by Kate Eastham
Alice had butterflies in her stomach as she walked down the corridor to the Female Medical Ward. Even as she approached the door, she could hear the high-pitched sound of Sister as she laid into someone over some issue.
‘Here I go,’ she muttered to herself, squaring her shoulders before walking through the door. ‘A lamb to the slaughter.’
Sister Fox stood, thin and unsmiling, at the top of the ward. She narrowed her eyes as Alice crossed the space between them.
‘So you’re the replacement,’ she said, almost spitting out the words. ‘Well, let’s see if you have any mettle. Today, you will be in charge of all dressings and I want you to supervise bed-making. I will be along to check.’
Of course you will, thought Alice, looking the woman straight in the eye without flinching. But I’m ready for you, make no mistake.
‘Now, nurses, gather round, and I will give you a summary of our patients and allocate the rest of you your duties.’
Alice felt a strange energy course through her body as Sister Fox spat out her instructions and tried to belittle the nurses who stood huddled before her. She knew that she could rise above all of this; she wouldn’t let this woman in a uniform get to her. All that mattered, on any ward, was looking after the patients. No one could take that skill away from her, and from what Eddy had said about Sister Fox, she liked to give out her orders and then disappear off somewhere, only emerging again for the doctors’ round. So Alice knew she could manage this. She would do her absolute best and if that wasn’t good enough for Sister Fox, then that was Sister Fox’s problem.
Even before they started the work, Alice had already given a reassuring smile to a couple of probationers who stood, petrified, before Sister. She would do what she could to help them. She would try to make a difference.
Eddy had been right: Sister Fox did disappear, but when she came back, just before the doctors’ round, she was ready to inspect. Alice saw her walking stiffly down the rows of beds, first one side, and then back up the other. Picking up a sheet on one, leaning down to scrutinize the hospital corners on another. Alice had done her best to supervise the bed-making, but all that she’d really had time to do was demonstrate what was expected to the probationers. And be kind to them, telling them to just do the best that they could.
‘Nurse Sampson,’ called Sister Fox, as she turned to face the ward. ‘It would seem that the bed-making is adequate.’
Phew, thought Alice, knowing not to show any visible relief. She simply nodded her head. Once the doctors had arrived, she went over to congratulate her probationers. ‘Well done, you two, well done.’
The whole thing was exhausting, and Alice felt like she was playing some kind of game, but she was able to come away from the ward at the end of her first day feeling that she had managed. And at least she’d been able to supervise the proper care of her patients. Most of the women on the ward were respiratory or heart cases. They were weakened and very poorly. They needed what Miss Houston had once described as tender care. Tender, loving care.
Alice would make sure that they got as much of that as possible for as long as she was on their ward.
‘How did you get on, first day back?’ called Eddy as Alice approached the door to the Nurses’ Home at the end of her shift.
Seeing her friend’s smiling face, Alice’s knees started to feel a bit weak, and she began to laugh, a strange, mildly hysterical laugh.
‘I hope Sister Law treated you kindly. I hope she drew you to the bosom of all trained staff.’
Alice was laughing even more now, and she could hardly get her words out.
‘What?’ said Eddy impatiently.
‘I haven’t been with Sister Law,’ hiccupped Alice. ‘I was sent to Female Medical.’
‘Sister Fox! Oh, my lord!’ Eddy almost shouted. ‘No wonder you look deranged.’
Alice held on to Eddy’s arm as they went in through the door, still laughing. ‘Yes, it was challenging, but I remembered what you once said about her bark being worse than her bite. And do you know what, you were wrong. She barks and she bites, and it’s all the same!’
Eddy was laughing too now as she helped Alice off with her apron and cap and on with her cape and hat.
‘I’ll tell you everything as we walk home,’ Alice said. ‘What a day. But just let me check the pigeonholes first. I wrote back to Maud from both of us, but there hasn’t been a reply. I just need to check—’
Alice stopped dead when she got to the pigeonholes and saw all the letters, neatly placed in their alphabetical slots. She recognized the envelope straight away. There sat a letter from her mother.
