Secret Nanny Club

by Mackle, Marisa

  is a photo with her standing next to him!”

  “Oh my God, I feel sick!”

  “Tell me about it! I swear on my life, myself and Tina were livid. Then when I asked her about the film tickets that had gone missing she said she didn’t know what happened to them.”

  “Did Creea say anything to her?”

  Sally shrugged. “No, of course not. Creea doesn’t give a hoot about who gets to go to see what film. Now there’s a woman who thinks she’s carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders at the moment. And she’s right to be worried. There are too many women’s

  magazines in the current saturated market, all vying for the same advertisers. You wouldn’t believe the amount of companies that are reducing their advertising budgets, even the staples such as the cosmetics companies and the hair-care companies. This is serious. And we’re in competition with the internet now. People aren’t really interested in magazines anymore.”

  I knew she was telling the truth and, although I didn’t say it, I was worried too. What if I lost my job? Okay, I knew I was being paid a pittance and I had little security, but I had a baby to support now. Where would I go if I wasn’t here? Who else would allow me work half the week from home? Many employers were just not interested in mums with commitments. If I didn’t have Tanya at home right now holding the fort, I’d be in right trouble. I felt uneasy about my future. The fact that I was being made share a desk with a newbie was definitely not a good sign. It undermined my status at work and it would eventually erode my confidence. Would the next step be out the door for me? I didn’t even want to let my mind

  wander there.

  The afternoon dragged on and on and on. It seemed like any time I took a call or phoned somebody, Louise would whip out her mobile and start talking loudly as though she were trying to drown out my voice. It was extremely difficult trying to work in such close

  proximity to somebody else. It felt at times like she was practically sitting on my knee!

  I found myself looking at my watch a lot more than I should have. I never remembered doing that before when I was at work. And I even found myself looking at photos of John on my mobile phone at one stage. Seriously, was that pathetic or what? I missed John. I mean, I really did miss him way more than I thought I would. I wondered if he was missing me. Then I chided myself, telling myself not to be completely ridiculous. Of course he didn’t miss me. He was in the very capable hands of the lovely Tanya. She was like a second mummy to him almost.

  For a few self-pitying moments I found myself wondering why I was sitting beside a hostile stranger in a cramped office space, doing a job that paid peanuts, when another woman was in my home not having to put up with any office politics crap and playing bunnies and teddies with the person that I loved most in the world. I fought back a lone tear. I didn’t want to come across as pathetic. I wondered did all mums feel this bad going back to work or was it just me? Was I just a weakling? When the time came to go home that evening I practically ran all the way to the train station. I didn’t want to be a minute more away from my son than I had to be. There was a train parked in the station just as I came up the escalator. I rushed towards it, nearly catching myself in the sliding doors. Phew! I made it.

  As I sat on the train, looking out the window so as not to catch anybody’s eye, I wondered if I could do something else. Working as a part-time stylist was all very well for somebody in their twenties, living at home. Somebody like Louise, say. But was it really a proper job for a mummy who didn’t have every second night off to go and schmooze at fashion shows? Maybe I needed to rethink my priorities. I mean, just because I was a stylist now didn’t mean I had to remain one forever. Maybe I could still be a lab technician. Then again, maybe not. I had been caught by the fashion bug and I didn’t want to completely opt out now. Anyway, I wasn’t going to be pushed out by a youngster like Louise. I needed to get a grip. The sun was shining when I got off the train and I had a skip in my step as I walked along the road, looking forward to seeing my baba again. You’d have thought I hadn’t seen him in a month!

  I was feeling a lot more positive now. Why was I worrying about a teenager? She

  didn’t have half my experience and I had spent the last few years gathering an impressive amount of contacts in the fashion world. I knew I could produce great, imaginative shoots. I’d done it before and I’d do it again. Suddenly I spotted a very familiar figure walking towards me. She had a shopping bag in each hand and a child running along either side of her. She looked worn out and exhausted and far from her usual pristine itself. I nearly stopped dead in my tracks when I saw her, and for a fleeting moment wondered whether there was time to cross the road without being noticed. But then she looked up and stared straight at me. It was Joanne. And I had stolen her nanny!

