The Complete Makanza Series: Books 0-4
Page 28
I stopped. My brother, my only friend and my only family who actually felt like family, was gone and was never coming back.
I played with my fingers. “It’s why I wanted to work with the virus. I made a promise to myself, when he died, that I’d do whatever was needed to find a vaccine or cure for Makanza. I owed Jeremy that much, so his death wouldn’t be in vain. I’ve dedicated the last six years of my life to that. It’s why I’m so young and working here. Six years of studying around the clock, barely sleeping, never taking any time off . . .” I bit my lip. “It’s another reason why I don’t have any friends, but it’s what I needed to do, so I could work for the MRI. It was the only way I could make some kind of sense out of Jeremy’s death.”
I stopped. The silence stretched.
“I’m sorry,” Davin finally whispered. “I know that doesn’t help, but I’m sorry you lost him.”
I shrugged. “I’m sorry you lost Aurora.”
He smiled sadly. I could tell he wanted to hang his head, or look away, but the Chair stopped him.
A flash of anger, so intense it took my breath away, coursed through me. All Davin wanted was to move his head, and he couldn’t. Because of the Chair. Because of the damned Compound.
I dropped my chin, forcing myself to calm down and take a deep breath. As angry as the Compound made me, this anger wouldn’t help. I needed to focus and rationally devise a plan to help Davin and the Kazzies.
“Do you miss him?” Davin asked.
“Every day. Do you miss Aurora?”
“Yeah, every day.”
We fell silent. It was strange. It should have been an awkward silence, or a moment when we both looked anywhere but at each other, but instead, it was the opposite. We both stared into each other’s eyes, the silent exchange saying more than any words could. I’d never felt more close to another human being. I wanted to cry at the irony of it all.
The only person I’ve ever been able to relate to about my lonely childhood and suffocating pain that plagued me every day since the death of my brother, was the only person I could never truly have in my life. He’d forever be in here, locked away.
At that moment, I hated the virus more than anything.
22 – TELEPATHY
After our raw, openly honest conversation on Tuesday, Davin and I spent the rest of the week talking. Each day we found more to say. It was like the dam had broken.
By Friday, I was spending hours at a time in Davin’s cell. Luckily, Sergeant Rose didn’t frown upon the longer and longer periods. Instead, he seemed to support them.
I wasn’t entirely sure what to make of everything. Davin confused and intrigued me. He was an enigmatic puzzle. One minute, he was smiling and laughing, but the next he was angry and withdrawn. I’d learned what triggered the latter: the Compound and Dr. Roberts. As for what made him smile, talking about his family, his time on the reservation, and the hobbies he’d enjoyed before Makanza.
He was a loner, like me. One of his favorite things had been walking along the Missouri River with nothing but the sky and hills for company. He had an affinity for nature, something his mother and father instilled in him. That was one of the hardest things for him about living within the Compound, the fact that he never got outside. At times, he said it was suffocating.
As for how Davin felt about me, I had no idea. I knew he enjoyed my company, but then again, I was the only person he’d really spoken to in six years. And while he was friendly, he was by no means flirtatious. I knew he was grateful I contacted his mother, and I knew he enjoyed how our conversations broke up his day, but beyond that, I had no idea how he felt.
Regardless of whatever Davin was thinking, I never thought it would be possible for me to spend so much time talking to someone. Normally, it took me months, sometimes years, to really feel comfortable with another person. Even the tentative friendship I’d formed with Amy was unusual.
Being with Davin, however, had begun to feel like breathing. Natural. Normal. He understood more than anyone what I went through losing my brother, and he gave me hope that someday I’d be completely whole again.
“ARE YOU READY?” Sergeant Rose asked.
His question shook me from my thoughts. We snapped my hood into place and finished the last safety check. The green light shone on my wrist. I was ready to enter Davin’s cell. It was my fifth time visiting him this week.
Tomorrow I’d drive to Rapid City to see his mother. However, this time my trip wouldn’t be impulsive. I’d leave early, which would give me plenty of time to arrive. Since I’d already met Sharon, I’d go straight to her house, even if it was unannounced. Davin told me she was a homebody and usually spent her free time indoors. He felt fairly certain she’d be there when I arrived.
Sergeant Rose did the final check on my respirator. “I’m sure he’ll get in the Chair right away. It shouldn’t take long.”
Just as he was about to exit, I flipped the switch on my wrist, activating the external speaker. “Wait. Does he have to be in the Chair?”
Sergeant Rose frowned. “Well . . .” He truly looked at loss for what that policy was.
“None of the other Kazzies are restrained when their researchers are in their cells, so why does Davin have to be? He won’t hurt me.”
Sergeant Rose sighed. “No. No, I don’t think he would.”
“So you won’t restrain him?”
Again, Sergeant Rose didn’t look entirely sure what to do. In the six years Davin had been at the Compound, I felt fairly certain he’d always been restrained.
“I’ll take full responsibility for whatever happens because I’m sure nothing will happen.”
Eventually, he nodded. “Okay, but only because I agree with you.”
