by S. L. Giger
‘Too bad, but at least now I can go fish it out with the net. I love to do that.’ She said.
And I can perfectly understand that because when I was little and came here with my mom we always accidentally hit the ball into the water, that I could go and be an adventurer, poke around in the muddy water with the net on a stick and catch the balls. Fiona got hers and tried again.
‘Shoot, I honestly don’t know why that didn’t work’. She exclaimed after it splashed a second time. She looked like she was a little mad at herself. Thus, I took the net and fished her green ball out of the water. I even polished it with a tissue before I handed it back to her.
‘Voilà, here you go.’ I smiled.
She put it on the white spot and placed her body in the same position again. Now I felt like I had to step in.
‘Hold on a second, Fiona, like that you will miss the port again. You need to turn your body a little.’
She moved her feet a few times. ‘Like that?’
‘Not exactly... Let me show you.’
And with that I stepped close behind her, put my arms around her to grip the bat, or I rather laid my hands loose on hers. Being so close to her, the sweet smell of her hair was much more intense. I hardly had the heart to breathe. I didn’t want this moment to pass, touching her, her body against mine. Finally, I composed myself enough to help her with her shot. I turned my head a little to the left, towards the porthole. Now my chin was touching the side of her head.
‘Okay, good, now we’re facing the right direction. Let’s do this together, on three.’
And together we swung the club three times and then hit. The ball flew right into the window. I was pleased but did not want to unfasten this hug yet. But then she turned and since I still had my hands on her bat she was even closer to me now, facing me directly. Smiling and with a sparkle in her eyes she gave me a kiss on the cheek and whispered a thank you. I could only nod in response, as stunned as I was. It was unbelievable what an impact this girl had on me. When I woke from my petrification, she had moved on to the deck already. I swallowed and concentrated on making my excitement go away.
When it was my turn, I managed my first hole-in-one.
‘There is a reason that this is my favourite lane.' I said. ‘And simply wait until we get to the 18th hole. I can’t go wrong there either.’
‘I guess from now on I have to put some effort into this, to keep up with you. Before, I did not want to show off and leave you so far behind.’ She winked.
‘Oh yeah? That was very kind of you but we will see who is the winner in the end!’
‘We will see.’ And with that she walked to the next lane, where she had to wait for me because it was my turn first.
We never finished the game. When we arrived at lane 15, big rain drops started falling heavily from the sky.
‘Ahh.’ She screamed, trying to cover her head with her hands.
This made me laugh because it was useless with these huge drops.
Fiona shrugged and started laughing as well.
‘Let’s hurry back to the car.’ I yelled though the patter of the rain.
We started running but there wasn’t much of a use when heaven opened its water gates like this. On the way to the entrance, we passed a toolshed with a small canopy.
‘Let’s wait under a roof until the sky clears a little.’ She yelled to dominate the power of the rain.
‘Holy cow, what the hell is that?’ I wrung out the front of my pullover and water ran out as if it was a wet face cloth.
Fiona was busy with trying not to choke on a laughing fit and therefore resting her back to the house wall. When she could breathe about normal again she pressed out, ‘I don’t know, it’s crazy. I don’t think I’ve ever seen so much rain in my life.’
She combed through her hair with her hands and afterward let it fall loosely over her shoulders and her back which made her look extremely sexy. I stepped closer to wipe away the black tear which rolled down her cheek since her eye makeup couldn’t hold out against all this water. I held her face in my hands. Our faces were so close that I could feel the warm air of her unsteady breathing brush against my skin. This on the other hand made me hold my breath. She looked directly into my eyes. Her mouth was half open and it looked so inviting to be kissed. So, I slowly lifted up her chin a little more and bent in to meet her lips with mine. I simply enjoyed the soft touch of her mouth. When I opened my eyes again hers were still closed. She opened them with one of these commercial looks while a smile played on her lips. I leaned in to kiss her again. This time she put her arms around my neck. Our whole bodies were touching now. I could feel her body heat through our wet clothes and I never wanted this embrace to stop. I traced her neck with my hand and a little further down. Certainly, I would have loved to touch her breasts; I could feel them rub against me even better since her clothes were clinched against her skin. But I didn’t dare to touch them because I was afraid I would lose control over myself. So my hand wandered to her back.
I lost track of time, I don’t know how long we had been standing there like that. It was one of these magical moments when the world stops moving and everything goes quiet. It was only us and this moment. When we stopped kissing eventually, she drew her head back, at least as far as it was possible with the wall right behind her, and stammered ‘wow’.
Yeah, that was all I could think of too. It was still raining, but not pouring cats and dogs anymore and so we headed to the car to get to a dry place.
In the car, I handed her my dry sweater. ‘Here, put this on, it will warm you up faster.’ I turned on the heat as well.
‘Thanks. But don’t you need it?’ She asked.
‘I’m okay, just let me do this to have some of your warmth.’ I reached out for her hand. She smiled and our fingers entwined like it was the most natural thing. Then, she leaned back and closed her eyes. Her face took on a serious expression.
‘What are you thinking?’ I asked.
