Sleeping Love
Page 15
‘But you would have condemned me to live a lie for the rest of my life. You had no choice, Raoul. Whether I like it or not, I have to face what happened to me.’
She thought of Luc and Alain and frowned. She wanted to forget they even existed. Raoul obliged reaching for her body, pressing his lips against hers, laying her flat to slip inside her again. This time she felt no fear as his weight pressed down upon her. She trusted that he would not hurt her. Raoul had banished the fearsome ghost of her attacker who’d strove to keep them apart in bed.
* * *
Sabrina let the warm water of the shower cascade down her body, drowning out the voice in her head that told her she had to do something urgent about the situation with Luc or leave. No one would win whatever decision she made. She was going to have to choose who got hurt. She closed her eyes, her mind recounting a million memories of her life in the Chateau with Raoul, how they met, his arguments with Luc, Alain always staring, always making her uneasy. And her friendship with Amelia.
Her memory was coming back thick and fast after only a few days, forcing her to confront the demons she’d run from all those years ago. She pressed her hands against the wall and let out a cry as the night of her attack played inside her head like a bad movie. She could see Luc, his grip on her face and arm so tight. She had a feeling there was someone else in the room. This time the memory was longer. Luc was swearing at her in French, threatening her that if she told Raoul anything he would kill her.
She’d believed him after the rumours Amelia had told her about him. Then Luc was turning, talking to the other person in the room. There was only a small lamp on, and she could not see the man’s face. Luc raised his hand and slapped her hard knocking her to the floor and stepped back. Sabrina gasped feeling the fear and tension increase in her body as the memory stopped then started again. She couldn’t see the man’s face, only his arm as he yanked her up sharply. She could hear herself cry and plead with the man, but his hand reached out to tear the necklace from her throat, its emeralds dancing all over the wooden floor around her feet as he knocked her back to the ground. She shut her eyes and cried out. The memory shut down quick. When she opened her eyes, her hands were pressed taut against the wall, her body was cold and shivering despite the warmth of the shower.
An eerie feeling swept over her body. There was so much steam in the room, and she could not see much outside the shower cubicle, but her senses told her there was someone there watching her shower and possibly had been for a while. She saw the figure of a man move closer.
‘Who’s there? Raoul, is that you?’
She heard the panic in her voice. The intruder moved away from the shower and made for the door, knocking over a metal rack filled with towels. Sabrina ran out of the shower, grabbing a towel to wrap around her body, and out of the door only to run slap bang into Raoul.
‘Sabrina, what’s the matter? Why are you are shaking?’
He held her damp arms, smoothing his fingers up and down them to soothe her agitation. Sabrina paused, wondering if Raoul had seen anyone come out of the room. She was desperate to ask him, tell him everything, but something made her stop. She had to know what was going on before she could accuse anyone. She had to make sure, it was too risky to get wrong and too many people to hurt when she made a decision whether to reveal the truth or not.
‘I just had another flash back. I got scared and ran out here to find you,’ she lied.
She looked down at the towel rack lying across the floor. She put a hand to her head.
‘I knocked the rack down as I ran. I’m sorry.’
Raoul held her close and kissed her forehead.
‘Let’s get you dry, you need to eat something.’
He opened the towel and began to dry her body. It was a comforting action, more than sensual, making her feel glad of his closeness. He stayed with her as she dressed, reluctant to leave her alone. His eyes watched her with guarded suspicion and concern making her convinced that he did not believe her story.
* * *
A late lunch was served and was another guarded affair. Sabrina knew most of the guests now, although her memory was still distant and vague with the details of their lives and their connections to Raoul and herself. She would not have personally considered them all close friends, but she now understood why Raoul had invited some of them on this pretence. They were his suspects for her kidnap and disappearance, and he was determined to flush the person responsible out.
Cressida had managed to sit herself on the other side of Raoul and was directly competing with Sabrina for his attention. Raoul paid her little, if any at all. But it only had the effect of making her try harder. She constantly touched his arm, brushed his hand and made comments about Raoul’s life without Sabrina and their various meetings and days out, the times they were alone and the attention he’d lavished on her.
The other guests shook their heads and Raoul became annoyed with the way she constantly interrupted his conversations with Sabrina. He laughed at the way she tried to make out that he had been infatuated with her, reminding her quite clearly that their meetings had been on business terms only and the days out spent with clients and other partners engaged on the project they had been working on. But it was all enough to make Sabrina wonder if she hadn’t been right in the first place.
She remembered heated conversations with Cressida over Raoul before she disappeared and her stunt that very morning that Raoul swore he knew nothing about. She narrowed her eyes at Raoul. He grinned and picked up her hand and lavished it with a gentle kiss. He leaned in close and kissed her cheek. He whispered in her ear.
‘As soon as lunch is over I am going to speak to her and make her leave. Don’t believe anything she says. I am not the only one who knows she is lying here. Ask anyone here.’
