Find Me Series (Book 3): Finding Hope

by Trish Marie Dawson

  “Oh, gosh no. We didn’t build this. The property was designed by a rich, and rather paranoid, business man. He spared no expense to have a functioning home for his friends and family in case of, well, you know, the end of the world. We’ve been simply keeping it up since arriving.”

  “And how’d you find this place?” I asked.

  “The leaders did. I came after. And boy, aren’t we lucky? Rumor has it, there are bunkers and similar places like this tucked away in remote parts of the country - the world, really - but this one is now ours.”

  Drake snorted out a laugh. “Under new management, right?”

  Ryder nodded. “Yes, it’s a sad truth that the original owners didn’t live to see this masterpiece in action.”

  I opened my mouth to speak again but Winchester beat me to it. “What’s all that on the roof?”

  Ryder answered with a flip of his clipboard, turning the pages noisily. “Rooftop farming. All of the Ark buildings have at least one garden on top of the structure. Most of our gardens are grown that way. Except for the greenhouses.”

  Win nudged me in the ribs with his elbow. “Smart,” he said.

  “Yeah.”

  People would find a way to survive, and unlike what we’d been doing for the previous months on our own, the Ark members weren’t just scavenging, they really had rebuilt a community.

  “No doubt you will find our self-sustainability impressive,” Ryder gushed. We watched him release his seat-belt as the van pulled to a stop in front of a wood-shingled longhouse. He was the only one who’d worn his safety harness, I noted, as I waited patiently for Jacks to exit the van with Lily secured to his chest in muslin wrap. Even with the baby, he cared very little about his seatbelt. Like I’d thought before - the rules had changed. Well, for most of us.

  The building we huddled in front of had several doors with large awning windows that opened outward from the base of the sills. The walls were half covered in corrugated steel and nature-worn wooden planks. The roof was low, slanted toward the back, where I imagined water run-off would be easily collected. We were led inside, where rows of cafeteria-style tables protruded out from one wall of the room. The center of the building was open, except for several massive support columns. A handful of curved sofas and over-sized chairs took up the other end of the space. It was the Ark’s community center/recreation room.

  Ryder waited for all of us to pour through the doorway before gesturing around him. Through his thin shirt I could see yellow rings of sweat darkening around the pit areas. It wasn’t hot enough outside for him to be sweating through his clothes, and part of me wondered if his tour guide status was a new assignment. Or perhaps bringing new people into his home never became any easier for him.

  He held the clipboard up to his chest, almost hugging it while we looked from one end of the great room to the other. Not until he felt satisfied he had our attention did he speak again. “We have our communal meals in here, as well as celebrations.” He paused and turned in a semi-circle with a smile. “We’ve also had the pleasure of hosting three wedding receptions.”

  “Is it just me, or does the little twerp seem high on happiness?” Drake whispered over my shoulder.

  My laugh, though quickly cut short by my hand, was too loud to miss. Each member of the group glanced over at me but Ryder paused only briefly before clearing his throat and continuing.

  “We have a modest kitchen behind that wall there,” he pointed. “And there’s a bathroom stall over in that corner.” Dutifully, we looked to our right and nodded that we understood there was a toilet behind the narrow panel door.

  Zoey huffed and collapsed at my heels, seemingly just as bored as the rest of us were, while Ryder spent another ten minutes rambling on. Behind me, Kris giggled at something Jacks said and I put my hand up with a sharp nod, interrupting Ryder as he spoke about the irrigation system and how the grid was powered by their wind farm and generator systems. I didn’t care how the lights were kept on. As long as they worked.

  “I think some of us are anxious to settle in. Maybe we could finish up the tour in a few hours?” I asked.

  Ryder’s cheeks flushed a rouge color that contrasted comically with his pale complexion. “Sure,” he stammered. In a rush to get to the door, he tripped over his feet, twice. “Let’s go meet the leaders, and then I’ll see you each to your living quarters.”

