by Brenda Novak
“Should we go inside—to my room?” he asked. “You can’t be too comfortable out here.”
She considered the suggestion but shook her head. This was a moment out of time, and it needed to stay that way, needed to be separate from the lives they were living, or it could change everything, and she couldn’t afford to have it do that. She needed her job. She also needed a safe place to stay, until she could get out on her own.
“No. That’s where reality resides,” she said. “This is...something else, a dream, and I’m not ready to go back to reality quite yet.”
He seemed to understand, because he didn’t press her. “Okay.” He kissed her—slowly and gently at first but with more need and urgency as their tongues met and intertwined. After that there was no time for talking. Sadie didn’t want to talk, anyway. She was too busy removing his pants.
“What about birth control?” he asked.
She could tell he’d been putting off the question, that he hadn’t wanted to ruin what they were experiencing by forcing her to face the possibility of pregnancy.
“I don’t have anything,” he admitted.
She was still on the pill, because of what Sly had done, insisting she provide sex even though they were split up. She wasn’t about to allow her ex to get her pregnant. One child with him was enough. “I’ve got that covered.”
She was afraid Dawson would question her. If she and her husband had been split up for a year, and she hadn’t been with anyone else, why would she still be on birth control? Any guy would wonder. But Dawson was too caught up to think about the ramifications. In this moment, he wanted only one thing, and that one thing precluded critical thinking.
“Thank God,” he responded and pressed inside her.
18
He was having sex with his sister’s caregiver on the ground outside, and she’d worked for him less than a week. On some level, Dawson knew it was pathetic that he’d caved in to his libido so soon. From the beginning, he’d pretended he hadn’t hired Sadie because he was attracted to her. He’d told himself she was too skinny, that he was only trying to help her, that he had too much going on at the moment to worry about satisfying his sexual urges.
Now he knew that was at least partially a lie. He’d tried to keep his thoughts where they needed to be, but he liked so many things about her. And those legs! Every time he’d seen her since that night at her house, he’d felt a tug down deep in his gut. He’d gone to the bar, hoping to find someone with whom he could safely vent his sexual frustration, but no one had been remotely appealing to him. Sadie had been all he could think about even then.
In any case, he couldn’t regret succumbing—not when feeling her beneath him brought such sweet pleasure. Since he’d already gotten her off, he thought she might become sort of impassive. He’d had a partner or two like that before, who reacted mechanically. But what happened earlier didn’t seem to make any difference with Sadie. She remained engaged and responsive, which excited him even more. He enjoyed every second with her, loved the way she cast all reservations aside and threw everything she had into making love with him. Despite the fact that he was the only person she’d ever been with besides her ex-husband, she wasn’t timid.
He’d been right that it wouldn’t take him more than a few minutes to reach climax, however. The pleasure was too intense to be able to hold off. As the tension built, he wished he could prolong the moment even as he couldn’t wait to reach that pinnacle. For a change, he was facing a good problem, the best kind of problem there was...
As he let himself go, he felt her hands in his hair, her mouth on his neck, and knew one time with her would never be enough. He’d barely finished, yet he wished he could do it all again. But he didn’t know how this would affect her, what she might be like tomorrow. He worried that she’d feel some remorse. As he’d said, they didn’t know each other all that well.
“We need a shower.” He was slumped over her, trying to catch his breath. He hadn’t had to put in a lot of work or effort; it was the level of excitement that had his heart racing. “I’ve done a lot of things in these fields, but I’ve never made love in the dirt,” he said as he eased his weight to the side.
“You should do it more often,” she said. “You’re good at it.”
That she could be so cavalier with that suggestion bothered him a little. She didn’t seem to care one way or another if she was his partner when that occurred. But after what she’d been through, he couldn’t blame her. He wouldn’t want to get into another relationship, either, not if someone like Sly was all he’d ever known.
After pecking her lips, he got up and gathered their clothes as well as the flashlight.
“Hey, some of those are mine,” she said when she understood that he wasn’t going to hand them back.
“But you can’t put them on or you’ll just have to take them off and wash them in the house,” he said. “We’ve been naked for the past fifteen minutes or more. We can last a bit longer. Come on!” Grabbing her hand, he helped her to her feet and together they ran for the house.
“You locked it?” he said when they reached the back door and couldn’t get in.
“I was afraid something had happened to you! I couldn’t leave Jayden vulnerable while I checked.”
“True. Where’s the key?”
“In the pockets of the sweats I was wearing.”
He had her hold the flashlight while he fumbled around with what he was carrying until he came up with it. “Whew! Good thing. Or we’d be banging on the door, hoping to wake a five-year-old so he could let us in.”
“If that were the case, we’d have to put on our clothes whether we were dirty or not,” she said.
They were both laughing at how funny it would be to get locked out while they were naked as they spilled into the house. Then Dawson dropped their clothes on the floor and pulled her into the bathroom.
“What are we doing?” Sadie asked.
“I told you. We’re going to take a shower,” he replied.
“Together?”
He turned on the water. “Why not? It’s no more intimate than what we just shared. And it’s still tonight, isn’t it?”
