NeverEnding Maddness: A Girl Lost to the World (Frost & Flame Book 3)

by Rick Kueber

  We arrived at my home, and said good bye once again. I carried my gear inside, packed it away in the office and began to mindlessly search through the kitchen for something easy to make for dinner. I settled on spaghetti: quick, simple, and easy clean up. The best thing about a spaghetti dinner was that it was one of my son's favorites, and he would soon be home. It was hard for me to fathom, but somehow, I missed him more than usual. Every brush with the other side made me long for more time with him and made every minute and every memory with him even more precious.

  My evening with my boy was a wonderful distraction, but the evening flew by. The next two weeks seemed to pass so slowly, proving Einstein's theory of relativity. The day to day chores kept my mind focused on other things besides the Infirmary. My nights, on the other hand, were spent lying awake in bed, wondering if I slept, would I have disturbing dreams and visions, and if I stayed awake, would I be visited by Ashley Sue, or Taylor Madison? Night after night, my thoughts were the same. In those weeks, I did not sleep much, I did not dream at all, and I had no mid-night visitations.

  *** It was on a Saturday afternoon, about two weeks after I had returned home, when I made my decision to have a moment of courage. I pulled my phone from my front pocket and searched through my contacts.

  “Hey... what's up?” The soft voice on the other end was like honey, sweet and soothing.

  “Not much...” I hesitated. “I just hadn't talked to you in a while. How ya been?”

  “Not bad, I guess.” She said in a melancholy tone. “Just working and avoiding people... you know... just being me.” “Yeah, that sounds about right.” I smiled. “Well... I understand if you don't want to, but... um... would you want to go for some coffee sometime? I'd really like to talk to you about something.”

  “I dunno... sounds serious.” She teased.

  “No... it's nothing serious, I guess, mostly just going for coffee.” I didn't want to say too much in fear of being rejected.

  “Sure... when?” Her response wasn't enthusiastic by any stretch of the word, but it did seem positive.

  “Awesome.” I responded without thinking. “I mean, whenever works for you.”

  “How about tomorrow morning? 10 or so?” She asked, as if I would ever tell her no. “That sounds perfect to me.” I felt like a teenage nerd who had just scored a date with the head cheerleader, even though this wasn't a date, and we weren't teens. “I'll see you there?”

  “Yep.” She sounded pleased that we were meeting for coffee, and being perpetually ten minutes late said, “I'll text you in the morning… just in case one of us over sleeps or something.”

  “Alrighty... I look forward to it.” I said, as we ended our conversation and thought to myself... 'What a stupid thing to say! I probably sound like an idiot.' This was my typical inner monologue. I was in near constant doubt of myself. I was a roller coaster of confidence... depending on the situation, I was either overly confident, or had no selfesteem whatsoever.

  After receiving a text letting me know to meet at 10:15 am, I gave myself a once over and headed out to the coffee shop. As usual, I arrived about ten minutes early and waited in the parking lot until Tabitha arrived. I watched her sporty little Mitsubishi Eclipse pull in to a parking space near me and stepped out of my car. Walking up to the door together, I was in turmoil over what to say.

  “You look very nice.” I said the first thing that came to my mind, honest and corny as it may have sounded.

  “Thank you.” She replied with a smile, looking down at her torn jeans, and wondering if it was an empty compliment.

  “Love your hair!” Again, being blunt, yet honest. “I'm not crazy about the darker purple. It's three different shades, ya know?” She had almost always had some brilliant color in her hair; vibrant reds, pinks, blues, and purples. The purple may have been my favorite.

  I held the door for her and walked with her to the counter to order. When we had gone out in the past, I had always tried to pay but Tabitha was a very independent woman, and often paid for her own, or even paid for both of us. This morning she had given me the privilege of buying her coffee and a muffin. We sat across the small table from each other and spoke in fragmented ramblings about nothing in particular, and everything in general.