‘What’s up?’ asked Eddy, coming to stand beside her.
Alice withdrew the envelope slowly, and then turned it over.
‘It’s a letter from my mother,’ she said, glancing at Eddy.
‘Don’t open it,’ said Eddy, taking it out of her hand. ‘You don’t need to be reading that, Alice. You know exactly what she’s going to say.’
Alice paused for a moment, weighing it up, and then she held out her hand. ‘No, I want to read it,’ she said. ‘I’m prepared.’
Eddy handed the letter back, shaking her head, and Alice took a deep breath and then ripped the envelope open.
Alice,
Jamie has told us the story. We know everything. You are no longer a daughter of mine. The doors of this house are closed to you, for ever.
Jemima Sampson
‘Well, at least it’s short and sweet,’ said Eddy, putting an arm around Alice’s shoulders as she stood rigid, the letter still in her hand. ‘But how strange that she used her own name, her full name.’
‘I think she just wanted to make sure that I understood. I no longer have a mother.’
Eddy didn’t seem to know what else to say; she just gave Alice’s shoulders a squeeze.
The letter was exactly what Alice had expected, but she’d somehow wanted more detail, more outrage. And she’d wanted to know what her brothers thought, and most of all, what her father thought about her situation. All of the detail was missing. And for Alice it was a cruel absence. She thought of her father, sitting in his favourite chair by the fire, his head in his hands. She could see him crying. It made Alice want to cry too, and then she pictured him looking up at her, with the tears streaming down his face. And her heart felt as if it was breaking. She couldn’t bear the thought of never being able to see him again, but that might be exactly what this letter held in its brief words.
‘Alice?’ said Eddy gently. ‘Do you want me to take the letter?’
‘No,’ she said, wiping the tears that brimmed in her eyes with the flat of her hand, and then crumpling it and pushing it into her pocket.
‘I just need to go and see my daughter, that’s all.’
Alice slipped easily into the routine of her new ward. At least there was one thing to be said about Sister Fox: she never varied, which meant that once the routine was learnt, then so it went on day after day. That made Alice’s management of her situation on what was commonly referred to as ‘the worst ward at the hospital’ a little easier.
She devoted any spare moments that she had to working with the probationers, Nurse Kelly and Nurse Parker. They were from the same set as Fry and Bradshaw. They were single young girls, living in the Nurses’ Home, both coming out of domestic service, so at least they knew what was what when it came to hard work and strict routine. Alice thought that the pair of them were showing excellent qualities; they just needed to learn, that’s all. She was almost glad now that she’d been given the opportunity to support these two. It would have been such a shame if they’d given up and returned to maids’ work, just because of one ward, and one sister with a vicious temperament. Alice made it her task to guide the pair of them through. After all, these girls were the future of modern nursing, something that they should all be proud of.
She was pleased to see that the probationers also had some kindly support from the Reverend Seed. He seemed to spend a good deal of his time on Fema
le Medical, sitting with the patients, reading prayers and passages from the Bible. He had a gentle way with him, a way of making the female patients on the ward smile. Alice could see that even Sister Fox had a bit of a soft spot for the Reverend. Day by day, Alice was beginning to feel increasingly warm towards the young man with the pale face who, despite his bumbling ways, always tried to do his absolute best for everyone.
‘Nurse Sampson,’ he said one day, approaching her in the middle of the ward, ‘I wanted to say – I need to ask – how is your situation – is everything settled? I mean, with that young man who came on to the ward that day. The one who I …’ he said, balling his fist and miming a punch.
‘Yes, all settled,’ she said, smiling at him and seeing how his cheeks flushed bright pink.
‘Well, maybe one day, Nurse Sampson, when you’re ready, maybe you might want to take a cup of tea with me on one of your afternoons off.’
‘Yes, that would be very nice, Reverend,’ she said.
She could see the flush on his cheeks extending now across his whole face. He didn’t seem to know what else to say, so he bowed and walked away, bumping into the bottom of a bed as he went.
