Sleeping Love

by Sara Curran-Ross

  * * *

  Sabrina stretched her arm across the bed and discovered she was alone. She sat up searching for Raoul, her eyes blinking in the sunlight streaming in from the windows. She shrugged, he’d probably gone out riding. She felt empty inside without him, having hoped to wake with him by her side. She threw off the covers and slipped on the dress giggling at the torn underwear lying on the floor and scooped up her shoes as she padded across the wooden floor. A nice warm shower was in order, and she decided to return to their own room for one in the hope of catching him when he came in from his ride.

  Last night had been exhilarating, the sex amazing, every bit as good as she remembered. She felt so close to Raoul now. She may not remember everything, but there was enough to feel a strong bond and deep connection did exist between them. She would never understand why her mind would cause her to forget her husband and the man she loved. That was until she opened the door to her bedroom.

  Cressida sat up from Raoul’s bed as if on cue and suitably horrified. She was naked, her body half exposed under rumpled sheets. She tossed her chestnut curls over her shoulder and looked defiantly at Sabrina standing in the doorway. Sabrina felt her mouth go dry. She glanced at the door of the bathroom that was slightly ajar. The shower was running. She narrowed her eyes at it. How could she have been so stupid in falling for Raoul’s lies?

  You nearly had me convinced of your faithfulness, Raoul. Now this . . . What game are you playing with me?

  ‘He left your bed for mine, just like he used to. You just don’t seem to be able to satiate a man like Raoul.’

  ‘Grow up, Cressida and get out of my bed before I drag you out,’ Sabrina snapped walking over to tug the sheets from the bed.

  Cressida laughed that laugh which made Sabrina feel as if she knew everything and was manipulating it all to her advantage. And there wasn’t a damn thing Sabrina could do about it. Cressida stood up totally unabashed by her nakedness, giving Sabrina’s body a pitiful stare. Sabrina bit her lip and tossed Cressida her robe, repeating her command for the woman to leave the room. She closed the door and gathered her clothes as quickly as possible.

  She couldn’t believe she’d been so stupid. People lost their memories, forgot their families and their husbands or wives for a reason. Cressida and Raoul’s affair must have been one of them in her case. Raoul had merely taken advantage, counted on her not remembering everything. The shower was still going when she tipped everything into her small suitcase and ran back to the blue room to dress and leave before he was in a position to stop her. She showered and dressed warmly in a black polo neck, trousers and boots before contemplating a way to leave the house.

  She looked out at the heavy snow and banged her fist against the wall. She was too angry with herself to lament. All she could think about was getting out of the house. She wanted to get away from everyone, away from Raoul before he cast another spell on her with those mesmerising eyes. She’d allowed herself to think he really did love her, that their marriage was a fairy-tale. Daydreaming got you nowhere but trouble.

  She put her winter coat on and picked up her suitcase. She couldn’t take anymore. She didn’t know who was lying, who was telling the truth. She couldn’t even trust herself. Not even the snow was going to stop her from escaping.

  Chapter Eleven

  ‘Oh, you are up.’

  Raoul stood in the door way carrying a tray of breakfast accompanied by a romantic single red rose in a vase. She frowned at it as though he was rubbing salt in the wound with his thoughtful touch.

  His brow creased.

  ‘Where are you going?’

  He asked the question quietly, but there was no mistaking the concern in his tone.

  ‘I’m leaving,’ she said, confidently raising her head to meet his eyes with defiance.

  He laughed with disbelief as he put the tray down on the bed and walked towards her taking her arms.

  ‘What’s wrong? What have I done to upset you now?’

  He looked genuinely concerned. He was so eager to please, to love her, to be attentive to all her needs. But it was all a lie, a con. It just made the exploit all the more hurtful.

  ‘Don’t touch me.’

  She shrugged off his hold and tried to walk around him. But his arm swung expertly around her waist and brought her back.

  ‘Sabrina, I want to know what is going on. Why are you trying to leave yet again?’

  He was holding back his frustration, maintaining patience.

  ‘As if you don’t know. She was in your bed. You left me last night to sleep with her.’

  ‘Who are you talking about?’

  His grip tightened as she tried to pull away.

  ‘Who do you think? Cressida. I went back to our room and found her naked in your bed and you in the shower,’ she shouted.

  ‘That’s impossible I’ve been downstairs making your breakfast. I showered ages ago, after my ride. She’s playing games with you, Sabrina. I can’t believe this keeps happening. Why won’t you trust me? Isn’t my word worth anything over Cressida’s? I’ll make her leave right now.’

  ‘It’s not good enough, Raoul. She was in your bed, our bed. I can’t believe you would make love to me. Why bother if you believed I was so inadequate?’

  A torrent of abusive French words tripped from his mouth. All she could make out was that they were aimed at Cressida.

  ‘I will make her leave right now with Luc. They can walk into the village and get a room. Then I will get on to my lawyer and take out an injunction to force her to keep away from you.’

