The First R. Austin Freeman Megapack: 27 Mystery Tales of Dr. Thorndyke & Others

by R. Austin Freeman

  “You are sure to do that, in any case,” I said; “but I withdraw my remark as to her temper unreservedly. And I really didn’t mean it, you know; I have always liked the little lady.”

  “That’s right; and now won’t you come in and have a few minutes’ chat with my father? We are quite early, in spite of the short cuts.”

  I assented readily, and the more so inasmuch as I wanted a few words with Miss Oman on the subject of catering and did not want to discuss it before my friends. Accordingly I went in and gossiped with Mr. Bellingham, chiefly about the work that we had done at the Museum, until it was time for me to return to the surgery.

  Having taken my leave, I walked down the stairs with reflective slowness and as much creaking of my boots as I could manage; with the result, hopefully anticipated, that as I approached the door of Miss Oman’s room it opened and the lady’s head protruded.

  “I’d change my cobbler if I were you,” she said.

  I thought of the “angelic human hedgehog,” and nearly sniggered in her face.

  “I am sure you would, Miss Oman, instantly; though, mind you, the poor fellow can’t help his looks.”

  “You are a very flippant young man,” she said severely. Whereat I grinned, and she regarded me silently with a baleful glare. Suddenly I remembered my mission and became serious and sober.

  “Miss Oman,” I said, “I very much want to take your advice on a matter of some importance—to me, at least.” (That ought to fetch her, I thought.) The “advice fly”—strangely neglected by Izaak Walton—is guaranteed to kill in any weather. And it did fetch her. She rose in a flash and gorged it, cock’s feathers, worsted body and all.

  “What is it about?” she asked eagerly. “But don’t stand out there where everybody can hear but me. Come in and sit down.”

  Now, I didn’t want to discuss the matter here, and, besides, there was not time. I therefore assumed an air of mystery.

  “I can’t, Miss Oman. I’m due at the surgery now. But if you should be passing and should have a few minutes to spare, I should be greatly obliged if you would look in. I really don’t quite know how to act.”

  “No, I expect not. Men very seldom do. But you’re better than most, for you know when you are in difficulties and have the sense to consult a woman. But what is it about? Perhaps I might be thinking it over.”

  “Well, you know,” I began evasively, “it’s a simple matter, but I can’t very well—no, by Jove!” I added, looking at my watch, “I must run, or I shall keep the multitude waiting.” And with this I bustled away, leaving her literally dancing with curiosity.

  CHAPTER IX

  THE SPHINX OF LINCOLN’S INN

  At the age of twenty-six one cannot claim to have attained to the position of a person of experience. Nevertheless, the knowledge of human nature accumulated in that brief period sufficed to make me feel pretty confident that, at some time during the evening, I should receive a visit from Miss Oman. And circumstances justified my confidence; for the clock yet stood at two minutes to seven when a premonitory tap at the surgery door heralded her arrival.

  “I happened to be passing,” she explained, and I forbore to smile at the coincidence, “so I thought I might as well drop in and hear what you wanted to ask me about.”

  She seated herself in the patients’ chair and, laying a bundle of newspapers on the table, glared at me expectantly.

  “Thank you, Miss Oman,” I said. “It is very good of you to look in on me. I am ashamed to give you all this trouble about such a trifling matter.”

  She rapped her knuckles impatiently on the table.

  “Never mind about the trouble,” she exclaimed tartly. “What—is—it—that—you—want—to—ask—me about?”

  I stated my difficulties in respect of the supper-party, and, as I proceeded, an expression of disgust and disappointment spread over her countenance. “I don’t see why you need have been so mysterious about it,” she said glumly.

  “I didn’t mean to be mysterious; I was only anxious not to make a mess of the affair. It’s all very fine to assume a lofty scorn of the pleasures of the table, but there is great virtue in a really good feed, especially when low-living and high-thinking have been the order of the day.”

  “Coarsely put,” said Miss Oman, “but perfectly true.”