  CHAPTER TWO

  The leaders were made up of three cautious-looking individuals, all dressed in khaki pants and white shirts like they were on their way to a work meeting on the local golf-course. Two men, one woman. I guessed their ages to range between the mid-forties to early fifties. Even as we approached the massive central building of the compound, I could see through the lobby windows that each was impeccably groomed, with smoothed-back hair and clean faces. And all three stood tall, with their arms clasped loosely at their fronts. Eerily expecting us.

  One after the other, we followed Ryder through the double doors of an oddly round building, and piled into the wide space around the three strangers. Lily was awake, and let everyone know by squawking loudly. Jacks bounced and jiggled her in his arms until she found her thumb and began to suck loudly on it.

  The woman smiled at Lily and opened her hands in welcome, turning them palm-side up. “Welcome to the Ark,” she said. “My name is Amanda.”

  The two men standing on each side of her said in unison, “Welcome to the Ark.”

  The shorter of the two nodded and shyly introduced himself as Dinnley. The second man’s build was no stranger to hard labor; thick, wide and full of muscle. He sported a thick 80’s style mustache, and greeted us with the name Heston. I disliked him instantly. And it wasn’t because his smile was lost beneath the scruff of his thin upper lip, it was because his eyes were cold as ice. They were dangerous eyes.

  Amanda. Dinnley. Heston. It almost sounded like one name, when put together. Amanda Dinnley Heston. In order to attempt to remember them, I said the names quickly through my mind a few times. AmandaDinnleyHeston. AmandaDinnleyHeston. AmandaDinnleyHeston. An overwhelming urge of suspicion flooded through me when my eyes met Amanda’s, and I was almost certain that they had all lied about who they were and how they came to be managing the Ark. But I was also suffering from sleep deprivation and an overall bitchy disposition. My smile was equally less than genuine.

  A few from our group mumbled a simple thanks or passive greeting, but I didn’t. With my jaw stubbornly set in place, I shoved my hands into my pockets and shifted my body weight from leg to leg. The three elders oozed with hidden motives, not at all transparent in their stature, something that sent up the hairs on my body and threw up all sorts of red flags inside my brain. Zoey stood at full attention by my right side, waiting for my cue to run or relax. Kris had also found her place on my left, with her hands clutching the straps of her backpack, and she looked warily back and forth from Ryder to the cult-like leaders of the Ark.

  “This is our home,” the woman called Amanda stated. “And without a community to run it, it would not exist. You are all welcome here, as long as you abide by our moral code and community laws. And of course, contribute in a way that suits everyone. Make yourselves comfortable, settle in, and surely you’ll find that the Ark is just as much your home, as it has become ours.” She then brought her hands together in prayer and bowed before us, before turning and walking down a short hall, disappearing around a corner, with both the men in tow.

  When Ryder turned around to face us, his coloring was pink and flushed, as if he was excited. “Aren’t they just amazing?” he gushed.

  It was obvious to me that our definitions of amazing were far different.

  As he ushered us toward an elevator in the center of the main room, I sent Drake a series of questioning glances that meant something along the lines of ‘What the HELL is this place?’, receiving the same from him. With several pats on my leg, Zoey fell dutifully into step beside me, keeping her gaze on Ryder and the open land just outside the doors.
Even she could feel the odd energy in the air.

  I’d been on the Ark grounds for less than an hour, and I already knew it was only a rest stop for me and the dog.

  The Ark would never be my home.

  * * *

  “But the way I understood things is that the lodging was apartment style. And this,” Win sucked in a ragged, frustrated breath and waved his hand down the hall, “…is more like fifth grade camp.”

  “Plus, we’re underground again,” Kris complained.

  “I’d rather tent it topside,” Drake agreed.

  Skip chuckled. “When winter sets in, you’ll rethink that.”

  Ryder scrambled through his papers, flipping them and running his fingers along the handwritten notes. “Well, here it says there’s only one family unit – a father and child – and the rest of you are individuals.” He looked up and glanced down the c-shaped hallway where we stood in an awkward line. We were four stories below the main level and, aside from the neatly painted walls in all their glorious cream-colored layers, it felt exactly like the bunker did. Isolating.

