by Kate Eastham
Alice sat quietly, staring at the stone flags and listening to the wet sheets flap to and fro.
‘You’re right, Eddy,’ she said at last. ‘You’re absolutely right. I need to find a way of getting out of here. But I’ve no place to live and no money. The only support I have is here … If Ada can find a way for me to return to work and finish my training, I’ll have a decent income, and that will allow me to keep Victoria with me. So that’s what I need to do. I just don’t know how I’d manage to make sure Victoria was well cared for while I worked. Even thinking about leaving her for a few hours every day makes me want to cry … But I’ll wait to hear what Ada thinks.’
Eddy reached for Alice’s hand and patted it comfortingly. ‘It wouldn’t be easy, but I think that it’s the only way … Unless your family could help?’
‘Forget about that,’ said Alice firmly. ‘I’ve kept the baby secret for a reason. They are very strict. Church every Sunday, Bible reading after tea, prayers before bed. They would never accept Victoria. My mother would have the baby sent for adoption straight away, I’m certain she would. I wouldn’t even risk going near my family.’
‘But what if they turned up to see you here?’ Eddy asked. ‘Would they ever do that?’
‘Well, my mother wouldn’t. She writes to me regularly but she can’t take time off work. As you know, she runs the family bakery and we supply bread to the whole village and the surrounding farms. There’s no let-up in the work, she couldn’t take time off even if she wanted to. And my father … I wish I could see him, but he’s head cowman at a nearby farm. He works every day of the week as well.’
‘Right, well, so at least you don’t need to worry about them turning up out of the blue and causing trouble,’ said Eddy. ‘And from what you’ve said before, the father of the baby, that Jamie, he’s gone for good?’
‘Yes, he emigrated for a new life and he’s still in Australia as far as I know,’ said Alice. ‘It’s a very good job I’ve got you,’ she added, as Eddy put an arm around her and gave her a squeeze. ‘But have you always been so strong? I feel like you’re squeezing the life out of me.’
‘I don’t know,’ beamed Eddy. ‘It’s a good thing, though, really, isn’t it? Given I’ve got a job where I need to single-handedly wrestle with dogs and patients and God knows what on a daily basis.’
‘It is good, but you need to make sure you don’t kill anyone by mistake,’ laughed Alice. ‘I don’t know what I’d do if you ended up in prison for manslaughter.’
‘Oh, you’d be all right, you know you would. I don’t know what it is, but since the baby was born, you seem to be more sure of yourself, and stronger. You really seem to have come into your own.’
‘Have I?’ mused Alice. ‘I suppose so. Probably helps not feeling sick all the time and not having to hide my big belly and worry about being found out by one of the Sisters at the hospital.’
‘Oh yes, the Sisters …’ said Eddy, pulling a wickedwitch face.
Alice laughed. ‘I bet you don’t miss Sister Law and Sister Fox.’
Eddy didn’t reply instantly, which was very unlike her. ‘It’s strange, isn’t it?’ she said eventually. ‘I’m meant to say, nah, I don’t miss that lot, but d’you know what? I do miss them in a strange kind of way. Maybe not Sister Fox – she can be unfair and a bit vicious. But someone like Sister Law, once you get to know her, well, you start to realize, those Sisters live their lives for the patients. It’s all about the welfare of the patients, and there’s something to be said for that.’
‘Mmmm, not so sure about that. When I was on the wards I began to think that Sister Law only lived to have a go at me.’
‘Do you think you will be able to go back, Alice?’
‘Well, let’s wait and see what Miss Houston has to say when she comes down to see me. No good jumping the gun, hey? But you know what, when I start talking to you about your work on the district and about the hospital, I really do start to miss it. It makes me feel that I do want to go back – but only if there were a way for Victoria to be properly looked after.’
‘Oh no, what time is it?’ said Eddy, jumping up from the bench and hastily pulling her hair back into some kind of shape before plonking the hat back on her head. ‘I need to get back out there to the ulcer dressings and the mustard poultices and the consumption.’