Sabrina looked up at Cressida who was giving her best vamp scowl. Sabrina smiled sweetly with sarcasm making Amelia dig her side with triumph. Sabrina glanced around the table feeling eyes rest on her. They belonged to Alain. She wondered if it had been him in her room before and maybe he was the other person in the study who had raped her. She shuddered as the thought crossed her mind. She wished she could remember the last piece of the jigsaw puzzle to end the mystery of her past life. She caught his eyes and felt her body tremble as his eyes bored into her making her feel violated. She quickly looked away only to find Maxim Tissier watching her intently. She decided the best place for her eyes to look were down at her plate and began to eat again, although she barely could force it down. The feeling that her attacker might be in the same house, or even around the table made her feel sick with fear and dread.
Coffee was served in the lounge. Raoul hovered close, not leaving her side once, causing her to feel suspicious. Her head felt stuffy and the sick feeling was unbearable. Her head seemed to spin with questions, theories, scrutinising all those around her as they tried to make conversation. Alain and Luc were both watching her along with Cressida and Maxim. She felt like an exhibit in a freak show, and all she wanted to do was to get out of the room, even the house, just so she could breathe.
Cressida would not leave Raoul’s side and was openly making a play for his attention. Sabrina couldn’t stand it anymore and made an excuse about going to the bathroom to freshen up. She glared at Raoul who appeared to be finding Cressida’s antics amusing. The more he ignored her the more attention she gave him. It gave Sabrina the wrong impression of his sincerity. She breathed a sigh of relief as she closed the door behind her. What she needed was some air. A tingle of excitement ignited her memory. She’d missed riding so much. Although she would be rusty, it would be worth a try to see how much of it she remembered. Besides, the dubious routine with Raoul and Cressida was driving her nuts. Some good old fashioned fresh air would do her good and help her work out a plan. Sabrina ran upstairs feeling a new energy with the return of her memory. She knew exactly where to look for her riding jacket and coat. They were still neatly hanging in the space she’d left them, her
riding hat on the shelf, all in neat order. She smiled remembering how Raoul had teased her the day before for her methodical meticulous nature with her clothes. Thankfully, this time it paid off and made her escape a whole lot easier and quicker than it could have been.
Quickly, she changed and sneaked back down the stairs making sure she was not seen. Winding her way around the side of the Chateau, she stole away to the stables. There were voices from a nearby window making her realise she was outside Raoul’s study. She stood to the side, her footsteps quiet in the soft snow. One of the voices was female. It belonged to Cressida. Sabrina tensed, but she could only make out snatches of the argument. What she did hear confirmed her doubts. They were talking about their relationship. Cressida reached up and rested her hands against Raoul’s back that was turned to her as he poured a drink from the cabinet. She leant her head against him savouring his warmth.
Sabrina closed her eyes as though she’d experienced a sharp stab of pain. She felt jealousy soar within her. So she’d been right all along. Without giving the scene a further look, she made her way down the sweeping stone steps that led into the grounds and down to the stables, trying to wipe away the warm tears that froze against her cold cheeks. It was time to leave Raoul and the Chateau behind.
* * *
Raoul swung round sharply nearly knocking Cressida off balance.
‘Don’t touch me. How many times do I have to tell you I am not interested, Cressida,’ he bellowed.
He slammed his drink down. Cressida lowered her eyes hurt. She was playing him again, giving him that innocent virgin girl routine.
‘You used to be.’
‘That was before Sabrina and when I realised what you were all about.’
She pouted her cherry lips. Once upon a time, many years ago Raoul would have found Cressida’s pout irresistible. But since he had first met Sabrina, all he could think about was loving her and the way she pouted and lowered her eyes when she wanted something from him. The way she curled her arms around his neck and stroked a finger over his lips as she asked please in her most seductive voice rendering him at her mercy. He could only ever love Sabrina. No one else could ever match her.
‘I still don’t know why you married Sabrina. I could have been so much better for you. I thought you would have come to your senses these last seven years, but you’ve done your worst to keep away from me,’ a fierce jealous anger burned in Cressida’s tone.
‘You cast me away remember. It was you who had the affairs. You who thought you could play me off with that playboy millionaire and his young brother, just so you could snare one of us into marriage and get what you really wanted, money,’ Raoul snapped back.
Cressida raised her hand and slapped him. Raoul rubbed his jaw. His voice was cold and brutal.
‘The truth hurts doesn’t it, Cressida. I don’t want you, I never have, and you’ve always known that, yet you still persist. You made Sabrina’s life hell before she disappeared. Just when she needed my support, you made her think we were having an affair. She asked me for a divorce the night of the ball, and I refused. That’s the last thing I want. There is no way I will ever let her leave me. When I showed you out that night, I meant what I said, that I never wanted to see you again in my house. And now you’re here thanks to Luc. I want you to leave before the weather sets in bad again.’
