Out to Protect

by Amber Skyze

  “Funny. Real funny,” he called out, waving the folder with a hot young blond on the cover.

  Susy walked over and pulled each picture off. She waved them up in the air.

  “Who stole my guys? I’ll break the fingers of the next guy who steals pictures off my desk.” She winked at Grant.

  He couldn’t help but smile. She’d come to his rescue. She hadn’t turned her back on him.

  “Thanks,” he whispered.

  “Anytime. You don’t deserve this. They shouldn’t judge a person by his sexuality.”

  Grant sighed. Finally. This was the reaction he’d been hoping for. It was a bit delayed, but very welcomed right now.

  She patted his hand. “It will get better. You’ve known these guys for a very long time. Some are manly men. I get what you’re going through, and maybe someday others will appreciate your honesty.”

  “I hope you’re right. I’m worried about Ralph. He’s really pissed. I’m not sure what he’s going to do at this point. He’s in Heslin’s office now.”

  “I’m sure he just needs time. Everyone needs time. We’re cops. We’re a tough bunch. When people think about being gay, they think weak and sissy. I’m not trying to hurt your feelings, but that’s the truth.”

  Grant looked around the room. No one paid attention to him and Susy. They were busy doing their own thing. That alone was a good sign. He wasn’t being stared at like some freak.

  “I appreciate your pep talk. It means a lot to me.”

  “Hey, I can understand them needing time to figure things out, but this is just not acceptable.” She held up the pictures.

  He nodded. “No. I never expected them to go this far. I can’t imagine who did it, and honestly I don’t want to know. I just want to put this all behind me.”

  The phone on his desk rang.

  “You get that and don’t worry about the guys.”

  Grant watched Susy walk away back to her desk. Thank God he had someone on his side.

  “Matteson,” he said, answering his phone.

  “Get in my office now.” A dial tone buzzed in his ear.

  “Great.” He could only imagine what the conversation had been like with Ralph. He knew from the tone of the chief’s voice things were not good. Ralph probably told the chief he wouldn’t be seen with him out on the streets.

  How could so much hatred come from one admission? Susy was right; he’d known these guys for many years. Ten to be exact. Some were newer, and some were older, but he’d come on the force a nineteen-year-old rookie. They’d welcomed him with open arms. He’d been immediately assigned to Ralph. Ralph was five years older than him and had been married with two small children at the time Grant joined. Their age difference hadn’t mattered. They’d still bonded, and that hadn’t wavered until today. Now it seemed their once-strong friendship was forever damaged.

  Grant took a deep breath and headed back to the boss’s office. He knocked and entered without waiting to be asked in. He was expected. Another surprise awaited him when he entered the room. Ralph stood over to the left of the chief. He had his arms crossed over his chest and a look of disgust on his face. That didn’t surprise him. The presence of Parker was what took him aback.

  Parker sat in one of the two chairs.

  “Sit.” The chief pointed to the other empty chair.

  Grant didn’t hesitate. He sat and crossed his arms.

  “I’m not in the mood to deal with the present situation. There are too many other important issues that need this department’s attention. So in the interest of this department, I’m going to partner Ralph up with Stanley, and since Parker hasn’t been paired up yet, he’s going to work closely with you, Grant.”

  Grant cringed. He knew Parker was gay, and the kid was still in the closet. The last place he wanted to be was driving around with Grant.

  “I’m not sure this is a good idea, Chief.”

  “Sounds perfect to me,” Ralph said. Disgust dripped from every word.

  Ralph definitely didn’t want anything to do with Grant, and as far as he was concerned, Grant being stuck with the new kid was perfect.

  “Chief, do I get a say in this?” Parker asked.

  Great, no one wants to be partnered with me? I’m really the leper of the department.

  Bile rose up his throat to the back of his mouth. Could this get any worse?

  “No! You two get moving and find the serial killer. Just be advised that Ralph and Stanley will be doing their own investigation too.”

