The Shadow Accords Box Set: Books 1-3

by D. K. Holmberg

  Carth laughed bitterly. “I think I do.”

  Samis sat up, rubbing his back and grimacing. How badly was he injured? She didn’t want to have to carry him back to the cosak and explain what had happened. With Samis, she wasn’t even sure she could carry him. He was much larger than Invar, more muscular, and she doubted she would get very far before he fell on top of her… now, why did that thought make her flush again?

  “No, Rel. You know what it’s like to be here for the last few years, but that’s nothing. You have memories of a time before you came here. All of my memories are of this place, of learning how to reach for magic, and of wandering these grounds.”

  The frustration she’d felt toward Samis faded. “You don’t have any memories of a time before you came here?”

  He shrugged. “Maybe some, but none of them is clear. Even my memories of my parents are faint, faded.”

  “When did you last seen them?”

  It was his turn to offer a bitter laugh. “When they brought me here.”

  Carth blinked. At least she’d had the chance to know her parents until she was twelve. She had memories of them—mostly good memories—and also memories of what it was like outside the palace walls.

  “Maybe you need to get beyond the wall more than I do,” she said.

  “I don’t know about more than. I’ll take the same amount.”

  Carth pulled on her magic, drawing it through her blood, almost screaming as it throbbed against her injured hand, and sent it into the stone. She was tired. All the effort she’d exerted through the day had exhausted her, and she wouldn’t have even tried to reach for it if there hadn’t been the hope of reaching the other side. Holding on to the stone, she scrambled up the vine and tried kicking her foot over.

  Like Samis, she struck an invisible barrier and bounced back.

  Carth had the wherewithal to twist around as she fell so that she landed mostly on her feet, crouching next to Samis.

  “You don’t have to show off with falling, too,” he said.

  “I’m not showing off.”

  “You’re not lying here next to me with your backside throbbing, either.”

  Carth laughed and caught herself before anyone heard them. “I don’t think this is going to work. Maybe the masters realized the ashai were sneaking off the grounds and prepared a way to hold them inside. Either way, I don’t think we’re getting out with our keys, not without having someone with more potential let us free.”

  “I don’t think potential is the issue. This is more an issue of… strength. It’s like whatever is in place here is too strong for us.”

  “Maybe it is here,” she said.

  “What?”

  “Come on,” she told him, “unless your sensitive backside hurts too much to follow me.”

  Samis got up carefully, rubbing his back as he did. “I don’t know what hurts worse, my back or my pride at having you see me fall like that.”

  Carth smiled. “Hopefully only your back. Your pride doesn’t have to worry about what I might think.”

  She moved along the wall, keeping close to the ivy and staying within the shadows of the wall. At this time of night, it was easy enough to do. She tried reaching for the shadows and wrapping them around her, but though the connection was there, it was too faint for her to do anything with. That she detected it at all gave her hope that she’d be able to find a way to cross.

  They stopped at the section of the wall damaged by the Hjan. Masons had repaired it, and the A’ras masters had started placing barriers within it, but she hoped there might be some residual weakness remaining that would let the two of them cross.

  “Are you sure this is a good idea, Rel?” Samis asked.

  “Not at all.”

  She pressed power through the stone and started up the ivy near the damaged section of the wall. Reaching the top, she pushed even more strength through the stone and kicked her foot at the same time.

  Momentum carried her up and over the wall, where she disappeared into the darkness of the other side.

  She waited, and within a moment, Samis followed, landing next to her with more grace than he had with his fall.

  “Well?” he said.

  “Well, what?”

  “Now you have to tell me your secret.”

  13

  Samis let Carth lead the way through the street. As soon as she had landed on this side of the wall, a sense of the shadows had surged through her. She almost wrapped herself within them and created a cloak, but decided against it. Samis might want answers, but she wouldn’t give him more questions as well.

  The city felt different at night than during the day. She thought that had to do with more than her sense of the shadows, but maybe that was all it was. There was a pulsing sort of vibrancy to the city, one that she felt through her bones. Music and song drifted along the street, mixing with that sense of vibrancy, or perhaps causing it. A few crowds of people moved along the street, but mostly they came in pairs or threes.

  Since coming to Nyaesh, Carth had felt comfortable at night. Now that she knew she was shadow blessed, she understood the reason. There was nothing about the shadows that frightened her, not even when she was a child.

  “Where are we going?” Samis asked.

  Without intending to, Carth led them away from the palace and toward the docks. “Wandering,” she told him.

  “Looks like you have someplace you’re leading us.”

  Carth grunted but didn’t answer. She glanced at Samis and realized that he’d taken off his A’ras sash. He didn’t even carry his sword. “Don’t you feel underprepared?”

  “Don’t you?”

  She slipped her knife from the sheath with a quick flourish before shoving it back. “No.”

  “Good thing you’re with me, then. Besides, I’ve never had any issues on patrol. It’s mostly a show of force so we keep the Reshian from the city.”

  “Not when it comes to the Hjan.”

