Guardian's Redemption

by Marie Harte

  Tears filled her eyes. She hastily blinked them back, horrified to feel her mental and emotional shields all but gone. Arim rose to look down at her, and his sad smile shook her to the quick.

  “One terrible event shook our worlds. You were ripped free from everything you held dear, and you took my heart with you when you left.” Arim wiped at a tear she hadn’t managed to blink away. “I have to know the truth, Blue. Tell me why. If you didn’t do it, why did you attack me? Why try to kill me when all I wanted was to help you?”

  Normally Lexa would answer his accusations with something glib before lobbing a ball of blue flame his way. But their shared passion brought back how much she’d loved him, and how much she might love him still, had she the courage to look deep within herself. Unfortunately, the weakness in her soul wouldn’t tolerate any more frailty. Lexa forced herself to speak without delving too far into the reasons behind her willingness to finally answer.

  “I didn’t kill my family.” She paused, staring up at the face that haunted her dreams, the dreams she thought she’d said good-bye to long ago. “I loved Muri, Esel and Sercha as much as I loved you, Arim. With everything I was.” It hurt to remember, to see the happiest days of her life and know it was all gone. Arim slowly withdrew from her body—their physical joining, another link to the happiness that was theirs—now lost.

  “As I loved you.”

  “Then how could you think I was capable of such evil?” Anger stirred, that bone-deep resentment he had planted in her hardened heart. “I would never have done anything to harm my family. I was hurt, traumatised and in shock. I tried to revive them. I called upon every ounce of magic I had inside me, but nothing worked. They were dead, and I couldn’t help them.”

  Arim caught the angry tears gathering at the corners of her eyes and leaned close. He kissed her with tenderness, yet the expression when he leaned up from her was impossible to read. “In the hundreds of years since, I’ve wanted to know. I think maybe I did know, but I still couldn’t equate the girl I’d loved to the Dark Lord bent on killing me in that house filled with death.”

  The question in his gaze forced her to respond. “I couldn’t think past the smell of blood. My entire existence was thrown, and the Dark energy surrounding their deaths sparked a reaction I’d never had to face.”

  Arim’s gaze narrowed. “I hadn’t considered that.”

  “You have no idea what it was like. I’d lived for years happy, loved and cherished by a mother and father who weren’t rightfully mine. I always feared it might be taken away from me some day. Oh, I heard the things others said when they didn’t know I was around. Churchmen and staunch Light Bringers who hated the idea of a Dark Lord changeling in their midst. But Muri always told me I belonged.

  “And then they were dead, and you looked at me as if I’d done it.” She stared at him, feeling his betrayal as keenly as if it had happened yesterday.

  “That’s not what happened.”

  “Then tell me why you looked at me like that. Tell me why you attacked me, why you turned away from everything we’d had,” she demanded, still needing to make sense of the one event in her life that forced her into a direction she’d never imagined she might have to take. “Because on that day I woke feeling loved and wanted. Before the night fell, I was taken to Dark Lord lands. To Malern, by Ini, a woman so vile, so beyond Dark, it was as if I’d died myself.”

  Arim closed his eyes, his jaw tight. When he looked down at her again, she saw a kaleidoscope of colour in his gaze, his emotion bleeding into the physical. Heat shimmered off his body, not harming, but comforting hers, which confused her even as she fought to hold onto the fury she rightfully carried.

  “I was worried about you when you didn’t show up for class. You loved spell casting, and I knew you’d never wilfully miss it. I waited, but when you didn’t show at University, I knew something was wrong. When I found you, you were covered in blood.”

  “From trying to revive my family.”

  “Your energy was erratic, strong and so incredibly Dark…” Arim paused, his stare piercing as he looked into her eyes. “I believed in you, Lexa. I loved you. I only wanted to ease your hurt. Then you slapped at me with a Darkness so painful I was stunned. Hate and violence swirled around you like a mantle, an aura of destruction that looked so much like what had settled over Muri, Esel and Sercha.”

  “That’s not true.”