  Ralph mumbled something, but Grant couldn’t understand him. It was just as well. He’d likely said something offensive, and Grant didn’t need any more harsh remarks from his friend.

  No matter how Ralph felt, Grant still considered him a friend. He understood his anger and would give him time to come to terms with everything.

  “What are you all waiting for? Get the hell out of my office and out on the streets.”

  “Yes, sir.” Ralph charged out of the office.

  Parker looked to Grant. “We better get going.”

  Grant stood and looked at the chief. “I’m sorry, sir.”

  “Just catch me a killer.”

  He didn’t look up from the paperwork. Grant hadn’t expected him to. He didn’t want to address Grant’s confession right now. He wanted to push it to the side and deal with it later. This wasn’t the first time a person had done that to him, and it wouldn’t be the last, but they’d have to discuss the problem in the end. There was no two ways about it. He and Ralph would have to face the facts too. It was only a matter of time.

  “Let’s go, Parker. I guess you’re stuck with me.”

  Chapter Two

  How the fuck did he manage to get stuck with Grant? Of all the rotten things the chief could do—stick him with the one gay guy who decided to come out of the closet. Parker had a full career ahead. The last thing he wanted was to be tied to the one man who could ruin him.

  Parker followed Grant out to his car. His new partner continued to mumble things under his breath. Parker refused to ask Grant if he was talking to himself. He might be forced to work with Grant, but he didn’t have to engage in conversation, unless it was job related.

  To keep his sexuality a secret, Parker had severed all ties with former relationships. He kept a low profile. He refused to let anyone know he preferred men over women. It wasn’t like he hadn’t tried to be like the other guys he hung out with. Parker dated his share of women. He even slept with a few. In the end he realized they did nothing for him. He still desired a man. Over the last year, as he’d cut ties, he’d grown lonely. He desperately wanted companionship but couldn’t risk anyone finding out.

  His parents would be furious if they knew their only son was gay. He’d grown up in a home where you went to school, got a good education, found a job, got married, and lived happily ever after. The catch was he was supposed to marry a woman.

  Parker had no desire for the happily ever after with a woman. If he’d been smart, he would’ve chosen a profession where being gay wasn’t a problem. Instead he decided he wanted to fight crime and get the bad guys. Now he had to live with secrets. Though he had to do the same thing with his parents, so, in reality, he was used to it.

  “Just gonna stare out the window all day?”

  Parker hadn’t realized they’d driven away from the station and were now in the vicinity of where some of the victims were found. Grant apparently wanted to make conversation, but Parker wasn’t feeling it.

  “Yeah.” He didn’t bother looking Grant’s way.

  “Look, I realize I scare you. It’s because of guys like you that I decided to come clean.”

  “Guys like me? What the fuck does that mean?” Parker’s nose flared when he clenched his teeth. How dare Grant associate him with his kind? They were nothing alike. Grant evidently liked to be outspoken and draw attention to himself. Parker preferred to be a wallflower and have no one notice him. On top of that, Parker was soft and gentle; Grant was harsh. Par
ker resented being compared to him.

  “Come on, man, I’m not stupid. Don’t you think I know?”

  His emphasis on the word know irritated Parker.

  “You don’t have a fuckin’ clue.” Grant irked him with his high-and-mighty attitude. He thought he knew so much. Fuck him.

  Grant laughed. His laughter, even though irritating, reached inside, almost softening him. Almost.

  “I don’t find anything about this situation funny. I don’t know what you think you know, but let’s just get this cleared up. I’m not gay. Never was and never will be.” Parker knew he sounded convincing. He’d practiced this argument over and over.

  “If you say so.”

  “If you say so,” Parker mimicked. “Look, dude. I’m not saying you’re bad or anything for being gay. That’s your business. Just don’t try to drag me into your situation. I’m not like you,” Parker said.

