Want To Hate You ... Too Bad I Love You

by Melanie Marks

  As I was busy commiserating with my friends, Grady wandered over to us. Nicole and Sara got really quiet, like they weren’t sure what they should do—hate on Grady for being into Becca, or be nice to him because he’s Grady, or ??? They looked at me—like for guidance. Like how did I want them to treat this traitor that stomped on my heart, but used to be my best friend as well as boyfriend.

  “What’s going on?” Grady asked in all innocence, looking between the three of us, since suddenly we had all gone completely silent—as soon as he came up to us.

  Grady flashed a bewildered grin, cocking his head at me. “Should I leave? Is this a private powwow?” He raised his eyebrows at me. “Are we in a fight?”

  Grady doesn’t read the school’s social pages. Ever. He doesn’t even know his password to it. So I knew he had no clue what his “sweet” girlfriend had written about me. Nicole seemed to know that too. But she’s kind of spunky.

  “No, you can stay,” she told him. “We were just leaving—well, not Mandy, of course. She’s waiting here for her new boyfriend—Matt Roberts.”

  She blurted out Matt’s name really quick. I could tell she just thought of it right there on the spot. (Since Matt is always on her mind.) (Always.)

  I shot her a questioning look, but she just sheepishly shrugged, like ‘Sorry, but that’s all I could come up with.’ Like I said, Matt’s always on her mind. (And she’s not a good liar.) (Obviously.)

  Grady’s eyes squinted when he heard Nicole’s lie—not like he was mad (of course), but like he was confused. Very, very. He turned to me with a furrowed brow. “Matt’s your boyfriend? When did this happen?”

  Nicole kind of cringed at the question and gave me this look that said Sorry! And maybe also: I hope you can handle this—all the lying. Because I sure can’t—obviously!!

  She and Sara quickly backed away—giving me the freedom to say whatever I wanted and not have to face them while I did it—lie my face off. And hopefully, they were going to scamper off and find Matt. Quick. Before he learned at lunch he was my new “boyfriend.” However, at least I knew he’d go along with the crazy lie and play the part—he’d do anything for Nicole.

  “Bye Mandy,” Sara and Nicole squeaked as they scurried away.

  “Bye!” I called after them, avoiding facing Grady—and his question that he was still waiting for an answer to.

  But finally, I had to turn back to him and his questioning, skeptical eyes. Ones that clearly said—When did this happen? When did you and Matt Roberts get together?

  ‘Cause, um, Matt was Nicole’s—and Grady knew it.

  “It just happened … recently,” I said.

  “Like, last night?” Grady asked incredulously. “’Cause I just saw you yesterday and you didn’t mention it.”

  “Mention what?” Suddenly, Becca was beside Grady. She linked her fingers through his and I winced. Like, died.

  Grady shot Becca a ‘This is interesting’ look, that also said: ‘You’ll probably like it.’ Grady informed her with a puzzled note in his voice, “Matt Roberts is Mandy’s new boyfriend.”

  Becca made a huffing sound, like she totally didn’t believe it. Not even slightly. “Matt Roberts who is in love with that Nicole chick?—doubtful.”

  Grady tilted his head, like he didn’t exactly like Becca being so completely dismissive about it. “No, really,” Grady said. “She’s standing here waiting for him.”

  “Well, she’s going to be waiting a long time,” Becca said smugly. “Matt didn’t come to school today.”

  Uh-oh.

  Becca went on—driving her point, “I know because he’s in my first period class—usually … when he’s here. By the way, he’s also in my last period class too, and he spends the whole period staring at Nicole.”

  Grady’s jaw muscles ticked as he peeked a tiny look at me. One full of question marks that said, Did you lie??

  “Hey, there you are!” suddenly a husky voice said near my ear. Then (gasp!) my cheek was kissed. Kissed!!

  All the air whooshed out of me—because—because—!

  Because it was Smith! Suddenly he was standing right beside me with his arm around. Smith!!

  I about keeled over.

  So did Becca.

  Her jaw totally dropped to the ground and she made this gasp/hiss sound.

