Billionaire's Defiant Mistress
Page 10
She had no choice. She could do no other but come right out with it. Sarah swallowed hard and then blurted, “I'm pregnant, Carlos.”
Carlos felt his world tip upside down as his heart thundered, being overwhelmed by an extraordinary feeling of powerlessness. His lack of control soon overtaken by pure anger.
“You can't be pregnant, that's impossible.”
“Then we have a miracle on our hands. I can assure you I am pregnant,” she replied.
His mind ran through a million scenes a second as he wondered how it could have happened. When did it happen? There were times when he had wanted her so badly that putting on a condom had been a deep irritation, but he had made sure he had protected them on every occasion.
“How long have you been pregnant?” he asked, trying to remain calm.
“Just a few weeks, a month, I don't know.”
His stomach was churning and a heavy sense of foreboding engulfed him whilst the anger continued to flow through his veins as if he had been poisoned. Feeling cornered and powerless he wanted to lash out, to hurt her? “You are certain that I am the father?”
Sarah slumped into the sofa as if he had fired an arrow through her heart. A near fatal wound caused by the harsh cruelty that was embedded in his accusation. She could hear the blood pounding in her ears. How could he think that she was so desperate for sex, so easily able to forget all about him, that she could jump straight into bed with another man? Is that the impression she gave him? Was the way she jumped straight into bed with him good reason to believe that was the kind of girl she was?
But it was at this moment that Sarah began to feel a faint flicker of strength build-up deep inside her. She realised that she was all alone. And from that realisation, something primitive which had empowered many women before her, gave her an incredible strength. As she received the stark and unwanted news her hand drifted over her belly, caressing it in a protective manner before resting as if building a wall around her womb.
She contemplated Carlos's words briefly and was very clear in her mind how she felt about them. They were hurtful and hateful words in the circumstances. She heard those words go through her mind one more time – you are certain that I am the father? How could he be so cruel when she had given him her innocence along with her heart?
If there could be a definitive moment in time when a girl becomes a woman then this was that moment for Sarah. She took a deep breath as the hand on her stomach tightened into a determined fist. “No. The baby is not yours.” She spoke clearly and confidently. “The baby is mine. You don't need to do a damn thing, Carlos. We don't need you and we certainly don't want you, I just felt that you had a right to know. I won't be bothering you again.” She turned the phone off and slithered down the sofa, staring up at the ceiling as she gave out a huge sigh.
Her mother would be back soon, she remembered, so she stood up and walked around in an attempt to regain her equilibrium. Realising that she was now responsible for herself and her unborn baby only served to give her strength and determination to succeed on her own. She needed to get herself organised – to make plans without any outside influence or pressure. She knew she could rely on her mother – but that wasn't the point. It was her responsibility ultimately and it was only her who was able to make those decisions. Her mother didn't need to know, not just yet, neither did Anita.
There was only one person who had a right to be informed of her pregnancy and he had treated the announcement with contempt. Her immediate concern was to take care of herself by eating good food, getting plenty of rest and figuring out what to do.
She knew she needed to get out of the house before her mother came back. Wrapping up her body in layers of clothing with a big woolly hat on her hair, she headed off for a walk by the lake.
The wind was a persistent feature of the valley where Sarah lived. Wherever you were the wind provided a background noise, it was even more regular than the seemingly constant rain. As she made her way to the lake's shore she wondered how many women, over the centuries, had taken a solitary walk as they railed against the men who had spurned them?
It was a grey winter's day and the reflection in the water seemed to mirror her own mood. Sarah walked along the shore path which led through the Briers Wood – a walk she had done many times – and which generally left her feeling content and delighted at life. Understandably, today she had troubled thoughts and it was a challenge to count her blessings. She continued on and on until the fading light made her aware of the need to turn back and go home. The fresh air and exercise had lifted her spirits and helped to reinforce the idea that she was young, healthy and ready to face any challenge. At a minimum, she had a wonderful mother and a roof over her head – many women had started rearing a child with much less.
On the final stretch of shoreline before she turned on the path to take her back to the village she stopped in her tracks in disbelief. In the distance striding towards her was the silhouette of a man who had recently been so dear to her and had only that day struck misery deep in her soul.
Carlos.
Carlos?
Because of the fading light he looked as if he was clothed completely in black – he could have been mistaken for the devil, she thought. As he got closer she could see his black hair had been ruffled by the wind and his deep dark eyes were glistening thanks to the watery tears produced by the effect of the wind. She didn't say a word or move, instead waiting until he was close enough and she could see the displeasure on his face, his rugged features and angry eyes.
“You have got here quickly.”
“I drove up immediately after you put the phone down.”
“And I thought you were so busy. Did you abandon your business meetings?” she asked bitterly.
“I now have other priorities.” His eyes blazed. “Did you decide that having my baby could get you a piece of my lifestyle and wealth? And is that what the incident in the shop in Venice was all about? You refuse the coat and lull me into a false sense of security before making a grab for your lifetime meal ticket?”