Her eyes twinkled with a mischievousness he hadn’t seen in them before. She was having a good time. So was he. “It is.”
As he tested the temperature, she stood back and looked him over.
“I don’t think I’ve ever been examined so closely,” he said.
“It was too dark outside to see you very well.”
“So you’re making up for it?”
“What can I say?” A playful smile curved her lips. “I’ve never seen a man who isn’t circumcised.”
“I’m glad I get to be the one to broaden your education.”
“You have a beautiful body.”
They’d given themselves until tomorrow to resume their usual roles. That meant he could kiss her. And he did. He lifted her chin and covered her mouth with his as he’d been dying to do since that night at her guesthouse when he’d forced himself to remain on the couch. He’d kissed her outside, too, but this was different, more meaningful because there was no sexual intention behind it—no immediate sexual intention, anyway.
When her arms went around his neck, and her naked body came up against his, he clasped her to him. That was a nice feeling, almost as good as sex itself, he thought.
“And did I tell you I like the way you touch me?” she asked, gazing up at him as he lifted his head.
He slid his hands down her back and over the rounded cheeks of her ass. “You’re going to have to give me another chance—whether it’s tonight or some other time.”
“Another chance to—”
“Make love to you,” he finished. “In a bed, when I don’t have to fear you’re uncomfortable, and when I’m not coming off eight
een months of celibacy, so I have the stamina to last.”
“You’re more frank than I expected,” she said with a laugh.
“We’re just being honest here, right?”
“We’re just being honest,” she agreed and kissed him as if she was testing out how it might feel to take the initiative.
“I’ve got an idea,” he said against her soft lips.
She seemed reluctant to pull away. “And that is...”
“After this, let’s go upstairs.”
“I think that was always the plan. We have to go to bed at some point.”
He could hear the teasing note in her voice. “I’m not planning to sleep. I want you in my bed, not yours.”
“I’m not sure that would be wise,” she said, but she didn’t seem entirely committed to her refusal, which told him more than mere words.
“It’s still tonight,” he reminded her, making what she’d said before a commitment.
“But we’re supposed to be keeping what happened outside separate from what happens in here,” she reminded him. “We’re not doing a very good job of that.”
He, for one, was glad. “We’ll worry about tomorrow when tomorrow comes. Tonight, I want you to take the lead.”
She pulled back. “What?”
“That’s right.” He tugged her into the shower with him. “You make all the moves. Do whatever you’d like to do, and I’ll go along with it.”
“You’re putting me in charge.”
Nudging her beneath the spray, he grabbed the soap and began to run it over her breasts. “Why not?”
She watched his hands as they moved. “I probably won’t be any good at it. I’ve never had the opportunity.”
Because she’d been dominated by a control freak ever since she was in high school. “I guessed as much. That’s why I want it. I’d like to see what you’d do if you could do anything,” he said, but only an hour later, when they were in his bed as he’d wanted, he wasn’t sure they should’ve acted on that idea. The way she’d made love to him was so sweet he knew he’d never be able to forget it.
* * *
Sly was waiting for her when she arrived at Lolita’s the following morning. Sadie noticed him sitting at the counter with Pete, both of them in uniform, and nearly turned around and walked out. She was only finishing up at the restaurant because she’d said she would. She could use the money, of course, but what little she could make today would hardly compensate her for having to deal with Sly. Neither would it make a big difference as to when she’d be able to leave this town. The fire had already set her back months.
After what she’d experienced last night with Dawson, she didn’t want to see her ex. She was still basking in the afterglow of what it had felt like to be in someone else’s arms—someone whose touch excited her.
She’d barely turned on her heel when Lolita, a determined if not fiery redhead with a curvy figure, came up behind her. “Boy, am I glad to see you. Missy called in sick this morning, so we’re shorthanded. Any chance you could handle a table in addition to the breakfast bar? I understand it’ll be stressful to manage that much, but it’s stressful for all of us this morning. We’re so busy, and we don’t have any other options.”
Sadie opened her mouth to say she wasn’t feeling well herself. She wanted to leave so badly. But she couldn’t lie. Lolita had been good to her. She wouldn’t leave her in the lurch. “Sure. No problem. I’ll take two tables, if you need it.”
Lolita squeezed her arm. “I appreciate that. You always come through. I’m so sad to be losing you.”
“Thanks.”
When her boss rushed off to take a few orders, or to see to the smooth running of the kitchen, Sadie drew a deep breath, squared her shoulders and told herself to get to work. She’d simply treat Sly like any other patron.
He didn’t speak to her when he saw her, and she didn’t speak to him. She pulled her pad from her pocket and took a couple of orders down the bar, which she turned in to the cooks, before approaching him and Pete.
“What can I get for you this morning?” she asked, forcing a polite but distant smile.
Pete ordered; Sly didn’t. He sat there glaring at her as though she’d done him dirty.
Sadie recognized that look. She associated it with the anger and reprisal that so often went with it but was determined to be professional. “Well, if that’s it, I’ll get this order in.”
“Don’t you dare walk away from me,” Sly growled.