  It was totally perplexing—for a second. But then suddenly I remembered: ‘Oh yeah, Becca had tried scamming on Smith when she very first got to our school. Smith had declined her flirty invitation to slow dance, giving her a lazy look as he informed her, “I have a girlfriend.”

  “Oh,” she had turned bright red. “I’m new,” she said in a weak voice. “I don’t know yet who’s taken.”

  He raised his eyebrows, almost scornfully, “Well, I am—taken.”

  At the time I’d felt sorry for her. And thought Smith was mean and should have just taken pity on her and accepted the dance.

  However, now I get the feeling he had known she was a sneaky conniving snake, trying to take a taken guy.

  Now I wished Grady had been “mean” to her, and made it clear to her he was “taken.” You know, back when he was.

  Becca narrowed her eyes into slits as she stared at Smith’s arm around me. She bit out angrily, “You two are together now?”

  Smith gave her a friendly wink, probably knowing that inside Becca was exploding with jealousy—and let’s not forget, confusion. Since after all, just last night she had posted that I should ‘get a life.’

  Smith nodded with a huge smile. “We’re not only together—we’re super together.” He pulled me even closer, kissing me on the cheek again.

  Grady choked. “Since when??!!!”

  He eyed me funny, like: What’s going on, Mandy?

  He pointed out, “Nicole said your ‘boyfriend’ was Matt Roberts.” He raised his eyebrows pointedly, “Boyfriend.”

  “Uh,” I swallowed.

  “Matt?!” Smith cocked his head at me with a teasing gleam in his eyes. “Mandy, geesh, do I already have competition?”

  I blinked, then quickly cleared my throat. “No, of course not,” I answered, but I was still in a daze. I mean he had his arm around me, and he kept nuzzling my cheek, and he was gazing into my eyes all twinkly and mesmerizing.

  I cleared my throat again, then dragged my gaze away from his tasty eyes, and peeked into Grady’s confused ones. He looked sooo shocked. And confused.

  I would have totally come clean and told him the truth. Right there—due to his confused stare. But he was into Becca now. (Sob!) And he was clueless that I could actually do this—be into another guy.

  So, I quickly (lamely) choked out a lie, “Um, yeah, Nicole said Matt. Because—well, because she totally has him on her brain right now—because he’s really sick. That’s why he didn’t come to school today. Nicole is super, super worried about him. So, yeah, Matt is on his mind. Big time. Even more than usual. So, well, she accidently said his name. But she meant—” I gestured to Smith and swallowed hard, “—Smith.”

  A tiny moan slipped from Grady’s lips. Or maybe it was more of a grunt. (After all, this was Smith he was seeing with an arm around me. Smith, who I’d idolized and been infatuated with, and secretly had autograph my drumsticks—and Grady knew all of this.) So, I’m not sure what the sound was that came from him. But Becca’s was a definite huff, still not sounding convinced. At all. Like no way could Smith be into me, since he had flat-out turned her down. So, no way.

  She narrowed her eyes. “This is just another lame fake-date thing, right? Like what she tried with Todd.” She glared up at Smith. “Is she paying you?”

  Smith gave a husky laugh, sounding incredulous. “No, she’s not paying me. I should pay her—her kisses drive me wild.” He looked over to Grady’s confused eyes. “I’ve always had a thing for her. I’m just glad she’s finally free.”

  Grady turned white as a ghost, but Becca just huffed, “I’m not buying it.”

  Smith shrugged. “I don’t care wha
t you do.”

  His eyes cut to Grady again. With the tiniest grin, he jutted his chin, gesturing to the “Show the Love” sign hanging on the wall beside me. With another grin, he shocked the three of us by announcing, “We’re going to that.”

  He leaned in close to me, staring into my stunned eyes, “—right, Mandy?”

  Without waiting for me to answer, since I couldn’t (hey, it’s a huge deal—the “Show the Love” thing, I mean. It’s a fundraiser where you pay a hundred dollars to get your picture taken by a professional modeling photographer. Well, he takes your picture while you’re kissing your significant other—you know, ‘showing the love’) But yeah, I couldn’t answer. Or speak a word. ‘Cause I was in shock. Like everyone else.