Alice reached up to straighten Eddy’s hat before pinning it in place, knowing it would probably be skew-whiff again before she even got out of the alley.
‘I’m very proud of you, Eddy,’ she said, giving her friend a kiss on the cheek.
‘And I’m proud of you too, Alice Sampson.’
When Eddy was gone, Alice sat back down on the bench in the back yard and leant her head against the wall. She’d started to think so much about going back to the hospital that she was a bit dizzy with it. And every time that she felt a surge of wanting to go back, she had an opposite surge of thinking that it could never be possible, of not wanting to leave her baby. She was in constant flux.
‘Come on, Alice,’ she muttered to herself. ‘You’re thinking too much, think about something else. What will be will be. No sense mithering about it.’
Glancing along the bench, Alice saw a book that Lizzie had lent her; with everything going on, she hadn’t even had time to open the first page. She’d always loved reading but all they’d ever been allowed at home were passages from the Bible. And then, last year, at the hospital, she’d read Miss Nightingale’s Notes on Nursing; but this was the first time that she’d ever been near a novel. She’d been reluctant to take it at first, there was always so much work to be done in the house, but Marie had insisted that she try to make time, telling her that every woman needed more than doing the laundry and feeding babies.
Reaching over and grabbing the book, Alice looked more closely at it, and started to leaf through the pages. It was called Wuthering Heights and written by Emily Brontë, and she could see straight away that this wasn’t something that you’d find in Sunday school. It was something that her mother would have referred to as the ‘work of the devil’, something that would most certainly lead her astray.
Alice opened the first page with relish.
In the end, it didn’t take long for Miss Houston to come down to Stella’s place to see Alice: she was there the next day. Just as Victoria was finishing her feed there was a tap on the door and then it opened.
‘Hello, Miss Houston. How did you get in?’ she laughed.
‘Oh, your friend Lizzie heard me knock and she was kind enough to let me in,’ said Ada, glancing around the kitchen, drawing in every detail.
‘Sorry,’ she said at last. ‘It’s just, I haven’t ever been to Stella’s home before, she always comes up to the hospital to see me. It’s nice to see where my half-sister lives. Is she in?’
‘No, you just missed her. You know Stella, always busy with something.’
‘Of course, well, hopefully I’ll see her another time. Please tell her that I called by, will you?’
‘I will,’ said Alice, getting up with the baby. ‘Now I’m just putting the kettle on – do you want a cup of tea?’
‘Yes, please,’ replied Ada, holding out her arms for the baby. ‘Will she come to me for a little while?’
‘Of course she will,’ said Alice warmly.
‘Hello there, beautiful,’ said Ada, instantly transfixed by the smiling baby who still had a bubble of milk at the corner of her mouth.
‘She’s used to going to different people,’ Alice told her. ‘Living here, she’s always enjoying a cuddle with one of the women or spending time with Marie.’
‘You are a lucky girl, aren’t you?’ said Ada, still completely absorbed, as she sat down and balanced the baby on her knee. ‘And you’ve got a whirl of hair on your crown, just like—Like my friend Mary’s baby … Yes, you have, haven’t you? And I could sit here talking to you all day, yes, I could. But I’ve come to see your mother …’
Still Ada didn’t show any sign of shi
fting her attention, so Alice busied herself with the tea, whilst her baby smiled and played on Ada’s knee.
At last, Ada looked over to Alice. ‘She’s still small, like all of those born too early, but she’s really filling out now, isn’t she? And she doesn’t seem to be showing any sign of what ailed her the other day.’
‘No, thank goodness. My stomach turned over when I felt her and she was so hot, and she seemed to be in real pain. I panicked. It must have been something and nothing.’
‘You reacted like any mother would,’ said Ada. ‘You were quite right to act quickly; we all know how serious a fever can be in babies. All the mothers in this city know that.’
