Daughters of Liverpool

by Kate Eastham

  ‘But I’m afraid,’ said Miss Fairchild, her lip starting to tremble.

  Alice reached for her hand. ‘Of course you are. Anyone would be. But I’ll be with you in the morning, right by your side, and we’ll face whatever’s coming together.’

  Miss Fairchild nodded and then slipped a hand up the sleeve of her nightgown and removed a handkerchief.

  ‘Now, I need to go back up to the other end of the ward but I’ll come back down here in about half an hour, to check on you … I’m off this afternoon but I’ll be back in tomorrow for a full day. I’ll be there if Dr Logan says that you can get out of bed.’

  Miss Fairchild nodded again and then sniffed a little. ‘Thank you, Alice,’ she said, her voice husky. ‘I do not know what I’d have done without you.’

  Alice was really looking forward to her afternoon off. She’d been so busy with the patients and the probationers and keeping out of the way of Sister Fox that even as she walked away from the ward, she still had all the details of her work running through her head – all she had done and the issues that she would need to follow up tomorrow. Miss Fairchild was at the top of her list.

  She knew that she was ready for some time off and she was anxious to be away, but she had to stop in her tracks for a few moments as the hospital visitors poured in through the door. As she stood in the corridor watching them all flow by, she hoped that Miss Fairchild would be getting a visitor, someone who could offer some cheer. Not all visitors can do that, she thought, with a wry smile, remembering some of the conversations she’d overheard at a patient’s bedside.

  She wasn’t, in fact, going straight home that day. The Reverend Seed had finally plucked up enough courage to ask her out for afternoon tea. He’d seemed very excited about the whole thing, and he’d told her that he’d located a suitable establishment and booked a table. He was meeting her outside the hospital at two p.m.

  The fateful hour, Alice thought, as she walked along, desperately trying to push any trace of Roderick Morgan to the back of her mind. Infuriatingly, ever since the Reverend had started paying her some attention, she had started thinking about Morgan again. For so long, every time a hint of a thought had come into her head, she’d pushed it away. She’d been able to do that. But now, for some reason, there he was again. And increasingly she found herself thinking about their day at the park and the lazy glide of the swans on the water as they sat by the lake. All of it. She had to keep reminding herself of how she’d felt when Nancy told her that he was married, how devastated she was. But she couldn’t make it outweigh the other feelings: the memories of their day out, the smell of him, the look in his eyes, and that kiss as they stood under the clock on Lime Street Station.

  ‘Stop it, Alice, stop it right now,’ she muttered as she walked down the corridor. No good could possibly come from having those thoughts. And he hadn’t even written or tried to make any contact. She just needed to see how things went with the Reverend Seed, see a bit more of him … But that’s it, she thought, I can only think of him as the Reverend. I can’t even think of calling him Lawrence.

  ‘You just need to see how it goes,’ she muttered to herself, more firmly, as she came out through the main door. ‘Give him a chance.’

  ‘Alice?’ said a gentle voice from behind her. ‘Alice!’

  She stopped in her tracks immediately. She knew that voice, she would have known it anywhere.

  ‘Father?’ she cried, turning to face him. ‘Father!’

  Frederick Sampson had removed his hat and he stood with it in his hands, fiddling at the brim, as he stared at Alice, with tufts of his hair sticking out at all angles and tears in his eyes.

  ‘Alice,’ he said again, his voice breaking, and she was immediately there, holding him in her arms, as he cried on her shoulder.

  She was sobbing now too. ‘I thought I’d never see you again.’

  ‘What, leave my Alice? Forget about her? Never in a million years.’

  ‘How are you? How is everyone?’ she asked. Then, drawing back from him, she remembered the reality of her situation, and her body stiffened as she saw the pained expression on his face.

  ‘I’m so sorry,’ she said, reaching out a hand and gently touching his forearm.

  She knew that she had to act swiftly, she had to make things right between them, or they never would be, ever again.

  ‘Wait here,’ she said, taking his hand. ‘I need to go and get changed, but then I’ll take you home with me to see Victoria, your granddaughter.’

