Welcome to Temptation/Bet Me

by Jennifer Crusie

  “Uh huh,” Min said. I’m going to kill myself now.

  “Are you okay?”

  Min turned to look at him and blurted, “Did you love her?”

  Cal slowed the car and Min thought, Oh, just hell, when will I learn not to ask what I don’t want to know?

  He pulled over and shut off the ignition and turned to her. “Yes.”

  “Oh.” Min nodded. “Okay. From now on, when I ask you something, just refuse to answer, okay?”

  “All right,” he said.

  “Do you still love her?” Min said.

  “Yes,” Cal said.

  “You don’t listen” Min said.

  “Min, it’s not like that. I haven’t been in love with her for a long time. I think we both saw where it was going and neither of us wanted that nightmare, and Reynolds starting paying attention to her again, and I dated other women, and over time, it went away.”

  “Not really,” Min said. “There’s something nice between you. More than in-law affection.”

  Cal nodded. “Yes, she’s special. But it’s not . . . romantic. That was over a long time ago. Years and years ago.”

  “Uh huh,” Min said, still coping.

  Cal stared out the window. “Cynthie,” he began, and Min thought, Oh, kill me now. “She never caught that. She’s the psychologist, we were together for nine months, and she never saw that I’d felt like that about Bink. How did you?”

  “I’m very acute,” Min lied.

  Cal slid a little way down in his seat and stared out the windshield, and Min watched the ease in his broad body and wanted him more than she thought was possible. “You know, Cyn spent months trying to figure out why I was a serial dater.”

  “A what?” Min said, trying to find her way back from lust and misery.

  “That’s what she called it. The hit and run thing you keep busting me on. She decided it was because I was trying to make up for my mother, that I was trying to get love from all these women, and then when they gave it to me, I’d leave them to try to earn it from somebody else.”

  “That Cynthie, a theory for every occasion,” Min said, feeling bitter and wanting somebody to take it out on. Cynthie seemed good.

  “I wasn’t looking for my mother,” Cal said. “I was looking for Bink.” He turned and Min smiled at him so he wouldn’t see she was about to open the car door and throw up in the gutter. “I wanted somebody I could talk to, somebody I didn’t have to charm and please, somebody it just felt good to be with.” He shook his head. “I just didn’t realize it until now.”

  “Well, good luck on that,” Min said brightly.

  “Pay attention, Minnie,” he said. “I was dead in the water the minute you sat down on my picnic table.”

  Suddenly Min realized there was no air anywhere. That would account for the dizziness.

  “It took me a while to figure it out,” he said. “I wasn’t used to anybody like you. Because there isn’t anybody else like you.”

  Keep breathing, Min thought.

  “And then you ripped up at me in the street in front of Emilio’s, and I thought, Well, the hell with you. For about five minutes. Then I just wanted you back. You’re the only woman I’ve ever wanted back. And I’ve been trying to figure out a way to get you back ever since.”

  Min sucked in some air before she passed out.

  “I love you,” Cal said. “I know it’s insane, we’ve only known each other a few weeks, we need more time, I get all of that, but I love you and it’s not going to change.”

  Min took another deep breath. You needed air to talk.

  “For God’s sake, Min, say something,” Cal said.

  “I love you,” Min said on a breath. “I’ve loved you forever.”

  “That’ll do it,” Cal said and reached for her.

  Chapter Thirteen

  Min wrapped her arms around his neck, so grateful to be back in his warmth that she dragged him over the stick shift to get him closer to her.

  “Ouch,” Cal said.

  “Sorry,” Min said, trying to pull back.

  “Not a problem,” Cal said, holding on. “God I’ve missed you.” He kissed her and the glittering heat flared low just like always, except that this time she wasn’t fighting it and it went everywhere. She clutched at him, amazed that he was kissing her again, breaking the kiss to kiss him again, over and over until he stopped to breathe.

  “Listen,” she said. “About my heart. Don’t break it.”

  “Right. Me, too.” Cal pulled her back, and she fell into him and lost herself, drunk on the knowledge that she could have him, would have him, that everything was going to be wonderful. She felt his hand slide under her shirt and touch her breast, and she shuddered against him and bit his lip, and his hand tightened on her, and then her cell phone rang.