  “Oh hi, Joanne!” I said breezily, hoping like hell that she would be in too much of a hurry to stop and chat.

  “Hello, Kaylah, how are you? Lovely day, isn’t it?”

  “Yes, it’s lovely to see a bit of sun, but there’s a strong wind.”

  “I suppose we should be thankful that it isn’t raining.”

  “Yes,” I agreed, feeling very uncomfortable indeed. Did she know? I mean, did she know that Tanya was living with me? And was it the end of the world if she did know? I mean, why was I mentally beating myself up about it? People switched jobs all the time. Samira left me to work for another family and I had got over it. After all, it wasn’t as though I had stolen Joanne’s husband or got her fired.

  “Are you doing much reading?” I asked.

  Books were a safe subject and reading was something we both had in common. In fact, it was probably the only thing I had in common with this other mother who was at least a decade older than myself and, according to Tanya, had never worked a day in her life. Her husband was a senior bank executive who made enough money to afford her a nice comfortable life without ever having to worry about little things such as electricity and food bills. Tanya had confided in me that Joanne’s life consisted of the book club, her Wednesday night bridge, her Thursday morning golf and the parent-teaching meetings at her children’s schools.

  “I’m not really reading much at the moment,” Joanne said with a sigh as her two boys hung out of her, pulling each arm. “It’s hard during the summer when the kids are off school. There really isn’t five minutes to yourself when they’re that age. It’s been a fairly hectic summer and, to top it all, our nanny walked out on us with no explanation. Didn’t even say good-bye.”

  There, she’d said it. I found myself frozen to the spot. Shit! I felt like I’d been just caught cheating in an exam by a teacher. I’m sure I went the colour of beetroot. My mind was racing. Hang on, I thought – no – it sounds as if she doesn’t actually know. What should I say? Should I just come clean? Confess all? Would she forgive me? Then again, would I forgive her for treating Tanya so badly? After all, Tanya and myself had become good friends now.

  We’d gone on holidays together and she was almost like a second mum to Baby John. I felt almost protective towards her. She had come to this country to improve her English and experience a new way of life. Joanne and her husband had more or less treated her like a slave. I opened my mouth. I knew I should say something but the first word was trapped somewhere halfway down my throat and I couldn’t get it out.

  “I . . . I know,” I managed at last.

  “Oh yes, I’m sure you know what it’s like. It must be so tough being a single mum. I don’t envy you.”

  So she definitely didn’t know.

  “How is your little girl anyway?”

  “I’ve a boy actually – John. He’s great.” Why did everyone ask me about a little girl? “I’m back to work now. In fact, today was my first day back.”

  “And how did it go?”

  “Oh fine, I . . .”

  “Comeon, Mum!” said one of the boys. Both her sons looked bored and sulky.

  “I’d better go,” Joanne smiled apologeticall
y. “They’ve been promised ice-cream and they’re holding me to it.”

  “Okay, well, I’ll see you at the next book-club meeting, I suppose?”

  “Yes, I’m not sure who’s hosting the next one but I’ll send a group text once the book and venue have been decided on.”

  I nodded my thanks. It felt like I was being scheduled in for a doctor’s appointment. I really was not looking forward to the next book-club meeting which was a shame because I used to really enjoy the get-togethers. I bade her a quick goodbye, feeling delighted that I had managed to escape unscathed. Maybe I should have had said something. Surely it would have been better to just say it out and get it over and done with. After all, Bray was not a huge town and we lived in fairly close proximity to each other. I was bound to bump into

  Joanne again on the street. Next time Tanya might be with me and that would be very awkward indeed. And, of course, there was the book club – surely it was bound to come out there? They were sure to ask me and I could hardly lie.