  “One family unit?” Skip asked. “In a way we’re all one big family here.” His voice was tired, but his cheeks rosy. I thought the mountain air was going to be good for him.

  The clipboard fell to the ground with a noisy clatter that echoed out around us. Ryder snatched it up and began filtering through the papers once again. After inching my way forward, I edged around Win so I could stand in front of Ryder. The close proximity did nothing to ease his nerves. It was hard not to smile at the tremble in his lower lip.

  “Is there a bed for each of us?” I asked calmly. He nodded so hard the brown hair on his head bounced. “Okay, that’s all we need then. The single family unit must be for Jacks and Lily?” Again, Ryder nodded. I looked down at his clipboard and gestured for it. He handed it over gratefully.

  “We don’t need that much space,” Jacks said with a nervous laugh.

  I found the paper that listed our sleeping units and read them each by name and corresponding room number. Jacks and Lily would be the only two on the first sub-floor. The rest of us would be lodging on the floor we stood on. “Now that everyone knows their room number, let’s settle in and give Ryder a chance to get back to work.” I wasn’t being helpful out of the pure kindness of my heart; I simply wanted him to leave.

  He let out a long sigh as he took the clipboard back and nodded with just the hint of a smile before scurrying down the hall with a reluctant Jacks and still-sleeping Lily. With him, the scent of sandalwood drifted away. I hadn’t realized how strongly he smelled of it until that moment. When they reached the elevator, Ryder called back at us, “Oh, right, please be topside by 4:00pm and I’ll escort you to supper.” And then they were gone.

  “Well, you sure made him nervous. Must be that shiny personality of yours,” Drake teased me.

  “She makes all the boys nervous. Just look at her,” Skip said with a wink.

  “I do not.” Suddenly self-conscious, I adjusted my shirt around my midsection and ignored Drake’s probing gaze beside me.

  “So,” Win said with irritation, letting his hands slap loudly on his thighs. “Looks like I’m bunking with Skip and…Drake.” He said the last name with dripping sarcasm. Looking between the men, I knew the arrangement wouldn’t be long term.

  “And you’re with me, kiddo,” I said to Kris, opening the door to unit number eleven. We stepped inside to a modest room, deeper than it was wide. There were two sets of bunk beds, with fulls on the bottom, twins on top. Each bed was cleanly made with white sheets and a thick blanket. Wide dressers attached to the walls flanked both sides of the room, and behind one of the walls was a modest bathroom the size of a closet with only a toilet and sink. The light in the room came from a ceiling fan that served little purpose, since there was only one speed – extra, extra slow.

  “Uh, where do we shower?” Kris asked, peeking into the small half-bath.

  Too frustrated to care, I tossed my bag on one of the lower bunks and flopped down beside it. Zoey jumped up at my feet and stretched out across my legs, settling in for a nap. It seemed we had just traded one jail sentence for a new one.

  * * *

  I’ve never been great with names. There were so many new faces to learn I knew it would be impossible to remember them all after being introduced to the tenth person. Just like with my small group in the Laguna Mountains, there were more men at the Ark than women, and most of them were in their senior years. But there was also a handful of children, ranging in age from toddler to teen. It was a surreal feeling, being surrounded by strangers again. By smiling faces and youthful laughter. The astounding normalcy of the community was quick to cut into me like a blade, twisting around my heart and pulling at its stuffing. I didn’t like it, and found myself instantly retreating to the solitary safety of myself. When alone, one cannot get hurt.

  The wind snapped at our clothes as we walked from the main building to the community one for dinner. Kris had gone ahead of me with the others, which left me and Drake bringing up the rear. As I fought to keep the loose hairs that had escaped from the sides of my braid out of my face, Drake grumbled about the sleeping arrangements and cursed our surroundings.

  “Yeah, I’m not loving it here either, but let’s not bolt until Skip sees this doctor of theirs. Then, we can chat about how messed up the Ark is,” I sighed. Skip needed more than herbal treatments and bottled pain killers. He needed more than Winchester. A little antibacterial cream and gauze couldn’t treat cancer.

