Kane (American Extreme Bull Riders Tour Book 6)
Page 15
He nodded, and then called out Montana’s name. She turned back again and ran toward Kane who caught her and tossed her up in the air. Montana shrieked in joy.
“Again,” she demanded. Kane complied, all the way to the elevator.
“New workout routine.” He put his daughter down and looked at Sky. For the first time, no shadows flickered in his eyes or across his face. She smiled tentatively back, remembering how he’d incorporated her into his workouts—sitting on his back when he did push-ups or doing some yoga poses together. She’d also walked on his back when it was sore and massaged him.
She’d been so in love with him. Had felt so happy in his presence. What would they be like now together? What were Kane’s expectations? What were hers?
*
“Join us.” Kane’s voice was pure sin as he stood in the waist-deep water at the edge of the pool where they’d had three lounges set up with towels in a cabana Kane had rented for the week. It was absurdly expensive and Sky hovered between resentment—feeling like Kane seemed intent on pointing out the financial advantages for Montana—and the ever-present guilt that she’d been too afraid to seek him out.
She hadn’t trusted his feelings for her. She hadn’t trusted her ability to handle his lifestyle—the time on the road, the obligations, the ever-present danger and all the women. Between the danger to his health and the temptation of the women, Sky had no idea how she was supposed to negotiate that with a smile. Last time Kane had kept their relationship mostly separate from his work. She didn’t know what he planned this time. He probably didn’t either.
“Mama swim.” Montana, tucked into her father’s chest, slapped the water.
She sat up and regarded them. She propped her new TOMS sunglasses up on her head, where they perched in the messy bun she’d twisted up.
“How’s the water?”
“Perfect,” Kane said, his gaze not wavering from hers.
Were they flirting?
Kane was definitely trying to make some sort of connection between them. The resort hotel, the cabana and when he went shopping, he seriously shopped. A pile of pool toys had been tumbled in a basket—water toys, water wings, a life vest and four swim suits for Montana, and then without hesitation, he’d stalked over to the women’s section and chose three stylish and beautiful but very skimpy bikinis for her and two suit cover-ups that exposed more than they covered.
Sky clutched the swim wrap closer to her, a little embarrassed by how sexy the suit was.
“You used to love the water, even when wearing less,” Kane said, his mouth curved in challenge, or was it memory of how she’d skinny-dipped with him in more than one hotel pool long after hours.
Where had that brave girl gone?
“I’m afraid I’ll blind everyone.”
Kane laughed. “Go for it.”
“Easy for you to say—you are still wearing your sunglasses.”
A thought hit her, and she sat up, worried.
“Is the light bothering your eyes?”
“A little,” he acknowledged. His honesty surprised her. “Join us, Sky, please.”
She slipped off the Oka-B silver flip-flops that matched her silver bandeau bikini top and black and silver crochet bottoms and then shred the wrap. She slipped into the water.
“Chilly,” she said, conscious that her nipples beaded tightly and were obvious through the thin material.
“Not chilly enough apparently,” he said self-deprecatingly, reeling her in closer and she caught her breath when the hard length of him brushed her exposed tummy.
It was suddenly hard to swallow. And she kept forgetting to breathe. The pool wasn’t crowded. Most of the guests were poolside stretched out on pool lounges shaded by wide blue umbrellas. Sky didn’t miss the very interested looks more than a few women were casting his way. She’d winced when two women had made a big show of sitting up on their lounges and reapplying sunscreen and lipstick.
Even though she knew she shouldn’t care, she’d been comforted that Kane had focused solely on playing with Montana and teaching her to swim, and now he was focused on her.
“Kane,” she whispered. The worries about money faded; the guilt faded. It was weird. For a moment she felt like she used to—when it was just them, and she’d made him her world. “I don’t know what to do.”
He surprised her. He leaned forward, kissed the corner of her mouth and then stepped back, a playful smile touching his lips, and his dimple danced into sight.