  “So... was there something you wanted to talk to me about?” She bravely asked. ' To be honest, I wanted to tell you that I have the biggest crush on you. You are an amazing woman and I am so happy to have you as my friend. I suppose I wanted to talk to you about how you felt about going out on an actual date... ' This is what I had planned to say: this is what I wanted to say: this is what I didn't say. What I did say was, “Oh, nothing really important. I was just going to ask you about the jewelry you make. I was thinking about having something made for my team using some of the semi-precious stones for healing and protection, or something like that.”

  “Oh, that's a cool idea.” Her smile had a look of relief. “I can show you some of the different stones I have and what they are used for, and we can look at different designs and styles. I think leather cord or hemp would be best. It's a good idea to stay with all natural elements.”

  She pulled a tablet from her bag and turned it on. She began to surf the internet and show me a multitude of different styles of stones and natural beads. We had a brilliant conversation filled with humor, sarcasm, education and enlightenment. Though nothing was finalized, I had an idea of a necklace or bracelet and what kind of stones would work well together. I had arrived that morning with a purpose and intent, but having Tabitha help make something for my teammates was never part of my plan. The truth was that I had made up the idea on the spot to avoid an uncomfortable situation. I did not want to put our friendship in jeopardy, and decided to simply live with my feelings, knowing that I had a friend that would stand by me through thick and thin.

  The time we spent together was energizing and always left me on a high. When we had finished, we walked out to our cars and said goodbye. I wanted to give her a friendly hug, but I could sense the awkwardness and knew it would be best if I didn't invade her personal space. I drove away happy to have been able to see her, saddened that it had already ended, and wondering if I had made the right decision to hide my feelings.

  Photo by Rick Kueber

  Chapter 15 Without Us

  The countless, lost souls of the Infirmary kept their distance from the half-dozen living beings that roamed the building. The oppressive darkness, an evil beast of negative energy, had instilled in them a fear of the human visitors. This beast had gathered every spirit to it and kept close watch over them and the six individuals that seemed as one energy, one purpose, glowing with light and positivity. When the circle of friends and light had assembled in Maddie's room, the beast decided it was time to end their need and desire to free its captive souls.

  Ashley had waited for the perfect time to present herself. This was that time. She had allowed herself to appear to be physically matured to that of a woman in her twenties. The new soul, alight with a fire that none of the Infirmary specters had experienced before, called out to Maddie from across the room. Maddie was drawn to the contrasting soul and letting her guard down, allowed herself to be seen by the living. She stepped toward the warmth of Ashley and the two drew closer together. With each step, they grew less transparent to the Infirmary visitors. The two souls approached the center of the circle of the living, in the midst of their life force, they met. With hands outstretched, they touched and Maddie immediately knew whom she had met. They digressed to their childhood, more than a century before. In an instant of clarity, all of the confusion, heartbreak and fear that had created the life of madness, the life of Maddie, disappeared. Maddie no longer existed and Taylor Madison had found herself.

  The two girls traveled back to the day they met, when Ash had given Taylor her mother's moonstone necklace to help protect her, but she had given her much more than that. She had offered her a nonjudgmental friendship. In moments their history passed before them, r
eliving every second in a flash of memory: the moment they met, every afternoon they spent together (including a time when a boy was taunting Taylor and with a touch, Ashley had set the boy's school book afire), the last day that Ash had come to school... The two girls shared their memories apart as well.

  Ashley looked on as Taylor was reprimanded by her parents for her oddity, claiming to see the dead. It was during their harsh words and abusive actions that she broke down and told them about Ashley's abilities to move things with her mind and to start fires with a touch of her hand. She wanted her parents to understand that just because she was different, she was not evil and that she was not the only person who had unique abilities. She had hoped that her parents would come to understand that her visions did not make her someone to be frightened of. A few days had passed and her parents had seemed more at ease.

  Just over two weeks had passed when Taylor's parents had told her to stay home alone while they went away for the day to take care of something important. They returned late that evening soaked by the afternoon storms.

  “It is done.” Her father said to her while he unbuttoned his damp shirt. “You must never speak of seeing someone who isn't there.” Her mother spoke to her, but would not make eye contact and scurried about gathering dry clothes for her father to put on.

