Always Tried and Proven

by Nancy Hopper

  Sam looked across the sea of faces, and saw a jacket that caught his eye. “Young man -- yes, you in the silver jacket. You have the letters ‘CW’ on your jacket. Will you share with us what these letters mean?”

  A young cowboy stood, and tipped his hat respectfully at Sam. “Yes, sir. I’m in a Country dance club, sir. The letters just stand for Country Western.” He said. Then, he sat down.

  “Country Western.” Sam repeated thoughtfully. “Thank you. Country Western.” A light came on in Sam’s eyes. He looked at his feet for a moment as he said the words again. “Country Western?” he muttered under his breath in amazement. Then, he looked up and stared Callie right in the eyes, like a dagger of truth, and discernment. “Callie Wilson.” Though he hadn’t spoken her name, Callie knew, and he knew. She was the one.

  Her face was white as a sheet. She gave Sam a frightened stare, and then she whirled, and fled from the tent.

  “Please, everyone pray.” Sam urged fervently. “Please, will you all pray now, for this precious, lovely young woman.”

  Callie heard his words, and began to weep as she ran for her car. She couldn’t block out the look of amazement and betrayal in Sam’s eyes when he’d realized that she was the one She hated it. Hated it!

  When he knew that she was gone, Sam spoke again. “Thank you for your prayers.” He said quietly. “I know now who this young lady is. She has run away, yet again tonight. I have a feeling that she won’t return to the tent. She’s too afraid, and she knows that her identity has been discovered. But I cannot impress upon you how important this is ... We covet your prayers on her behalf. A very vital place … waits for this young lady.” He said carefully.

  Sam went on with the service. He just dug deeper into God, and somehow he had the strength and focus to carry him through the night.

  Callie was miserable, that night at the club. It was much worse than the previous night. It seemed that everything was falling apart, and she felt horrible about what had happened between her and Sam. And now, he knew that she was the one who had been so evasive, despite his pleas for her to come forward.

  There had been such a deep hope in Sam’s eyes, when he’d finally realized what ‘CW’ stood for. She had watched the hope kindle, and then slowly die as she backed away. She kept seeing over and over the harsh weariness and disappointment settle in, to replace the hope that dwindled in his eyes.

  And then, Sadie came into the club, just before her last set. She walked right up to the stage and fixed her eyes on Callie. “Hi, honey. How are you?” she asked sweetly.

  “Fine, Sadie. Why are you here?”

  “I haven't heard your band, live. And, I thought maybe you could use a little company tonight.” She waved, and made her way to a table.

  “Who is she?” Sean asked Callie with interest. “Didn’t she come to the rehearsal the other day?”

  “She’s just an old school friend.” Callie answered darkly.

  After they’d finished for the night, Sean made a beeline for Sadie. Callie growled in frustration, and followed him. She could have kicked Sean as she recognized the symptoms of a significant interest building toward Sadie.

  Jimmie intercepted, and took Callie by the arm. “Cal, I want to talk to you.” He insisted.

  “Okay, shoot.” Callie agreed tiredly.

  “No, not here. In private.” Jimmie insisted.

  Callie pressed her lips tightly together, and followed him to the area behind the stage. “Okay, Jimmie. What’s up?”

  “I want to know what’s happening with you, Callie. What’s with you and that Sam guy? Ever since he first showed up, you’ve been unhappy. Who is he?”

  Callie sighed and brushed her hair off her forehead. “Jimmie, I appreciate your concern, but you have got to stay out of this. I want you to leave Sam alone and I want you to leave me alone.”

  “I have a right to know, Callie.” He insisted hotly.

  “Really? And what gives you that right? I certainly didn’t.” she sneered.

  “Callie, before he came, we were close.” Jimmie huffed.

  “Friends, Jimmie. We were close friends. I’m very sorry if you thought there was anything else. We’ve never kissed, we’ve never even gone out on a date. I don’t answer to you.”

  Jimmie looked extremely upset. “Callie, I was just waiting for the right time. I didn’t know you were looking for some big, handsome guy with an Australian accent to sweep you off your feet! But I’ll kiss you now, and I don’t mind letting you know you belong to me. You’re mine, and I am not going to let you just walk away!”