Sergeant Rose returned to the watch room, sealing me inside the containment area. Soon, the dials turned, the red warning light flashed, and the hiss alerted me to the door opening.
Davin’s head snapped up as soon as I walked in. I could only imagine what I looked like, lumbering toward him like an astronaut on a mission to Mars. He was sitting on his bed, as if waiting for Sergeant Rose to activate the Chair. When our eyes connected, he smiled.
He was so beautiful, it took my breath away.
“Turning off the speakers,” Sergeant Rose stated. The familiar click sounded in my earbud.
“Hi,” I said. “We’re alone,” I added, with a wave toward the speakers.
Davin continued smiling.
Just a week ago, I would have felt paralyzing fear in the situation I was currently in. Last Friday, Davin might have lunged at me, ripped my hood off, and exposed me to Makanza. Now, I knew he’d never do that. He may not have feelings for me, but I knew he may consider me a friend. How much had changed in such little time.
“No Chair today, huh?” he said.
“Not today and not anymore if I have any say in it.”
He kept smiling. “I almost don’t know what to do.” He reached up, stretching his arms, showing off the freedom he had.
I laughed. “Neither do I. It was awkward enough trying to sit on your desk chair in this thing.” I indicated my suit. “But if I were to sit beside you on your bed, I’d probably fall off.”
He chuckled. “I’ll get the chair for you.”
In one of his lightning-fast moves, he had the chair at my side.
“Whoa.” I’d only seen him move like that while I was in the watch room, never this close.
“Sorry,” he murmured.
“Don’t be.” I sat.
He returned to the bed, leaning back on his elbows. I tried not to notice how his t-shirt spread across his chest, revealing strong pectorals underneath. I cleared my throat. “So, did you do anything fun last night?”
He snickered. “You mean besides watching TV, reading another book, and doing jumping jacks and push-ups?”
I rolled my eyes, smiling. “Yeah, besides that.”
“That would pretty much sum up my night. What about you? What did you get up to?”
“I went grocery shopping. Exciting life I lead, isn’t it?”
He leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees. I tried to ignore his bulging biceps. “What’s grocery shopping like nowadays?”
And just like that, we fell into easy conversation again. I told him about the South Dakota Food Distribution Centers and was shocked to learn he’d never heard of them. After that, he wanted to know more about my apartment and what life was like on the outside. His interest warmed me, but again, reminded me I was his only connection to the outside world.
While my heart fluttered at the sound of his voice, his was most likely beating steadily as if I was just another person who could break up his boring, routine.
“So, about tomorrow.” I changed subjects. “I’ll leave first thing in the morning, so I get to your mom’s with plenty of time to spare before curfew. Hopefully, on Monday I’ll have a few messages for you from her.”
He sat up straighter. “About that . . .” He glanced at the watch room before looking back at me. “You’re sure the speakers are off?”
“Yes.”
His gaze again went to the speakers. “You’re absolutely sure they’re off?”
“Yes, I’m sure.”
He swallowed. He looked visibly nervous. I’d never seen him like that before. He licked his lips. “There’s something I’m going to tell you, but you have to promise not to tell anyone. Not a living soul. Do you understand?”
I swallowed uncomfortably. “Um . . . okay.”
“I mean it, Meghan. Not a soul. Can you do that?”
Keeping secrets was one thing I was very good at. I met his gaze steadily. “Yes. I promise. I won’t tell anyone. Not a single soul.”
He took a deep breath. “Okay, so there’s one other thing I’d like you to do before you go, if you’re willing.”
My heart rate picked up. “Yes?”
He frowned, his eyebrows drawing together. “You know Sara? The Kazzie with her twin in the other cell? Do you know how she and her sister share a link? A . . . mental link?”
“Yes, telepathy. Or at least, that’s what we think they share.”
“They are telepathic, but there’s something else Sara can do, that the researchers don’t know about. She can communicate with other people, telepathically, if they’re open to the communication.”
“What?”
He nodded. “All of us can communicate with each other through Sara, but it’s imperative nobody in here finds that out.”
My mouth dropped. I sat dumbfounded for a moment as I processed what he said. “You mean, you can talk to Sara? And she can talk to you?”
“Yeah.”
“And she can talk to all the other Kazzies too? Dorothy, Garrett, Sage, and Victor?”
“Yep.”
I sat for a minute. Finally, I replied, “I had no idea. Nobody has any idea you can all do that.”
“Good. We don’t want Dr. Roberts knowing.”
“Because you’re afraid of what he’d do to her? That’s why you want me to keep it a secret?” I shook my head, suddenly realizing something. “So you really haven’t been alone in here, mentally I mean, with no one to talk to, for the last four months?”
“No.”
“That’s a relief.”
“There’s more, though,” Davin continued. “I was wondering if you’d . . .” He once again looked unsure. A very un-Davin-like trait.
“What? Tell me.”
“Would you make a link with Sara? I know you don’t work with her, but she doesn’t know how far her range can go, and she wants to test it. She’s been trying to make a connection with you since you started, but unless you’re willing, she can’t.”
