A Bride's Agreement

by Elaine Bonner

  She would just have to make sure she kept her emotions in check so she would not get hurt. She would learn to be as indifferent as Steven and remember that this was a job, not a marriage.

  Emily awoke early the next morning, glad to have slept in a real bed. She knew she had the cold, hard ground to look forward to for the next few nights.

  She was dressed and ready to go when Steven knocked on the door. “Good morning,” she said as she opened the door. “Did you sleep well?”

  “Morning,” he replied. “I slept okay. Are you ready to go?” His usual impatience was showing.

  “All ready,” she answered, trying to keep a happy tone in her voice.

  “Thought we’d get a bite of breakfast before we head out,” he offered. He picked up her bag and led the way to the dining room.

  They had eggs, bacon, and biscuits with cream gravy for breakfast, a hearty meal that left Emily stuffed. When they walked outside, the wagon and team were waiting, and they began the day’s journey.

  The scenery was getting prettier. More greenery and more trees. The day went by as the days before had.

  On the morning of the eleventh day, Emily asked, “Steven, tell me about the children. I’d like to know a little bit about what to expect.”

  He sat quietly for a few minutes, then he cleared his throat and began. “It’s been five years since I’ve seen them, you know.” Emily sat quietly and let him continue. “The oldest is Matthew. He’d be about sixteen now, a man. Probably he has been doing a lot of the work around the farm. I figure he’s been the man of the house. The next boy is Mark. My wife—Becky—had a thing for Bible names. Mark’s fourteen. He was always real quiet, liked to read a lot. Then there’s Luke and John. They’re twins. Luke is the leader of the two, John follows him. When you see one of them, you see them both. They’re ten. Then comes Sarah. I guess she’s seven now. She was just a baby when I left. I can’t tell you much about her. She was the spitting image of her momma the last time I saw her. Becky told me in her last letter that Sarah really liked school.”

  Steven sat quietly. Emily thought she had seen a couple of tears run down his cheek as he talked about his children. She knew he had left to find work, but why had he stayed away so long? Would she ever learn the answer to that question and all the other questions she had about this man? She could see a lot of hurt on his face. Possibly a lot of regret. All she could do for him at this point was pray for him, and maybe God would heal the hurt. She knew she had to pray for the children, too. She wasn’t sure what she had gotten herself into, but she knew whatever lay ahead would not be easy for any of them. Emily pulled out her pad and pencil and began to write.

  Day 11

  Steven told me about the children today. I am very nervous about the prospect of becoming caretaker of five children. I wonder what they will think of me. This is the most frightening thing I have ever faced thus far in my life. I hope I never face anything worse. According to Steven’s timetable, we should be arriving in Tyler tomorrow. So I will have to face the five judges either tomorrow or the next day. I pray for God’s guidance and comfort.

  Late in the afternoon, they came into the small town of Tyler. Steven turned to Emily and explained, “We’re gonna spend the night here. It’s about a half day’s ride from here to the farm. I thought we could stay here and get cleaned up so we would be presentable when we get there. I also have to let the judge know I’m back and am gonna assume full responsibility for my kids.”

  Steven checked them into a hotel. It was much smaller than the one in Fort Worth, but it was clean. Once again Emily got to soak herself in a nice tub of hot water. She just sat and relaxed, for she knew, starting tomorrow, her life would change. She wasn’t sure it would be for the better.

  “God, give me the courage to get through tomorrow,” she prayed. “I lift Steven and all five of his children up to You. Give us all the courage to survive whatever lies ahead.”

  CHAPTER 3

  The wagon came to a stop. The house was large, with a front porch that stretched the length of the house. A swing hung on one end of the porch, and firewood was stacked on the other. The house looked as though it had never been painted. Toys were scattered across the yard’s patches of grass, and a lone rosebush stood at the end of the porch. The one redeeming factor was a large oak tree beside the house that would shade it from the hot afternoon sun.

  Emily looked around, realizing that everything familiar was gone from her life. Here she sat in front of a strange house, beside a man she hardly knew, about to embark on a life filled with uncertainty. The trip had been a long one, and it seemed years, not weeks, since they left Abilene. Now, sitting in front of this dark house in east Texas, she wondered once again if she had made the right decision.

  The front screen door opened and out walked five children, their eyes fixed on the wagon, their faces cold. There was not a smile among them. Steven helped Emily down from the wagon and then opened the gate. As she walked toward the porch, no one said a word.

  A heavyset woman stepped out the door, her hair pulled back in a bun, her face lined by years of hard work. She dried her hands on her apron as she spoke. “Heard you were coming home. You’re a little late, don’t you think?” She turned and walked back into the house.

  Steven looked at his children. His faced showed sheer terror. Emily could tell he had no idea what to say or do.

  The terrible silence was finally broken by Sarah. “Are you our daddy?” she asked.

  Steven cleared his throat and with an unsteady voice answered, “Yes, I am, Sarah. My, how you’ve grown. You’re a beautiful young lady now.”

  He then spoke to Luke and John and received a quiet hello and weak handshake from each of them. Steven extended his hand to Mark. “Hello, Mark. It’s good to see you.” Mark stood still and stared at his father.