  Frederick nodded and then he wiped his eyes with the flat of his hand and put his hat on.

  Alice glanced back as she walked towards the Nurses’ Home, just to make sure that her father was still there and that he was waiting for her. When she turned around, there was the Reverend smiling at her.

  ‘I’m so sorry,’ she said. ‘My father has just turned up unexpectedly, we will have to rearrange. I’m really sorry.’

  Alice saw his face drop instantly and she felt for him.

  ‘There he is, waiting,’ she said, pointing to Frederick. ‘I had no idea he was coming today.’

  The Reverend nodded but she could see how disappointed he was.

  ‘Until next time,’ he said, taking her hand gently and forcing himself to smile. ‘I can wait for another time.’

  Alice smiled warmly and then she was running into the Nurses’ Home, her heart fluttering and her mind flying all over the place with the excitement of introducing her father to Victoria.

  She changed into her cape and hat quickly and then ran down the steps, eager to rejoin the lone figure standing quietly in his tweed jacket and woollen waistcoat. ‘That’s the Nurses’ Home where I used to live,’ she said, as she walked back towards him, turning so that she could point out the fine building.

  ‘My word, Alice,’ he said, starting to smile. ‘What a grand place it is!’

  She smiled and linked arms with him. ‘And I did manage to finish my training and I’ve got a position as a trained nurse on the Female Medical Ward.’

  He nodded his approval.

  ‘We’ll head back through the city now towards Lime Street. There’s just one thing, though, that I might need to explain about where I live …’

  ‘No need, Alice,’ he said quietly. ‘Jamie furnished us with all the details … he told us everything.’

  Alice nodded. ‘Sorry about that … but you do understand that I only worked there as a housemaid? I’ve never engaged with any other kind of activity … I needed somewhere to live, and without the women there, me and the baby, we’d have been out on the street.’

  Frederick nodded. ‘I guessed that, Alice. And I’m so sorry that you weren’t able to come to us, at home. I would never have turned my back on you.’

  ‘I know. But you know what Mother’s like, she would have thrown me out. I daren’t come home. I wanted to keep my baby, I wasn’t even thinking straight at the time. But I feared for my child. I couldn’t risk coming home.’

  ‘What a world we live in,’ said Frederick, shaking his head. ‘We all know that women have babies outside of marriage. And instead of helping them, we shun them, turn our backs on our own kin, out of some sense of right and wrong handed down by other people. Well, I won’t have any of it, Alice, not any more. From now on, I’ll do all that I can for you and my granddaughter.’

  ‘Thank you,’ smiled Alice, holding on to his arm even more tightly. ‘But I somehow think that Mother would not agree with you and I bet she doesn’t even know that you’re here.’

  ‘No, she doesn’t,’ said Frederick with a wry smile. ‘Right now, she thinks I’m in Manchester, looking for new halters for the cows.’

  Alice couldn’t help but laugh when she saw the twinkle in his eye. She would never have thought he would dare to break free.

  ‘Marie, Marie,’ called Alice as soon as she was in through the front door, with Frederick in tow. ‘We have a visitor.’

  Marie turned with the baby in her arms and opened her mouth to
speak, but when she saw the look on the face of the man who had just entered the room with Alice, no words would come. She had no need to ask who it was. As the man removed his hat, she could see that he still had enough strands of red hair amongst the grey to secure a strong family resemblance. And the way he looked at Victoria …

  ‘Hello, precious,’ murmured Frederick, walking towards his granddaughter as if hypnotized.

  Alice stood still and held her breath. Her heart felt like it was fit to burst in her chest.

  ‘Hello there,’ he said again. ‘You are a beautiful girl, aren’t you, and is that a streak of red in your hair?’

  Victoria looked at him, her eyes wide, then she glanced back to Marie.

  ‘Will you come to me?’ he said, placing his hat down on the table, and offering his hands out to her. ‘Will you come to me?’