  Smith quickly went on, “We’re going to kiss like crazy. You know,” he said, snuggling up close, close, close to me “—we’re going to show our love.”

  He squeezed me tight as he said that, and I couldn’t breathe, ‘cause I was suddenly picturing us kissing like crazy. Mmm.

  Hello, Heaven.

  Grady squinted his eyes, still seeming like he was pretty sure he was missing something—like, the truth. But he didn’t call us out, or even try.

  Meanwhile, Becca snorted, sounding sooo hostile, “She must be paying you a lot.”

  She grabbed her boyfriend’s arm, trying to drag bewildered Grady away. “Come on Grady, don’t fall for their make-believe.” She put her hands on either side of his face, making him drag his eyes away from me to glance into hers. “Remember what she did with Todd? She’s trying to do that with Smith. She’s pathetically trying to get you jealous—it’s pathetic.”

  Grady looked back at me as she led him away. There were question marks in his eyes.

  After all, he knew how I felt about Smith.

  Maybe he actually believed this fake-date.

  At least a little.

  CHAPTER 62

  Once Grady and Becca are finally out of earshot, Smith drops his act. (Sadness!) He turns back to me with a quizzical look.

  “How did you sleep last night?” he asks with a faint grin, eyeing my non-brushed hair, and the same clothes I was wearing yesterday.

  “Sleep? What’s that?” I take another long swig of the thermos concoction I made before rushing out of the house this morning.

  He watches me do it with a quirked eyebrow. “That stuff stinks. What are you drinking?”

  “Caffeine,” I tell him, “Want some?”

  I hold it out to him, but he only shakes his head.

  As I take another drink, he juts his chin. “What’s in it?”

  “I told you—caffeine. It’s coffee and, you know, that ginormously caffeinated cola drink?—tons of that. And double chocolate milk, and sugar and—”

  “Wait.” His lips twitch. “All that stuff is in that thermos?” He raises his eyebrows, “—mixed together?”

  “Yeah. It’s to keep me awake for the test.”

  “Want some?” I offer again.

  Again he shakes his head, though now he’s smiling about it, once again looking at me like I’m an amusing five year-old that has gone on and on about the Easter bunny and Santa Clause.

  “No. I definitely don’t want a drink,” he says.

  CHAPTER 63

  In chemistry class, right when we’re about to take the test, I lunge out of my seat, and make a mad dash to the trashcan and … barf. Brown caffeinated sludge pours out of my mouth.

  Yep. The whole class stares at me as I barf out a river.

  Then my teacher calmly says, “Miss Hall, you’re excused.”

  He looks to Grady who is staring at me like I’ve grown an extra head. “Grady,” Mr. Watts says, “Will you escort Miss Hall to the nurses office?”

  Smith hops up.

  “I’ll take her,” he says.

  “No, I’ll take her,” Grady informs him, still looking at me like I’m from another planet and he’s wondering why this strange alien creature is wearing my clothes—but didn’t brush my hair. I mean, I get it. His concerned bewilderment. I mean, since we broke up I’ve fainted, stalked, and now barfed in the classroom trashcan. (This isn’t normal me.) (Really!!) (Until very recently I was cool.) (Sort of.)

  “No, that’s okay,” Smith firmly tells Grady. Then he looks to me, “Who do you want to escort you, Mandy?”

  I blink. What, they’re fighting over me? I barf again. Embarrassed, I tell Mr. Watts—and the entire class—“I think it’s something I ate.”

  Smith grins slightly. He murmurs, “Or drank.”

  He said it really soft, like so only I could hear his teasing remark. But Mr. Watts heard it, of course (because that’s so my luck).

  Mr. Watts’ eyebrows go up with surprise. “Miss Hall, have you been drinking?”

  “Um … just milk—I think it was sour.”

  “Doesn’t look like milk,” Grady points out, glancing between Smith and me like he’s somewhat suspicious Smith got me drunk … or spiked my sour milk with brown drugs or something.

  “I can walk myself to the nurse’s office,” I tell Mr. Watts. “But I’m taking this can with me.”

  “I’ll hold the trashcan for her,” Smith announces. “I’m used to this—being there for hurt, betrayed girls.”