  “I understand your frustration, Parker. I’ve been in your shoes. In fact, I’m guessing your family doesn’t have a clue that you’re a homosexual.”

  There he goes with that word again. Parker’s body tensed.

  “Tsk.”

  “Yup, I hit a sore spot for you. Here’s the deal. I understand, Parker. My family had a holy heart attack when I told them I wasn’t going to get married and have children. Shit, my mother had been trying to fix me up with every available woman she could find. She wanted to fix me.”

  “How’d that work out for her?” Parker hadn’t expected to engage him, but curiosity got the best of him.

  “It didn’t. She couldn’t fix me. I wasn’t broken. I just don’t like women.”

  Parker could relate. He knew he’d have the same issues if he decided to tell his family. The chances of that happening were highly unlikely, though. He knew what his parents expected, but he would never be able to give it to them.

  “How are they now, with, you know…you being gay?” Parker relaxed his shoulders and eased deeper into the passenger seat. He turned his gaze to the front window instead of the side one. He couldn’t help but wonder about the outcome for Grant.

  “They’ve accepted the fact that I’ll never marry a woman. They’re not happy, and I don’t bring anyone home to meet the parents.” He laughed.

  Parker found it great that Grant could laugh about his life. His only wish was to one day look back and have this all be a distant memory. A life without being looked at with repulsion for being different. Now that would be heaven.

  “How does that make you feel? Not being able to share your lover with your family?”

  “I’m not currently in love with anyone.”

  “Why the hell would you stir up so much craziness if you’re not in love with anyone? What the fuck is wrong with you?” Parker wanted to punch something, namely Grant. He risked all his friendships over no one? God, this guy was just plain ole stupid. He was the biggest dumbass he’d met in a long time. Another reason they were not alike.

  “For the future. I’m more concerned about my future relationships than I am about the present.”

  “Yeah, well, I’d say you’re a fuck head.”

  Grant let out a hearty bellow. “I appreciate your honesty.”

  Grant was weird but charming, and if Parker was honest, he wasn’t bad-looking. Parker preferred blonds, like Grant, and his blue eyes would make any man or woman swoon. Only Parker wasn’t interested in getting involved, especially with the one guy who felt honesty was the best policy. Parker needed secrecy. In his world, staying in the proverbial closet was the only option.

  “Coffee?”

  “Sure.” Parker leaned his head against the headrest and closed his eyes. Today was going to be a very long day.

  “After we grab coffee, I have a few people I think we should talk to.”

  “Whatever you think is best.” Parker wouldn’t argue. As long as they didn’t have to talk about being gay, he was fine.

  Grant drove them to a coffee shop close to where some of the bodies were dumped. Parker lagged behind, letting Grant do the talking. These were his people. He knew the area, so they’d feel more comfortable talking to him. Besides, Parker wasn’t sure he could talk sensibly at this point. His mind still reeled with the events of the day. All the talk about coming out bothered him, and to be partnered up with Grant added more pressure.

  What would the guys think of him if he made nice with Grant? Would they assume him gay? It wasn’t unheard of. Parker had no intentions of coming to Grant’s defense now or in the future, but the truth of the matter was he wasn’t a bad guy. He seemed really nice, and he suffered a terrible blow today by his fellow officers. Deep down Parker felt sorry for him.

  The fact that he was sexy as all hell didn’t go unnoticed either. Parker knew he couldn’t act on any attraction for his partner. There were too many neon signs hanging over Grant’s head for Parker to consider admitting any desire he felt for his partner.

  “So you didn’t see anything suspicious?” Grant raised his voice as if trying to grab the attention of all the customers in the coffee shop.

  The owner shook his head and lowered his eyes. Parker could tell he felt embarrassed and probably nervous having the cops in there badgering them for information.

  “Well, if you hear the slightest bit of information regarding these women, you give me a call.” Grant handed the man a business card, took his coffee, and turned to leave.

  “Where’s mine?” Parker asked.

  Grant shrugged. “You want coffee, get it yourself.”

