Her smile widened and a laugh slipped from her lips. “You noticed.”
“I noticed.” I tilted my head toward the dance floor, where couples were flowing around us.
“Dance?”
“Love to.”
We reached the middle of the floor. I pulled her in gently, her body relaxed in my arms as her floral scent engulfed me. Something settled in her eyes. It was a sadness I wanted to figure out and fix. I wanted to read her mind, but I was left with only speculation.
I fought the urge to touch her beyond the dance hold. I tried to focus on this very moment. But, it wasn’t long before those familiar feelings began drumming in my heart rushing in causing me to break eye contact, she tempted me even if she didn’t intend to.
“I think you’re leading, or trying to,” I teased.
“Then, by all means, take control.”
Warmth spread through me. The feel of her body in close proximity was intoxicating, a rare opportunity to touch her. The always present underlying attraction between us, a festering pull just beneath the surface. We had denied it, but it was still there. I was going insane, the notion of her and a happier life just out of my reach.
“I’m starving,” she whispers. “If they don’t serve dinner soon, I’m on my way to Mickey-D’s.”
“Heaven forbid. Let’s find our table.”
Once seated, we captured the waiter and ask when dinner would be served.
“Soon, sir. Approximately ten minutes, fifteen tops.”
“I have time for the ladies’ room, please excuse me.”
A soon as she stood, I watched the men around her as she walked through the crowd. She drew interest, totally unaware of her effect. Her phone lit up as it sat on the table. It was on vibrate, but I clearly saw the name on the screen: Steel.
I didn’t want to imagine them together, yet the scenario played out in my mind in piece by piece.
That night would be etched in my mind forever. Jordan in Steel’s arms. He’d been her savior when her life was in jeopardy. And after his heroic rescue, she wanted him. I could see it, feel it. Their connection was electric. I couldn’t bear the thought of losing her. Not now, not so close to knowing the truth.
I was suddenly filled with so much frustration. Steel and Jordan. What was the nature of their relationship? Jordan was much to innocent for a man like that. Steel was dark, dangerous and had a hard edge the closer you looked. Was that what she found appealing? The bad boy?
Jealously shot through me as rage ran cold in my veins. The reality hit me like a punch in the gut. She could fuck anyone she wanted; she wasn’t mine. Realizing that cracked my heart in two.
She returned shortly, checked her phone, and saw the missed call, but didn’t respond. She didn’t mention my prolonged silence. I knew I had no right to be jealous, and that was putting it mildly. I’d been known to take interest in other women temporarily, to take the edge off. My ability to fuck and then leave them unscathed had nothing to do with them, but everything to do with me. I didn’t want any attachments, because my heart was elsewhere.
We didn’t speak during dinner, and I was curious as to why. I knew my reasons, of course but what were hers? We drank our coffee as the party was dying down. The familiar numbness had started to take hold inside me. I didn’t want to be there, hidden, closed off. Not after the taste of freedom. It was much too sweet to go back now, just the thought of it, left me cold. Nevertheless, I would swallow these feelings, until word came. These next few days would be pure hell.
“I’m ready when you are,” she said.
“Let’s go then.”
Under the pretense, everything was just fine, but the ride home was not. I glanced across the back seat at her several times, keenly aware of her growing distance.
The dark fascination I had for this beautiful woman was a disturbing mix of frustration and desire. The silence lingered thick in the air as images of her and another name tasted of poison in my veins. But she was elsewhere, as she stared out the passenger window.
“What is it?”
I knew not to ask, but I couldn’t help myself.
“Nothing.”
And it occurred to me that I might have lost her already. I desperately needed the DNA results, but the bigger problem was moving in, Steel Archer.
Surprised by my priorities, I had texted Jordan last night that something urgent had come up, but that I still wanted to see her and spend time with her. It was out of character and completely unlike me.
“That’s fine,” she had answered. But her words felt empty. I got the distinct impression that it was, just that. Fine.
“Morning,” I said to Flynn flanking my side, handing me a cup of black coffee, willing myself forward. “Everything set up?”
“Yes, sir.”
I knew what I would find once I arrived. My men all searching for answers, answers from me. Their spirit broken, their reactions filled with fury—and justifiably so.
After the news last night, followed by the visions of that brutal scene, my brain had refused to stop the instant replay. As the rage built, I resisted the maddening urge to punch the wall. Finding it difficult to think clearly over the clamor in my head, I forced myself to focus and stop the darkness swirling inside me. Finally, slowly, it began to recede.
“If everyone is ready to begin?”
I waited for the room to quiet as Flynn took my side.
“Travis, our brother, we all feel the loss deeply. He’s to be remembered as a fallen hero, in every sense of the word. To forever lay to rest in peace. Never forgotten, always remembered. We will honor him as his memory lives on.”
We all swallowed the anger and rage, as we had been taught to do. I wiped my brow, feeling the venom vibrating just beneath the surface. I was prepared to destroy, to slaughter anything in my path towards revenge.