  I hurried along home towards the sanctuary of my little rented apartment. Soon I was there and putting my key in my front door. I could hear the happy sound of laughter from inside as I did so. My heart nearly melted. John sounded so happy and safe. His gentle chuckles were like music to my ears. I took off my coat and hung it up. Tanya had left the post neatly stacked on the sideboard. I quickly glanced at the small pile. Most of the envelopes were instantly recognisable and made my heart a little heavier. There was the credit-card bill, the waste-removal bill, a bank statement which would tell me exactly how little money I actually had to my name, a pink envelope which was surely from a PR company .inviting me to a fashion show, and a white, formal-looking envelope which clearly statedPrivate and Confidential. I didn’t like the look of that at all. I was about to open it when Tanya stepped into the hall with John in her arms. His face lit up when he saw me and it was enough to lift my spirits to the sky.

  I reached over and took him into my arms for a cuddle. He was so warm and soft and his hair smelled fresh and clean. He gurgled at me in delight. “Did he just have a bath?” I asked.

  Tanya grinned. “Yes, he had a wonderful bubble bath. He didn’t want to get out he was enjoying himself so much. We had a great day. I took him to Dún Laoghaire on the train. We had lunch in Café Costa above Easons and then went for a walk on the pier.”

  “Oh, thank you so much, Tanya. I do appreciate that you took him out in the fresh air. It’s important that he gets as much oxygen into his lungs as possible while we still have the weather. Once the hour changes and the evenings start getting darker there won’t be as much opportunity. How much do I owe you?”

  She stared at me blankly. “For what?”

  “For the café?” I said. “And the transport.”

  “No, no,” she insisted with a wave of her hand. “Not at all. We just had a muffin between us.”

  She refused to take anything from me. I made a mental note that I would have to provide her with a monthly bus and rail ticket so that she wouldn’t need to spend a fortune of her own money taking John to nice places. I was so glad that she wasn’t leaving him in his cot all day amusing himself, or plonked down for hours on end in front of the television.

  “How was the first day back in work?” she asked, sounding genuinely interested. Tanya had a way of asking questions that didn’t seem at all intrusive.

  “It was okay,” I said. “Just okay.”

  “Oh. That’s a little disappointing,” she said in an even voice.

  I sighed and slumped down on the sofa. I wanted to put my feet up and watchCome Dine WithMe. The thought of making dinner now was making me feel exhausted.

  “It was bound to be a bit of an anti-climax,” I admitted. “I’d prefer to work from home all the time to be honest. At least I wouldn’t have somebody hogging my desk here, which is what happened today. Hey, are there any pizzas in the freezer, Tanya? I’m just too tired to even think of starting to cook something now. If there’s no food, I’ll phone for a takeout.”

  “No need for that at all. The dinner has been made,” said Tanya. “It’s a vegetarian stew in a mild curry sauce and I think you’ll really like it. It’s healthy and full of nutrition. All I need to do now is boil the rice which won’t take long.”

  I was deeply impressed and oh so grateful. “Thank you so much, Tanya. You’re an absolute star.”

  “Wine?”

  “You know me too well. Do we have any?”

  “We do now! I bought a bottle of screw-top Chardonnay in O’Brien’s off-license. Of course if you’d prefer a nice cup of tea, that’s okay too . . .”

  “No, I’ll have the wine,” I said with a smile. “I need it to relax. It’s been quite a day. Thank you so much for thinking of me. You’re so sweet.”

  “No problem. I’ll put on the rice now and get John ready for bed as I’m waiting for it to cook. Do you need me to do anything else?”

  “Oh Lord no, you’ve done more than enough. Even the place is looking so clean. I’m a bit overwhelmed to be honest.”

  “You deserve a little Mummy Treat,” Tanya said, handing me the remote control. “I know you get up several times a night to tend to John and it must interfere terribly with your sleep. You should go to a hotel and have a good uninterrupted eight or nine hours’ sleep to recharge your batteries.”

  I once again had to refrain from pinching myself. How lucky was I to find this incredible girl!

  “I wish!” I laughed. “But as we’re just back from a sun holiday I can’t justify taking another break!’