‘I suppose so,’ said Alice. ‘And with the first, we’re bound to worry more …’
‘Exactly, so you did the right thing. You were just unlucky that the police were waiting outside the alley. What a thing to happen – taking a housemaid off the street simply because she stepped out of the door to get some medicine for her baby. Disgraceful … I’ve written a letter of complaint and sent it to Mr Fawcett at the Lock Hospital and the Police Constable.’
‘Have you really?’ said Alice, her eyes wide.
‘Yes indeed, and I’ve already had a reply from Mr Fawcett stating unfortunately that we must accept the jurisdiction of the police in the arrest of women off the street, even if they do prove to be former nurses.’
‘Typical,’ said Alice, wondering if she should share with Miss Houston that she’d seen Mr Fawcett at the brothel, but then thinking better of it.
‘Your experience must have been terrifying,’ Ada said gently. ‘I can’t even imagine …’
‘It was, but I had to get on straight away and look after Victoria, and there’s so much work to do here, I couldn’t afford to dwell on things. I just needed to keep going.’
Ada nodded. ‘I know what you mean, and sometimes it’s just best to keep busy and get on with the work. Speaking of which, do you remember I told you that if you wanted to finish the training, I’d try to find a way of you coming back when the time was right?’
‘Yes, I do,’ said Alice.
‘Well, after what happened the other day I’ve been putting some thought into things and, to be frank, I think you should seriously consider returning to work now that Victoria is old enough.’
Alice nodded.
‘You won’t have to repeat the whole training programme again. I don’t know how you did it, Alice, with all that was weighing on you, but you managed to get through the bulk of it … So I’ve spoken to Miss Merryweather.’
Alice drew in a sharp breath.
Ada smiled. ‘No need to be concerned, Alice. Miss M might not know that you are currently lodging in a brothel, but she has a great deal of experience of life. Even before she came to nursing she spent years working with women employed in a silk mill in Essex, striving to improve conditions for them and their children. And a few years ago she even signed a petition for women to get the vote …’
‘Really?’ said Alice in astonishment. ‘It’s just that she seems so strict and laced up, if you know what I mean?’
‘I know exactly what you mean, but trust me, Miss Merryweather is on our side and she will do all that she can to enable any capable woman to return to work and thereby lead an independent life.’
Alice opened her mouth to speak, but Ada continued.
‘Yes, Alice, you’re a capable woman, and that is why we’ve decided to award you special measures. If you do another stint on one ward, that should be sufficient. And if you get your qualification, then the salary that you’ll have afterwards will be enough to find your own lodgings in an area where you’ll be far less likely, as a single woman on the street, to get picked up by the police. Think about it, Alice. You had no chance of fulfilling your potential before. Wouldn’t it be good to come back and see where a return to nursing could lead?’
Alice could feel her heart starting to beat a little faster as she thought about her response. She knew that she was interested, but she also knew that she would have to speak to Marie first about whether she would consider looking after Victoria full-time whilst she was at work. She would pay her what she could out of her wage, of course, because it was important to know that her daughter would be cared for by someone she knew well, and trusted.
‘I’ll have to make arrangements for childcare,’ she said, ‘but if you’re really sure I don’t have to start again from scratch, I’d definitely like to come back to the hospital and finish my training.’
Ada smiled broadly. ‘That’s the spirit,’ she said. ‘And I’ve been putting some thought into how it all might be managed …’
Alice tried not to look at her baby’s smiling face. Even though she was sure that what she was planning was the right thing for both of them, she still felt guilty. It was a strange kind of guilt, though, laced with the excitement of a return to the world of work.
‘I’ve been putting some thought into how it could be managed,’ Ada went on. ‘I’ll get the uniform to you here and I’ll supply you with a district nurse’s cape and hat so that you can safely make your way back and forth to the hospital without being arrested. God help us if those men become suspicious of a nurse going about her duties. However, I will get a signed letter from Miss Merryweather for you to carry in your pocket, just in case.’
Alice was nodding and trying to smile, but seeing Victoria’s big eyes still gazing at her made her feel sorrowful, and momentarily, she was on the verge of tears as she thought about being separated from her.
