She takes a peek.
“That’s true.”
“And then there’s this.”
I hold the napkin, only inches from her face.
“What is it?”
“Your pledge of honor.”
“I pledged? Fuck.”
The potent stream of sunlight beamed down with stinging rays as Jules held her hand over her brow, shielding the sun as she peered up at the mountain’s peak.
“How the hell is that even humanly possible?”
“Switch backs,” I answered as I slipped her pack over her shoulders. “I’ve wanted to see Lake Tahoe from this viewpoint for years.”
“Maybe it’s a sign.”
She pointed to the clouds.
“No, sorry, those clouds are technically called lenticular, a formation due to strong winds, when the atmosphere contains enough moisture. It’s particularly common in this region. Nice try, though.”
“Your fearlessness is disgusting.”
I only smiled, and held out my hand.
“Coming?”
“Notice my lack of enthusiasm?”
We reached the trail head and signed in.
“Oh, is this if someone needs to claim our bodies?”
“You’re correct.” I glanced back at my lagging friend when we reached the first checkpoint. “I have a surprise for you once we reach the next point.”
“You’re relentless.”
But she caught up in record time. I stopped on the trail to take a few pictures, allowing eager hikers to pass us by. The climb was a challenge. For Jules, most likely a super-human challenge, especially after last night’s festivities.
“I forgot you enjoyed all this outdoor stuff, but I need a break.”
Finding a huge bolder, she lay flat as her legs and arms dangled off the sides.
I snapped a picture, then climbed on the rock and lay beside her.
“Selfie?”
I get a snarky, pissed-off look in return.
“I’ll post it on Facebook, right this second.”
“You’re heckling me?”
“More like mocking,” I answered. “Would you like your first surprise?”
She shrugged, indifference clearly evident on her face. I don’t know why I act like a twelve-year-old around her, or maybe that’s why I like her: she fills a void, underneath all the self-control, I needed to be that kid again.
“Drumroll, please. Here we have bachelor number one.”
I held my phone, pushing the screen into her face.
“Let me see, let me see.” She held it, then enlarged it to read the napkin. “Noah.”
Our eyes met.
“From last night?”
She stood and twirled and laughed—hangover cure of the century.
“I told you I’d help you get laid.”
“Maybe I should call this Noah guy?”
“Now? We are not turning around so you can have sex. I suggest you better start climbing.”
“Ruthless.”
“On the plus side, tomorrow is beach day.”
“Thank fuck.”
“You gonna’ make it?” I asked, grinning. “I brought hiking sticks if you want to try them.”
I stopped and got all four out, adjusting them to the perfect height. And then started back up.
“Wow, these really help.”
We hiked another hour without one complaint.
“Reward time. Bachelor number two?”
Her eyes sparkled as we sat on a fallen log, but she was distracted by what was laying on the ground.
“Look at the size of this pine cone.” Jules picked it up in wonder. It had to be eighteen inches long, and as round as a football.
“Nature at its best.” I knew she would come around. “Just wait, the top will be well worth it. And here he is number two.”
I deliberately kept it from her a second too long.
“Just do it already!” She looked closely at it. “Oh, Liam, I do recall a moment with you.”
“Mason and Ethan are next.”
She flipped the pictures back and forth, deciding their fate. Tonight, my friend would be on the prowl. I got it, I got her.
“We’re approaching the last ridge. Come on.”
And fifteen minutes later, we held hands standing at the peak.
The entire national landmark offered a brilliant panoramic view of mountaintops covered by snowy peaks. There were waterfalls as high as the tallest pines, and hidden lakes unseen from below, only privy from this view. It felt like a religious experience.
And then there was Jules, with tears running down her beautiful face.
I smiled at my friend. I knew she would understand.
“You okay?”
She nodded.
“Maybe we should sing ‘God Bless America’ or something.”
“Let’s save it for the drive back to the hotel.”
The hike down was a breeze, and the small investment of four hiking sticks proved to be a wise call. I thought I heard Jules humming behind me, and a smile pulled at my lips.
On our drive back, Jules called bachelor number two and made her evening plans. She’d already run this by me, and I had given my blessing. In turn, I contacted the spa at the hotel and scheduled the deluxe package. I knew how my night would turn out, but I also knew Jules, so I bought earplugs.
I woke to the pale morning light from the rising sun scattering streams of light through the window. I was eager to claim our spot on the covered loungers on the beach below, so I slid a note under Jules’s door.
Meet me on the beach.
After filling my beach bag, I dressed in the new two-piece Jules had forced me to buy from the gift shop. She had decided that my conservative one-piece belonged in the Smithsonian. Now I was sporting a pumpkin-orange string bikini, concealed by my old cover-up that I hid from her.
Once settled in the luxury lounger, I took the new book Steel had given me and started to read. I was surprised when Jules appeared only an hour later.
“Now this is more like it,” she said.
“Watch this.”
I raised the red flag attached to the lounger hood, and a cabana boy instantly came over.
“What can I do for you ladies?”
We ordered a light breakfast, and he returned with a serving tray full of goodies. When he set it on the long table between us, we thanked him profusely.