  “This place is a trap. Can’t you see that? Assholes just want free labor to run their clone factory.”

  After seeing the influx of identical smiles on the people we’d met, I’d almost thought the same. As the ratio for men to women grossly favored the males. It had been that way since I met the first survivors of the plague. That fact alone brought Kris and myself a lot of unwanted glances and attention from the opposite sex. Mostly exaggerated smiles and ‘Oh, let me get that door for you,’ kinds of things. Harmless, yet annoying. Even Drake was less and less willing to give the place a try with every breath he took.

  “You can go any time you like, remember?” I reminded him.

  “I will. Once I find somewhere better,” he answered, kicking at the dirt as he walked beside me. I stopped and pulled on his arm till he looked down at me. The breeze whipped around his head, blowing his soft hair around in a twirling dance.

  “You’ve been in a perpetual state of crankiness since we got here. Why?”

  His eyes locked onto mine. “You know why. I told you this would be a bad idea, yet you encouraged your friends to get locked underground for weeks! We don’t even know these people, and you’re trusting them with our lives. It’s more than a bit foolish, don’t you think?”

  “So it’s me you’re mad at?”

  With a slow blink, Drake looked away. “It doesn’t matter.”

  I frowned. “Obviously, it does.”

  The wind seemed intent on distracting us. It pushed at my back and whistled around my arm, forcing me to shift my weight from one foot to the other to stay on balance. The dirt in the air settled on everything it could, dousing us both with a sheer coat of sand.

  We had all voted. We had all decided to come to the Ark. All of us. Including Drake. “Give it a few days, at least, before you label this place a complete failure, will you?” I asked.

  He frowned and leaned down toward my face. “This place sucks.”

  “You sound like a petulant kid right now. We have shelter, food, water and medical help. Which we all agreed we needed for now, even you.” I left out my own reservations about our current arrangements, knowing full well that, if Drake realized how close I was to running away myself, he wouldn’t bother to wait for my blessing. And I wasn’t ready to see him leave us behind. Not yet.

  Drake yanked his elbow free from my grasp, which I hadn’t realized I still had on him, and crossed his arms over the wide expanse of his hard chest. His
brows crinkled into one messy maze of concentration. “One week. I’ll know by then if there’s anything here worth staying for.” He turned away and I watched his back as he stormed toward the community center, his pace quick and forced.

  I let him reach the doors before I followed, rubbing at the chill on my arms, and wondered how long it would take before Arizona felt anything like home.

  “Life,” I muttered to myself, “I’ve had enough surprises from you lately. Let’s just play it safe for a while. Maybe keep things mellow for a bit, okay?”

  But life had its own game to play. No rules. No winners. Just survivors.

  * * *

  Dinner was buffet style, and after filling my tray with every color of the rainbow, avoiding the shredded chicken, I took my seat next to Kris. As I poked my fork around the food, mixing the peas in with the mashed potatoes, I could easily spot the close groups of people around the room. It felt like high school all over again. Perhaps Drake was right that the Ark wasn’t the best place for us. But just as soon as I’d had the thought, my gaze drifted over to Skip, who looked sicker and sicker each day, and then over to Lily, who was the most innocent and vulnerable of us all. Their wellbeing was enough to temporarily quiet the nagging voice of doubt in my mind.

  “Are you listening to me at all, Riley?” Kris laughed.

  I stopped with my hand halfway to my mouth and watched as food slid off the fork and landed with a plop back on the plate. “Sorry, what?”

  Kris rolled her eyes at me. “You’re a million miles away. I was telling you about the youth classes they have here.” She wiggled around on the bench seating and stabbed at something orange on her plate before shrugging. I guessed it was a chunk of steamed carrot. “I mean, not like that’s my thing, really. But it could be fun. Maybe.”

  My hand remained hovering in the air while I looked at her. “Are you asking me if you can go?”

  “I don’t know. Could be lame. Never mind.” She pushed a partially melted square of butter around her potatoes, drowning them in a puddle of yellow goo. “Forget it.”