  Okay, so now he wanted to be a prick. This day couldn’t possibly get any worse, could it?

  As if on cue someone came running into the coffee shop.

  “Officers, there’s a body around the corner. Looks like it was just dumped there. Come quick.”

  Parker skipped the coffee and charged out the door following the guy. Grant quickly passed Parker and the guy running toward the heap lying on the ground. It was clear to see the victim was dead even from a distance.

  Grant came to a halt, reached down, and shook his head.

  He looked up at Parker. “He’s dead.”

  Yup, he could’ve determined that the minute he saw the guy. The question was how did he die, and who was he?

  Parker called for a coroner and pulled on some latex gloves. The quicker they searched the scene, the sooner they could get some answers.

  Nothing stood out as he glanced around the sidewalk. The victim was naked, and Parker wished there was something he could throw over him, at least partially. People were gathering to get a look at the dead guy. This was one part of the job Parker would never understand.

  “Back up,” Grant instructed. “This is a crime scene, and unless you’re related to the victim or have information about catching his killer, I suggest you move on.”

  “Yeah right,” he mumbled.

  “You got something to say, Parker?”

  “Dude, you know these people aren’t going anywhere. They can’t help but get a rush by seeing the dead guy.”

  “You can address me by Matteson or Grant, but don’t call me ‘dude.’”

  Parker took a step back and raised his hands defensively. “Sorry, Matteson. Didn’t mean to offend you.”

  “Respect, Parker. It’s all about respect.”

  Parker understood his sudden need for respect. They were at a crime scene, he’d been dissed by the department, and now he wanted someone to show him some respect in front of the onlookers. Parker would give him that. He deserved it. After the day he had, Parker would feel the same way.

  “So anyway, I’ll keep the rubberneckers at bay while you tend to the John Doe.” Parker walked away and urged the crowd to move back from the scene or they’d be arrested for tampering with evidence. He knew it wasn’t true, but at this point they needed as much room as they could get.

  “Shit,” Grant said behind him.

  “What’s wrong, Matteson?” Parker didn’t bother to look in his direction. He kept a close eye on a woman
who tried to slowly inch her way closer. Parker glared at her, daring her to take another step. He moved his right hand to his handcuffs. She backed away.

  “Seems he’s fallen victim to the same MO.”

  “As the women?” Parker didn’t hide his surprise. He thought the women were being killed by some woman hater, or someone with a mommy complex. He never dreamed a guy would fall victim.

  “That’d be my guess from the track marks on his arm.”

  “I’ll be damned.” This new evidence would make the case very interesting.

  “What do we have here?” Parker turned, surprised to see Stanley standing over the dead body. Ralph stood close behind. He could tell by the look on Grant’s face he was shocked too.

  They both knew the duo was assigned to the investigation as well; Parker just assumed Ralph would keep his distance, given the earlier encounter.

  “Another vic,” Grant said.

  Parker watched Grant, his heart going out to the guy. Grant struggled to keep his composure while he continued to check the body.

  “Parker and I have it. No need for you guys to be here.”

  “Sorry, Grant. Chief wants us to determine if this is the work of the serial killer.” Stanley nudged the dead guy with his foot. “What’s your thoughts?”

  “Is he gay?” Ralph asked.

  Bile rose to the base of Parker’s throat.

  Parker moved closer. “Look, guys. This is serious business. We need to stick to protocol, nothing more.”

  Ralph shot him an evil look, and Stanley shrugged.

  “I’m not looking for trouble, Parker. I’m looking for a killer,” Stanley said.

  Parker believed him. He thought he saw the fellow detective wince when Ralph asked the question. This wasn’t the time or place for causing trouble.

  He sized up his fellow officers. Stanley was a big, gruff man. His voice was rough from years of smoking, but he appeared in shape. Ralph, on the other hand, had a few extra pounds on him, but nothing a few days at the gym wouldn’t cure.