“Get ready to catch a fish,” he said, holding Montana, his hand splayed across her tummy. He let her go and Montana splashed and rolled and kicked up a tsunami of waves as she thrashed her way across the few feet of water separating her parents.
Sky caught Montana and lifted her up above her head, the memories easing a little and her heart soaring with pride for her little girl.
“You did it!” She hugged Montana tightly to her.
“Again, again!” Montana squirmed, and Sky lowered her into the water, whispered encouragement and watched as her daughter swam away from her, full of life and confidence.
If only bridging the emotional gap between her parents could be so easy.
*
Later Sky sat up on the chaise and even though they were in a cabana, she smoothed sunscreen over her legs and arms and her chest. She was just stroking it on her shoulders and back when Kane and Montana returned from watching a collection of exotic birds get fed. They had ordered food—a Sunrise acai bowl for her, chicken Caesar salad for Kane and a fish taco for Montana—and Kane had taken Montana to see the birds when she started getting restless for her snack.
She was off her schedule. It was almost too late for a nap and too early for bed, but she couldn’t begrudge Montana this time with Kane. The pool had been magical. It reminded Sky that the last three years had been a lot of work and not enough fun. Kane had always worked hard, but boy-oh-boy had he known how to have fun. They had done a lot of sightseeing when they’d traveled, taking small detours to see beautiful views and go hiking.
Kane took the sunscreen from her hand, sprawled out beside her on the same lounger and squirted some sunscreen in his palm, and then he warmed it by rubbing his hands together. Sky caught her breath as his hands, warm and sure, began to stroke down her skin.
“Kane,” she protested, but didn’t move away.
Desire pierced her low in her core and radiated out in waves of liquid heat. Her legs stirred restlessly, and she tried not to remember how he had done this many, many times before. She closed her eyes and just for this moment allowed the indulgence. Pretended that she hadn’t ruined everything through fear and lack of confidence. Those two bitches had ruled her life, and when she’d left home for art college, she’d thought she’d left them behind. And now, here they were again.
“Kane.” She finally stirred even though his hands continued to stroke her body, and she felt so decadent and relaxed even though she knew she had to get a grip and take charge. Not easy when facing Kane Wilder. Montana relaxed on another chaise singing softly to her bull. Perhaps if Montana weren’t taking Kane’s sudden appearance in her life so easily, it would be easier to push him away.
But seeing her little girl so happy made her realize how much Montana and Kane had missed, and heck, why lie? She’d missed out too. Being with Kane made her feel happy and alive in a way she hadn’t been in four years. She’d been building a life for herself and Montana. She was finally gaining confidence in herself, no longer always hearing the disparaging voice of her father or feeling the chilly reception her parents gave her, which had gone frigid after Bennington had died.
But she hadn’t one felt even a tenth of the emotions or attraction that she’d experienced in the past day and night with Kane. It was thrilling and exhausting.
“Kane.” She spoke softly, barely restraining herself from leaning back into his body. “We really need to talk, make a plan to co-parent and what that will look like, how it will work.”
He rubbe
d more sunscreen into his palm and now his hands were stroking low on her back, his fingers brushing just slightly under the hip-hugging bikini.
“We have a plan, baby: we get married tomorrow. I’ve already put calls in to my financial advisor and attorney. They are flying out on the first flight from LA to expedite all the paperwork for us so we can get it done.”
It?
He was summing up their future in a couple of sentences.
“You sure kill it with the romance,” she said and immediately regretted it.
He stiffened behind her.
“There’s nothing romantic about this situation.”
She didn’t deserve romance. Not that he had been romantic before, not really. No grand gestures. No flowers. No flowery words. Not a lot of compliments. But he’d never let her pay for dinner or even one chai latte if he were within shouting distance. And he’d liked to do things with her—it hadn’t just been sex, although they’d had a lot of sex. He’d listened to her, asked about her art and her day. “I know. That was a stupid thing to say.”
Silence.
Okay, really stupid.