  Alice felt a lump rise in her throat as Victoria beamed back at her grandfather, holding her arms out. He took her and held her close for a moment before looking at her again and continuing to talk to her. ‘My lovely girl, you don’t need to worry. I’m just your old grandad, that’s who I am …’

  Frederick, Alice and Marie were all crying now, together.

  Frederick sat carefully in the chair by the stove after Victoria had settled for her nap. She’d stayed with him, playing with her cloth dog and listening to his stories and his songs, until she’d got tired. And then she’d wanted Alice.

  As Alice busied herself cutting some cake and pouring the tea, she looked over to see Hugo lift his head from where he lay in front of the stove. To her surprise, he got up and the next minute he was rubbing himself against her father’s legs and starting to purr as Frederick reached down to stroke him.

  ‘There you go, puss cat,’ murmured Frederick. ‘You are a strange fella, aren’t you? And it looks like you spend all day lying in front of that fire …’

  ‘He does,’ said Alice, laughing. ‘And he doesn’t usually pay anybody any attention. I think you’re the first. He just ignores me and Marie, all day long.’

  ‘It must be my country ways he likes,’ smiled Frederick. ‘Don’t you, fella?’ he said, giving him one last stroke.

  Alice pulled up a chair and sat opposite him. She still couldn’t believe that he was here, sitting with her in the kitchen. Her father.

  ‘I’m so glad that you came to see me,’ she said. ‘I hope you will come and see us again.’

  ‘You try stopping me,’ he grinned, and Alice reached out a hand to him – this gentle man, her father, who had never once, to her knowledge, spoken out of turn to his wife.

  ‘And what’s more, when I go home, I’m going to tell your mother exactly where I’ve been. I’m going to tell her about Victoria and make it clear that I will be coming down to Liverpool to see our granddaughter as often as I can.’

  Alice stared at him, her eyes wide.

  ‘Yes, I know, the fury of hell itself will rain down on me for some time to come. But I can withstand that, Alice. What I can’t withstand is thinking that I will never see you or my precious granddaughter ever again.’

  ‘Thank you for that,’ said Alice. ‘And if you do need a place of safety then you could always come and live here in the city with us.’

  ‘I’ll bear that in mind, Alice,’ he smiled, ‘but you know what I’m like. I’m a countryman with country ways, I need to be on the land. And who’d look after the herd? I’ve left Tim Cowley in charge today – who knows what I’ll find when I get back? Last time, he forgot to milk four of ’em.’

  Alice laughed out loud, and then her face clouded a little. ‘I hope that things don’t get too difficult for you, though, back home.’

  ‘Don’t you worry about that, Alice. And there is something as well that I can fall back on, something about me and your mother that might work in our favour.’

  ‘What’s that?’

  ‘You have to swear, Alice, not to tell anyone, even your brothers. If this got out, then it’d really put the cat among the pigeons …’

  ‘I won’t tell a soul. What is it?’

  ‘Well, the thing is, your mother, well, she was in the same situation that you were in, when we got married.’

  ‘You mean she was …’

  ‘Yes, she most certainly was. She was expecting your eldest brother. We had to get married and sharpish. Well, your grandfather was a lay preacher at the Methodist chapel. He was blazing with fury. The whole thing was terrible.’

  Alice didn’t know what to say. She was stunned. To think that her mother’s severity, her endless ranting about the work of the devil and avoiding sin, might have been some kind of reaction to what had happened to her as a young woman … Jemima Sampson had, herself, committed what she had always insisted was ‘the greatest sin of all’.

  ‘Well,’ she said at last, ‘I never thought that’s what you were going to say …’

  ‘What’s more, your grandfather threatened me with a shotgun.’

  ‘Really?’

  ‘He did, and the thing was, I wanted to marry Jemima anyway, she’d always been the one for me. So, there are ways and means that I have for managing your mother. Try not to worry too much. I’m not saying she’ll be down here with me, to see you and the baby. You know what she’s like, she’s her own worst enemy sometimes. We both know that she won’t back down from this. But what I am saying is, she won’t be able to stop me from coming.’

  ‘So that’s good then,’ breathed Alice. ‘Victoria needs to see her grandfather.’

