“What’s this?”
The spark in her eyes felt much more personal than I had anticipated.
“A simple thank you.”
She opened the bag and pulled out a hardcover book.
“Two by Two by Nicholas Sparks. This is his new release. Steel, thank you!” Slipping her hand underneath mine, our fingers joined, and we both watched the transformation. Her skin was pale and soft; mine was dark and rough. “I’ll start tonight, and think of you.”
You do that.
I drew my eyes back to hers, and my gaze fell to her full mouth. I remembered that mouth very clearly. And now I wanted to possess it. I wanted to taste her soft lips and couldn’t postpone it one second longer. I leaned in slowly, and she met me halfway, permission granted.
It was a mixture of sweet and sexy, her lips pressed against mine. I ran my tongue over her bottom lip, and she opened her mouth, accepting me. I tilted just enough to take more of her. The warm, sweltering feelings easily turned to arousal as I felt my walls come tumbling down. Ignoring my gut, to move slowly.
One greedy hand rested on her bare leg, which was long and lean, and I drew circles on her thigh. The feel of her bare skin, was soft and silky.
I was a man who fucked. I didn’t know about seduction, or romance—only need. I certainly didn’t know how far to go and taking her to bed was not on my agenda. I knew the kind of woman Jordan was, and she was certainly not like the women I’ve known.
Of course, it was tempting to claim her, to make her mine and ease the hunger consuming me. But something stronger emerged. A feeling she was trying to hide, was I the rebound guy? And if so, was I okay with that?
I wanted more than just her body. I would require her entire soul, was it hers to give? The heartbeat under my chest was racing, my body burning for her—for all of her. I desperately wanted to satisfy my need to be hers.
How could I accomplish that when doubt hung just under the surface? My need didn’t seem to care either way. It only intensified. Somehow, I managed to fight the urge raging through me, my body still craving what I couldn’t have.
“Steel.”
She whispered my name, drawing it out slowly.
I inhaled a sharp breath as the waves crashed into me with such intensity it felt as if the lighthouse had called its ship home. But it wasn’t calling me home, she closed her eyes and turned away.
“I can’t bring myself to move forward, to seek out more unless I’m completely honest with you.”
“Okay, be honest with me.”
“I’ve held a torch for someone who doesn’t replicate those feelings, I want to be free from these chains, I want a new start. Only I can’t promise you that I’m capable of letting go.”
I didn’t recognize this side of me. This surprising gentleness, hidden behind the strong, fearless man, it’s all foreign to me. “But you want to?”
“I want to try.”
Something inside of me immediately shifted. The possibilities of a new chapter and a new life sprouted in my heart. Although complicated, I was willing to overcome the obstacles.
“I want you to know because of my chosen profession a relationship with me comes with unforeseen complications, as well.”
How could I explain it without scaring her off? There was no way to sugarcoat it. As long as she was with me, there would always be an unknown factor, and she might not be able to handle my baggage. That worried me.
“Par for the course,” she whispered.
A smile pulled at my lips, and I was unable to hold it back. An unfamiliar feeling warmed me. It was hope.
She nestled into the nook under my arm.
“So, friends?”
“Yes, to start.”
It was pitch black when I began to leave. I couldn’t break away, compelled to stay. I wanted to give her everything, every part of me, hers to keep. One kiss…
Would I fight these new feelings she stirred in me? Could I actually find a balance between the two? My fear would be to fail at both. My dedication to the team required 100 percent focus. Where did that leave Jordan? Didn’t she deserve the same? Or did she want the same, I wasn’t sure just yet.
Driving up toward the mountains, my thoughts returned to Travis, retracing the case in my mind. I imagined his last moments: what he felt, what he saw, when he knew it was all over. Images of a cold dark night propelled me back to my own battles. I’d been through wars and fought at the enemy’s line. Yes, men were lost in combat, but that was expected. This however, wasn’t. I never thought it would be one of my own men, one of my team that I’d lose, not like this.
My mind was swirling with unanswered questions, I activated my SUV’s phone feature and said, “Call Flynn.”
He answered on the first ring.
“Sir?”
“I know it’s late, but I was curious if there were any new updates?”
“In fact, yes, a small finding. I intended to share it with you in the morning. I revisited the video surveillance, frame by frame, and there’s a moment prior to Travis entering the elevators where one of the other four elevators is used by a second maintenance man. He’s dressed identically to Travis in the standard uniform, pushing an identical cleaning cart.”
“We need to confirm who that second man was. I think you’re on to something. That doesn’t feel right to me. They work in shifts, not teams.”
An eerie sensation clawed at me, as if I were missing a crucial element directly linked to the personal nature of the crime. It was something I couldn’t name, but my gut clenched all the same.
“A simple phone call will answer that question. I plan on doing that first thing in the morning. That about covers it, sir.”
“Thank you.”
But I had to consider whether the answer we were looking for would involve Morton Software, the company that had hired us. I’d address that in our morning meeting. Right now, all I wanted was to get home.
I took my place behind the large mahogany desk, the corner office surrounded by glass and the rich woods that bordered the walls.
Then I called Janet.
“Is Ben in yet?”