“What paperwork?” she asked curiously, not wanting her girlish wish to hang awkwardly in the air between them.
“Will. Life insurance beneficiary. College fund.” His hands had slipped down to span her waist, which sent darts of heat pooling low in her middle. “Sky.” His voice went tense. “Am I on her birth certificate?”
She shivered. How could she explain that to him? At that point she’d still been hoping to have some support or relationship with her parents. Knowing Kane was the father would have infuriated and devastated them, and she’d been skating on ice so thin she’d been poised to fall in. She’d had no idea Montana would look so much like her daddy.
“No,” she whispered.
“Why the hell not? What did you tell your parents? Lorenzo?”
She closed her eyes. When he put it like that it sounded awful. She was awful.
“You were never going to tell me. Never.”
She tried to swallow but her throat wouldn’t work.
“You were going to deny me my child forever.” He whispered the words, and they sounded broken, and Sky felt her own heart, wounded so many times so long ago, crack again on familiar fault lines. She just felt so hollow.
Instead of pulling away, she turned into him, pressed her face against his pec. She squeezed her eyes shut, but could still feel the hot spurt of tears. She held on hard to his muscled shoulders.
She didn’t have to answer. He knew.
“Why? What did I do that made you think I would be a terrible father?”
“I never thought that.” She pulled away and touched his mouth with gentle fingers. “Never that. It was me. I knew we were having a good time and all, and it was fun, but never permanent for you.” She felt like she was ripping off a Band-Aid from a wound that needed a tourniquet, but this was all on her. Not Kane. “You kept saying it was just for the summer so at the end…” She gulped a breath. “I had a shelf life. I knew that.”
“You were going back to school. You said that in June when you approached me.” He cupped her face; his thumbs traced her cheekbones. “Didn’t you want to go back to school?”
Of course he’d cut to the matter. Now she’d sound like the biggest idiot in love ever.
“No,” she whispered, anguished. “I kept hoping that you’d ask me to stay on tour with you, and I was so ashamed because you were so focused on your career, and I was so focused on you.”
“You never said anything,” he breathed out.
“Kane, I don’t want to talk about it. It’s humiliating. I drove you away because I kept telling you over and over how much I loved you and you never once… Not that I blame you,” she said quickly, dashing her tears away. “I still should have told you about the baby, let it be our decision instead of mine. I was immature and…and…”
He looked stricken.
“I was nineteen but still I should have put on my big girl panties as my roommate from college always said and sucked it up. So it’s on me. Not you, Kane. My fault. I didn’t doubt your parenting skills. I didn’t know how our life would work, and I wanted you to have freedom to pursue your dream. Still I should have done the right thing,” Sky said fiercely in a total mea culpa.
Kane pulled her to him. Held her so tightly she could barely breathe, and she didn’t care.
“There’s so much past,” she said softly. “But we have to find our future.”
“We will,” Kane said and his voice was adamant. “We will.”
“Fish taco?”
Total moment slayer. Sky scrambled out of Kane’s hold and realized that she hadn’t put her cover-up on yet so she was quite exposed in her bikini. The waiter handed out the food, smiling at Montana and handing her a mango smoothie along with her fish taco. She kept herself busy helping their daughter until Kane held out a spoonful from her acai bowl.
“You need to eat, Sky,” Kane said. She paused and then leaned forward, letting the spoon slide between her lips. He’d liked to feed her. She’d forgotten that. He’d hold a fork of something he was eating or she should have been eating and then watch her eat it, so much pleasure shining on his face that her hunger would take a different path. Some nights they hadn’t been able to get horizontal fast enough.
He spooned a second bite into her mouth and followed it with a quick, light kiss. “Let’s focus on the present,” he told her. “No more blame.”
*
“One bed?” Sky stopped on the threshold of the suite’s bedroom. She’d just finished giving Montana a bath in a tub that was practically a Jacuzzi and then she’d tucked her into in a sleeper sofa bed with pillows all around her.