  “Jimmie, no.” Callie groaned, as he grabbed her arms. He yanked her close and kissed her brutally, with anger and bitterness, and force. Callie felt her teeth smashed against the inside of her upper lip. She was not impressed.

  When Jimmie finally released her, she slapped him so hard that his head snapped sideways. A blistering anger filled his face, and he reached for Callie again, eyes narrowed. “I’ll teach you to mess with me, you …”

  Jimmie’s forward motion was suddenly halted and he froze, a gasp escaping his lips. Callie looked up to see his arm twisted behind his back, at an obviously awkward and painful angle.

  “You will apologize to the lady.” Sam said in a low voice.

  “You can kiss … ow! Oh! Stop it.” Jimmie howled.

  “Now.” Sam ordered coldly.

  “Sorry! I’m sorry.” He gasped, sweat beading on his forehead.

  “Promise you won’t bother her again.” Sam suggested smoothly.

  “I won’t. Fine.” He agreed quickly.

  Sam released Jimmie’s arm, but he was poised and ready to go at it again, if necessary.

  “I was wondering when you’d show up.” Jimmie sneered.

  “I can always expect such a warm reception from you.” Sam answered lightly. He was watching Callie, who would not look at him.

  “Callie, are you going to settle this?” Jimmie asked angrily. “Will you tell him to get lost, and to quit interfering with our relationship?”

  Callie stared at her shoes and thought carefully about her answer. “Jimmie, you and I don’t have a relationship, when we step off this stage. I didn’t realize that you thought we did. I’m sorry. You’re a great bass player, and I enjoy having you in the band. That’s all.”

  “And what about him?” he challenged bitterly.

  “That is none of your business.” Callie answered carefully.

  “I see. Well, then, I’ll be moving along. I’d appreciate my pay for the week, and I hope you’ll understand why I’m not giving you any notice.”

  Callie closed her eyes. “Jimmie, this is unethical. We signed a contract here until the end of the month. I can’t just produce another bass player without any notice. I told you when you joined the band, that I don't date band members. I need your services, and you promised to give them until proper notice is given.”

  “Tough.” He snapped.

  “Well, I don’t have the money to pay you for the week. When I get paid, you’ll get paid.” She said evenly.

  “Fine. You have my address, you can mail it to me.” Jimmie snapped. They watched him walk out, and then Sam turned to Callie gently.

  “I’m sorry, Callie. I didn’t mean for that to happen. I just couldn't stand by and watch him force himself on you.”

  “Yeah, I know. Don’t worry about it. It wasn’t your fault.” She sighed. “Actually, I’m grateful that you came. He was getting a bit out of hand.”

  “I noticed.” Sam said quietly. “Callie, are you all right?”

  “Sure.” She assured him shortly.

  “Will you look at me, for a second?” he asked tenderly. His hand cupped her chin, and lifted her face.

  She forced herself to look up into Sam’s eyes. The love that waited for her in their depths cut her to the quick. She shuddered, and closed her eyes. The wall that Callie had tried to build between them, tumbled. Sam drew her into his arms and held her comfortingly.

 
; “I love you, Callie.” He said quietly. “I’m sorry for everything. I never meant to put you in a difficult situation. Please, forgive me.”

  Tears sprang to her eyes, and she bit back a sob of pain. He just held her for a long, long time. Finally, he lifted her face to his, and kissed her softly. Gently. Tenderly. It was undoing her heart. When he stopped, she buried her face against his chest and let him hold her, again.

  “Callie, do you think that you could ever love me?” he asked quietly.

  Callie shook her head, and looked up at him. “Don’t you know I do?” she asked incredulously.

  “I don’t know for certain.” He answered slowly. “I can't be sure, yet. Every time I get close to you, you run. I know that you would have accepted me for the night last night, but I’m asking about a lifetime. It’s a bit of a different thing.”

  Callie looked into his eyes and saw the pain, the uncertainty. She hung her head. “Oh, Sam. I’m so sorry. I do love you. I love you madly.”