‘What if I refuse? Luc won’t hear of it,’ she told him triumphantly. ‘Do you really want to cause an argument with him again when your mother is so ill? She has a hard time as it is keeping you two happy with each other.’
‘If you refuse, I will put you on that helicopter myself. I don’t want you hurting Sabrina any more than you have. Now get out of my house.’
‘I will make lots of trouble for you, Raoul.’
‘You mean like the stunt you pulled this morning trying to convince Sabrina that we slept together last night. I suppose that was Luc in the shower helping you out. I don’t know what you two are up to. I should have realised when he convinced me to engage you as the architect on the holiday complex.’
He heard himself laugh at his naivety.
‘I must have lost more than Sabrina when she disappeared. I thought I should give you a second chance. I thought seven years would have made a difference, not to mention your marriage. But I was obviously wrong. Your contract will be terminated.’
‘You can’t do that, I’ll sue.’
Raoul looked at the woman he once thought he was in love with in his early twenties with contempt.
‘Go ahead but you might want to read the small print. I have already engaged another good architect, your sister Alexandra. You two should have stayed a team, but I gather she didn’t trust you either.’
He watched Cressida’s eyes cloud with moisture and felt a pang of guilt. But she deserved it for all the hurt she had caused Sabrina and their marriage.
Her voice was choked. ‘I don’t believe you don’t want me. What if I told you your precious Sabrina was having an affair with your brother before she so mysteriously disappeared.’ Raoul felt his blood move faster around his veins with anger as her words hit a cord, confirming the suspicions he hadn’t even wanted to consider.
Chapter Thirteen
Sabrina engaged the help of the stable groom with saddling one of the horses. She walked the animal out onto the snow covered courtyard and didn’t refuse the groom’s help in mounting the horse. It had been awhile and his assistance was greatly appreciated, although before her disappearance she would have been embarrassed. Not once in the last seven years had she even considered the possibility that she was a competent rider. There had never been a chance or desire for her to find out.
The groom didn’t know who she was, otherwise, he probably would have stopped her from going off on her own no doubt. Raoul appeared to have all the staff trained to watch out for any impending danger when she was around. She took a breath and instructed the black mare to move off along the path and down into the grounds towards the partially frozen lake. She maintained a sedate walk at first, too nervous to try anything else until she gained more confidence. She moved slowly down the hill and began to walk around the lake. It was her usual route to take when riding on her own.
Everything was so peaceful and still under the snow. Woods lined both sides of the lake revealing several secret sculptured fountains and marble men and women in Greek dress, that would be hidden in the summer months in the generous green foliage of the trees. It took her forty-five minutes to reach the wall that travelled around the grounds of the Chateau.
It stood before her. A reminder of the barrier that crossed between the two lives that she was leading. Beyond the wall was her life as Sabrina Michaels in England and on the other side, Sabrina Valoire. She had to choose. Telling Raoul about Luc would tear the family apart. Leaving again might produce the same result, but it had to be better than knowing your own brother was a thief and perhaps a rapist.
She wasn’t sure Luc was the one who raped her, but she knew he was somehow involved with everything that had happened. She loved Raoul deeply, but then there was Cressida. She’d tried to believe him but every time she did, Cressida was always there proving her wrong.
If you really want a divorce, Raoul, why do you keep trying to hold on to me? Is it just to prove to the police that you were not involved in my kidnap and attack? What is it? Why won’t you just let me go?
She pulled on the reins, as the horse grew restless feeling a cold wind begin to pick up. She walked alongside the wall deliberating her next move, and then she saw it. In between a gap in the wall was a huge gate locked with a padlock.
She laughed remembering how she had jumped it, forcing Raoul to do the same as she rode off down the lane that led into the village. He’d been so angry. She could have been thrown and gotten herself killed he’d chastised. He probably had a point but . . .
If there was going to be away out of the Chateau and Raoul’s life to protect him, jumping over the gate was it. She could be in the
village and catching the local train back to Paris within ten minutes. She would find a way back to England. She started to walk the horse backwards in anticipation.
But will he ever forgive me? Does it matter anymore? He wants Cressida more than me, and I have to get used to it.
Feeling more determined to put the hurtful past behind her, she backed the horse right up. She questioned her sanity for a moment. It had been a long time since she’d ridden, and this was dangerous. She closed her eyes and bit her lip, lamenting the reckless nature that yearned for adventure she’d got back in touch with. The new Sabrina was cautious, but the old one begged her to take a chance for Raoul’s sake.
The horse broke into a canter and soared up into the air over the metal gate, clearing it easily to land with a gentle crunch in the snow. Glancing back, Sabrina patted the horse’s neck in reward and laughed. She could still do it. Ahead of her, fields of snow stretched out towards the village. They made her remember the last time she saw them, they were full of sunflowers and lavender, the air was heavenly scented with perfume. It had been so warm that day. Raoul had chased her all the way into the village, and they had laughed over fresh croissants, brioche rolls dusted with sugar and warm café ole when he eventually calmed down.