Sarah was stunned and there was a moment of painful silence. She clenched her fists within her mittens and turned on him with all the venom she could muster. “How dare you! There was nothing planned in this. It just happened. Pregnancies do happen, Carlos. And think about it – you were the one who said he would take care of contraception. I wouldn't willingly choose a cold-hearted bastard like you to father my child.” She took a deep breath during a pause, aware that she should maintain her dignity even though angry. “You have made yourself very clear, and so have I. So I will repeat myself – I don't want you, I don't need you – so what the hell are you doing here.”
Carlos studied her windswept, pale features. This was another Sarah, a different Sarah to the charming young woman he had paraded around Venice. There was a new quality in those deep blue eyes and a strange detached expression on her face. Any thoughts that he had about it not being true had gone. She wasn't about to admit it was all a big mistake and she had misread the instructions on the testing kit. Did she think this was any easier for him than it was for her?
Carlos's anger had slipped away. Somewhere that afternoon, between the phone call and hearing her passionate defence, he had decided to tackle the situation in the same way he tackled most things. His ability as a top soccer player and as a successful businessman were based on his flexibility. He hadn't chosen this set of circumstances but he could now mould them to suit his own needs, that's what he was best at. Sarah Daykin would not be able to prevent him from doing that.
His eyes scanned her face and he waited until she was looking directly at him. “I am here to tell you that we will be married,” he said.
Chapter 8
Sarah stood on one side of the rocky worn path staring at her dark eyed Spanish lover as he made his extraordinary demand. Was that a proposal? She hesitated for a moment, wondering if the noises from the blustery wind had distorted his words. But then she realised he had meant
what he said – it was clear from the steely, grim look in his eyes, as if someone was forcing him into an action against his wishes. And he was acting against his will, wasn't he?
As she opened her mouth to answer him, she could hear no noise except the rustling of her coat against the wind and the sorrowful, helplessness, beating in her heart. “What... what did you just say, Carlos?
“I said we shall get married!” His lips stiffened as a cold blast of air ruffled his dark locks. “We must get married and legitimise our child.”
Sarah thought right away that it was a blunt and unromantic declaration, but the coldness with which he spoke enabled her to respond in an equally cold-blooded way – in spite of the fact that not long ago she would have celebrated Carlos making such a proposition.
“We don't need to get married, Carlos,” she replied. “This is the twenty-first century, nobody gets married any more because there's a baby on the way.”
He stared back at her, his eyes cold. “So you believe we have a choice?”
“Of course we have a choice. I'm sure we can work things out, there are plenty of ways we can do this. Women bring children up on their own all the time,” she explained.
“But they don't do it with my child,” he sneered.
“Look.” Sarah took in a deep breath, partly to stay calm and also because she expected a long stream of words to come flowing from her mouth. “I will always support your rights as a father, you will have unlimited access, Carlos – I can promise that.”
“You will support my rights as a father?” he repeated in an exasperated tone. “Do you think that only you can make decisions, that all the power is with you?”
“Carlos. This has nothing to do with power. This is not some business battle or soccer game that you have to win!” As she responded to him she was thinking how her pregnancy was making her, as a woman, feel strong. The new life being created inside her was helping her to throw off the fears which had blighted her, until now. Her rich lover would not be allowed to walk all over her. Then she reminded herself, bitterly, he's her ex-lover. “This is about a baby!”
Carlos took a slow ragged breath as images of his past flickered in his mind. “I know it's about a baby,” he said matter of factly. “Do you think I would be here if there wasn't a baby?”
Sarah's heart sank as his words played over in her mind again and again. It wasn't what he meant to say, but he said it nonetheless. He was there because of the baby, not because of her. “I couldn't possibly make such a serious error.” She spoke with all the pride she could muster.
“Do you think I should just walk away? Or perhaps you expect I will be easily fobbed off? What kind of a man do you think I am, if you expect me to stand on the sidelines whilst you control the future of our child?”
“Offering marriage is not something that will make it better.” Sarah paused for a moment as the reality of the situation hit her hard. He was tremendously rich. She was a shop assistant. They had had a short affair, and now he wanted to get married – because of a baby. Was he serious? “Explain to me how being married is going to make it work.”
“We have to make it work, there is no other option. We will soon have a child and we owe it to that child's future.” Carlos thought of his child growing inside her and felt his stomach churning as he grappled with new emotions – but he noticed the paleness in her face and wasn't sure whether it was caused by the strong cold wind or the shock of his arrival and the circumstances. Suddenly, he was disgusted in himself. He was arguing, and forcing himself on a young woman who was with child. He gently took her arm in his hand, straight-away feeling how frail she felt. His face tensed. “We can't talk here, come on, let's go.”
Sarah saw the black, gleaming bodywork of the limousine long before they reached the small car park. He opened the back door for her and she climbed in, appreciating the warmth and shelter it gave, as Carlos slid in beside her.
Pulling off her woollen hat, causing her pigtails to tumble down, she thought about how her hairstyle must make her look ridiculously young. He turned to her before he spoke.