  “Then, will you marry me?” he asked gently.

  Callie stared up at him, eyes and mouth wide open. “You’re not serious!” she denied.

  Sam shook his head, to reassure her that he was quite serious. “Callie, I’ll give you whatever you need. You can keep your band, you can keep your life. Everything will work out, in time. I’m not making any demands, except that you love me, and be faithful. Beyond that, your life will still be your own. But right now, I can't do without you anymore. Callie, you're the only one for me. Let's settle that much, love. Please."

  Tears blinded Callie’s eyes. “Oh, Sam. Sam, you’re so wonderful. But you know better! You know that what I do for a living would destroy your ministry. People would never accept it. And I’m not ready to choose, yet. I can’t help it, Sam. I need more time.”

  Sam pressed his lips together, and lowered his eyes. “I wish you wouldn’t complicate this, Callie. Your career is not evil. You don't ever do anything wrong. The truth would make itself known, Callie, it always does. We could have a quiet marriage, and not many would have to know. You could go on with your music for as long as you want to. I promise.”

  “Sam, no! You know that wouldn’t work. People would find out. They’d roast you. You can’t marry a woman who’s an unsaved honky-tonk singer. It would be the end of the tent. It would totally discredit you. I love you, but I can’t do that to you.”

  Sam sighed heavily. “Callie, could you please consider letting me pray for you, then? All these things that the Lord showed me about you, are very important. Can't you trust me, to pray about it with you?”

  Callie shook her head. “Sam; I don’t know how you found out these things about me. I wish I could make it easier on you, but I don’t want to pretend to be something I’m not. Please, try to understand. I'm not ready to open that door, or to talk about any of that, with you. It's in the past, and best forgotten.”

  “So, what do we do from here, Callie?” he asked tiredly. “Will you at least see me for the rest of the month? Give me a chance to show you how wonderful it will be for us. Will you sing in the tent?”

  “No.” she decided immediately. “Sam, I’m not good for your reputation, and I can’t handle singing in the tent. You are not a man of compromise, and I won’t be the one to lead you down that path. I love you dearly, Sam. I’ll always think fondly of you. But this is a dead-end road. I can't offer you anything but conflict, compromise and pain.”

  He sighed harshly. “How can I just walk away, when all the good things are still before us? Callie, I can’t believe you’re saying these things! Please, don’t shut the door all the way.” The pain and pleading in his eyes tore at her heart.

  “I have to, Sam. Because you won’t. I can’t stand behind you, the way that you’d need a wife to do. I don’t have the right to compromise your life and ministry. I would cause you so many problems. Sam, face it. Things just are not going to work out for us.” she said gently. “After all, Sam. I truly am a bonafide enemy of the cross. That makes me your enemy – doesn't it? Truly?”

  Sam closed his eyes and winced, as though the pain of her words was too hard to deal with. He sighed, and opened them again. He looked at Callie with grim resignation in his eyes. Then he nodded, squeezed her arm, and looked away.

  “All right, Callie. I understand what you’re saying. I don’t completely agree, but I don’t have much choice. I’ll give you some time. But please, don’t close me out. Let me continue to see you. Let's keep talking this through.”

  “Why prolong the agony, Sam?” she asked tensely. “Nothing is going to change.”

  “How do you know?” he challenged softly. “So many things have changed, in just a matter of days.”

  She pressed her lips together and stared up at him defiantly. “I don’t want your Christianity, Sam. I don’t want it. I don’t know what else I can say. You and Jesus are a package deal. The longer we see one another and pretend that there’s some chance we’ll be able to work it out, the more it’s going to hurt when we finally give it up. Just face it. Admit it and say goodbye, will you?”

  Sam considered quietly, and let his eyes crinkle in just a hint of a smile. “Okay, Callie. If that’s what you really want.”

  She steeled herself against the entreaty in his beautiful eyes. “It is.” She assured him.

  He nodded, and looked away. His heart was tearing apart. “Okay.” He said. “Just do one thing for me, if you will. Look me in the eyes and tell me you don’t want to see me anymore. Do that, and I will go away, and I will leave you alone.”