  “We’re not going to run into them tonight, are we?”

  Carth thought about the nausea she’d felt when she’d detected the Hjan before. “I hope not.”

  “Good. I haven’t even had a chance to practice with the Reshian yet. I’m not sure I’m ready for these Hjan.”

  They turned down Doland Street, the long road that ran toward the docks. Carth paused, watching people as they moved past her. In the daylight, when she’d been with Invar, the crowds had parted around them, giving Invar space. Perhaps her as well. At night, and without her sash, the people paid her no more mind than anyone else making their way through the streets. There was a strange reassurance in that anonymity. Maybe the Hjan wouldn’t even know she was here.

  “There’s so many people still out.” A sense of wonder filled Samis’s voice, and Carth smiled.

  “It never really slows down.”

  “The city?”

  Carth shrugged. “We’re along the Maladon River. Lots of cargo comes through here, moving toward the sea. People come from all over, and many have never been to a city this size. They only want to stay out.” That had been part of the reason she’d always had success collecting scraps. Not the time of day—though that had something to do with it; the more men drank, the easier it became for her to slip a purse free from a pocket.

  “Was it always like this when you lived here?” Samis asked.

  “I never lived in this part of the city. After my parents died, I stayed along the docks. One of the innkeepers took me in and gave me a place to stay, food to eat.” And she hadn’t asked anything other than that Carth help sell baked goods for her. Even at that, Carth hadn’t done a very good job. She’d been much more interested in stealing, and wandering the city; anything other than the simple task Vera had asked of her.

  “I didn’t know your parents died.”

  Carth glanced at him. “What did you think happened?”

  He shrugged. “Same as with the rest of us, I guess. Parents realize there’s potential they can’t reac
h and they bring you to the palace. Most of us. Quite a few are born in the palace, so there’s really nowhere else to go, like Landon.”

  Carth smiled. “I don’t know what my parents knew about my potential, only that they brought me to Nyaesh, and I suspect they wanted me to study with the A’ras.”

  “You didn’t know?”

  They were farther down the street, and now the sound of the water rushing along the shore parted the silence of the night. Voices along the street were more muted, and the shadows came more frequently. An alley led off the street and Carth almost turned down it, thinking of the herbalist who had once been so welcoming.

  “I don’t know what they intended for me,” she said. “They never told me.”

  “You’re not from Nyaesh.”

  “I think everyone is well aware of that, thank you very much,” she said.

  Samis glanced at her and shook his head. “That’s not what I mean. Why did you think you were coming to the city if not to study with the A’ras?”

  “This wasn’t the first city we stopped in,” Carth said. She thought of the line of villages and towns her parents had brought her through before they’d reached Nyaesh. They had stayed in each of them for varying lengths. Some, like Tripol, they were in for nearly a year. Others, like the village Sahar, they stayed for only a few weeks. Carth had memories of most, though she didn’t know why her parents had continued to move.

  “You’re an interesting person, Carthenne Rel.”

  Carth rounded on him, slipping her knife from the sheath without thinking. “How do you know my full name?”

  Samis flushed and took a step back from her. “I—”

  She jabbed the knife at him and his eyes went wide. It took her a moment to realize why.

  Shadows swirled around the end of the knife. She had reached for the shadows without intending to and had nearly attacked Samis with them. Recognizing that, she released the connection to the shadows, flushing slightly.

  “How did you know my name?” she asked again.

  “I’ve overheard you and Alison talking. The two of you carry on sometimes and talk louder than you realize. I don’t know why you don’t use your full name. It’s nice.”

  She shook her head and slipped the knife back into her sheath. “Only my mother called me Carthenne.”

  “You let Alison call you that.”

  “I don’t think I could stop Alison if I wanted to,” she said.

  Samis grinned. “She can be a little strong-willed, can’t she?”

  That might have been one of the nicest things anyone had ever called Alison. “That’s why she’s such a great friend.”

  They continued along the street and Carth made no secret of the fact that she headed straight toward the docks. Samis said nothing until they reached River Road. “What was that?” he asked.

  “It was nothing.”

  He shook his head, his gaze drifting to the knife sheathed at her waist. “It was something, Rel. I’ve never seen anything like it. I know you’re strong when you pull on your potential, so I’m not sure what that might be.” He pulled his gaze up to her eyes. “Is that the secret you don’t want me to know about?”

  She licked her lips. It was bad enough that Alison and now Master Invar knew of her ability with shadows, but Samis too? How many more would learn that she was shadow blessed?

  “You know that I’m not from Nyaesh. My parents are from a place called Ih-lash. Some of the people are born with a connection to shadows that allows them to hide. They’re called shadow blessed.”

  “And you?”

  She met his eyes. “I think I’m one of the shadow blessed.”

  “Think? You don’t know? You can do… whatever that was and you don’t know?”

  Carth took a deep breath. “Invar thinks that’s the reason I’m able to detect the Hjan. He thinks there’s something about being one of the shadow blessed that lets me know when they’re near.”