  “Very well. Now, if I leave the management to Mrs. Gummer, she will probably provide a tepid Irish stew with flakes of congealed fat on it, and a plastic suet-pudding or something of that kind, and turn the house upside-down in getting it ready. So I thought of having a cold spread and getting the things in from outside. But I don’t want it to look as if I had been making enormous preparations.”

  “They won’t think the things came down from heaven,” said Miss Oman.

  “No, I suppose they won’t. But you know what I mean. Now, where do you advise me to go for the raw materials of conviviality?”

  Miss Oman reflected. “You’d better let me do your shopping and manage the whole business,” was her final verdict.

  This was precisely what I had wanted, and I accepted thankfully, regardless of the feelings of Mrs. Gummer. I handed her two pounds, and, after some protests at my extravagance, she bestowed them in her purse; a process that occupied time, since that receptacle, besides and time-stained bills, already bulged with a lading of draper’s samples, ends of tape, a card of linen buttons, another of hooks and eyes, a lump of beeswax, a rat-eaten stump of lead-pencil, and other trifles that I have forgotten. As she closed the purse at the imminent risk of wrenching off its fastenings she looked at me severely and pursed up her lips.

  “You’re a very plausible young man,” she remarked.

  “What makes you say that?” I asked.

  “Philandering about museums,” she continued, “with handsome young ladies on the pretence of work. Work, indeed! Oh, I heard her telling her father about it. She thinks you were perfectly enthralled by the mummies and dried cats and chunks of stone and all the other trash. She doesn’t know what humbugs men are.”

  “Really, Miss Oman—” I began.

  “Oh, don’t talk to me!” she snapped. “I can see it all. You can’t impose on me. I can see you staring into those glass cases, egging her on to talk and listening open-mouthed and bulging-eyed and sitting at her feet—now, didn’t you?”

  “I don’t know about sitting at her feet,” I said, “though it might easily have come to that with those infernal slippery floors; but I had a very jolly time, and I mean to go again if I can. Miss Bellingham is the cleverest and most accomplished woman I have ever spoken to.”

  This was a poser for Miss Oman, whose admiration and loyalty, I knew, were only equalled by my own. She would have liked to contradict me, but the thing was impossible. To cover her defeat she snatched up the bundle of newspapers and began to open them out.

  “What sort of stuff is ‘hibernation’?” she demanded suddenly.

  “Hibernation!” I exclaimed.

  “Yes. They found a patch of it on a bone that was discovered in a pond at St. Mary Cray, and a similar patch on one that was found at some place in Essex. Now, I want to know what ‘hibernation’ is.”

  “You must mean ‘eburnation,’” I said, after a moment’s reflection.

  “The newspapers say ‘hibernation,’ and I suppose they know what they are talking about. If you don’t know what it is, don’t be ashamed to say so.”

  “Well, then, I don’t.”

  “In that case you’d better read the papers and find out,” she said, a little illogically. And then: “Are you fond of murders? I am, awfully.”

  “What a shocking little ghoul you must be!” I exclaimed.

  She stuck out her chin at me. “I’ll trouble you,” she said, “to be a little more respectful in your language. Do you realise that I am old enough to be your mother?”

  “Impossible!” I ejaculated.

  “Fact,” said Miss Oman.

  “Well, anyhow,” said I, “age is not the onl
y qualification. And, besides, you are too late for the billet. The vacancy’s filled.”

  Miss Oman slapped the papers down on the table and rose abruptly.

  “You had better read the papers and see if you can learn a little sense,” she said severely as she turned to go. “Oh, and don’t forget the finger!” she added eagerly. “That is really thrilling.”

  “The finger?” I repeated.

  “Yes. They found a hand with one finger missing. The police think it is a highly important clue. I don’t know quite what they mean; but you read the account and tell me what you think.”