  ‘And then, when enough time has gone by, maybe you’ll be able to come and visit us at home. But I can’t make any promises there …’

  ‘I understand,’ said Alice, not wanting to rush back anyway, not even knowing if she would ever want to see her mother again.

  ‘And now she’s not hankering after you and Jamie getting together, not since he upped and got engaged as soon as he came back—’

  ‘Did he?’ said Alice. ‘Who to?’

  ‘To Mavis Webster, from Valley Farm.’

  Alice couldn’t think who it was at first and then she remembered pale-faced Mavis, George Webster’s girl, from Sunday school.

  ‘She’s the only child, she’ll inherit the lot when he’s gone.’

  Alice felt nothing but relief. That made everything clearer and she could be more certain now that Jamie wouldn’t be coming back to haunt her. She wished him luck there, though – Mavis had always been a sour-faced misery, even as a child.

  22

  ‘… the friendships that have begun at this School may last through life …’

  Florence Nightingale

  There was a note waiting for Alice on the kitchen table the next morning, lying beside a beautiful bouquet of flowers. ‘Who are they from?’ asked Marie as she stood waiting impatiently for the details.

  ‘Oh, I know who they’ll be from,’ replied Alice. There was only one man she could think of who would send her flowers. How sweet of him to take the trouble … He must have asked Miss Houston for her address.

  ‘They arrived first thing,’ said Marie. ‘They must have come freshly cut from the flower seller. I’ve never seen such flowers, they smell wonderful.’

  The Reverend Seed has really excelled himself, thought Alice, smiling to herself as she picked up the envelope and noted the handwriting. He writes with a real flourish as well, she thought, expecting to see a rather cramped, stilted style.

  As she pulled the folded letter out of the envelope, she felt the quality of the paper. He likes the best, she thought. The Reverend Seed is a man full of surprises.

  As soon as Alice saw the words on the paper, she felt winded, and needed to clutch the back of a kitchen chair for support.

  ‘Goodness,’ cried Marie. ‘Are you all right?’

  Alice nodded. She felt ridiculous, but she couldn’t speak for a moment.

  ‘These flowers aren’t from who I expected,’ she said eventually, staring at Marie. ‘They’re from that married man, Roderick Morgan.’

>   ‘Read it, read it,’ implored Marie.

  Alice sat down at the table and as she read the words her heart was racing.

  My dearest Alice,

  Please accept my sincere apologies. I have no right to expect anything from you as I send these flowers. All I want is for you to know that I had absolutely no intention of causing you any distress.

  I hope your work is going well. And I also hope that, one day, you will agree to accompany me on another walk in the park.

  Yours, affectionately,

  R.M.

  Alice made to crumple the note; she wanted to throw it to the back of the fire. But as she held it, she caught the merest scent of his cologne and it stirred some feeling in the pit of her stomach.

  ‘Oh, for goodness’ sake,’ she muttered. ‘I can’t be getting into that again.’

  ‘I think you never got out of it, Alice … seeing your face when you opened that letter …’

  Alice was furious with herself. Angrily folding the letter, she pushed it back into the envelope. She could smell the flowers, the scent was wonderful, but she wouldn’t look at them. Grabbing her cape and hat, she leant over Victoria’s crib and kissed her lightly on the cheek.

  ‘Bye, Marie,’ she called, anxious to be out of the room. ‘Chuck those flowers away for me, will you?’

  But Marie was shaking her head and already looking for a suitable vase so that she could arrange them for Alice to see when she came back from work.

  Alice marched to the hospital, her legs aching with the exertion by the time she got there. She needed to try and walk it off, stop that feeling that she got when she thought about the lazy glide of the swans on the lake at the park, the smell of his cologne, his dark eyes. She would manage this, she could keep her feelings at bay.

  ‘Morning, Alice,’ she heard Eddy call from the other side of the street as she made her way to her work in the city.

  ‘Morning,’ she called back, seeing Eddy give her a curious glance. She always knows when something’s up, thought Alice. But by the time I meet her after work, this will all be sorted and I’ll have no need to explain anything.