  Samis watched her for a while. Carth wondered what was going on behind the deep blue eyes. Would he think she didn’t belong studying with the A’ras?

  “Is that why you’re always a step slow?” he finally asked.

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “When you reach for your potential. You’re always a step slow. Does it have anything to do with this other ability of yours?”

  “I don’t know. When we’re on the other side of the wall, I’m not able to use it. The power placed into the wall by the A’ras masters keeps me from it. It’s only when we’re on this side of the wall that I can sense it again.”

  “That’s why you wanted to come out here tonight, isn’t it?” When she didn’t answer, he frowned. “What else can you do with it?”

  “What do you mean?”

  He shrugged. “You said you could use the shadows to hide?”

  Carth took a step back from him and pulled on the shadows, creating a cloak. As soon as she did, the sounds became more muted and yet somehow sharper. Samis gasped.

  “Where did you go?”

  She released the cloak. It had been so long since she had used her ability, long enough that she wasn’t sure it would still work for her the way it should. Finding that she could still use the shadows as easily as she once had reassured her.

  “That’s what I can do.”

  Samis blinked. “How? I mean… how?”

  “I don’t know. It’s not something I can even explain. The man who told me about the shadow blessed didn’t know anything about it either, but told me that it wasn’t uncommon in Ih-lash. I think my parents knew what I could do.”

  “Think? You don’t know?”

  “They never said anything about it before…”

  “Then how did you know?”

  “My father used to play games with me. My mother, too. I think the games were meant to draw out any ability I might have with the shadows.”

  “I bet you could use the shadows in other ways. Look at the way you sent it through the knife! And if there are people like you in the world who can detect the Hjan, I wonder why the masters don’t try to get their help.”

  Carth hadn’t asked that question before and realized that she should have. Why hadn’t the masters gone looking for others from Ih-lash? That was a question she’d have to ask the next time she worked with Invar.

  “How did you learn to use them?” he asked. “The shadows. You said your parents never taught you, but who did if not them?”

  “There was a man… he found me in the city, or maybe I found him. I thought he might have had something to do with what happened to them, but he showed me what it meant for me to be shadow blessed.”

  She moved away from Samis and made her way toward the Wounded Lyre. She had come this way without fully knowing where she was going, but she wasn’t surprised that she had found her way here.

  The tavern looked no different than it had five years ago. Maybe more faded, the painted sign hanging from the entrance a lighter shade than it had once been, but lights still burned brightly within and the sound of music drifted out, a vibrant sound, and one that reminded her of simpler times.

  But had they been so simple?

  She hadn’t known much about her shadow abilities, but those had been some of the hardest days for her, especially in the months immediately following losing her parents. Kel and Etan hadn’t been particularly welcoming, though Kel had eventually become someone she cared about—and another person she had lost.

  Maybe she romanticized that time, or maybe it was that the tavern had been the last home she’d had before going with the A’ras.

  “This was the place, wasn’t it?” Samis asked.

  “This was it,” she agreed.

  “Do you want to go in?”

  Carth shook her head. “What would I say? Even if they remembered me, what would I say?”

  “Wouldn’t they be happy to see you?”

  “I… I don’t know. I left without saying anything to them. I didn’t want goodbyes,
and I didn’t want it to be harder than it needed to be.”

  “That seems like it would be worse.”

  “Children go missing all the time in this part of the city,” she said quickly, remembering the words Vera had once said to her. They had been a warning, not a threat, and one that had, in a way, hardened something inside of Carth. Hopefully fewer children went missing now, after what she’d done, but she hadn’t remained around long enough to know.

  “You don’t think they would worry?”

  “They would have worried more about having me go with the A’ras. Not all see them the way you do. Some fear them.”

  “Us. Not them.”

  Carth nodded. “Fine. Us.”

  Him saying it didn’t make it true for her. As much as she might try to be a part of the A’ras, she still felt like she was apart from them, different enough because of her inability to reach her magic as easily as others, or because of the fact that she was older than most of the ashai, or now even because she’d been chosen to work with Invar, something most thought some sort of honor but Carth knew to be remedial lessons.

  “Where do you want to go now?” Samis asked.

  The door opened to the Wounded Lyre, letting out more of the music and a flutter of warmth. The unmistakable scent of Vera’s cooking came with it and she sighed. “Back to the palace,” she said.

  Samis glanced over but didn’t say a word.

  14

  The next few days passed slowly, almost painfully. Invar didn’t come for her again, and did not summon her, either. She had gone to the palace the first morning after she and Samis had snuck into the city and had been turned away. Master Invar was not prepared for his student. That was all she was told. The next day was the same. And the following day, she was told he would find her when he was ready to resume her lessons.

  In some ways, not working with Invar was worse than when she had been allowed to study with him. At least then she hadn’t had to see the pitying looks of the other students at the fact that she had returned to the ashai classes. Carth kept to herself, sitting near the back of the class, letting her mind drift.