  He says this more to Grady than to the teacher—and it’s purposefully a threat/taunt to Grady, since Grady clearly doesn’t want Smith to walk me.

  Grady stares at him a moment, then shakes his head. Sounding bitter and totally un-Grady-like, he snarls, “She wasn’t betrayed, and I didn’t give her any strange drinks.”

  “Neither did I,” Smith points out calmly, “but she wouldn’t have needed it if she wasn’t going through emotional turmoil.”

  Mr. Watts cocks his head. “Are my tests causing you emotional turmoil, Miss Hall?”

  “Um … a little?”

  He looks alarmed. “Causing you to drink?”

  Smith grins, his eyes dancing. “Show him what you ‘drank.’”

  My face igniting, I shake my head. “Sour milk. It soured my stomach.”

  Smith glares at Grady, “Well, something soured her stomach. Come on.”

  He puts his arm gently around my waist. From the corner of my eye, I see Grady wince. Slightly. (Maybe.)

  Smith obviously seems to think so. Obviously. Since he looks back at Grady and announces, “One of us was the answer to her prayers—the other one makes her barf in trashcans.”

  Grady just stares at him, his lips forming an ‘O.’ Curiously, I know why. Because he read that in my comic book—that Superhero Smith Cross was the answer to my prayers. That was in the first episode, where Smith flew down from out of nowhere and saved me from the freezing ice water I’d fallen into and was drowning.

  Grady makes a tiny noise of protest, but Smith just glares at him, like Grady has hurt his little sister and he’s thinking about knocking Grady’s head across the room.

  Grady murmurs, “You know, she broke up with me.”

  Smith grunts, “Did she have a choice? You know what, dude? You don’t get to walk her to the nurse’s office. You don’t get to come near her. If you ever do again, I’ll bash your head in.”

  The whole class makes ‘ohhh’ noises.

  Mr. Watts firmly shakes his head, seeming to finally realize this has nothing to do with his tests. “No. Neither of you will walk her—you both need to calm down and take your seats. Ally,” he darts his gaze to Griffin Piper’s girlfriend. “Will you walk Miss Hall to the nurse’s office?”

  CHAPTER 64

  Once I’m out of the classroom door, Smith texts, “Well, that’s one way to get out of a test.”

  Then he adds, “I bow to you.”

  CHAPTER 65

  A moment later, Smith texts more: “Sorry if I made a scene in class. The guy bugs me.”

  I typed back, “Me too. Thanks.”

  CHAPTER 66

  The nurse sent me home. Since, you know, I was puking. Duh.

  For the rest of the day, I
kept gazing hypnotically at Smith’s texts.

  I wanted to ask him if we were really going to the kiss-thing.

  But then, I didn’t bother.

  I mean the thing costs a hundred bucks.

  That’s a little much just to prove a point.

  Still, I fantasized it for the rest of the day—being kissed by sexy Smith.

  … and I kept reliving the way he had rescued me this morning. That had been pretty sexy too.

  Dang sexy.

  Like … sizzling.

  CHAPTER 67

  “… then Smith held me in his arms all gentle because my knees went weak.” I was telling Nicole and Sara about my encounter with Grady and Becca today, and how sweet, heroic Smith had come to my rescue.

  Sara sighed. “That’s so romantic.”

  “I know, right?” I blushed.

  “So you guys are going to the ‘Show Your Love’ thing?” Nicole asked with an excited smile, obviously relieved everything worked out after all—even after her strange, crazy ‘Matt’ lie to Grady.

  “I don’t think so,” I said with little sparks going through me anyway—‘cause just the thought is enough to do that to me. The thought of finally kissing Sexy Superhero Smith—Mmm, it’s too much for my crush-prone heart.

  I mean that sincerely. I finally came back to school today, even though I was sent home. I mean, I had too much caffeine in me to sleep, and laying in bed all I could do was think about Smith—which was fun (definitely), but I had two more tests to take today, and I didn’t want to get behind, because I’m not very good at catching up.

  My friends didn’t ease up on the exciting (though doubtful) possibility Smith might actually be planning to take me to ‘Show Your Love.’ I mean, for real.