  He pulled back, breathing hard, his eyes dark for her, and she held on to him.

  “Ignore it,” she said, gasping, “it’s Diana, she calls twelve times a day, come back here and love me,” and he shook his head.

  “Answer it,” he said, between breaths. “We have to stop. We’re parked on a public road.”

  “I don’t care,” she said, reaching for him again.

  He put the car in gear. “Your place or mine, Minnie, not in a car.”

  “Whatever’s closer,” Min said, and answered the phone to stop the ringing as Cal pulled out into traffic.

  “Min,” Diana said, her voice tight. “Oh, Min, we’re in trouble”

  “Okay,” Min said, trying not to sound dizzy with lust. “What?”

  “The rehearsal dinner,” Di said. “Greg was going to get the caterers because he could get us this deal.”

  “Oh.” Min looked at Cal, who was much too far away. “Greg was going to get the caterers for the rehearsal dinner. In four hours.”

  “I hate Greg,” Cal said.

  Diana sounded as breathless as Min felt. “Mom’s going to crucify Greg and he’s already a nervous wreck. This is my perfect wedding.”

  “Okay,” Min said. “Let me think.” Cal, naked, in my bed, in me. No, not that thought.

  “What are we going to do? There’s nothing,” Di said.

  “I’m trying to think,” Min said and met Cal’s eyes for a long moment, until the car drifted and hit the edge of the pavement and Cal yanked it back.

  “Where is this dinner?” he said, keeping his eyes on the road.

  “At some bed and breakfast near the chapel,” Min said. “Down by the river. Why?”

  “How many people?” Cal said.

  “Fourteen, I think,” Min said and spoke into the phone. “Dinner for fourteen, right?”

  “Yes,” Diana said.

  “We can do it,” Cal said. “Tell her it’s okay.”

  “We can?” Min said. “We who?”

  “Tony and Roger and I worked in a restaurant, remember? We’ll get supplies from Emilio’s, you make chicken marsala, and they’ll plate it and serve it. Your parents don’t know Tony and Roger so they’ll buy them as servers. It’ll work.”

  “I’m making chicken marsala?” Min said, and then thought, What the hell. “Okay, I’m making chicken marsala.” She spoke into the phone. “We’ve got it covered. Relax. Your job is to give Mom a story if Cal and I are late and to make sure the back door to that kitchen is open. We’ll do everything else.”

  “Oh, thank God,” Di said. “I didn’t interrupt anything, did I?”

  “Yes,” Min said. “But it’s okay. We have a couple of hours before we have to cook. You can do a lot in a couple of—”

  “No, you don’t,” Diana said. “Are you crazy? You’ve got the last fitting right now. We thought you were on your way. We’re here now. We’re waiting for you. You can’t miss the fitting. Mom will kill you. I need you. You can’t—”

  “Right. Now,” Min said. “I forgot.”

  “Don’t tell me,” Cal said as he slowed the car.

  “Fitting,” she said to him. “I have a fitting right now. I have
to—”

  “Not a problem,” Cal said, taking a deep breath. “I’ll drop you off at the fitting, I’ll get the food for the dinner, we’ll cook, we’ll go to the dinner, and then—”

  “I have to spend the night with my sister,” Min said, closing her eyes. “I hate it, but it’s the night before her wedding, I promised—”

  “Fine,” Cal said. “Not a problem.”

  “Maybe not for you,” Min said, and thought, Loud voice, loud voice. She took a deep breath. “I want you now. I want—”

  “Oh, Christ,” Cal said. “I’m trying to be—”

  “Min?” Diana said from the other end of the phone.

  “I’ll be there,” Min told her and hung up.

  “Where’s the fitting?” Cal said, his voice resigned.

  “Bridal department at Finocharo’s,” Min said bitterly. “Why couldn’t Greg have been in charge of the dresses?”

  Cal drove to the store, kissed her several times, and then drove off to get the dinner supplies, and it wasn’t until he was gone that she realized that he still hadn’t mentioned the bet.