It suddenly clicked.
Everything made sense now.
Those strange headaches I got around Sara. The way I felt as if she wanted something from me. All of the times she held her hand up to the windowed hall, smiling, trying to engage me. All of that was her trying to get through to me? To make a mental link?
“So that’s why she’s always happy to see me,” I breathed. “Everyone’s been wondering why she’s so interested in me. But why would she want to form a link with me? What if I told Dr. Roberts about it? Couldn’t that backfire?”
“That’s what I tried to tell her,” Davin said, “But she said you have such a receptive mind, that she saw glimpses of you, on the inside. She knew you were good and wouldn’t hurt us. She’s been trying for over a month to get me to trust you.”
“But you wouldn’t listen.”
“No, I wouldn’t,” he replied sheepishly. “I told her she was a fool to think she could trust you, but then she told me about the picture, of me and Aurora—”
“What? How did she know about that?”
“Apparently, you give out mental images when you’re stressed. She told me on Monday there was something in your pocket, before you entered my cell, and that it was from my mother.”
I remembered how Davin had talked to me right away on Monday, and how he’d stared at my belt when I sat in front of him. It all made sense now. He’d known it was there.
“Wow. Could she see anything else in my mind?”
“No. Like I said, she just gets feelings and glimpses into you, but that’s it.”
I bit my lip, trying to wrap my head around everything. “So, what would I need to do? To make this connection with Sara?”
He frowned. “It’s not easy. You’ll have to stop thinking about everything, and it’ll help if you’re close in proximity. Most of us had to be in the same room to make that first connection, but now that it’s there, we can talk to her even though walls surround us.”
“So you can never get away from her? She’s always in your head?”
“No, it’s nothing like that. She can only talk to me if I’m open to it, and I can only talk to her if she’s open to it. If I don’t want to talk, I shut her out, but since we established the link, it’s easy to get back in touch.”
I tried to imagine it. I couldn’t. “What’s it like?”
Davin leaned back on his elbows again, looking thoughtful. “Strange at first. You literally have a voice in your head, but it’s just Sara.”
“So you hear her talking?”
“Yeah.”
“How do you know when she wants to talk again, if you’ve shut her out?”
He cocked his head as if trying to find the words. “It’s hard to explain, but when she wants to enter my mind, I feel a scratchy, fuzzy feeling. You’ll know what I mean if you make the link. So when I feel her, I stop thinking about everything and open my mind. Then, she’s there again. You’ll get used to it after a while, and it gets easier with practice.”
I thought about it for a minute. Am I willing to do that? Open myself up to Sara completely? I was such a private person. I didn’t feel entirely comfortable with it, but if what Davin said was true, I could shut her out anytime I wanted.
“Would she read my thoughts or see my memories?”
“No. She’s in your mind, but she can’t see anything, at least not from me. Since she got that mental image from you, she may see more from you. I don’t know.”
I bit my lip. “And once the link is established, it can never go away?”
“I honestly don’t know. None of us have tried to break it.”
“No, of course not.”
I thought for another minute, about what that link would mean. Not only would I be conspiring with Davin, but I’d be conspiring with Sara and the Kazzies since that would open secret communication between me and all of them through Sara. Am I ready to do that?
I already knew the answer. The whole reason I’d decided to stay at the Compound was to help them. All of them. Not just Davin.
“Okay, I’ll stop by her cell on my way out and see if I can make it work.”
“Really?” Davin’s eyebrows rose. He looked surprised, and then murmured, “Sara was right about you all along.”
“What?”
Different. I paused as that word sank in.
I didn’t know if he meant that I was different because I was receptive or different because he thought I was a freak or something like that.
I swallowed tightly. “And you think that now? That I’m different?”
“Yeah, I do.”
It felt like the wind got knocked out of me even though I knew he probably didn’t mean it in a negative way. But still, the age-old response I had when someone pointed it out, stung.
A lot.
“Meghan? Is something wrong?”
I cleared my throat. I couldn’t meet his gaze.
For just once in my life, I wanted to be like everyone else. Not different, not an outsider, just normal, but apparently, even with Davin and the Kazzies, I wasn’t.
“Meghan?” His tone grew more worried.
I forced a wooden smile. “No. I’m fine, but I should go.”
He frowned, his eyes searching mine. “Are you sure you’re okay? You don’t have to make that connection with Sara. I just wanted you to know you could, and then we could all talk to you, even when you’re not here.”
“I know, I know. I get it.” I stood. “I’ll see you Monday?”
A blur to my right and he was in front of me, towering over me. His worried gaze searched my face as he stood directly in my path, blocking me from the containment room. He’d moved so fast.
For the first time, I realized how vulnerable my position was. Davin was incredibly powerful and without the Chair, I was pathetically defenseless against him. And he currently blocked my one and only exit out of this room.
My breath rushed out.
“Meghan, are you sure everything’s okay?” His bright blue eyes traveled over my face.
His words rolled right over me. All I could think about was that if he wanted to, he could kill me. My heart was beating so hard I felt lightheaded.