Then I glanced Jules’s way. She was stunning in her lilac-colored bikini, with ruffles along the edges.
Not wanting to pry, yet curious, I decided to bring up last night. She was spreading cream cheese on her warm, toasted bagel and moaning after her first bite.
“How was Hugh?”
“You mean Noah?”
“The ole switcheroo. Enough said.”
“Enough about me. How’s work? And what I mean by work is Ben.”
“It’s a long, strung out mess,” I confessed.
“Do tell.”
“I’ve given up on trying, to be honest, I just want to focus on my job, and carve out a little happiness in my life.” I forked a chunk of fresh pineapple savoring the sweet juices in my mouth. “You remember, Jules. He was so charismatic in the beginning. He was very different, and I was taken in by his charm. I allowed myself to think we could have something together.”
But it had turned out to be one-sided.
“It all changed after his father’s death. He wouldn’t even look at me. Yet, I still held on to a tiny thread of hope. It was all a huge waste of time, and he’s only ever wanted a friendship. And so, that’s where it ends,” I said, knowing it had never really begun.
“I’ve been forced to shut off any feelings I had for Benjamin Stone.” And settle for a perplexing friendship. Now I simply ignore any lingering feelings of desire, but they’re still buried just beneath the surface.
“Feelings that will never reach the light of day. I’ve dedicated too many years of my life hoping to rekindle the spark we shared in the
beginning, and now I just deny my heart and move on. Lately, it’s been especially off.”
“Off like how?”
“Like a match has been blown out.”
“Poor, stupid Ben,” Jules said. “He doesn’t even realize what he lost.” Piling her bagel high with fruit, she turned to me. “Here, try this.”
Then she handed me a portion of the bagel layered with cream cheese, mango, and pineapple.
“Mmmm.”
“And the new guy?”
“Steel? Sometimes he’s so intense, my body actually trembles.”
Jules grinned. “But in a good way?”
“I’m not sure yet.”
He has the capacity to charm and be romantic. He’s gentle and fierce, it’s equally appealing. I could get lost in his broad shoulders, with every one of his muscles defined. “He’s ripped, and all male.”
“I’m liking him already.”
“And the best part?” I gaze into her eyes. “He wants me. No more guessing, no more games.”
“I want to see you happy, Jordan, so I say go for it. You don’t have to marry the guy. Just have some fun and get laid.”
“I’m happy to hear you got laid.”
“You and me both.”
Now our girl-weekend had ended, and it was a nice escape. But responsibilities were calling me home.
I drove the two hours back and dropped Jules off. I felt a newfound confidence inside. The all-too-familiar guilt fluttered up at times, and I fought to push it down. I had waited long enough. I needed to be focusing on what was real.
I texted Steel when I got home, asking if he still felt up for company tonight.
His answer: Yes.
When I asked for a time that was convenient for him, he replied Now.
The fluttering in my stomach was a reminder of what it felt like to be wanted. No more holding back. Conflicted or not, I needed this for me, as I let the truth just fall aside.
I needed a shower, and to change, but I let my hair do its thing, and applied only a touch of makeup on my eyes and lips.
I pushed into my black skinny jeans and black V-neck cotton shirt. It hugged and accentuated all my best features. Then I slipped on my leather high-heeled boots, one last look and I was out the door.
At seven, I pulled up to a large rod-iron gate and pressed the intercom just as Steel had instructed. It opened. The winding driveway engulfed by trees created a tunnel affect. It was beautiful, and very private, but I wasn’t surprised.
Then the log cabin instantly came into view, a large front porch greeting me, as well as Whiskey, whose head looked up, acknowledging my arrival. I made my way over to the pooch, and knelt to pet the ole boy, and his easy, laid-back behavior rivaled his owner’s.
I heard the creak of the screen door from behind, as it swung open. I gazed over my shoulder, noting Steel’s quirk of an eyebrow and the curl of his lip. It caused a flutter deep in my belly as he watched me from above.
“So, there is another man in your life.” He says.
I gazed up to meet his smiling face as I sat Indian-style, rubbing Whiskey while he proceeded to lick my face.
“You never told me you liked your face licked.”
I laughed, and he held out his hand. I reached for it and felt myself being pulled up. His arms snaked around my waist, lifting me so we were eye to eye.
“You never asked,” I giggled, attempting to squirm away as he licked my cheek.
“Welcome to my humble abode, Jordan.”
I slid down his hard-muscled body, my feet firmly planted.
“So, that was Whiskey, my BFF.”
He held the door open as I walked through.
“Careful, he might try to feel you up. You already allowed him to get to first base, you know.”
“He’s quite the ladies’ man. You’ve got some stiff competition.”
He only winked, as if the words try me were on display.
We walked into the great room with the river-stone fireplace reaching the soaring, ten-foot ceilings. It was all open—the kitchen, the dining room. Stopping in front of the double doors, a spectacular view opened up before me, overlooking the large pines.
“My father built this house with his own two hands.” As if seeing it for the first time, he joined in my exploration. “Of course, that was in his younger years. Once my parents were gone, I moved in and added a master bedroom on the main floor.” He coiled his arms around me, caging my back into his chest. “Maybe one day I’ll show you.”