  With this parting injunction she bustled out through the surgery, and I followed to bid her a ceremonious adieu on the doorstep. I watched her little figure tripping with quick, birdlike steps down Fetter Lane, and was about to turn back into the surgery when my attention was attracted by the evolutions of an elderly gentleman on the opposite side of the street. He was a somewhat peculiar-looking man, tall, gaunt, and bony, and the way in which he carried his head suggested to the medical mind a pronounced degree of near sight and a pair of “deep” spectacle glasses. Suddenly he espied me and crossed the road with his chin thrust forward and a pair of keen blue eyes directed at me through the centres of his spectacles.

  “I wonder if you can and will help me,” said he, with a courteous salute. “I wish to call on an acquaintance, and I have forgotten his address. It is in some court, but the name of that court has escaped me for the moment. My friend’s name is Bellingham. I suppose you don’t chance to know it? Doctors know a great many people, as a rule.”

  “Do you mean Mr. Godfrey Bellingham?”

  “Ah! Then you do know him. I have not consulted the oracle in vain. He is a patient of yours, no doubt?”

  “A patient and a personal friend. His address is Forty-nine Nevill’s Court.”

  “Thank you, thank you. Oh, and as you are a friend, perhaps you can inform me as to the customs of the household. I am not expected, and I do not wish to make an untimely visit. What are Mr. Bellingham’s habits as to his evening meal? Would this be a convenient time to call?”

  “I generally make my evening visits a little later than this—say about half-past eight; they have finished their meal by then.”

  “Ah! Half-Past eight, then? Then I suppose I had better take a walk until that time. I don’t want to disturb them.”

  “Would you care to come in and smoke a cigar until it is time to make your call? If you would, I could walk over with you and show you the house.”

  “That is very kind of you,” said my new acquaintance, with an inquisitive glance at me through his spectacles. “I think I should like to sit down. It’s a dull affair, mooning about the streets, and there isn’t time to go back to my chambers—in Lincoln’s Inn.”

  “I wonder,” said I, as I ushered him into the room lately vacated by Miss Oman, “if you happen to be Mr. Jellicoe?”

  He turned his spectacles full on me with a keen, suspicious glance. “What makes you think I am Mr. Jellicoe?” he asked.

  “Oh, only that you live in Lincoln’s Inn.”

  “Ha! I see. I live in Lincoln’s Inn; Mr. Jellicoe lives in Lincoln’s Inn; therefore I am Mr. Jellicoe. Ha! Ha! Bad logic, but a correct conclusion. Yes, I am Mr. Jellicoe. What do you know about me?”

  “Mighty little, excepting that you were the late John Bellingham’s man of business.”

  “The ‘late John Bellingham,’ hey! How do you know he is the late John Bellingham?”

  “As a matter of fact, I don’t; only I rather understood that that was your own belief.”

  “You understood! Now, from whom did you ‘understand’ that? From Godfrey Bellingham? H’m! And how did he know what I believe? I never told him. It is a very unsafe thing, my dear sir, to expound another man’s beliefs.”

  “Then you think that John Bellingham is alive?”

  “Do I? Who said so? I did not, you know.”

  “But he must be either dead or alive.”

  “There,” said Mr. Jellicoe, “I am entirely with you. You have stated an undeniable truth.”

  “It is not a very illuminating one, however,” I replied, laughing.

  “Undeniable truths often are not,” he retorted. “They are apt to be extremely general. In fact, I would affirm that the certainty of the truth of a given proposition is directly proportional to its generality.”

  “I suppose that is so,” said I.

  “Undoubtedly. Take an instance from your own profession. Given a million normal human beings under twenty, and you can say with certainty that a majority of them will die before reaching a certain age, that they will die in certain circumstances and of certain diseases. Then take a single unit from that million, and what can you predict concerning him? Nothing. He may die tomorrow; he may live to a couple of hundred. He may die of a cold in the head or a cut finger, or from falling off the cross of St. Paul’s. In a particular case you can predict nothing.”

  “That is perfectly true,” said I. And then, realising that I had been led away from the topic of John Bellingham, I ventured to return to it.

  “That was a very mysterious affair—the disappearance of John Bellingham, I mean.”

  “Why mysterious?” asked Mr. Jellicoe. “Men disappear from time to time, and when they reappear, the explanations that they give (when they give any) seem to be more or less adequate.”