She opened her eyes. ‘What am I going to tell Ryan? I just kissed you although I have a boyfriend. That’s so not like me.’ She let go of my hand.
No, no, no, I thought. This had just been so perfect.
‘What do you want to tell him?’ My stomach cramped up.
She brought a hand to her mouth. ‘I don’t know. I like him.’ She paused. ‘But I also like you. Then again, I don’t know you that well yet. Was I crazy to kiss you?’
‘No, Fiona. To me, this wasn’t just a kiss with a person I only know for a too short amount of time. It was an expression of feelings. I had to kiss you because there are no words for how attractive and interesting I think you are and I don’t think I’ve ever laughed so much with a girl just having a simple conversation.’
She bit her lower lip.
I continued. ‘To me, this is not a game anymore. I know I said we can just meet casually but actually, I want more. I want you to be my girlfriend and I want to be able to tell it to the whole world.’
She gave a short laugh, but a tear rolled down her cheek. ‘I’m sorry, you shouldn’t have to see this.’
I gave a crooked smile, not knowing what to say. She looked really cute in my oversized sweater. Like a wrapped teddy bear.
‘I will need to have a serious talk with Ryan.’ She swallowed. ‘I can’t be with him anymore. Not after kissing you. But I don’t want to make you any promises yet. I have to think this through first.’
‘Um, okay.’ My insides were all tensed up. I still had no idea where this would leave me with her.
‘But you are very sweet.’ She continued and squeezed my hand. ‘This kiss before was something special. I couldn’t stop myself. It was as if a magnetic force pulled me towards you.’ I saw something flicker in her eyes. Instantly, the atmosphere in the car changed again and I felt a new desire to kiss her. But we endured the tension and only relived the memory of the kiss we had shared in the rain.
‘I wished I knew what to say to convince yo
u here and now that I am the right one for you.’ I said.
She smiled weakly.
‘Shall I drive you home?’ I asked.
She nodded.
When we arrived at her house, we didn’t delay saying goodbye for much longer. She kissed me on the cheek. What a setback.
When she was half way to her house she came back and opened my car door.
‘I almost forgot your sweater.’
‘Keep it. I hope you will personally give it back to me another time.’ I managed a smile.
‘I’ll call you.’ She said and left me sitting alone in my car.
I watched her disappear in her house. When the door closed, I exhaled like it seemed for the first time in the last hour and leaned back in my seat. Oh what a night, I shook my head.
Chapter 6
I waited. It was torture but I trusted Fiona that she would call when she was ready.
On All Saints' Day, I accompanied my mom to visit my dad and my grandparents. I don’t like going to the graveyard. I can think of my dad and remember him and my grandparents without having to stand in front of a stone with their names engraved on them. But we’re Catholic and my mom somehow still hadn’t lost her faith in God after everything HE put her through.
I waited some more.
‘Do you think I should call her?’ I asked Eric. We were in gym class and the goal was to do as many crunches in three minutes as possible.
‘You can never call a girl too much.’ He wheezed.
‘But she might find it annoying if I call. Or she finds me too attached and chickens out. She said she would call.’
‘So, wait. But how long has it been now?’ He fell back on the mat.
‘4 days.’ I said.
‘I’d call her tomorrow. She cannot play with you like this.’
I fell back to the ground as well. ‘You are right. I’m behaving like a victim here. I can influence her choice.’ I tried to put that thought aside for a moment. ‘By the way, my mom and I are coming to your premier next week.’
‘Great. I know you will be bored but I appreciate that.’ He lifted his fist and I pounded it. ‘I’ll remember you when I win my first Oscar.’
Later that day, I actually thought that I had waited enough and picked up the phone with sweaty hands.
‘Hey.’ Fiona picked up and I couldn’t detect in her voice whether she was happy or bothered.
‘Hey, stranger.’ I said.
‘I’m sorry, that I haven’t called yet. It just has been a lot to deal with.’ She breathed. ‘But it’s nice to hear from you.’
‘I thought I should remind you that I still exist.’
‘How could I forget you?’ I detected a smile in her voice. ‘Could we perhaps meet? I find it odd to discuss this on the phone.’
Meet? My heart leapt. If she wanted to see me, that could only be a good sign. Half an hour later we met at Milburn Creek Park to go for a walk. When I arrived, she was there already, leaning against her family’s car in a green fall coat, hands in the pockets.
‘Hi. Good to see you.’ I said.
‘Yes, thanks for coming.’
We started walking without anybody saying anything further. I started to become nervous again.
‘So, what didn’t you want to tell me on the phone?’ I asked and looked at her.
She stopped walking. ‘I broke up with Ryan.’
Yes! My insides jumped.
‘Once I was home after our kiss, everything was clear. All I wanted was to run back to you and prolong our time together. I couldn’t stay with him. I don’t love him.’ She made big eyes. ‘He was very mad and yelled at me for like an hour. My friends think I’m crazy. Status is everything to them. It was to me as well but you,’ she pointed at me, ‘you are something else. We can have actual conversations. I feel like I can be myself with you and despite that, you seem to like me.’ She laughed shyly.