‘Oh, and I’ve already spoken to your friend, Edwina Pacey, and she will, of course, do all that she can to support you,’ Ada said, standing up and handing Victoria back to Alice.
‘One more thing,’ she said, fishing in her bag. ‘I’ve brought you this … It’s a baby’s feeding bottle, a new design; I think it’s what they call turtle-shaped. The man who sold it to me assured me that clear glass is best so you can make sure it’s kept clean, and he also gave me a rubber teat … here it is. It will make things easier if you can start to wean the baby now, over the next few weeks, and then Marie can use this to give cow’s milk. Just make sure she boils it and lets it cool, that’s all. The milk has to be boiled.’
‘I will … and thank you,’ said Alice quietly. She was very grateful, of course, but it had struck her for the first time that she would have to more or less stop breastfeeding her baby. Maybe she could still give her an early-morning and a late-night feed, but for the rest, she would have to hand her over to Marie with this glass contraption. She knew she had no choice and she’d have to accept it, but standing there in the middle of the kitchen, clinging to her baby, she felt momentarily overwhelmed by the sadness of it all.
5
‘A woman who takes a sentimental view of nursing (which she calls “ministering”, as if she were an angel), is of course worse than useless.’
Florence Nightingale
Later that day, Alice sat down at the kitchen table with Marie and they talked it through. ‘Look, Alice,’ said Marie, ‘I don’t want you worrying about paying me. I mean, you’ve worked hard for your board and lodgings whilst you’ve been here. If you can still do a bit of summat to help out when you can, that should do—’
‘No, I want to pay you,’ Alice insisted, leaning across the table. ‘We need to have a proper arrangement, because I know what the work’s like at the hospital. It’s exhausting and the hours are long, so unless I’m on a half-day off, I’m not going to be able to help you as much as I’d like.’
‘Well, then, I suppose …’
‘Right, that’s a deal then.’ Alice reached out to take Marie’s hand. ‘Things will be tight, but I want to give you as much as I can out of my wage. I need a paper and pencil to work it out, but I know the wage is ten pounds a year, so—’
‘You keep back what you need, Alice,’ said Marie, giving her hand a squeeze. ‘You know I’m happy to look after Victoria. Me and her were made for each other …’
‘This came for you,’ she said solemnly. ‘It must be your new outfit.’
‘I think it is,’ replied Alice, feeling a little giddy as she picked up the sharp kitchen knife and slit through the string.
‘Ooh, dark grey,’ cooed Lizzie when the wool dress was revealed. ‘Just the thing.’
Alice smiled nervously and took up the uniform, shaking it out. ‘Very serviceable,’ she said with a glint in her eye. ‘Especially with a starched white apron and cap.’
Lizzie started to giggle and Alice was relieved. She knew that her friend had been excited and sad in equal measure about her return to work. She loved to come into the kitchen and chat during the afternoon, and since that day at the Lock Hospital the two of them had become even closer.
‘I like the look of this, though,’ said Lizzie, running a hand over the district nurse’s cape. ‘This would look very fine with my new red dress.’
Alice picked up the cape. ‘Go on, you can try it on,’ she said, handing it over.
Lizzie draped it around her shoulders and pulled it close at the front. ‘I’ve seen the nurses out in the city with these,’ she said, smoothing out the fabric with the flat of her hand, ‘and I know you’re not an actual district nurse, Alice, but wearing this now makes me feel very special, and do you know what, I feel very proud indeed to know someone who is training to be a nurse. I’ve heard so many stories about the district nurses and what a difference they can make to people in the city. They must have a strong stomach, though, those nurses, some of the things they have to see …’
‘Not necessarily,’ said Alice, thinking how well Lizzie looked in the cape. ‘You just have to learn to manage the heaving in your stomach, that’s all. You could do it, I’m sure you could.’
Lizzie smiled at her and gave a twirl. ‘Nurse Elizabeth Montgomery,’ she announced. ‘We call her Monty for short, and she can apply a bandage in the pitch dark or on the back of a cart moving at speed … she’s an absolute wonder!’