  “That’s exactly what happened. I didn’t believe you’d done anything, not until you struck out at me. I was stunned, hurt and confused. But if I hadn’t defended myself, you might have killed me…”

  “Killed you too, don’t you mean?” She tried to jerk out from under him, enraged he still wouldn’t accept the truth. “You and ‘Sin Garu deserve each other. You only see what you want to see. Pain and violence breed so much the same. You damned arrogant—”

  Arim covered her mouth with a hand. “This time you’re not going to make me lose my temper. We shared something special once, and whether you like it or not, we still do. I’ve come to understand that my memories of that terrible day aren’t perhaps as clear as I’ve thought.”

  She stopped thrashing beneath his hand. What was he saying?

  “Some time ago we put aside our differences to rid our world of ‘Sin Garu. You let me look inside your mind, and I saw something that confused me.”

  She glared at him, and he reluctantly removed his hand. “I knew it! I knew you’d looked into my memories. I only let you into my mind to convince you we needed to stop ‘Sin Garu together.”

  “Yes, well, that glimpse into your mind was unintentional. I wasn’t fully convinced at what I saw, that scene you described as you found your family that day.” His voice lowered, and she believed the sincerity in his brooding stare. “I’ve been wondering what really occurred and why since the day it happened. But it’s been easier to concentrate on other things rather than relive the pain of your supposed betrayal. No,” he said quickly, forestalling her denial. “I know you didn’t do it.”

  She opened her mouth and closed it as quickly. “What?”

  “I’ve been thinking about it, really thinking about you and the circumstances surrounding that day ever since you stood between me and death at ‘Sin Garu’s hands.” He ran a finger over her lips, causing her to involuntarily shudder. “You saved me, Lexa. You put yourself at risk to protect me. All the things you’ve done to help Tanselm, to protect my nephews and their affai… Hell, you even sacrificed a large part of your strength to heal my sister, and without telling anyone about it. I couldn’t have been more blind about you, could I?” Arim frowned in disgust. “My own prejudices shielded me from the truth. I don’t know how you haven’t killed me, when so many times you could have. Why didn’t you let ‘Sin Garu take me out? The Light Bringers, the only people you’d ever known, banished you from your friends and life in Tanselm. The man who supposedly loved you rejected you.”

  Arim kissed her, his sorrow unfathomably deep. Her Darkness radiated with his pain. “I’m so sorry, Lexa. You’ll never know how sorry I am for what happened.”

  “You…you’re saying you believe me now?” Her heart raced, and she told herself not to hope, not to believe in the impossible. His belief or disbelief should mean nothing. Yet it means everything. Desperate not to cling to even a shred of expectation, she tried to rile him. “Wait, this is some ploy to get me to confide in you, right? I’m just supposed to believe that after some hot sex you now believe me?” If only… “Well, I don’t know a hell of a lot about ‘Sin Garu’s plans, so this great big ball of ‘I believe you now’ is wasted. Sorry, Arim, but once again you’ve misjudged me.”

  “No, Blue. This has nothing to do with ‘Sin Garu, unless he’s the one who killed your family. This is about you and me. Period.”

  Lexa swallowed, uneasy that Arim refused to take the bait. He was acting as if he really believed her, as if he wanted her…forgiveness? “So what do you want from me?”

  “Nothing, Blue. I ju
st want to show you how sorry I am for all that you’ve suffered. For all that you were made to do.” He sounded sad, and her heart dipped, aggravating her. Great sex with Arim and she’d been reduced to a pitiful mass of needy emotion. Hell, she struggled against the urge to tell him to forget the past, that she wanted to put it all behind her and start over. Weakness.

  “Now hold on.” She tugged again on her ropes. “Dammit, Arim. Release me.” To her surprise, he did. But he wouldn’t budge from his position on top of her. “What happened all those years ago was tragic, but it showed me who I really am and where I belong.”

  “Oh?” He lifted one brow in that conceited way of his and like clockwork, had her back up. “So all those rumours about you devouring small children and roasting Light Bringers for fun are true? Do you normally play tug-of-war with the Malinta demons for the souls of those you steal?”

  She snorted. “You are way, way off.”