‘He’s so nice, isn’t he?’ said Nurse Kelly, as she came over to help Alice make up an empty bed. ‘And I think he really likes you, Nurse Sampson.’
‘Stop it now,’ said Alice, ‘and help me with this bed before Sister comes back down the ward and gives us both a telling off.’
But Alice suspected that Nurse Kelly was right, and what’s more, she was beginning to like him as well. But that was all, she liked him. She didn’t know if that was enough and she certainly didn’t have any time to ponder over it. Besides which, he didn’t know about Victoria – he didn’t know she had a child out of wedlock.
The bed was made up just in time, for the orderlies were coming through with a new admission. All Alice could see was an older woman with her grey hair piled high on her head. When they were up close, she registered with shock exactly who it was: Miss Fairchild, and she was gasping for breath.
‘Oh Alice,’ she said, reaching out a hand to her. ‘I can’t get my breath. I woke last night and I thought I was dying …’
Alice noticed immediately that the woman’s lips and the tips of her fingers were blue, and her face a deathly white. She grabbed her hand and held on with firm pressure.
‘Now, Miss Fairchild, I don’t want you to try and speak right now. We need to get you in bed and into a sitting position, so that your breathing will ease.’
Miss Fairchild nodded, and Alice felt a tightness in her own chest when she saw the woman’s eyes filling with tears.
‘Listen to me, Miss Fairchild,’ Alice said steadily. ‘You have been admitted to the hospital so that we can help you. There are medicines here that we can use, things that we can do to make you feel better.’
She gave Miss Fairchild’s hand an extra squeeze before turning to Nurse Kelly.
‘Run and get this patient some extra pillows, she needs to be propped up in bed. And then go directly to find one of the doctors – we need to get her assessed as soon as possible.’
Alice was still holding on to her patient’s hand.
‘Right, we’re going to transfer you on to the bed now. The orderlies will put the stretcher on the bed and then I want you to roll to me, and then they can slip it out from underneath you.’
‘I … understand,’ said Miss Fairchild, still gasping for air. Alice noted that the bluish discolouration of her lips was darkening.
‘Try not to speak, not till we get you settled,’ she said. ‘I want you to save your breath.’
Miss Fairchild nodded.
By the time Alice and Nurse Kelly had their patient propped up in bed, as high as they could, the doctor had appeared, ready to examine her.
‘Well done, Nurse Sampson,’ said the ward physician, Dr Logan, a man of older age and a very agreeable disposition. ‘I caught sight of this lady coming in on the stretcher but I was with another urgent case. You have already done most of what I would have recommended in the first instance. And I can see that our patient’s breathing is much improved. Now, Miss Fairchild, let’s have a listen to your chest.’
‘Go for the screen, Nurse Kelly, please,’ said Alice, and then she stayed right by the bed as the doctor first checked the pulse and then listened to his patient’s chest with his stethoscope.
‘You seem to have some irregularity of the heart and that’s why you are out of breath,’ he said.
Miss Fairchild seemed to fold in on herself. Clearly, she was preparing for the worst.
‘The good thing is, my dear,’ said Dr Logan, seeing the look on his patient’s face, ‘we have some medicine here at the hospital that might help your heart. It’s derived from a plant, the purple foxglove; it’s called digitalis. If we use it correctly, it will slow and strengthen the heart rate. We have been using it here for quite some time, so we know what we’re doing … If we get the dose right and if your heart responds to the medicine, then we can make things a lot better for you.’
‘Thank you, Doctor,’ panted Miss Fairchild.
‘Nurse Sampson,’ said the doctor, turning with a smile, ‘are you familiar with the radial pulse?’
‘Yes, I am,’ she said.
‘Well, if you palpate it now, that’s it, feel at her wrist … can you feel how fast, how erratic, how jumpy it is?’
‘Yes, I can,’ she said.
‘Now I want you to remember that. And I want you to check that pulse every single day and make a note of it – will you do that?’
‘Yes, of course,’ said Alice.