  Matthew finally spoke. “Are you here to stay or just passing through?” His tone was bitter.

  “I’m here to stay,” Steven replied. He hesitated, chewing on his lip. “I—I’m sorry about your mother. I would like for all of you to meet Miss Emily Johnson. She has come to take care of you.”

  Emily couldn’t believe her ears. How could he be so cruel as to say sorry about your mother, here’s someone to replace her, all in the same breath? And what was that he called her, Emily Johnson? He hadn’t even introduced her as his wife. Well, that was fine with her.

  “Hello, children, I’m happy to meet each one of you,” Emily said.

  The children never moved and never said a word. They looked as though the wind had been knocked out of them, as though their world had just come to an end.

  Emily glanced around as they entered the house. Some of the furnishings had obviously been in the family for years. The place had a homey atmosphere, and some people would probably find it cozy and welcoming. But Emily didn’t. She didn’t know if she would ever feel welcome in this house.

  “Come on, I’ll show you where the kitchen and the washstand are so you can freshen up,” Steven said.

  Emily followed close behind him. In the kitchen she saw the plump lady from the brief encounter on the front porch.

  “Emily, I’d like for you to meet Alice Bentley. Alice, this is Emily Johnson. Emily will be taking care of the kids.”

  “Pleased to meet you, Miss Johnson,” Alice responded. Then looking at Steven, she asked, “If she’s gonna take care of the kids, what are you gonna do?”

  “I’m gonna see if I can make a go of this farm and support this family,” Steven answered sharply.

  “Do you know how many times Rebecca prayed that she would hear those words from you?” Alice asked. “No, you don’t, because you haven’t been around. She worked herself into an early grave trying to hold on to this place, waiting for the day you would come home. Well, now you’re here, but she’s not here to see it.” Alice turned to stir the pot on the stove.

  Steven’s face reddened. He turned to Emily and said, “Through that door on the back porch you
should find water and a wash pan.”

  Emily left the room, and Steven sucked in a deep breath. He turned to Alice and stated firmly, “I don’t have to explain anything to you or anyone else. What happened was between me and Becky. I’m back. I will resume my role as father and head of this household. Is that understood?”

  “Oh, I understand you all right. I just don’t think you understand. Those kids have lost the only parent they have known. They don’t know you or that woman you’ve brought here to raise them. The job will require a lot of patience, care, and understanding. I’ve never seen much of that in you. I can’t judge her; I don’t know her.” Alice kept right on preparing dinner.

  “You don’t know me either,” Steven remarked as he walked out on the back porch. He turned to Emily and said, “See if you can help Alice with dinner. I’m gonna unhitch the team.” As he walked away, Steven tried to hide the tears he knew were filling his eyes.

  “Can I help you with anything, Mrs. Bentley?” Emily asked.

  “The name’s Alice. You can peel those potatoes if you like. Tell me about yourself, Emily.”

  “There’s not much to tell. I’ve been a widow for eight years. I was working in a café in Abilene when I met Ste—I mean Mr. Barnes,” Emily answered.

  “When did you and Steven get married?” Alice inquired.

  Emily dropped the potato she was peeling and turned as white as a sheet. She finally found her voice and replied, “What makes you think we’re married?”

  “That little gold band on your hand for one thing. And, no matter what I think of Steven, he isn’t going to bring an unmarried woman into this house to live with him and his children and cause more gossip,” Alice answered. “Of course there will be talk that Steven brought a new bride home when his wife was barely cold in her grave.”

  Emily could tell that was Alice’s opinion, and she couldn’t blame her. She didn’t know why she hadn’t thought of that sooner. Of course people would think she was the reason Steven didn’t come home to his family. They would think she was a home wrecker, that Steven had met her while he was away, and they had probably lived in sin.

  “It’s not what you think,” Emily began. “We are married, but in name only. Steven used to come into the café a couple of times a month and drink coffee. We’d pass the time of day, but that’s all. I hardly know him. There was nothing between us before our marriage, and there has been nothing between us since. He married me, but only so I would come here and take care of the house and help raise the children. I’m not sure we’re even married in name, since he introduced me as Emily Johnson.”

  “If it’s not love, what made you marry him and come all this way to raise five kids you don’t even know?” Alice asked.

  With a faraway look in her eye, Emily said, “I don’t know. I have asked myself that a million times over the last couple of weeks. I guess part of it, or maybe all of it, was loneliness—and the fact that it’s not really a marriage but a job. I’m a nanny and a housekeeper, with just the title of wife.”

  Emily paused; she didn’t know how much she should share with this woman, but for some reason she decided to continue. “I have no children and no family, just me. For the first few years after Jim died, I didn’t want to find anyone. I had been so in love with him, I didn’t think I could ever love anyone else again. But, after a time I began to long for someone in my life. But for some reason I remained alone. I had begun to resign myself to the fact that there would never be anyone for me. I guess when Steven made me his proposition, I thought this might be my last chance at having a family and not dying a lonely old woman.”