  “I know,” he said smoothly and kissed the hollow between her neck and shoulder. To her dismay, his touch sent a bolt of lust straight to her womb. “I know a woman who hated me, who would love to see me dead, wouldn’t have put herself between me and Dark punishment at the hands of a mad Dark Lord. A woman who hated me surely wouldn’t have ignored a chance to humiliate me by outing my ‘sexual deviancy’ to Tanselm’s populace.”

  She squirmed, her body wanting him to share those deviant urges with her again. How the hell could she be so infuriated with him and so in lust with him at the same time?

  “Arim, let’s just forget—”

  “No. I don’t want to forget a moment with you. Not when we’ve spent lifetimes apart. I want more, Blue. I need more. I need you.”

  She took a breath, in shock at what she thought she saw in his eyes, when he took possession of her yet again.

  In his kiss she felt desire, love and the tendrils of possibilities snaking over her body, heart and mind. Not even the demon’s curse overshadowing her soul could stop her from reaching out to grasp at a foolish hope so close, and so long denied.

  Chapter Nine

  Arim groaned, wanting everything from Lexa they’d once had. That he could now clearly see the truth simultaneously hurt and freed him. To know she’d been so alone for so long but that she hadn’t deserved a moment of it broke his heart. He knew she hadn’t lived their years apart free from wrong-doing, but he also knew she wasn’t the monster the Church and others had painted her to be. In his heart of hearts, he’d never believed the horrible tales spread about Blue.

  Her Darkness once again embraced his Light, and despite the tension radiating between them, Arim wanted her even more. As if he hadn’t just jetted inside her, his body hardened again, needing her around him.

  She groaned into his mouth, her small hands clasping his shoulders with surprising strength. Tied up, he’d been in control. But the Dark needs within him clamoured to engage a woman who could withstand his raw desire. Only Lexa had ever met him thrust for thrust, and he wondered how she would taste fully freed from restraint.

  Urges rose, the need to pleasure and control, to dominate her completely. Hungers long denied threaded their way from his mind to hers, and he heard her gasp with feral pleasure.

  “I want to fuck you,” he growled and shoved her thighs apart. He thrust hard and continued to take her, slaking his need for battle in the clawing woman encouraging his control. “To own you, Blue. My own little sex slave.”

  She cursed him but instead of pushing him away, locked her ankles around his back and dragged his head down for a mind-blowing kiss. Her tongue pushed past his lips and took what she wanted. The press of her full breasts against his chest scored him with a burning cold that contrasted with his heat. Her pussy gloved him perfectly, gripping him with each push of his cock that sought the molten core of her.

  Lexa nipped his lip and he shoved deeper. “More,” she breathed, her eyes almost white with lust.

  He couldn’t stop himself from pulling out and flipping her onto her belly. Slapping her ass, he hefted her to her hands and knees and pushed himself into her channel, thrilling at the mastery of this position.

  “Fuck me,” Lexa cried as he rammed particularly deep.

  He couldn’t stop himself. The Darkness seethed within that hidden well of himself needing Lexa, to touch and hold her Darkness tight. Arim stared down at the milky white skin of Lexa’s smooth back, at her head bent in submission as he took her, and he came violently, shuddering as his Light and Dark flew into the place within her begging for him.

  She should have burned, should have shook with pain as his energy took hold of her and squeezed tight. But Lexa’s Darkness seemed to revel in his physical outburst, seeking more.

  “That’s all you have for me?” she purred, looking over her shoulder with an expression of sin. Her channel gripped him. A spear of Light, not his, jolted through his cock, setting him on fire with blue flame.

  Expecting pain, he was astonished when another roar of need filled him. Knowing instinctively what Blue wanted and needed, Arim pulled out of her slick heat and pushed into the opening just above the one he’d penetrated.

  Lexa moaned as he pushed deeper into her tight ass, and he could feel how new to this she was.

  “Does it hurt?” he panted, knowing his girth had to be causing discomfort. Yet her Darkness wouldn’t let him withdraw, encouraging more.

  “Yes, so good,” she whispered, opening for him as he shoved deeper. “Oh,” she panted, rocking back against him. “I need you.”