  ‘Oh yes that would suit you fine wouldn’t it. Keep her away from me so she doesn’t give anything else away.’

  ‘Why won’t you believe me? I thought marriage was about trust?’ he asked sarcastically.

  ‘Trust? How can I trust someone I hardly even know? If it’s a divorce you’re after, I will gladly give one to you.’

  His eyes narrowed, and he abruptly let go of her arms. She found herself putting a hand to her mouth, shocked by her words. Only a couple of days ago her life had been stable, lonely, but she’d liked it. Now she didn’t even know who she really was or this man who called himself her husband and protector. She was asking for a divorce from a marriage her mind hadn’t even acknowledged. Her emotions were so up and down it was like riding a rollercoaster. She thought she might be going insane after all.

  ‘Is that what you really want, Sabrina? You would just discard me like that? It’s so easy for you to do that? To, forget me? Don’t lie to me. You remember a lot more than you have told me. Why are you so frightened to remember me?’

  She was about to speak but Luc appeared in the doorway. His face was ashen.

  ‘Raoul, Mother is ill again. We must go and see her at the hospital in Paris.’

  Raoul took his brother to one side to talk to him about his mother in French. Then Sabrina heard Raoul rebuke Luc for bringing Cressida and telling him about what Sabrina had just witnessed. He wanted them both gone. There were raised voices. A flurry of broken images entered Sabrina’s mind as both men finished their discussion. She remembered Luc arguing with Raoul, with herself. It was the party, she was going to tell Raoul something about Luc. He’d threatened her when she confronted him, and she remembered wrenching free from the tight hold he had on her wrist.

  A thousand reasons popped into her head, their supposed affair being one of them. The worst, that Luc was her rapist. Without realising, she edged closer to Raoul when he returned to her side. Luc and Raoul talked to each other about visiting their mother, in cold voices, clearly annoyed but feigning civility in front of Sabrina. Eventually, Luc left and Sabrina tried to back away from Raoul again, but he caught her arm puzzled by her sudden closeness when Luc had still been in the room.

  ‘Sabrina, you must come. I told Maman that you were back, and it will do her good to see you. You both had such a good relationship, almost mother and daughter.’

  She gave him a shaky smile, her body was still t
rembling inside.

  ‘Of course. I’ll do anything to help. But after that I want to leave.’

  ‘No, Sabrina. We must hurry.’

  He firmly caught her wrist and took her bag from her. Her resistance was pathetic against his strength. He tossed it on to the bed and led her out of the room.

  * * *

  Cressida didn’t accompany them in the helicopter. She was nowhere to be found, out riding somewhere with the others, their day of activities halted. Only Alain came along for moral support. He was another man in their party of friends that made her feel uneasy and afraid to be around alone. His constant staring when Raoul could not see and his awkward manner loaned more than enough suspicion. She couldn’t shake the feeling that she was walking along the hospital corridor with her attacker right by her side. It could have been anyone of them, even to her dismay, Raoul. The notion made nausea well up inside and made her light-headed.

  Sabrina put her hand to her head as the room began to spin. She was back at the party, re-living the same events. The memory was so vivid she felt as though she was inside it. She was in her study arguing with Luc. She was holding a piece of paper with figures on it. She was accusing him of stealing money from Raoul’s company. She was heading for the door, but Luc caught her arm and spun her round and leaned in close squashing her face with his heavy hand. She wasn’t going to tell Raoul anything, he was going to make sure, and for once he was going to hold all of the cards and take what he wanted.

  Then he was kissing her hard, forcing her mouth up to his, bruising her arm that he held so tight. Her struggles were useless as her free hand clawed at the hand that painfully gripped her face. But he stopped when someone else entered the room.

  ‘Sabrina, Sabrina,’ she could hear Raoul’s voice from somewhere distant calling to her as if trying to wake her from a dream. The memory began to fade into darkness, and her attempts to hold on to it were futile. Her mind was shutting it down to protect her once again.

  Sabrina looked around and found her back pressed up against the wall of the corridor, Raoul was smoothing his hand over her face that felt damp with moisture. A nurse was at his side.

  ‘What happened?’ she asked catching her bearings again.

  ‘You just had another flashback. I want to get you home as soon as I have seen my mother and her doctor.’

  Sabrina caught Luc’s eyes watching her with curious intent.

  ‘I’m sorry. I’m so embarrassed.’

  Raoul pulled her into his arms.

  ‘What did you remember?’

  ‘Just what I told you before,’ she lied.

  She couldn’t just tell him that she remembered his brother was stealing money from the company and that he possibly could have raped her. She tried to dismiss it, pushing him away, straightening her back.

  ‘I think you should be worrying more about your mother than me.’

  His arm wound tightly around her waist like a rope and pulled her towards him. He tilted her chin and stroked his thumb over her lips in a provocative sensual gesture. The others backed away, taking the hint that Raoul wished to talk to his wife alone.