  “But mother, I do not know when others do not see or hear those that I do.” Taylor debated.

  “Then you will never speak again!” Her father spat as he shouted at her in anger.

  “But why?” Taylor slumped to the floor, as the tears flowed from her eyes.

  “That devil girl... from the Helmach farm...” Her mother spoke softly, brushing Taylor's hair from her face with her fingers.

  “Yes... the church has rid the world of that witch child.” Her father had lightened his tone slightly. “Her soul is free... a cleansing by fire.”

  “What have you done?” Taylor cried out. “She was my friend.”

  “No more.” Her mother spoke solemnly. “You must not speak of her again.”

  “Then I shall never speak again.” Taylor said angrily. “That is what would please father.” “Do not speak so disrespectfully.” Her father raised his voice again, throwing his rain soaked shirt to the floor and striking Taylor across the cheek with the back of his open hand. Taylor darted into her room and threw herself onto her bed, sobbing uncontrollably. In that moment of despair, she had made a decision that would change her life forever.

  One morning, a few days later, Taylor left for the school house but never arrived. She detoured to visit a place she had never been. She followed the roads to the edge of a farm she had seen only in passing. Turning up Helmach Creek Road, her footsteps slowed. She could see the homestead in the distance, but the walk seemed never ending. When she finally arrived at the front step, the smell of dampened and burnt wood filled the air and a feeling of nausea overtook her. Taylor stood on the porch and placing her hands on the white painted sill, peered through the smoke stained front window. She could make out the layout of the front room, the remaining furnishings and the stone fireplace at the far end of the room. A charred hole had been burned completely through the floor and the ceiling was burned and blackened with smoke.

  The abandoned room began to fill with smoke. Taylor's eyes widened and she made a hissing noise, sucking the air in through her clenched teeth. Her hands tensed and her fingernails dug into the window sill, as a figure formed in the smoky room.

  “Ashley Sue! Is that you?” Taylor called out. For a brief second, Taylor thought her friend was okay and the story of her being burned as a witch was just that, a story fabricated to stifle her own ability. There was no verbal response to her question, but as the figure drew closer to the window, she could clearly see it was her only friend, Ashley.

  “Forgive me Ashley. I told...” Taylor's heart filled with terror as Ashley's eyes began to glow with an orangey fire. The room behind the little blonde haired girl filled with a massive, black shadow and Taylor knew that her friend was a ghost; her friend was dead. Taylor took a step backwards, her fingernails raking across the sill and falling to her sides. A sudden flash of light filled the room as little Ashley Sue burst into flames with a harrowing scream. Taylor stumbled back and fell from the porch, into a small shrub that grew wildly. Its barren branches tore at her dress, scratching and slicing her tender skin. Scrambling to her feet, she raced away from the house, straight into the woods. Her eyes stole glances over her shoulder as she sprinted through the brush and trees. Taylor's ankle caught a vine and sent her tumbling down a hill and into the icy cold waters of Helmach Creek.

  *** The vision of the past faded and the shadowy beast, with a swirling wave of its hand he called every shadow spirit into hiding. Ashley took the opportunity to fool her friends. With an explosive phantasm of light and sound, she and Taylor disappeared into hiding with the other souls. Ashley's living friends would soon understand what she had done and why... when it was their turn to cross over into the light. It may be fifty years or more before that time came, but to Ashley, it was no different than the next day.

  The two girls had disappeared into the dark recesses of the Infirmary basement with the lost souls, and infiltrated their company. She had allowed her energy to begin to shift from wholly positive towards the negative end of the spectrum. In this way she appeared to be falling under the influence of the evil entity, which gave it great pleasure. The living had gone and days passed as moments, while Ashley managed to touch every soul trapped in the Infirmary, showing them the slightest light, kindness, and hope. Weeks had slipped by when Ashley found the time to be exactly right to execute her plan.

  “Gather round.” Ashley called out to the souls of the Infirmary. “Draw close to me, now.”