  “But I am being serious. I know you were on holidays but you still had John and it’s not really a holiday with a baby. Maybe you could go on a little spa break somewhere just for the night? I sometimes see really good deals on the internet with discounts. You get even more of a discount if you go mid-week.”

  I started imagining myself relaxing in a warm whirlpool. Or lying in a darkened room on a fluffy white towel while somebody massaged all the tension out of my back and shoulders. I wished Tanya hadn’t put the idea in my head. I was sorely tempted to act on her suggestion.

  “Well, to be honest,” I said, “working in a magazine we often get the opportunity to stay in spa hotels for free as long as we give them a mention in the magazine. I’m sure my boss, Creea, wouldn’t mind if I asked her. But I’d feel bad about leaving John here. I’d have to take him with me.”

  “No, it wouldn’t be a rest if you had the baby. Try and get something and I’ll take care of John for the night. Go on, you deserve it.”

  “Okay, I’ll think about it. It does sound very tempting.”

  About fifteen minutes later I was halfway through my glass of wine and at the point ofCome Dine With Me where they all start giving each other marks out of ten when, in a cloud of expensive smelling perfume, in came Tanya looking like a supermodel, with John in her arms.

  He was wearing his littleIn the Night Gardensleep suit and he looked adorable. Tanya handed me the baby. I looked in awe at her slim enviable figure. Not many people I know could get away with tight leather trousers and a crisp tight-fitting shirt. Around Tanya’s neck was a loosely-tied Fendi scarf, and her hair framed her pretty face.

  “You look sensational,” I exclaimed. “Are you heading out somewhere nice?”

  “Yes, I am having dinner in town. I’m really looking forward to it.”

  “Lucky you. I hope you have a great time. Where are you going?”

  Tanya shrugged. “I don’t know. It’s so long ago since I’ve been out to dinner. Well, say you could dine in any restaurant in Dublin, which one would it be?”

  I frowned, casting my mind back. I wasn’t a huge foodie but a couple of restaurants that I’d eaten in over the past few years had been particular memorable.

  “Just thinking about that question is making my mouth water,” I admitted as I cradled John in my arms. “I like L’Ecrivain in Baggot Street and on the north side of the city you have Chapter One which has won
many awards.”

  “Should I try one of them?”

  “Oh, no,” I said, taking a sharp intake of breath. “I mean, they are great restaurants but it costs a good bit of money to eat in places like that. I would only go somewhere like that on my birthday or something. Are you meeting the girls from the Secret Nanny Club? I think Milano’s might be a good spot? Good food at reasonable prices . . .”

  “Not tonight. I’m going on a date so the price of the food is irrelevant.”

  My eyes nearly popped out of my head. “A date?”

  “Yes,” Tanya nodded. “He told me we could go wherever I liked so I wanted to choose the top restaurant in town.”

  “Well, if money is no object . . .”

  “It isn’t.” Her answer was abrupt but not particularly rude.

  “Then I would recommend trying out Patrick Guilbaud’s which is a very fancy and renowned French restaurant in the Merrion Hotel. I remember going for a business lunch there when one of the magazine’s main advertisers treated us. It has two Michelin stars, the

  highest out of any restaurant in Ireland. You would love it.”

  “Great, we might as well go there then,” Tanya said simply. “Thanks for the recommendation. I’d better get my coat.”

  “Yes, it’s kind of nippy out there and rain is forecast tonight so don’t forget your umbrella in case you’re waiting around in the rain.”

  “It’s okay. I have a lift into town.”

  “Oh, you do? Oh. Right, well that’s okay then. Have a great time so. I can’t wait to hear all about it in the morning. Goodnight.”

  A few minutes later I heard a horn toot outside. Then I heard Tanya’s footsteps in the hall, followed by the Noise of the front door shutting. The curiosity was killing me and I was dying to look outside but didn’t want to be caught prying. Well, wasn’t Tanya the dark horse? Michelin-star restaurant, no less? In a way I was envious of her. It had been an awfully long time since I had been taken anywhere on a date.