  Her juices coated his cock. Still his entry took patience to stretch her enough to take him. Leaning close, he gave her time to adjust and palmed her breasts, stirred anew at the perfect feel of her flesh in his hands. Love swelled between them as his cock hardened to the point of pain, and her flesh gave and gave as he grew.

  “Arim, what are you doing?” Lexa squirmed beneath him and broke that last vestige of control he desperately clung to.

  “Fuck,” Arim levered up from her back, still on his knees, still joined with her. He clenched her hips, helpless to keep himself from taking her. Pushing in and out, he found a quickening rhythm in time to Lexa’s rising heartbeat. The feel of her was like nothing he’d ever experienced, and his orgasm rose too fast to be denied. Yet this time he refused to come without Lexa. Internally grabbing the Darkness writhing within him, he took that bolt of desire and shoved it into her womb, focusing on the bundle of nerves between her legs.

  Her clit burned and throbbed, he could feel it. With everything he sensed and wanted from her, Arim pushed her into a climax that had her screaming his name.

  Her pleasure spiked his own, and even as he pounded into her, he couldn’t help relishing the fact he might be causing her painful ecstasy as he took his own pleasure. The need to own her, to possess all of Lexa overtook all sense as he shot into her ass, his cum coating her walls as he slid in and out, his orgasm so extreme he knew a moment of pure pleasure as he disappeared into the heart of their bliss.

  Darkness surrounded him. Arim thought he saw the essence that was Lexa, energy that burned a much dimmer blue than he might have expected from a soul so strong.

  Dim or not, her power captivated him. And then he was panting and coming again, his cock on fire as he jetted into her. Lexa rocked back into him as the bed shook from the force of his thrusts.

  Arim couldn’t stop pressing, the need for her overwhelming him. When he could finally make sense of anything again, he realised his grip on her hips was all that held Lexa up. Disengaging, Arim prayed he hadn’t been too rough. Sure she’d encouraged him, but not to this extent, surely.

  She moaned as she rolled to her back. “I had no idea you were so powerful.”

  Arim stared, bemused, as Lexa glowed with a Light he’d never expected to see.

  “I feel so good right now. So at peace.”

  Exactly. So she felt it as well. Dismayed his cock wanted still more of her when by rights Arim should have been as limp as a leraffe out of bloom, he sighed a
nd joined her on the bed, his need to touch and be touched forcing him to lay almost on top of her.

  “I…ah, I hope I wasn’t too rough.” How did he ask if she preferred rough sex without sounding as if he was prying? He didn’t want to come across as pushy, but he was dying to know what she could take. There was so much more he wanted to show her.

  “I’ve never done that before,” she mumbled, as if reading his mind. “But I wanted it with you. You make me want things I shouldn’t.”

  “Blue?”

  “I felt your need, Arim. Your desire to dominate, to punish and possess,” she said, her eyes closed, thank the Light, so she couldn’t see the flush he felt staining his face. She opened her eyes, and he saw his hungers mirrored there. “I want more.”

  A pleased smile broke over his face. “More, hmm?” He put a finger between her legs and stroked, pleased at the hiss of pleasure-pain she gave. “Sensitive, are you? How sensitive?” To his shock, his cock struggled to rise again. “I think you’ve bewitched me.”

  She chuckled, a sinister sound that slid over his body like a silken caress. “I’d say the same, but I know Sava’s tamped our powers.”

  “I know.” Arim sighed as he stroked her soft skin. “Much as it will surely pain me, I’m going to be in Sava’s debt forever.”

  “Oh?” She tried to lean on an elbow to better face him, but he held her flat with a hand to her chest, a hand that itched to flick those hard little nipples until she screamed.

  “He gave me back that part of me long missing.” Arim didn’t miss the alarm that crossed her face. There it was, the mistrust he’d banished if for just a short while. “The part that’s going to belong to me whether she likes it or not.”

  To his amusement, Lexa’s gaze frosted over. In an instant, his arousal increased tenfold.

  “Just who do you think you are? My lord and master?”

  “Hmm, ‘Master.’ That’s what we’ve been missing.”