“Yes, Miss Mitchelle.”
She summoned him to my office, and within ten minutes, he appeared in my doorway.
“Good morning, Ben.”
His dark suit melted on his body, his slightly wavy brown hair slicked back, leaving it to look wet. I wondered if there would ever be a time when I didn’t see him—the man—first.
“What’s going on?”
He casually entered and took a seat across from me, his ankle resting on his opposing knee.
“Just tying up loose ends.” I lifted my coffee, gently blowing on it before I sipped. “I’m taking Friday off, for a long weekend getaway, and I just wanted you to know, in case anything cones up.
“Oh.” He held my gaze for what felt like an eternity. His green mossy eyes betrayed his hard-outer shell, and his curious nature got the best of him. “With who?”
Blunt and to the point as ever.
“A friend.”
“That’s not an answer.”
I ignored the comment and turned to work issues.
“I heard we had some trouble with the Las Vegas property? It sounds like zoning issues, and it’s practically in our backyard. Don’t we know the zoning commissioner? Can you pull some strings?” I ask.
“Hard to say. The Star Group owned it and sold it to us with the option to go commercial or residential. Now we’re buried in red tape. It may require a one-on-one meeting with them.”
“Fine. I’m glad you’re on it.”
Dismissing him was an unusual occurrence, and his face turned serious, as if he wanted to say something, or ask something. I watched as wariness crossed his face. The man was a walking contradiction.
“Okay.” He stood, tugging on his suit jacket, ensuring it was in its proper place. “I’ll keep you updated.”
I replied with a casual nod, subliminally urging him to leave.
He glanced over his shoulder as he left, and I knew something was off. I felt it. He had displayed an unfamiliar vibe all week that I hardly recognized. I didn’t have all day to analyze Ben’s moodiness, and God only knew how many years I’d wasted doing just that. The sudden realization that we were strangers really, worlds apart. Ten years of rejection burns in the heart every day. Enough, I decided.
I texted Steel instead.
Good morning,
I have an opportunity to spend the weekend with my girlfriend. It’s unexpected, but I’ll be home Sunday.
His reply arrived instantly.
Sounds like fun. Good timing—work is busy. Can I see you Sunday?
Now, that is how it’s done. But, I begin to wonder if I’ll ever be free to love again, love anyone but the one man who would never be mine.
Sure, just let me know if it’s your house or mine.
My house. You can meet Whiskey. Looking forward to it. Xxx
“Good morning, sleepyhead.”
Jules had been my best friend for years. We met in high school, clicked, and were glued at the hip, ever since. She was incredibly fun, extremely unpredictable and exceedingly dangerous at times. If I ever got into trouble, it was usually Jules’s idea. She was wild an adventurous, and I usually got swept up in her antics. Nancy Drew and her capers.
We attended different colleges. I was fortunate for my mother’s little nest egg and the mystery money, from who knows where, and left for Harvard. Jules attended medical school and became an RN.
Our past was riddled with incidents that required vows sworn in secrecy. We had made pledges in blood, tales never to see the light of day. She was the one person I trusted with everything. I reached for my phone and dialed.
“I’m awake, Jordan. I worked the evening shift at the hospital last night, not the over-night shift. Thank God.”
“I have a once-in-a-lifetime offer: an all-expenses paid trip to Lake Tahoe. Sun, sand, men, mountains, drinks, and great food. Did I mention men?”
“How many rooms?” Jules asked.
“You can’t share a room with me? It’s not as if I’ll be groping you in the middle of the night.”
“Oh, I plan on sharing a room—just not with you.”
“Got it, two rooms it is.”
“The plan: pack for all the adventures I instructed. And I’ll pick you up Friday morning, early.”
“Sounds great. How early?”
“Six a.m.,” I said with a slight cringe, anticipating a complaint. I heard the long moan, the word no muffled by the pillow. “Man up, or I’ll make it five.”
“Fine.” The word was drawn out as dramatically as possible, but she finally caved. Jules had a special quality that allowed me to embark on my childhood escapades and be free of adult responsibilities. With her, I could let my guard down and have fun. She’s been like family to me, more like a sister. Being an only child raised by a single parent had its challenges. I would have loved a sibling or two, but it just wasn’t meant to be.
It certainly would have helped when my mom got sick, and even more when I lost her. I had a handful of friends, and practically no family on my mother’s side. Not to mention a missing father my mother never spoke of. I had pushed her for information all my life, but she never relented. I finally gave up. Anyone who chose not to be in my life wasn’t worthy of my love anyway.
As promised, I was knocking on her door at five fifty-eight. She opened it with a scowl.
“I better get laid” were her first words.
She turned as I followed her in, and I wasn’t spared the view of her ass sporting the words “Enjoying the view?”
“You wearing that?” I asked.
I noticed her eyebrow rising, daring me to protest.
“And a good morning to you, too, sunshine.”
I scanned the room for her suitcases, but there was none to be found.
“Where’s your shit?”
She pointed to a heap of crap in the corner.
“Seriously?”
I got a shoulder shrug in return, so I made my way to her kitchen. She watched as I ripped two trash bags from the roll and proceeded to stuff everything in them.