Kane had just sauntered out of the massive marble bathroom, towel very low around his narrow hips. The large purpling bruise on his ribs didn’t detract one bit from his masculine attraction.
Sky needed a shower, a nap and a few days to process the changes in her life. Unfortunately, she had none of those.
“We’re not sleeping together,” she said, immediately picturing his tanned body sprawled on the pristine down white comforter.
Yet.
It was not how she’d intended to start the difficult conversation of shared custody and what that could realistically look like because jumping into a quickie marriage was not on her agenda, but seeing the plush California king bed screeched her brain to a dead stop.
He ignored her and instead opened his large leather duffel bag and pulled out a pair of workout shorts.
“Montana and I need our own room, Kane,” she said taking another step into the room and then another so that she stood between him and the massive bed she was trying to ignore. “Or I can sleep with her.” She thought of how expensive a room must be here. “Or we can stay at my…”
“No,” was all he said. His eyes flicked over her, and she gulped in a breath redolent with the scent of man and citrus shampoo.
She felt her blush bloom over her fair skin. So much for trying to meet him halfway.
Kane held another towel in his hand and ran it over his wet hair, drying it enough so that the loose curls began to form, nearly brushing his shoulders.
“I know we need to talk,” she sighed. “And it’s going to take time to sort through all our…issues.” She settled on a word that sounded rather stupid to her. “We always jumped to sex before,” she admitted, and she’d been just as guilty as he had been. “But time and discussion is going to help us decide what the future will look like, not sex.”
“I didn’t say anything about sex.” He held the pair of gray workout shorts in his hand and turned to face her. A drop of water chased down his pec and clung to his nipple briefly before falling onto the towel that hung precariously low on his hips, stark white against his olive skin. Kane laughed. “That was you.”
“I said no to sex.” She tried to breathe without dragging his scent into her lungs. Where was the air in the room? Even wit
h the air conditioner cranking, her skin prickled with heat. “And I’m not sleeping with you.”
“I didn’t say anything about sleep.” His voice went low and rough and another flash of heat lodged between her thighs.
“This isn’t…I’m not going to…you know,” she whispered backing up as he stalked toward her.
“What? Sex?” She could tell he repeated the word deliberately. “We always communicated with sex. We had our best communication naked and having sex.”
Her heart thudded. That was true but that type of communication was what got them in trouble.
“We didn’t talk enough.”
“You certainly held back vital info,” Kane dismissed. “So maybe we should start with sex.”
She held her hand up as if to stop his advance, but he dropped the towel and Sky’s arms dropped to her side and her eyes strayed south. Stayed. Her mouth dried. Her heart thundered. Her body went liquid.
“I’ll talk now,” she whispered each word distinctly even as the backs of her legs hit the bed and she sat down and was now eye level with his fierce erection. “I promise.” She was distracted as a drop of moisture beaded on the tip of his erection and without thinking her finger smoothed over the tip, stealing the moisture, and she brought her finger to her lips, already plumping with desire for him. “This is not a good idea, Kane.” She tried to think of all the reasons sex was a bad idea. Brain fail.
“It’s a fucking brilliant idea. I just look at you and think about sex and you get wet for me.”
“That’s not true,” Sky lied.
“Baby, you were always ready to burn, and I was right there in flames with you.”
“Things are different now,” she said a little desperately.
“Prove it.” He laughed and grabbed the front of her swim cover-up and ripped it down the front. Kane flung the material over his shoulder.
“I can’t believe you just did that,” she gasped. “You spent a stupid amount of money on that cover-up.”
“The cover-up was a dumb idea,” he conceded. “I like looking at you.”
“And I don’t like how you keep throwing money around,” she said, trying to focus on something that didn’t involve Kane naked and determined to revisit their sexual past when their emotional past was still a minefield. “You don’t need to prove anything to me, and I don’t want Montana to think she can instantly get anything she sets her heart on, which with little girls is a lot and often.”