sophie’s fault, that was Leo’s cut. She must be upset about all this. She worked pretty hard making that movie.”

  Phin heard his own dialogue coming at him from the screen again. “You have no idea how hard she worked.”

  “Am I missing something here?”

  “Yes,” Phin said.

  “Am I going to continue missing it?”

  “Yes.”

  Wes sighed. “Fine, be that way.” He pulled up in front of the bookstore. “Get out. I got work to do.”

  “What work? It’s after eleven. Go home.”

  “I’m not the only one here missing stuff,” Wes said. “You go mope. I have things to do.”

  “Wait a minute,” Phin said, but Wes pointed to the door, so he got out and let him drive away.

  Fine. Whatever. He wasn’t moping, he’d just had his entire future shot out from under him, and there was nobody to vent his annoyance on. Wes was gone, his mother was somewhere committing hari-kari, the Garveys were no doubt celebrating the coming mayoral victory, and Ed was probably trying to get a copy of Hot Fleshy Thighs for his porn collection even as Phin stood there.

  And then there was Sophie.

  “Fuck it,” he said, and walked around the back of the bookstore to his car. Wes was right. He had things to do. Like demand an explanation. Like ask her what the hell she thought she was doing. Like make her feel guilty for all the hell she was leaving behind her.

  If she thought she was leaving town without a reckoning, she didn’t know him at all.

  Rachel found Leo in his motel room, packing.

  “Thank God,” he said. “My ride to the airport and out of here. That guy in the restaurant was only the beginning. Did you hear those people in the lobby? I don’t think I’ve ever seen that many people angry over soft porn before. Imagine what they’d do if they knew the kind of stuff I do.”

  “They do,” Rachel said. “You missed that part. My dad switched tapes and the town watched Hot Fleshy Thighs.”

  “Oh,” Leo said. “Well. Even so, it was just a movie. They overreacted.”

  “Forget them,” Rachel said. “They’re history. Think about the future.”

  Leo eyed her cautiously. “You seem fairly calm about this.”

  Rachel leaned against the wall and shrugged. “It’ll be okay. Everybody’s mad right now, which is good for them because not much happens in Temptation so this’ll give them some exercise. They’re not bad people and they won’t go after Sophie or anybody, and even if somebody really lost it and tried, Phin and Wes would take care of it.”

  “I doubt Phin’s going to take care of it,” Leo said. “From the way those people downstairs are talking, he just lost the next election.”

  Rachel shrugged. “He’ll get over it. He loves Sophie, and he’ll keep her no matter what. Phin’s determined like that. Love’ll do that to a person.” She met Leo’s eyes and he flinched.

  “Right.” Leo shut his suitcase. “Well, I’m ready. You want I should call a taxi so you don’t have to—”

  “No,” she said, and pulled her dress over her head.

  Leo took a step back. “Rachel, stop it.”

  “I know you think you’re leaving me.” Rachel lifted her chin so it wouldn’t quiver because that would ruin what she was pretty sure was the magnificent sight of her in Victoria’s Secret red lace. “But you’re not. I’m the best thing that ever happened to you, Leo. And I mean professionally, too. I stopped and talked to Sophie on my way here, and we worked it all out. You can teach me to run that new vanilla-porn section.” She took a deep breath. “I think you should call it Rachel Films and use a cat for the logo that’s like the lion on
the Leo stuff. And I can do a lot of the promotion that you can’t do, because I’m a woman. Sophie thinks it’s a great idea.”

  “Rachel—”

  “And I’m smart, Leo,” Rachel said. “And I learn fast. Sophie says so. I’m going to do a lot for you, you’ll see.”

  Leo looked at the ceiling. “Could we talk about this with you dressed?”

  “No,” Rachel said. “Because I’m going to sleep with you, too. I know you don’t want to do this, but even just that one kiss with you was better than having sex with anybody else I’ve had sex with, and I’m coming after the rest of it now. And then we’re going to go to L.A. and live happily ever after.” She narrowed her eyes at him. “If you think I’m settling for anything less, you don’t know me.”

  Leo closed his eyes.

  “And you know me, Leo.” She walked toward him while he kept his eyes closed. “Although, not nearly as well as you’re going to.”

  Sophie was sitting on the porch swing waiting when Phin pulled up at the farm. Whatever he did, however much he yelled, she’d just take it. She deserved it.

  When he came up on the porch and sat down beside her, he stopped the swing, and she curled her feet under her and sat there, suspended in air, not sure of where she was with him, or even where she wanted to be.

  “Did Dillie see it?” she asked him, and he said, “No. Jamie Barclay’s mother has a very fast hand with the remote.”

  “That was not our movie. That was Leo’s movie. He took ours and cut the porn stuff into it.”

  “But you made a porn flick, didn’t you?” Phin said, staring out across the yard.

  Sophie thought about explaining vanilla porn and decided it was hopeless. “Yes. Not like that one, ours wasn’t hard-core, and it was good, but yes.”

  “And you used the stuff I said in bed,” Phin said.

  “Yes,” Sophie said.

  “I wondered why you were so easy,” he said. “Research.”

  “No,” she said. “I was so easy because you were so good.”

  “Don’t even try it,” he said.

  “You forget,” she said. “We didn’t start out like we are now. It was a game, remember? Julie Ann and the bear on the dock? You thought I was a one-night stand.” She swallowed. “And I thought you were a safe chance to break some rules. I didn’t think about writing that first scene until after you’d gone that night. And I didn’t think you’d ever know. I didn’t know you’d ever be important.”