“We’re trained to see things objectively. To rely on instinct, to be on guard every second. We’re trained to sense danger lurking behind every corner, and the strategies we’ve perfected are on high alert, but starting today a new level will emerge.”
I kept my expression neutral, void of any real emotion. I ignored the unwanted memories fighting their way to the surface. Still, they propelled me back to what had led me here today.
“Now we have to face the dark realities of our trade. We all entered into this profession well aware of the risk. We had to prepare ourselves for the hidden dangers, of what’s to come. Until we have answers, we lead on the defensive side, so prepare for battle.”
I scrubbed my hand over my face, trying to erase the violent reel spinning over and over in my mind. It seeped through the cracks, only to stir a nasty combination of revenge and retribution.
I leaned my elbows on the podium and held each man’s gaze, as if speaking to them individually. I decided to take a slightly calmer approach.
“Men, we will proceed with the investigation. Travis was our brother, and he will always be our brother. But for the sake of our sanity, within this particular investigation, each of us will have to detach emotionally. I don’t need to remind you that we are looking at the victim for the sole purpose of gathering information. We need to develop leads using a keen eye. Avoid seeing the man, at least for now.”
Flynn clicked on his laptop, and the picture blasted to life, causing all the men in the room to buzz in anger.
“Neck wound. What else do you see?” I asked.
Although I was prepared on paper, my gut felt the sharp pain as it had slithered through Travis.
“The attack happened in the elevator, and his cart is not disturbed,” one man pointed out.
“It looks like the attack came from behind,” another man observed. “The victim would have been facing the doors prior to opening. The question is, how did the killer get the upper hand? It looks like he had the element of surprise.”
“The blood pool suggests it all happened in that elevator, but where’s the surveillance?” another man asks.
The
n Flynn stepped up. “I personally viewed every piece of footage of the camera feed, from every possible angle. There’s no cameras in the basement, and only certain employees had access. The killer had to know this.”
“I wouldn’t rule out a professional hit. It would take a lot to bring this man down,” another man pointed out.
I could sense that everyone quietly agreed with this assessment.
“Flynn, next one.”
Instantly, Travis’s chest is bared. The groans are heard amongst the room, but my men stay focused when they clearly saw the number one carved into his chest.
“Post postpartum?” someone asks. “There’s not much blood from the chest wound, compared to the neck.”
“Sick motherfucker.”
Sean a team leader, asks, “Who was the last civilian to see him alive? Do we know?”
“He was on the second floor, moving office to office,” I answered. “According to several workers, people tend to ignore maintenance workers, and we were lucky to have several eye witnesses.”
“Why was he down there? Weren’t the cleaning supplies kept in a closet located on each floor, for convenience?”
“Good question, Sean. We need to figure that out.”
“What if he was on to something? Would his earpiece reach Flynn from the basement?”
Bradley, the third man in operation and our computer expert, stood up. “He should have. We were all secured I tested each ear piece personally, and the frequencies checked out. But until we have an opportunity to reenact the exact locations, I can’t say for certain until we get back in.”
“I have more evidence for review, so please look it over, and after homicide gives us the go ahead to step back in,” I added. “We’ll have access to the autopsy and DNA findings, but not much else. The rest will be up to us.”
“Now the grunt work begins,” Flynn instructs the men. “All the details are included in your packet, so I’ll leave you all to do your job.” As I turn the podium over to Flynn, he was more than capable of taking it from here.
“Men.” He began. “The new operation is moving forward as planned. You’ve been briefed, you have your assignments, all men are in position to carry out their duties with the utmost efficiencies. Check-in time is in two-hour increments—no exceptions. I want each and every man here safe.” Flynn stated then I left the room and made my way down the corridor to my office.
Once back inside, I glanced at my phone, the tiny red-light blinking. A small flicker of anticipation rose in me when I saw it was from Jordan. Unable to resist the distraction, I replied quickly, and she got back to me immediately.
Hard day?
Very
Just come over, I’ll order in. 6:00?
Be there.
Need address?
No. Got it.
Interesting
At least my evening was looking up. Now I had to touch base with Mr. Carlson, about Whiskey.
“Don’t worry, Steel, he’ll be fine. I’ll keep him overnight just in case, you know.”
He chuckled, followed by a long, drawn-out cough, but I humored him.
“One can only hope. So, you’ll be home tonight?”
“No, Steel. I run the bingo balls at the church tonight.”
“Bingo balls? You sure that’s the name? Because if it is, it needs some work. You do realize that you have more of a social life than I do?”
“Don’t take life too seriously Steel.”
“I hear ya’ have fun and thank you.”
I spent the rest of the day on my computer, seemingly more distracted than usual, fighting the urge to go over Travis’ case for the umpteenth time.
But I refused to allow it to take over my entire day. I left at four o’clock, making a few stops. Once home, I had plenty of time to shower.
My thoughts shifted to Jordan as I stood beneath the hot spray of water. The shower filled with steam, as well as my desire.
Time was flying by quickly. I didn’t do “late.” I dressed casually, in faded jeans and a gray cashmere with a white undershirt beneath. Then I slipped on a pair of dark boots, A spray of cologne, and I was out the door.