‘Should I be offended, that you kind of just said that being with me is downgrading your status?’ I asked.
‘I didn’t mean it like this. But Ryan is the captain of the football team. Why would I give him up for someone from a different school, I hardly know?’ She shrugged.
‘To be with somebody who cares about you?’ I stated.
‘Mh, good point.’ She swallowed. ‘So, what now?’
‘Now, you need to give me your hands.’ I held out my hands.
She put hers into mine with questioning eyes.
This simple touch made me dizzy for a moment. I brought her hands together and kissed them. ‘I needed something to hold on to, to convince myself that I am not dreaming. I could skip along the path.’ I pulled her a few steps and she laughed.
‘Does this mean, I get to call you my girlfriend now and I can take you on dates whenever I want?’
‘I guess so.’ She bit her lower lip.
‘We need something to make this official. To have a clean start after all this confusion.’ I said.
‘Like what?’ She asked, still holding my hand.
‘Like carving a heart with our initials in the tree for example.’ I suggested.
‘Poor tree.’ Her eyes turned to the right corner as she thought about another possibility. ‘I have a small padlock in my car to use for my sports locker. We could carve into that and hang it up somewhere.’
‘Good idea.’ We walked back to the car, hand in hand and then I carved an F and a + onto the lock with my car key and she added a K.
‘Kind of cheesy.’ I said.
‘But also very romantic.’ She laughed. ‘Where shall we put it?’
‘How about right at the start of this trail. Here is the first time we’ve talked to each other.’
We clipped it to a fence.
‘What do we do with the key?’ She asked.
‘I guess we throw it in the bin. I hope we won’t need to open it anymore.’
Her eyes sparkled. ‘Okay.’ She dropped the key into the garbage. I smiled and lifted her up and once her feet were back on the ground I brought my mouth closer to hers and I felt free and invincible when I kissed her.
‘I’m glad you needed something to drink that day.’ She said, her face flushed.
‘Glad is an understatement. I don’t think I’ve ever been so happy in my life.’
As an answer, she kissed me again.
Chapter 7
Our relationship didn’t fade out over the months like other High School romances but it became deeper and more familiar.
In our spare time next to school and x-country practice we were practically inseparable. When I once preferred going jogging by myself to sort out my thoughts, I now missed something if I didn’t hear the steady breathing of Fiona next to me. The same thing happened with trips to the mall. Before, the only stores I was interested in were the ones with sports and outdoor equipment and of course music. So, I was in and out of these ugly buildings like a bat out of hell. Now, I could spend a whole day, strolling from one shop to the other, watching Fiona’s eyes beam when she spotted something she liked and it made me feel proud and manly when I apparently said the right thing to her after she came out of the changing room. No matter what I did, doing it with Fiona by my side, it was simply so much more colorful and a lot more fun.
With Fiona, everything seemed natural and in the ways she looked at me, snuggled into my arms and told me every little detail of her day, I knew that she trusted me just as much as I trusted her.
This trust was probably the reason why also the sexual part of our relationship was better than anything I had ever experienced. We both had had our first times with someone else and that was okay. Therefore, we didn’t make a big fuss about our first time together. Or we pretended not to, because I can assure you, I was more nervous than ever when I realized that it would come to it.
We were watching a movie on my bed. She was leaning against me, her fingers wandering over my chest in an agreeable rhythm. Unfortunately, this scene then got disturbed by
the vibration of my phone in my pocket. I sat up so that I could check who it was. Eric – who else? Fiona paused the film and I picked up. He asked whether we also wanted to grab a bite. Exchanging a glance with Fiona I saw that she wasn’t averse to taking up the film at a later point and so I told him that we’d be there in half an hour.
‘Just give me 5 minutes, I want to take a shower before we leave.’ I kissed her on her forehead.
When I got back in the room, rubbing my hair dry with a towel, Fiona watched me with a curious look on her face. Also, it confused me that she was chewing her lower lip.
‘What?’ I stopped rubbing my hair.
Slowly, her long legs felt the floor and she got out of bed. As if she had all the time in the world, she approached me.
‘How about, we let Eric and Lea wait a little?’ A nervous smile flickered over her mouth.
I felt the atmosphere in the room changing. It suddenly felt about 50 degrees hotter. Did she seriously just suggest what I think she did? She paused, and I felt urged to make the next move. It was as if the air became too thick to breathe. I swallowed and took a step closer to her, dropping the towel to the floor. My heart was racing and I couldn’t explain myself why. I had done this before hadn’t I? But I’ve never felt so excited about it. I actually had to control myself not to explode right then and there. I pulled her towards me and twirled her hair in my fingers. She lay her hands on my waist. They felt refreshingly cold. The kisses that followed were different from how we had kissed before. More intimate. It was as if we were expressing through our kisses what we hadn’t dared to put into words yet. I’d never have thought that slowly undressing each other could be so sexy. Fiona in all her nudity was even prettier than with clothes on although I hardly thought that possible. What I could understand the least was, that she looked embarrassed for a moment. How could anyone with such a perfect body be self-conscious about herself?