  “But the circumstances were surely rather mysterious.”

  “What circumstances?” asked Mr. Jellicoe.

  “I mean the way in which he vanished from Mr. Hurst’s house.”

  “In what way did he vanish from it?”

  “Well, of course, I don’t know.”

  “Precisely. Neither do I. Therefore I can’t say whether that way was a mysterious one or not.”

  “It is not even certain that he did leave it,” I remarked, rather recklessly.

  “Exactly,” said Mr. Jellicoe. “And if he did not, he is there still. And if he is there still, he has not disappeared—in the sense understood. And if he has not disappeared, there is no mystery.”

  I laughed heartily, but Mr. Jellicoe preserved a wooden solemnity and continued to examine me through his spectacles (which I, in my turn, inspected and estimated at about minus five dioptres). There was something highly diverting about this grim lawyer, with his dry contentiousness and almost farcical caution. His ostentatious reserve encouraged me to ply him with fresh questions, the more indiscreet the better.

  “I suppose,” said I, “that, under these circumstances, you would hardly favour Mr. Hurst’s proposal to apply for permission to presume death?”

  “Under what circumstances?” he inquired.

  “I was referring to the doubt you have expressed as to whether John Bellingham is, after all, really dead.”

  “My dear sir,” said he, “I fail to see your point. If it were certain that the man was alive, it would be impossible to presume that he was dead; and if it were certain that he was dead, presumption of death would still be impossible. You do not presume a certainty. The uncertainty is of the essence of the transaction.”

  “But,” I persisted, “if you really believe that he may be alive, I should hardly have thought that you would take the responsibility of presuming his death and dispersing his property.”

  “I don’t,” said Mr. Jellicoe. “I take no responsibility. I act in accordance with the decision of the Court and have no choice in the matter.”

  “But the Court may decide that he is dead and he may nevertheless be alive.”

  “Not at all. If the Court decides that he is presumably dead, then he is presumably dead. As a mere irrelevant, physical circumstance he may, it is true, be alive. But legally speaking, and for testamentary purposes, he is dead. You fail to perceive the distinction, no doubt?”

  “I am afraid I do,” I admitted.

  “Yes; members of your profession usually do. That is what makes them such bad witnesses in a court of law. The scientific
outlook is radically different from the legal. The man of science relies on his own knowledge and observation and judgment, and disregards testimony. A man comes to you and tells you he is blind in one eye. Do you accept his statement? Not in the least. You proceed to test his eyesight with some infernal apparatus of coloured glasses, and you find that he can see perfectly well with both eyes. Then you decide that he is not blind in one eye; that is to say, you reject his testimony in favour of facts of your own ascertaining.”

  “But surely that is the rational method of coming to a conclusion?”

  “In science, no doubt. Not in law. A court of law must decide according to the evidence which is before it; and that evidence is of the nature of sworn testimony. If a witness is prepared to swear that black is white, and no evidence to the contrary is offered, the evidence before the Court is that black is white, and the Court must decide accordingly. The judge and the jury may think otherwise—they may even have private knowledge to the contrary—but they have to decide according to the evidence.”

  “Do you mean to say that a judge would be justified in giving a decision which he knew privately to be contrary to the facts? Or that he might sentence a man whom he knew to be innocent?”

  “Certainly. It has been done. There is a case of a judge who sentenced a man to death and allowed the execution to take place, notwithstanding that he—the judge—had actually seen the murder committed by another man. But that was carrying correctness of procedure to the verge of pedantry.”

  “It was, with a vengeance,” I agreed. “But to return to the case of John Bellingham. Supposing that after the Court has decided that he is dead he should turn up alive? What then?”

  “Ah! It would then be his turn to make an application, and the Court, having fresh evidence laid before it, would probably decide that he was alive.”

  “And meantime his property would have been dispersed?”

  “Probably. But you will observe that the presumption of death would have arisen out of his own proceedings. If a man acts in such a way as to create a belief that he is dead, he must put up with the consequences.”