I could feel his hot breath on my neck.
“What can I get you?”
Releasing his hold, he didn’t look away, just walked backward towards the kitchen, awaiting my answer.
“Do you have ice tea?”
“I do. Have a seat, and get comfortable.”
He nodded toward the large, dark caramel, distressed-leather couch. Once seated, I admired my surroundings. A sophisticated chess set sat upon a small table with two matching chairs. A liquor cabinet pressed against the far wall. Hanging high were collages graced with framed maps and antique posters. There were also weapons laid bare. I assumed he was armed and ready to go. His mantel had several pictures. From where I sat, it looked like his parents, but I didn’t want to point it out or ask.
Then he joined me, sitting my tea on the coffee table, his beer in hand. He approached the fireplace, and I watched him kneel. With one flick of the match, the fire started to simmer.
“I enjoy a fire most nights. It warms this part of the house, but leaves a slight chill in the bedroom. Remember that.”
A blush started to worm its way up my neck.
“Noted.”
“How was your girls weekend?” he asked, once he was comfortable. His body was pressed into the corner of the couch, one arm stretched on the back.
I mirrored his position so we were facing each other. He certainly had a presence about him. He was someone who exuded command and authority. It wasn’t surprising to me that he was so good at his job. He was built for it.
“So fun. Tons of laughs. Mostly girl stuff, selfies, and the beach.”
I wasn’t offering my phone, which might incriminate me by association.
“How about you? Did you work?” I asked.
“I did.”
“Is this subject off-limits? I have to say that I find your work fascinating.”
His arm shifted to my shoulder, pulling me close enough to touch as his fingers began to draw circles, sweeps of his fingertips on my neck, drifting here and there.
“It depends on the situation.” He took a pull from the bottle. “I don’t think you’d find it that interesting.”
“That’s not true. You’re a hero in my eyes. You help people when they’re at their most vulnerable.”
“You think so?” Another pull. “Jordan, your case was not the norm. We live in a world of contradictions. The contrast between them can be frightening. I have no delusions about what I do, or what I’ve done. There’s good, and there’s evil. I live in both worlds.”
“Something happened, didn’t it?”
“Yes.” Another pull from his beer. “I lost a man.”
I didn’t ask how or why. I could feel the pain rising off him, like the fog beginning to melt away.
“You can never be too careful.”
I wanted to offer comfort, and reach over to hug him, hear his steady heartbeat. But the silence remained, yet it was comforting. Whiskey was at my feet, sleeping.
“You’re on my mind all the damned time, Jordan,” he admitted, as if he was fighting the feelings, just as I was. “I can sense a conflict.” His voice was low and warm, it was uncanny, how he could read me. But I was free, Ben had no claim on me. What is absolute freedom and what does that really mean? Are our lives always tied to one soul and one soul only?
“Most likely the same conflicts you battle with.” I offer. “My past and getting hurt again.”
More importantly, could I let go of the hold Ben had on my heart?
“Now, that’s honest.”
“I’ve been hurt Steel.” He offered a comforting smile and gave me a look I was quickly becoming familiar with.
“I’m sorry Jordan, he’s a fool.” he said.
“Maybe it’s me.”
“You sure about that?” His warm fingers ran through my hair, he gently pulled me in closer. “I want to see your amber eyes focused solely on mine.”
There was something within me that was feeding off his power. But was it strong enough to allow me to let go of my past, and the dream that would never come to fruition. Just let go, let him in.
“Then I want to taste that sweet mouth of yours,” he continued. His mouth came crashing down on mine, consuming me. My hands snaked up the back of his neck, pulling me closer, unable to let go as he fed me exactly what my body craved.
His lips and tongue ravaged and devoured me, and he took what he needed. His free hand burrowed in my hair, holding me tight, taking yet giving until I was overwhelmed by need.
I’d always been attracted to strong, masculine men, and now I was drawn in by his dominance. My heart beat erratically in my chest. The warm, relaxed feelings suddenly transitioned into arousal. I couldn’t protect my heart from him. I wasn’t sure I wanted to.
He had barely touched me, but I was trembling and aching. My entire body felt the intensity with all my senses focusing on the longing he stoked within me.
“With that look, I’d give you anything,” he said, his gaze heated.
Each muscle was rigid and strong. His breath now touched my neck in hot waves, inhaling my scent.
Suddenly it sent a stab of longing through me, Ben’s face appeared. I could hardly breathe my chest was so heavy. I backed off immediately. “Steel, please.”
Finding my breath again. “You’re like catnip for women, a magnet drawing me in. You’re driving me wild.
“Wild is good.” He cradled my face, my hair floating around us. There was a slight tilt in his angle, and his lips meet mine. This time it was more tender, slower, and sexier. His hands roaming down my back to rest on my ass. I felt all of him as he pressed his hardness against me, holding me in place to accept his desperate need.
The ringing from the kitchen shattered the mood instantly. Steel’s head fell back in frustration as he cursed under his breath.
Surviving Jordon Page 6