  We didn’t have time, she thought. There’s a good reason, I didn’t give him a chance, and even if there’s not a good reason, I don’t care, nothing is going to screw this up for me.

  Then she went to face her mother and that damn corset.

  “You’re late again,” her mother said as she came through the door.

  “Hi, Mom,” Min said, prepared to savage her if she said anything nasty.

  “Eat this,” Nanette said and handed her an apple.

  “Why?” Min said.

  “Because God knows what those caterers that Greg got will make. He is completely unreliable. And you know he didn’t tell them not to use butter. So fill up on that.”

  “On this.” Min looked at the apple, shook her head, and put it down to go jam herself into the corset. Half an hour later, the fitter left Min’s dressing room, and Min stared at herself in the mirror, all heat gone, and thought, I’d kill myself, but this is not the last thing I want to see before I go.

  She was once again in the blue skirt that zipped up only when she sucked in all the air in the room, the lavender chiffon blouse that still pulled across the bust, and the new blue corset that only laced shut when Min gave up breathing and the fitter used the force of ten. And she wasn’t going to be taking any deep breaths now that the damn thing was on: one good heave and she’d pop out the top of it.

  Why would Cal want to sleep with somebody who looks like this?

  Min came out of the dressing room, and Nanette said, “It still doesn’t fit,” in a tone that did not bode well for her fat daughter.

  “As God is my witness, I have followed that diet,” Min said to her, feeling depressed. “Mostly.”

  “You’ve had a year,” her mother said bitterly. “And now you’re going to ruin Diana’s beautiful wedding.”

  “Here’s an idea.” Min tried to tug the corset up. “Why don’t I sprain an ankle and Karen can be the maid of honor? That way the entire wedding party will be beautiful and thin, and—”

  “No,” Diana said from the doorway, and they both turned to her.

  “Not your loud voice, dear,” Nanette said.

  Di pointed at Min. “You’re my sister and you’re going to be my maid of honor and you’re going to look beautiful because that lavender is just your color and it’s all going to be perfect.” She had the same maniacal look in her eye that Nanette did, so Min shut up.

  “Well, there’s nothing we can do about it now.” Nanette stood up, disgusted. “You were late, and we have a million things to do. The dinner’s in three hours, for heaven’s sake. You’ll have to try on the rehearsal dinner dress without us.”

  “Rehearsal dinner dress?” Min said. “Why—”

  “I found something for you that will be slimming.” Nanette shook her head at her eldest daughter, the disappointment. “Make sure the hem is in the right place. If it cuts you at the knees, your legs will look like fence posts.”

  “Thank you, Mother,” Min said, figuring this was a fight she didn’t care about. She just felt tired.

  Her mother stopped and met her eyes. “I know you think I’m awful. But I know how the world works. And it’s not kind to fat people, Min. It’s especially not kind to fat women. I want to see you happy and safe, married to a good man, and it’s not going to happen if you don’t lose that weight.”

  “She’s not fat,” Diana said from behind her. “She is NOT FAT.”

  “Not your loud voice,” Nanette said, and Diana glared at her.

  “Screw my loud voice, stop telling her she’s fat.” Diana stopped, looking as surprised as Nanette and Min that she’d said it. She went on, in a calmer voice. “Leave her alone.”

  Nanette shook her head and leaned forward to grip Min by the upper arms. “I just want you to be happy,” she said, and then stopped and squeezed Min’s arms again. “Have you been lifting weights the way I told you to? Because if your arms aren’t toned, those chiffon sleeves—”

  “We have to go now,” Diana said, pushing her mother toward the door. “We’ll be late as it is.” She turned back at the door and said, “You look great,” before she left, too.

  “Yeah,” Min said and turned back to look at herself in the mirror. The chiffon blouse wasn’t too bad, but her breasts were just obnoxious. “Oh, Lord,” she said, and tried to sit down but the skirt was too tight.

  “Wait a minute, wait a minute,” the fitter said and scurried around behind her to unzip the skirt before it split.

  “I hate this,” Min said as she stepped out of the skirt.