“Who else knows that you are pregnant?”
“No one does, I haven't told anybody.”
“Have you told your mother?”
“Not yet.” As she answered she turned to look him in his dark eyes and gave a shallow laugh. “I'm a little worried about telling my mother, I don't think she'll be too happy about me getting pregnant by someone I've just met and then split up with.”
“Did you tell her about our relationship?”
“She knows I... met someone. But I didn't tell her I was your lover for a few weeks.” Sarah had seen concern in her mother's frown as she had probed gently, whilst trying to find out if anything was wrong with her daughter
. “I am sure she will approve of me,” he drawled. “And she will be pleased for us to get married.”
Sarah noticed his tone straight-away. He wasn't asking her if her mother would approve, he wasn't asking her what her mother's view on getting married would be. He was making a proud statement about his own self image. But she supposed, if you're successful and powerful and are used to getting every woman you want – except the one you fell in love with – then it's not unusual to develop an arrogant pride. As far as Carlos was concerned he was the perfect man, and the kind of catch every mother would choose for her daughter. “Because you are successful and rich, you mean?”
“More because I will be able to look after you and provide for our child.” His voice slowed as he thought for a moment. “But we don't need approval. It would be preferable, but it's not essential. And I will never give up on what is mine.”
Mine! His expression of possession she found appalling – even though she understood his motivation. She looked into his face and saw the determination and pride which seemed etched deep into the lines on his face. Remembering how he had lost his parents at an early age, had to fight his way through injury and loss of his first girlfriend, she realised that he was serious about the child which was going to be his first-born. She knew he would never give up on his child and a dark mood closed on her like a thin meshed net, wrapping itself around her heart.
“So that's it. The contract is signed and we tell everyone we are married,” she said, her voice lacking any enthusiasm.
“Yes, indeed. You will see it's for the best, my dear,” he said quietly. “We just need to present it in the best way we can.”
He moved his hand to his mouth, his finger resting on his top lip as his thumb stroked rhythmically underneath his chin. Sarah had seen him doing this before when she had been at his house. She knew it was an indication that he was deep in thought, wrangling over some problem for which he was keen to discover a solution.
She watched as his eyes narrowed and figured he had an answer when he dropped his hand from his chin. “So what do you propose we do,Carlos?” she said.
His darkened eyes shone as they met hers. “We will get married straight-away,” he said confidently. “But we will keep the pregnancy secret, for now.”
“Why a secret?”
“I think your mother will be happier and more likely to give her blessing if she believes we are marrying because of love.”
Sarah's mouth dropped. “That is so cynical, Carlos.” She had to look away.
“It is realistic,” he retorted. “Life isn't always fairy-tales and perfect storybook endings. People will have less to talk about if we don't sell it as a forced marriage.”
She couldn't believe what she was hearing and how Carlos was packaging their relationship. She felt he was treating her life, her baby and her potential marriage as something that needed marketing to the outside world. And all his concerns about her and the baby – or are his concerns only for his own pride and ego? He didn't want anybody to think he had been forced into marriage, instead he wanted people to believe it was what he had chosen. “I don't care about the rest of the world, you're not exactly selling the idea of marriage to me,” she sai
d, deliberately.
Sarah's words hit Carlos with full force. He recognised immediately that she was right. Wouldn't it suit him far more if she was purring with pleasure? He had used his considerable influence and sexual experience to gain power over her before, now he needed to think about doing it again and make her more amenable to his wishes. He lifted his hand and placed it under her chin. The contact with her face made him take notice at how cold she was compared to the warmth of his own hand. “Am I not?” he said gently, as he moved his face towards her so she could feel his warm breath on the icy quiver of her lips. “I am so wrapped up in thoughts of you, me and the child, my dear. I do apologise. Now what should I do to make you feel more comfortable about our future? What do you think?”
His face was close, she thought. Too close. It was so close she could make out the tiny lines in his face that she had first noticed when they were making love. Sarah instinctively closed her eyes, knowing that he was going to kiss her – and if only she could be honest with herself she knew that she wanted him to kiss her. She wanted him to seal the deal of their marriage which he had reluctantly made. But she also wanted him to kiss her because she had missed him, and she'd missed the closeness and intimacy that went with it.
He had been the tutor of her sexual awakening and her body had been aching for those sweet pleasures of the flesh. But if she closed her eyes she would at least be blocking out his mocking face and could protect herself from the cold recognition that she was quite simply entering into a business arrangement.
She felt his mouth graze over her lips – and despite not wanting pleasure from his contact she felt an instant ignition of the fire deep in her stomach. His lips touched her in delicate provocation as they roamed back and forth, until her pride and self respect no longer took priority in her mind, being replaced by desire as her arms wrapped around him. And as she felt his kisses she found herself biting back a small whimper of relief. She clung to him, like a small boat that had found a port during a storm – and briefly she felt warm and safe as she allowed the kiss to deepen and could feel his tongue probing her mouth.