  A cold knot formed in Callie’s heart. “Sam, it’s not that simple; and you know it.”

  He put his hands on her arms. “Then don’t do it. Let me continue to see you, take it one day at a time. It’s really going to be all right.”

  She pulled away. “No.” she denied quickly. “Sam, I don’t want to get hurt, and I don’t want to keep putting you through this. I am not going to be able to do what would be necessary. Please understand.”

  "You're absolutely certain?"

  Callie set her lips, and nodded. "It's for the best. We need to go our separate ways. Please, don't make this difficult. This has got to be goodbye." She insisted.

  He sighed heavily. “Will you at least kiss me goodbye?” he challenged.

  Callie looked up at him warily. “Why make it harder, Sam?” she argued.

  He shook his head, watching her eyes. “Have a little mercy, will you? If it’s going to have to last me the rest of my life, don’t make me remember it the way it ended last night.”

  The words cut Callie to the quick. How could she ignore a request like that? It gave her pause. Was he saying that she was the only love he’d ever have? The thought made her heart ache unbearably! Yet, what did it change? She pressed her lips together and smiled unhappily. “What can I say that won’t be wrong, and hurtful?” she asked quietly.

  “Just give me this one thing.” He urged in a pleading whisper. Though Callie was reluctant, she allowed him to draw her into his arms. She closed her eyes and tensed, as though she might somehow be able to ward off the pain.

  Sam held her as tightly as he could, and rocked her gently in his arms. She could feel his breath against her ear and neck. She was engulfed in his arms, her cheek against his hard, muscled chest. His thighs were pressed against hers, and she could feel a trembling, deep inside him. She felt that she might go quietly insane before it was over.

  His lips worked their way across her jaw, her cheek. Then, his lips covered hers, and he took what he wanted, without restraint. He drank of her sweetness and felt as though he might drown in it. He also felt that he might die without it, if he never tasted her again. But he knew better than to think about that, or say anything to convince her. She didn't need any guilt to remember him by.

  When he’d filled himself and satisfied his ache in part, he began to pour out his love for her. Callie was absolutely staggered. She’d never felt anything like what Sam was giving her now! She knew beyond
a shadow of a doubt that he loved her and that he’d never stop. She knew from his kiss that he’d wait and continue to want her. She didn’t know how she knew; she just knew.

  When he knew he had to stop or fall apart, Sam moved his lips from hers, to her neck below her ear. To that soft, delicate spot where her pulse fluttered.

  “I love you so much, Callie.” He murmured, in a soft whisper.

  “I love you.” She answered, with a heavy heart.

  He looked down at her. She was staring back at him, her eyes begging him for mercy.

  “You know how to reach me, if you change your mind. Or, if you ever need me … for anything, at all.” He said quietly. He smiled sadly, and touched her chin with his thumb. He squeezed her shoulders gently, and then he released her. His fingers lingered against hers.

  “Thanks, Callie.” He said, with his heart in his eyes. He turned away, and walked out.

  Callie didn’t find much solace in her life after that night. Sam made no further attempts to contact her, and Callie stayed away from the tent. Sadie continued to stay with Callie, but she had been seeing a bit of Sean, so she wasn’t around much when Callie was home.

  After an initial inquiry regarding why Callie wouldn’t sing at the tent anymore, Sadie left the subject alone. It was clear that Sam hadn’t told her anything, so Callie didn’t, either. Sadie was unhappy to see both of them miserable, but she encountered stone walls on both sides whenever she brought the subject up. So, she learned to leave it alone.

  It amazed Sadie, but the situation just went on and on, all month long. The only change that occurred was that Sean and Dalton went to the tent one night with Sadie, and they both accepted Jesus. They immediately decided to quit the band at the end of the month, and travel with the tent from then on.

  Callie was devastated. This left her without a band. She couldn’t believe it when the two men met with her and told her their intentions. She was dumbfounded. They assured her that Sam knew nothing of it as yet. It seemed he’d prayed for them, but gave no sign that he recognized them. Yet, they both felt very sure of the path that they now needed to take.