  “The color is wonderful on you,” the fitter said, and Min looked back into the mirror and thought, She’s right. Diana has a perfect eye for that kind of thing. “You’re lucky you didn’t get the green one,” the fitter went on as she unlaced the corset and Min began to breathe again. “The colors are going to look lovely going down the aisle, green and blue and your blue-violet, but the little blonde who has to wear the green is so unhappy about it.”

  Wet, Min thought. Well, that’s what you get for dating the groom.

  “Now, I’ll bring you the dinner dress, and we’ll get you all fixed up.”

  “Yeah,” Min said. She took the blouse off and stood looking at herself in the mirror. Full breasts, full hips, full thighs . . . She tried to remember what Cal had said but her mother’s voice was louder.

  “Here we go,” the fitter said, coming back. “We’ll just slip this over your head . . .”

  Min looked at herself in the mirror as the dresser zipped her up. Her mother had chosen black, of course, a sheath dress with a vertical white insert down the front that made her look vaguely like a penguin. V-shaped inserts at the waist were supposed to give the illusion of a waistline but instead made her look like a penguin whose bow tie was riding low.

  “It’s very slimming,” the fitter said.

  “Right,” Min said, and picked up her mother’s apple. “Slimming.”

  From behind her Cal said, “God, that’s an ugly dress,” and she turned to see him leaning in the doorway, holding a bottle of wine and two glasses.

  Min’s heart gave a leap. “Oh, good, it’s you.”

  “What were you thinking, Minnie?” Cal said, coming into the room, his eyes on hers. “Take that thing off. It’s an insult to your body.”

  “Only one of many today,” Min said. “My mother picked this out. She has excellent taste.”

  “I don’t think so.” Cal put everything on the low table by the couch. “I could pick out a better dress than that.”

  “You’re on,” Min said. “I’ll give you five minutes while I eat this apple, and then we’re hemming this thing so my legs don’t look like fence posts. Did you bring a corkscrew? I could use the wine, too.”

  Cal took the apple out of her hand. “Apples and wine? I don’t think so.” He tossed the apple in the small gold wastebasket beside the table and pulled a corkscrew o
ut of his pocket. “Your legs are great. Take that dress off. There must be a better one someplace.”

  “Downstairs,” the fitter said eagerly, looking at Cal as if he were the best thing she’d ever seen.

  Min looked at Cal and remembered he was gorgeous.

  “Hi.” Cal smiled at the fitter. “I’m Cal.”

  “Hi,” she said back, smiling wider. “I’m Janet.”

  Oh, for crying out loud, Min thought.

  “Janet, you look like you have exceptional taste,” Cal said to her. “I know you didn’t pick that thing out.”

  “No, no,” Janet said, disavowing all knowledge.

  “I bet you could find her the perfect dress,” Cal said, looking right into her eyes, sincerity made flesh. “Maybe something bright red.”

  “Blue,” Janet said. “She looks wonderful in blue or violet.”

  “So she does. Go find a great blue dress and we’ll celebrate with a drink.”

  Janet hesitated. “Mrs. Dobbs was very clear . . .”

  “I’ll take care of Mrs. Dobbs,” Cal said. “You take care of the dress.”

  When Janet was gone, Cal screwed the corkscrew into the cork and yanked it, and the cork popped out without a fight. Then he poured her a glass. “Here. You’re tense.”

  “My mother was here,” Min said, taking the glass and wishing he was touching her. Except she was fat.

  “That explains why Janet looked like a deer caught in headlights.” Cal looked over his shoulder. “She’s not here and you haven’t kissed me in an hour, Minerva. Come here.”

  Min stepped down off the platform and went to him, loving the way his arms went around her, trying not to think about how fat she must feel under his hands, and then he kissed her hard, and she sighed against him, grateful to have him even if she didn’t know why he wanted her.

  The bet.

  Nope, never, that was not it, she believed in him.

  “What’s wrong?” he said.

  Min shook her head. “Rough fitting.”

  “Let me guess,” he said. “Your mother. Ignore her. Think about me.”

  She smiled in spite of herself, and he kissed her again, his mouth gentle on hers, and she felt the tension in her body begin to ease.