“Classy.” I say. “You should be able to snag a rich one when you check in.”
I held up her two trash bags of luggage. Inside, I was laughing historically. I handed over the two bags, the lumps swinging back and forth. At least she was moving. I grabbed her purse and hung it over her head.
“Phone?”
“Check.”
“Charger?”
“Check.”
“Condoms?”
She tilted her head slightly to the left and looked at me as if I was stupid.
I grabbed her, dragging her through the door, and locking it on my way out. I jiggled the handle, confirming it was securely locked. When I clicked my car fob, the hatch opened. I watched her throw her bags in, keeping her purse with her as she joined me in the front.
“This trip, we are going to get crazy,” I encouraged her. “I have tons of things planned.”
Her head jerked towards mine.
“Jules, I know what you’re thinking, but there’ll be plenty of beach time, drinks, and fun in the sun. Don’t worry.”
“And what, pray tell, is your idea of crazy?”
“I don’t want to spoil the surprise.”
“That’s code for I’m fucked.”
“No, no, not fucked. I can tell you this: We are going to the bar for dinner and drinks tonight, starting the trip off right.”
“That does sound fun. Did you pack my new white summer dress?”
No idea
“Yes.”
The two-hour drive was a breeze, allowing my grumpy best friend to sleep the entire time, but I knew I’d reap the benefits later.
We checked in and found our adjoining rooms. Once inside, I opened my door and knocked on hers. She opened it with a bright smile.
“I can’t find my white dress!”
I glanced over at the two empty trash bags dumped on the floor.
“Find something else. You look great in anything.”
And she did. I called her Summer Barbie. She was all legs and boobs, her long blonde hair and big blue eyes causing men to commit insane acts—all with the wave of her hand. I once watched a guy drink eight shots of apple cider vinegar—the equivalent of battery acid—in a contest with Jules, who filled her shot glass with tequila. It was messed up.
I dressed quickly in a colorful maxi dress with spaghetti straps. My hair had a will of its own, long waves a mix of ginger and sun-kissed blonde framing my face. I peeked in Jules’s room, and as expected, Summer Barbie appeared in her white dress.
“Ready?” she asked.
Luckily, we arrived in time for dinner.
“Eat at the bar or…”
“The bar.”
Jules claimed the two open seats between a row of men. We ordered drinks and dinner. I rarely drank, so I had learned along the way that food was essential when mixed with alcohol. I proceeded to eat all my seafood delight. I even stuck my fork in Jules’s fried shrimp, eating a couple of hers which were just sitting there.
“Jules, eat something,” I said, with my mouth full of shrimp.
She took one shrimp and popped it in her mouth.
Then shots were ordered, drinks were bought, men were swarming, toast were made, and “bottoms up” was heard more times than I could count. This would not end well.
Now it was after ten, and I noticed my bestie was several degrees past comfortably numb. Sitting on the bar stool in front of her were a stack of napkins, all containing men’s numbers. I had several, too, but I would be trashing mine.
I lift the first one.
“Noah!”
I yelled his name out, and he raised his hand, as if in school.
“Here, hold this. No, right on your chest. That’s good. Now smile!”
I clicked the camera on my phone. Then I yelled, “Liam!”
, repeating the process until all the napkins were gone.
“Jules, hey.”
I waved my hand in front of her pretty face.
“There you are. Drunk test. Ready?”
“Uh-huh.”
“Quick. Was Mickey Mouse a dog or a cat?”
“A dog!” she yelled out. “No, wait… That’s not funny; that’s mean.”
“You fail.”
Wasted wench.
“No one serve this girl. She’s cut off. Jules, take this pen.”
She’s shaking her head no, confusion swirling in her brain.
“Take it.”
Reluctantly, she holds the pen.
“Now write on this napkin: I, Jules.”
Watching her scribble the six letters, she was a hot mess.
I was slightly buzzed myself, and the laughter spilled out as I watched Jules sway and slur.
“I Jules, promise Jordan that no matter how bad my hangover is, I’ll still go hiking with her tomorrow.”
I couldn’t make out part of it, but it would suffice once the sun broke tomorrow. Then I grabbed her arm, placed over my shoulder and we slithered back to our rooms.
I awoke to my alarm, around seven. I knew it was too early for Barbie, so I showered and organized both of our backpacks. Then I wandered over to Jules’s room, opening the heavy darkening drapes using the handy white stick hanging from them. I gave them each a hearty yank. I had an idea how this was going to go, so I came in prepared.
“Jules, sit up and take these.”
“Huh?”
Surprisingly, she does. So far, so good. Holding two Advils and a cold bottle of water, she took them from my palm, and I watched her gulping the water.
“Not too much. It might make you sick. Thick tongue, huh?”
I got the ole stink eye.
“Here, change into this outfit, and I’ll be back in a few.”
I handed her the Nike dri-wick top and shorts.
“Coffee?” I offered, and she moaned yes.
“I’m not sure I’m feeling…”
She fell over sideways onto the bed, her arm flung over her eyes.
“I know, but look. No unwanted hookups.”
Surviving Jordon Page 5