  ‘You still don’t seem to understand, Sabrina. Your health is of the utmost importance to me. You are my wife,’ he told her sternly.

  His voice was deep, melodic, an enchantment that melted her resistance and soothed the painful memories. Every time he reminded her of her status in his life as his wife she felt as though he spoke the words with a primitive possession. Amelia was right, she would protest, but deep inside her own primitive part of herself acknowledged his right and ached for him to make her realise its power.

  ‘I won’t hear of any more talk of divorce. I will never permit you to leave this marriage. You made vows Sabrina, and I intend to hold you to them. Now we will see Maman, then I will take you home and make you rest, and we will talk about what you really remembered.’

  She opened her mouth to speak, but the brush of his thumb, then his lips, silenced the desire to object. He kept an arm around her waist partly for restraint, partly for support as they joined the others. By his tender brush of her hip as they approached Luc and Alain she could not fail to comprehend that he was acutely aware of her fear of the men. She felt him pull her just that little bit closer to assure her of his protection, and for the first time she felt grateful for the action.

  * * *

  Madame Valoire was an elegant Englishwoman in her sixties. She was sitting up in bed after having collapsed from over exertion after her illness. She hugged Sabrina tightly. To her surprise, there was genuine warmth and concern in her hold.

  ‘I knew you were still alive, and I knew you would come back. I was right you see, Raoul. She lost her memory. Sabrina would never leave you, she loves you too much, besides she is the only woman who would put up with you.’

  Sabrina looked at the woman amused. Louise winked at her as Raoul began to shake his head. She couldn’t help but like the woman immediately.

  ‘I know you can’t remember me dear, but we used to get on famously. Don’t worry I am not the mother-in-law from hell. At least, I don’t think I am.’

  Louise Valoire held Sabrina’s hand tightly.

  ‘We all missed you, never mind Raoul. I’ve had no one English to moan to for ages since I’ve been stuck in my house. And all Raoul has done is have a go at me because I wouldn’t go and live in the Chateau with him. I like my independence.’

  She ran her hands through her short, light brown hair that suited her round face and chestnut eyes.

  ‘I can’t stand lying around anymore. I need my hair done for heaven sakes, the grey is beginning to show.’

  ‘Relax, Maman. You need to take it easy for a while. You are weak. When they let you out of here, you are coming back to the Chateau with Sabrina and I.’

  ‘Like hell am I. Do you think I want to be cooped up with two young married people who haven’t seen each other for ages? You both need time and space, and Sabrina needs to recover. Besides, I need my own space.’

  She turned back to Sabrina whose hand she was still holding.

  ‘He’s so damn bossy, isn’t he? Just like his father. If he were here today, he would have something to say about your return. He thought you were amazing. But you know what French men are like with women. Aah, Olivier, I miss you so much.’

  Raoul and Luc bent their heads at the mention of their father. Sabrina looked at Raoul bewildered.

  ‘You don’t know, do you dear, and he was so fond of you, as you were of him. He never gave up on you either. But he died just last year.’

  ‘I’m sorry, Madame Valoire.’

  ‘Don’t call me that, it’s Louise. It makes me sound so old, don’t you think.’

  Sabrina smiled.

  ‘Yes, I know what you mean. I’m sorry about your husband.’

  Louise frowned at Sabrina’s words.

  ‘Raoul, I don’t like it. I don’t like it at all. Has Sabrina seen a doctor? You must make her remember, I can’t bear it. You are acting as if I am a stranger, my dear. Raoul, make sure she has the best doctors.’

  ‘It’s already done. Sabrina is to have counselling next week, but she is beginning to remember lots of things.’

  Louise cupped Sabrina’s face.

  ‘Don’t look so worried child, everything will be all right, trust me. You and Raoul love each other too much for one of you to forget.’

  She sat up straight.

  ‘Then you can both work on producing me a grandchild and you, Luc, can get yourself married and settle down before you give me a heart attack next time.’

  Raoul grinned at Sabrina’s shock and Luc’s brief annoyance.

  ‘Oui, Maman,’ both brothers chorused with amused resignation.

  * * *

  Sabrina walked briskly out of the plush hospital room and found Raoul’s arm swiftly around her waist drawing her back to walk alongside him. But she got the feeling he was doing more than trying to prevent her from escaping. She got the distinct
impression he was shielding her from Alain and Luc.

  ‘My mother is quite a character,’ Raoul laughed speaking to Sabrina.

  ‘She certainly is. I see why we got on,’ Sabrina told him stiffly.

  ‘You are still unhappy with me, Sabrina. We will talk when we go home. This problem with Cressida is getting out of control, and I am going to put a stop to it.’

  She was about to renew the fight when he brought them to a cold stop and stared down the corridor at the approaching gang of reporters, flashing cameras and shouting questions at both of them. He took hold of Sabrina’s hand in a vice grip. There was no other way out of the corridor. He looked at Luc.