  “The time for peace and forgiveness has come.” Taylor joined in the plea. “Family and loved ones await you in the light, and long to bring you home.” The tormented and degraded souls began to encircle the two girls, drawn by not only their words but the polar opposites of their twin souls; like the yen and yang, light and dark, the frost and the flame.

  The negative energy of the beast became enraged, feeling its century long grip over the lost souls weakening. It stretched upwards to the sky above and with a terrible, rumbling wail, put forth a final effort to bestow its fear into the spirits. Winds grew strong and swirled in a vortex around the old and decrepit building. Clouds gathered, darkening the day and hiding the sun. A cold rain began to fall with its stinging drops pelting the cracked and broken windows and walls of the Infirmary.

  “Now.” Ashley and Taylor called out together, their hands and faces upturned. “Look to the heavens with us and focus on the light above. The time is upon you to know your worth, to realize your home is not here, but in a place beyond that can only be described as love.” Ashley explained.

  One by one the shadow souls turned their spiritual eyes to the sky above and just as Ashley had promised, a brilliant point of white light appeared to them. The light grew brighter, larger, closer, and the earth began to tremble in its presence. In an instant of conclusiveness, Ashley threw her hands down to the floor beneath them and with an earshattering 'CRACK' a blinding light engulfed them. The air around the Infirmary grumbled, trailing off into the distance. The light had come and gone in a fraction of a second, and with its departure, the darkness had gone and the spirits were free.

  *** It was a glorious awakening as so many souls had crossed together. Friends, family and loved ones, some they had never met in the earthly plane but somehow knew as if they had always been together, greeted them with arms open wide and angelic choruses surrounded them.

  Amidst all of the joyous reunions, a little blonde girl and a woman with raven hair strolled together, hand in hand. Through a vale of ethereal mists, they traveled.

  “Thank you for your help and forgiveness.” Taylor said, her own voice sounded odd, yet heavenly to her. “There was nothing to forgive.” Little Ashley smiled. “Everything that happens, be
it good or bad, has a purpose that serves the good of the universe.”

  “I understand... completely.” This was not just a polite gesture. Taylor was beginning to understand everything with an unfathomable lightness of being, an all-encompassing perception.

  “It is I who should have apologized to you.” Ashley spoke to her old friend. “It was a misunderstanding and my appearance through the window that frightened you into running away and caused the pain during your time on earth.”

  “Misunderstanding?” As the word left Taylor's lips, she knew. It was not her doing, not her telling, that had caused the witch hunt of Ashley Sue Helmach. The Church of the Chosen had marked her and planned her death as an example of the power of their congregation, and it was the fear and heartbreak of Ashley's own father that allowed the travesty to occur. “Bless you dear friend. I have missed you for far too long.”

  The two embraced and the illusions of their pasts were erased as if no ill feelings had ever existed. Releasing each other, Taylor noticed a host of others had gathered around them. The girls were first approached by two individuals holding hands, an adult and a child. A heavenly light shone from behind them and radiant beams surrounded their silhouettes. Taylor rushed to meet them, instantly knowing it was her beloved Paul Martin Bailey and her child, little Jacob Madison. In the second they embraced, they were a family and Taylor realized that even though she had vanished from Paul's life, and her son had left her at far too young an age, the illusion of their broken family was the most painful deception of their lives. Whether they knew it through these difficult times or not, they were always family. More individuals came forth, Paul's parents accepted her as their own and Taylor's parents welcomed her home. Countless others greeted her in turn, the kindly old woman who nursed her back to health when she had first run away, the man who found her lying in the roadway, and so many friends and caretakers she had met in her travels. Her spirit overflowed with joy at the copious amount of friends she had made, and never realized. Her whole life she felt that Ashley was her only friend, but truly, nearly every person she met cared about her in one way or another and had compassion. It was all quite clear to her now, and as Ashley's parents and the Bettiger family joined them, a seemingly endless celebration began. When a great deal of time had passed, Ashley's mother took Taylor by the hand.