Pete glanced from Sly to her and back again. “Whoa, take it easy, buddy,” he murmured to his friend. “You heard what Chief said this morning.”
Sly ignored him. “You’re sleeping with him, aren’t you!” he said to her.
“Sly, no.” Pete grabbed his arm, but he shook off his friend.
“You are, right? Tell me you aren’t. Just try to make that believable. I heard he bought you some panties yesterday. Spent a pretty penny for them, too. Whole town’s talking about it. You must be giving him something, the way he’s taking care of you.”
A denial rose to Sadie’s lips. She didn’t want to be embarrassed in the middle of the crowded diner. She knew almost everyone there, which made airing their dirty laundry in public that much worse. Besides, she wasn’t with Dawson in the way he thought. They weren’t an item. They were just two desperate souls seeking shelter from the storm, and they’d taken a little pleasure in each other last night. Was that really such a terrible sin? She wasn’t in a committed relationship and hadn’t been for some time. Who knew how many women Sly had slept with in the past year? She felt as if she should have the same right. “Yes,” she replied. “Last night. Several times. And I’ve never enjoyed anything more.”
His jaw dropped. Sadie was surprised, too. She hadn’t expected anything like that to come out of her mouth, wasn’t sure what had possessed her.
“And you’re proud of that?” A crash reverberated as Sly swiped his water glass and utensils to the floor. “You whore! No wonder I couldn’t get along with you! You don’t want a decent man. You want some dirty murderer in your bed.”
Sadie clenched her jaw. “Dawson’s no murderer. He’s a far better man than you. You’re the one who set the fire. I saw you outside my window! You knew I wasn’t coming back to you, so you tried to burn me out. To make sure I had nowhere else to go!”
He went silent. He wasn’t used to having her come back at him, let alone casting any aspersions on his character. In the past, she’d always tried to placate him, to keep the level of emotion down—for the sake of Jayden, for the sake of those around them, for her own safety. Especially if they were in public. But she was tired of his emotional vomit. If standing up to Sly meant war, there was no way to avoid it, because she couldn’t tolerate what he was doing to her any longer.
“You’d better kiss that little boy of yours goodbye,” he said, “because I’m going back to court, and I’m going to take him away from you.”
“Boy of mine?” she said. “He’s your son, too, and you’re an even bigger monster than I thought if you’d deprive Jayden of his mother just because I was so miserably unhappy with you!”
He grabbed for her. In that instance, she thought he was going to take hold of her and punch her. She dropped her pad and pencil as her arms came up to protect her face, but Pete grabbed him in a bear hug and hauled him back before he could reach her. “Come on. We’re getting out of here. Now!” Pete said and half dragged Sly from the restaurant.
Sadie was shaking when she bent to collect what she’d dropped. Everyone in the room was staring at her, and for good reason. She’d just had a knock-down-drag-out with her ex, who happened to be on the police force, after admitting to sleeping with the guy everyone believed killed his parents—with a hatchet, no less. A scene didn’t get more salacious than that. She’d be the talk of the town fo
r weeks.
“Oh my gosh! Are you okay?” Lolita came rushing toward her.
Sadie wasn’t sure she had the strength to stand. She’d experienced such extremes this weekend—fear and anger on one side, ecstasy on the other. She wasn’t sure her emotions could swing in a wider arc.
Fortunately, Lolita helped her to her feet. “Here, hang on to me.”
“I’m sorry.” Sadie could feel the shock and amazement in the room and chafed beneath the unwanted attention. “I didn’t mean to cause a scene. That isn’t right, not in a place of business.”
“You’ve never caused a problem before. It was that ex-husband of yours who was spoiling for a fight. Jealousy can turn people into the ugliest possible version of themselves.”
Lolita assumed this was an anomaly, that Sly was a normal person and extreme circumstances had led to extreme behavior. She had no idea what Sadie had lived with on a daily basis for over a decade. “I’m afraid he’ll try to take Jayden from Petra’s, to scare me if for no other reason. I’ve got to go. I know it’s not a good time, so I hope you’ll forgive me, but...I have no choice,” she said. “And this is it, my last day. I won’t leave Jayden again.”
* * *
Dawson was surprised to see Sadie pull into the drive. When he’d dropped her off at her car this morning, so she could drive herself home after work and would have transportation thereafter, he’d expected it to be noon or one before he saw her again, but it was barely ten o’clock.
He left the field he’d been weeding to meet her. He’d been thinking of her all morning, hadn’t been able to get the touch and taste of her out of his head. He’d been with plenty of women over the years, especially in college, but sex with Sadie had been different somehow, more fulfilling. Although he’d been trying to convince himself that he was overreacting, that a year in jail and becoming the most hated man in town would make a person more grateful for every kindness, every soft touch, he feared he felt more than mere gratitude for her “friendship.” Somehow, Sadie had really gotten to him. And he was pretty sure she felt the same. When he’d awakened this morning, she’d been gone from his bed, but every time he caught her eye, she’d smile and blush as if she was thinking about the same thing he was. She’d even sat a little closer to him in the truck when he took her to get her car.