‘And if she gets a bad attack again, we’ll ask Dr McKendrick to try a hypodermic injection of morphine. We’ve been having some success with using it, just a tiny dose … it really settles the patient and it eases breathing.’
‘I’ll remember,’ said Alice, ‘and I’ll pass the information on to Sister Fox and the night sister.’
After Dr Logan had retreated, Miss Fairchild beckoned for Alice to come closer. ‘Alice,’ she whispered, ‘thank you for looking after me. There is one more thing … I don’t want Maud to know, please don’t tell her …’
‘But she would want to know, Miss Fairchild, you know she would.’
‘No,’ she said quietly, starting to pant for breath again. ‘I don’t … want to worry her when she’s so far away and can’t do anything.’
‘That’s all right, Miss Fairchild,’ said Alice, concerned that her patient would start gasping for air again. ‘I understand.’
Alice was quick to tell Eddy about Miss Fairchild, though, as soon as the two of them met up after work.
‘Who?’
‘You know, Maud’s housekeeper, the one who gave you a handkerchief at the harbour that day.’
‘Of course,’ said Eddy. ‘What’s wrong with her? I hope she’s going to be all right. And Maud is so far away.’
‘She has heart failure but she doesn’t want Maud to know anything, that’s what she said.’
‘Yes, but don’t you think we should—’
‘No, Eddy,’ said Alice firmly. ‘And don’t you go blabbing to anyone about it, do you hear? I promised the woman that we would say nothing.’
‘Maud won’t be happy.’
‘I know she won’t, but a patient’s request is a patient’s request.’
‘Fair enough, Alice,’ said Eddy. ‘I daren’t contradict you, not now you’re working on that ward with Sister Fox … I think you might be becoming a bit like her, all stern and bossy. Nurse Sampson, the very next scourge of the Infirmary. Feared by all …’
‘Stop it, Eddy,’ said Alice cackling with laughter, and pretending to slap her around the back of the head. ‘Stop that or I’ll dismiss you on the spot.’
21
‘Every Nurse must grow. No Nurse can stand still. She must go forward or she will go backward every year.’
Florence Nightingale
Three days later, as Alice stood
by Miss Fairchild’s bed dutifully checking her pulse, she gave a contented sigh.
‘Is everything all right?’ asked her patient.
‘Yes, it is,’ said Alice warmly, turning to the chart that sat by the bed so that she could make a note of her reading. ‘Your pulse is much steadier. You still have some irregular beats but it’s slowed down nicely. I’m so glad that I’ve been able to monitor this all the way through. How are you feeling now?’
‘As you can see, much better,’ said Miss Fairchild, smiling. ‘I’m hoping that Dr Logan might let me walk soon. I’ve been getting up to stand at the side of the bed, but I think I’m going to seize up altogether if I don’t start walking soon.’
‘Let’s see what he says on the ward round in the morning,’ said Alice. ‘But from what I can see, you are much improved. Your colour is better, your lips are pink. So I think he will be in agreement.’
‘I hope I’ll be able to do it, after all these days in bed,’ said Miss Fairchild, her voice suddenly flat. ‘I’ve already handed over all of my keys for the big house to another housekeeper … What if I’m going to be stuck in this bed for the rest of my life? What if I’ll never be able to get back to my post?’
‘Look, Miss Fairchild,’ said Alice gently, crouching down by the side of her bed. ‘We have no way of knowing until you try. So it makes no sense for us to start fretting over something that might not be a concern. Think about it this way – all’s well until proved otherwise. And if it doesn’t work out the way we want, then we’ll just have to put our heads together and try to find a way of managing, making the best of it.’
‘Alice, you are the sweetest, kindest person I think I’ve ever known, but I’m not sure if I can stop fretting. One minute I’m thinking everything will be fine, the next I’m plunged into complete despair … I don’t seem to have any control over it.’
Alice stood up and put an arm around the woman’s shoulders. ‘You are bound to feel like that, of course you are. And it seems to me that you just need to know, one way or the other. And that’s another reason for you trying to walk.’