  “I’m afraid you’ve cut a very rough row to hoe for yourself. It’s hard enough raising children with two parents who love each other and support each other. I’ll just have to pray extra hard for each one of you,” Alice said.

  “I know prayer is the only thing that will help this situation.” Emily sighed. To change the subject, she asked, “Tell me something about yourself, Alice.”

  “I’ve been a neighbor and friend of the Barneses since they first moved here about fifteen years ago. Matt was just a baby. I helped deliver the other four. Rebecca Barnes was one of the finest women I’ve ever known. I love these kids just like my own grandchildren. I’ve been helping out ever since Rebecca got sick. My husband and boys have helped out around the farm ever since Steven left.”

  Alice paused and turned the chicken she had frying on the stove, then continued. “I’ve been taking care of the kids since Rebecca died, but the county decided since I wasn’t blood kin, they’d have to step in and take over. That’s when Steven was contacted.”

  Very timidly Emily asked, “Tell me about Steven.”

  “I’m afraid anything I tell you will be biased,” Alice said, “but here goes. As I said, they moved here about fifteen years ago. They tried to make a go of the place and for the first few years did pretty good. Then I don’t know just what happened. We had a drought one year and their crops failed. They had the five kids, and I think it was just more than Steven could take.”

  Alice took a sip of coffee, then continued. “There seemed to be a change in Steven about that time. He had seemed like a pretty happy fellow, but he got to where he was gloomy all the time. They say you don’t know what goes on behind closed doors, but I don’t see how anyone could not have loved Rebecca. Anyway, Steven just up and left one day. Rebecca said he had gone to find work, and just as soon as they got a little ahead, he’d be back. That was five years ago. I never heard her say one bad word about the man in all that time. She’d just say he was doing the best he could.”

  “I knew he had a family,” Emily remembered, “but he never spoke much about them. He never spoke much about anything. Our conversations usually consisted of the weather and local events.”

  Alice looked at the clock. “We’d better get dinner on the table or those kids will be starving.”

  Out in the barn, Steven had unhitched and fed the team. Now he just sat there on a bale of hay with his head in his hands, tears running down his cheeks.

  Lord, I have no earthly idea what to do. I don’t know if You even hear me after all I’ve done. I deserted my family, and now after all this time I have to be a father to my kids. How can I expect them to respect me after what I’ve done to them? I don’t ask anything for myself, Lord, but show me what to do for the kids.

  How long had it been since he prayed? He wasn’t a church-going man. Oh, he had gone on occasion, and he did believe in God. As a boy he had followed Christ, but he hadn’t prayed in years. Now it seemed the only thing he could do.

  He thought about his situation. Why did he marry Emily and bring her here? What on earth could he have been thinking? He didn’t know her and his kids certainly didn’t. But it had seemed like a good idea at the time. He knew she was a good woman and a God-fearing woman. But why Emily? Why didn’t he just wait until he got here and then find someone to help out around the house and with the kids? Maybe somebody that the kids knew. He had just made everything harder by bringing her. But it was too late now. He would just have to make the best of a bad situation.

  He had made things clear to Emily that this was a marriage in name only. She shouldn’t expect him to be a husband to her, and he wouldn’t expect her to be a wife to him. He doubted he could ever be a husband to anyone again, not after he had failed so miserably with Becky. He had lived with the guilt of being a poor husband and father for so long it had become a permanent companion to him.

  His next step would be to tell the kids that Emily was his wife. He didn’t know why he hadn’t told them up front, but now he had no choice. He knew they wouldn’t take it well—but then they weren’t going to take anything about this situation well. He heard the dinner bell and slowly headed toward the house.

  The kitchen table was long, with chairs at each end and benches along the sides. Steven walked to the head of the table and pointed Emily to the chair at the foot of the table. “Emily, you sit there.”
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  With rage in his voice, Matt cried, “That was Momma’s place.”

  Without any emotion in his voice, Steven stated, “Now it will be Emily’s place.”

  Trying to calm the angry seas, Emily responded, “I’d be happy to sit on the side or anywhere. It really doesn’t matter to me.”

  “You kids might as well know now. I should have told you in the beginning. Emily is my wife and will be treated with the respect the woman of the house should have.” Steven’s voice was emphatic. He looked at Emily as if he were giving a command. “Emily, sit at the foot of the table.”

  The silence was deafening; you could have cut the air with a knife. Finally, the children took their usual places around the table, with Sarah sitting to Emily’s right. Alice sat down to Emily’s left with the two older boys. Steven picked up the fried chicken and served himself, then began to pass the plate.

  “Aren’t we gonna say the blessing?” Sarah asked.

  Steven flushed and looked helplessly at Emily, then at Alice. Alice took the cue and asked, “Whose turn is it to say grace?”

  Very shyly, Luke replied, “It’s mine.”

  “Okay, bow your heads, and, Luke, you say the blessing,” Steven instructed.

  Luke began, “Dear Lord, we thank You for this food and for the hands that prepared it. We ask Your blessings upon this house.” He hesitated a moment and cleared his throat as if trying to decide whether to continue. He then finished, “And everyone that dwells herein. Amen.”