I typed her address into my phone’s navigation and picked up speed once I hit the long stretch of highway. A stupid smile planted on my face, the truth was crystal clear: Jordan brought everything else to a stop. Because of that, I was able to compartmentalize the actions of the last twenty-four hours and concentrate on tonight—and the woman I was beginning to know.
When I reached her quaint subdivision, it was not what I had pictured. I’d imagined a sleek condominium, or an apartment with steel and glass.
As far as the eye could see, there were rows lined with small, older homes. Yet they were well-kept, with vast green lawns and trees standing tall and proud. The sidewalks were busy as mothers pushed their baby carriages, and children were playing in front yards. There were dogs barking, and older couples swayed together as they sat on their front porch swings.
I reached her cottage-style house just in time, my heart thumping. I was pleasantly surprised by the charming, quaint home, and the welcome sign aged by years of exposure secured to the siding by the door.
The sun was just peeking over the horizon as I rang the doorbell, and a calm settled over me. Then the door swung open, and I was greeted by Jordan’s glowing face, her bright eyes excited and filled with energy.
“Steel, come on in.” She took off for the kitchen. “I don’t want it to burn.”
Whatever the reason, I was compelled to follow her. She was pulling a lasagna out of the oven.
“Did you make that?”
“You looked surprised.”
Her hands were planted firmly on her hips.
“Because I am,” I scoffed.
“It needs to cool off.” Her smile was contagious as her gaze landed squarely on mine.
“It’s not the only thing that needs cooling off.” I said.
She smiled uncomfortably and reached for a Heineken.
“Here, this should help.”
“Doubt it.”
“Follow me. Are you hungry?”
“Starving.”
Gesturing for me to follow, we chatted as I helped her set the table.
“I thought we were doing takeout?”
“I changed my mind.” She paused, holding the silverware. “Tonight feels…like a new start.”
“Yes, it does.”
I allowed the air to move through my lungs at an even pace, but it had become a physical effort now. I was going for a cool casual vibe, and remaining calm was the only way this evening would go as planned. More to the point, I didn’t want to scare her off.
Her angelic white summer dress floated around her as she moved, the sweet cotton pressed against her upper body. Her soft shiny hair glimmered as the sunlight peering from the window reaches to touch her wavy locks.
She was definitely a breath of fresh air. Her unique candidness ripped through me, tearing down barriers built to withstand hurricane-strength walls. But with only a whisper, they shattered. Her gentle affection was given so openly, so purely, that my unsuspecting heart had been snatched before I’d realized it was gone.
She had seen the worst of me, and she knew my true nature. Yet she was still drawn to me. She brought out something in me that I didn’t even recognize. I was suddenly full of playfulness and laughter.
I didn’t recognize this man in me.
She set the steaming-hot casserole dish between us, as candles flickered golden and warm splattered around the table. She was drinking water again as I drank another Heineken while she served.
I took a moment to appreciate her efforts. I didn’t want to hold anything back with her. If she asked, I’d spill all my secrets willingly. She was making me long for something I never thought was possible. A future.
“Looks delicious.”
“You may want to try it first,” she smiled, revealing the beautiful way about her.
After my first
bite, I was convinced.
“Oh, this is amazing.”
Her angel-like appearance, her inviting presence, and her humor melted the frozen parts in my heart.
Yet the question lingered in my mind. Could I live in both worlds and fully exist equally? I had never believed I could. But now, I wasn’t so sure. The answer would only come by trying, but giving myself this opportunity was risky, for both of us.
I was a mess of contradictions.
“Thank you, it was my mother’s recipe. This was her house, and when I lost her, I moved back in.”
“I see the appeal.”
It suited her in every way. Dinner went well, and we shared more than I had ever felt comfortable revealing. She didn’t run me off, and I didn’t scare her away. We talked about everyday things, like our favorite foods and movies, as well as our family and friends.
Then we moved to the living room and settled ourselves in comfortably. It was like I belonged here, or I wanted to belong. My heart pounded at the realization, but I tucked it safely away for now.
“He did not,” she said.
“Yes, he did.”
“No, Gunther never dated Rachel.”
“I think he did. You’re saying that he just held a torch for her for ten years? That’s impossible.”
“You’re wrong. They were never a couple. I’ve watched every single Friends episode at least five times each.”
“Okay, okay, you win. Poor, pathetic Gunther.”
“I have so much to teach you.”
She shook her head in amusement as she gathered the dishes. I helped load them, very aware of how domestic this all felt.
Then we lounged casually on her couch, her knee tucked underneath her. She was facing me, and I breathed in her delicate floral scent. It was hypnotic. The need to pull her closer was powerful, but I controlled myself and kept some distance.
“You mentioned you enjoyed reading.”
“Yes. I can’t believe you remembered that! It’s my downshift to sleep. I read almost every night.”
I reached for the white bag sitting on the floor by the couch, just where I had placed it when I arrived. Then I causally handed it to her.
Surviving Jordon Page 4
